Divorce?

Enough

New Member
I am hearing and my wife is deaf. We habe been married over 10 years and habe 2 beautiful children. I feel as if i missing out on a better quality marriage. With thay said , all the deaf people reading this will hate me now. Im just tired of having to take caee of someone.who uses being deaf as an excuse.to be lazy. Im tired of all the misunderstandings, im tired of repeating myself, im tired of sign language. our.kids.spend all.day with my wife and she ignores them since she is unable to.communicate with them. She did not teach them.asl. my wife plays candy crush all day, the house is a mess. She takes responsibility for nothing, she has never had a job and i take care of paying the bills fillijg out all paper work phone calls etc. I need a partner, not another kid. If zhe was hearing would this all be different? I dont haabe the patience to.communicate with her anymore. Its like she is.from another planet..Im just tired......
 

FriendlyGuy

Active Member
I am hearing and my wife is deaf. We habe been married over 10 years and habe 2 beautiful children. I feel as if i missing out on a better quality marriage. With thay said , all the deaf people reading this will hate me now. Im just tired of having to take caee of someone.who uses being deaf as an excuse.to be lazy. Im tired of all the misunderstandings, im tired of repeating myself, im tired of sign language. our.kids.spend all.day with my wife and she ignores them since she is unable to.communicate with them. She did not teach them.asl. my wife plays candy crush all day, the house is a mess. She takes responsibility for nothing, she has never had a job and i take care of paying the bills fillijg out all paper work phone calls etc. I need a partner, not another kid. If zhe was hearing would this all be different? I dont haabe the patience to.communicate with her anymore. Its like she is.from another planet..Im just tired......
I am impressed that you even were able to put this up for an entire decade but you are NOT in the wrong to "give her the talk". Because it's appears to me that she is just indeed be lazy rather than being a communication problem.

If you already talked to her about her laziness and that she need to do her part and if she still making up irrelevant excuses (like for example not doing the dishes, teaching the children to communicate with them with your assistant, etc) then a break up may be an order.

Heck I am deaf and blind and I do EVERYTHING myself minus driving since there not enough independent at an AFFORDABLE rate at this time. But even things like phone calls I do myself using an IP Relay Service.
 

Enough

New Member
yes we have had many talks. She is cold, i had spine surgery and few days later she left for 3 months to visit her mother. One would think you would take care of your spouse after surgery. My problem is i will put up with anything no matter how bad it is..
 

FriendlyGuy

Active Member
yes we have had many talks. She is cold, i had spine surgery and few days later she left for 3 months to visit her mother. One would think you would take care of your spouse after surgery. My problem is i will put up with anything no matter how bad it is..
You are 110% correct, sounds like how my mom's dad treated her when I was given birth at the hospital. Surely a bit later she broke up with him as rightfully she should had.

I would just go ahead and give her "the axe" (with reasonable due diligence of course) thus ending the relationship as obviously it appears to me that she is more interested of you working for her and putting a roof over her rather than working WITH YOU...
 

FriendlyGuy

Active Member
We’re only hearing one side of the story.
This is not a court... All he was asking if it was in the right to cease a relationship because of such and confirming that it has do nothing with her deafness. Being supposedly lazy AND disregarding her "loved one" is enough justification in my book to end it. IF talking to her (as he already mentioned above) doesn't seems to work.
 

Barbaro

Well-Known Member
I had to look up what Candy Crush is. So, it is a video game. It sounds like she has low esteem, insecure, and maybe depression. Or she is scared. Was she like that before you married her?

Can she use videophone to make phone calls, so you don't have to do all of it? Did she tell you why doesn't she teach your kids ASL?
 

Enough

New Member
she is happy all the time, lives in a dream world, sleeps in everyday, does nothing all day, maybe she will go shopping if she leabes the house. She says the videophone is a pain to use....
 

FriendlyGuy

Active Member
she is happy all the time, lives in a dream world, sleeps in everyday, does nothing all day, maybe she will go shopping if she leabes the house. She says the videophone is a pain to use....
As much as I hate careless slackers she kinda has a point about the video phone. That is why I prefer the IP Relay Service and not just because I am unable to see the screen while backed out as you needs to be.

But nevertheless you shouldn't have any problems going through with the divorce if you feels like your exhausted all of your options with her to "make things right".
 

Barbaro

Well-Known Member
she is happy all the time, lives in a dream world, sleeps in everyday, does nothing all day, maybe she will go shopping if she leabes the house. She says the videophone is a pain to use....
Ok, you didn't answer my first question. Was she like that before you married her? Is her personality changed after she gave birth to kids?
 

Barbaro

Well-Known Member
As for videophone, yes, it can be a pain in the butt. What she said is kinda too subjective. I have to let people know that it's ok to leave a message, but they don't always follow instruction. Sometimes, they hang up. I have no choice but to be consistent to tell them how to use a videophone. Some people prefer text over videophone. Sometimes I have to call, but they hang up on me because they thought I was trying to sell. Terps have to explain how it works. If I request for a terp for my son to see doctors and stuff, they always tell me they forgot to inform the agency to send a terp and we have to reschedule our appointment. Welcome to my life.
 

FriendlyGuy

Active Member
As for videophone, yes, it can be a pain in the butt. What she said is kinda too subjective. I have to let people know that it's ok to leave a message, but they don't always follow instruction. Sometimes, they hang up. I have no choice but to be consistent to tell them how to use a videophone. Some people prefer text over videophone. Sometimes I have to call, but they hang up on me because they thought I was trying to sell. Terps have to explain how it works. If I request for a terp for my son to see doctors and stuff, they always tell me they forgot to inform the agency to send a terp and we have to reschedule our appointment. Welcome to my life.
Welcome to my life too... Though with an IP Relay Service in my personal experience it somewhat more tolerate able but some are indeed rude, out right hilarious, or both.
 

Tetracyclone

Active Member
Getting chronically frustrated with the details of communicating (speaking loudly, repeating) is unavoidable if you do not sign yourself. It is possible things might have turned out differently if ....They are not. None of us can judge. You stated the primary difficulty here, "My problem is i will put up with anything no matter how bad it is..". Get counseling for yourself as even leaving your marriage would not change this. It will pop up later somehow. Work on yourself, and good luck. Probably divorce would be your first, and massive, effort to fix the submissive personality flaw. If you have sons you are teaching them to be doormats.
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
This is not a court... All he was asking if it was in the right to cease a relationship because of such and confirming that it has do nothing with her deafness. Being supposedly lazy AND disregarding her "loved one" is enough justification in my book to end it. IF talking to her (as he already mentioned above) doesn't seems to work.
You’re totally right, this is not a court. Yet you already played judge and told the OP to give her the axe. Your words.

How do you know she didn’t try to teach the kids ASL? Kids can be resilient to that. I have many friends whose children aren’t interested.

And, Candy Crush all day? I am assuming he works to support the family. Does he know she’s on the phone or computer ALL day to play? I’d hate to think there’s a video camera recording her. So, we don’t know that it happens the way he states.

He’s tired of sign language and helping with the phone? What happened to for better or worse? He knew ASL and communication was a necessity when they started dating and married. Was this a surprise?

I could go on and on, but bottom line, marriage counseling seems needed here, and a forum is not the place for that, nor in-the-dark posters telling the OP to give the wife the axe. My god.
 

FriendlyGuy

Active Member
I will try to clarifies on where I got my conclusions...

How do you know she didn’t try to teach the kids ASL?
And, Candy Crush all day? I am assuming he works to support the family. Does he know she’s on the phone or computer ALL day to play?
That out of our scope, but according to what he said that's those are the cases. Even if those are absolute lies would it not be better jut to break up for the best of both??
 

Cappy

Well-Known Member
I feel as if i missing out on a better quality marriage.
Im tired of all the misunderstandings, im tired of repeating myself, im tired of sign language.
If zhe was hearing would this all be different? I dont haabe the patience to.communicate with her anymore.
^Listen to yourself.^ Since we only know one side of the story and this is yours, that says alot about YOU. Why are you even in a Deaf forum? Looking for encouragement to justify YOUR fuck up by marrying a deaf person?
 
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goodonya

Well-Known Member
Methinks a troll of some sort playing the wah wah she's eating bon bons while I work like a slave and the kids all hate me and the house is filthy too etc. Meanwhile she stacking time in a cage with an abusive idiot .... or not.
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
I will try to clarifies on where I got my conclusions...





That out of our scope, but according to what he said that's those are the cases. Even if those are absolute lies would it not be better jut to break up for the best of both??
No. Based on two supposed lies? Give me a break.
 
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