Deaf or hearing, different people are just different. Some will be more open and direct, others will be more indirect and worry about hurting feelings or whatever.Thank you Nic. It is true; a direct approach would have been nicer from my guy friend. I would've known months ago, and could walked away then.
I've been told that the Deaf are more direct, but I have not experienced this. The ones I met are more indirect; my guy friend included. So, I am now wondering, are Deaf more direct with the Deaf? and indirect with hearing people?
That doesn't sound elitist to me, if anything is sounds... comfortable. Honestly, I think even going deaf doesn't let a HOH or late-deafened person fully understand what it's like to be born-d/Deaf. We learned English first, we could hear while we learned English, we can typically speak as well as hearies, we didn't go to Deaf school, we didn't experience youth without hearing; it's different....For instance, someone who is deaf has the same background as me and will COMPLETELY get me... whereas a hearing person can learn everything related to deafness/ASL/deaf culture and empathize all they want, but will never FULLY, I mean 100%, understand what it's like to be deaf unless they go deaf themselves. I hope that doesn't sound elitist though...
I think it makes a lot of sense that you'd want someone to learn ASL as a remequirent before dating. Anyone not open to learning ASL, and then actually following through... it's probably not going to work out. It'd put too much of the communication burden on you. Having someone learning ASL divides that burden. And while the new signer will struggle at first, they have the ability to get proficient and make everything easier for both of you in the future. All-verbal keeps that burden on you forever, it's not fair.I did learn something the hard way from my failed relationship - if I find another hearing guy to date again, he MUST learn signs BEFORE dating - I will not just believe a hearing guy's promise, or trust that he'd pick it up as the relationship goes on. But if I could find a deaf guy or a hearing guy who can already speak ASL well, that would be a lot easier for me.
I think just HOH, probably not half HOH. You're really either HOH or not, a little HOH is still HOH. But, how you identify, HOH, hearing, or d/Deaf, is a personal decision from what I've read. Whatever feels right to you, is right.Now, I myself is also losing my hearing. Right now I am HOH in my left ear. My right ear is ok. I don't know what to call myself. Half hearing and half HOH? I don't know. I haven't told to many people. The thing that's scary is that everyone I know expects me to hear. So, it will be another learning curve to adjust to not hearing, and then to educate everyone around me when I can no longer hear them. Even now, when I have to ask them to repeat; they get annoyed, so I try to stand so that they are on my right side, but I'm already getting a taste of I'm in for.
I would say yes if that is what he is doing. The key to the answer is to come out and ask him what you asked here. Just say, "would you prefer being alone over a relationship?" He's the only one who knows.Well.....here we go again. I tried again to distance myself from my guy friend, but I always end up in contact with him. It turned out he had gotten really ill, but wouldn't go to the doctor. I ended up calling the doctor for him, and he went. Then, after the ordeal was over, I offered to bring food to him, and he accepted it. It was really nice
Now that he is recovering, and feeling better, he has gone silent again....I understand now that I think solitude is a comfort for him, because he's used to being alone. So, I have a question about this.
Would a deaf man prefer being alone over a relationship ?