date ideas?

Discussion in 'Marriage, Dating & Single Life' started by horsegal, Jan 8, 2011.

  1. horsegal

    horsegal New Member

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    I may have fallen head over heels for a fantastic man, who happens to be Deaf. He went out once with me, along with a group of friends who all sign, it was his first time being out with hearing folks. I don't know if he'd even be INTERESTED in me.. I don't sign fluently but I am practicing every day to become better. Anyway.
    I want to ask him to go to a movie with me -- I've heard the RW captions can be a pain, and the only two movies I've found with open captions are Yogi Bear and Little Fockers. Has anyone seen either of these? Are they any good? Or are the RW captions not that bad? I mean, honestly I just want an excuse to be with him, and a movie is a good excuse to be right beside him for an hour or 2. ;) Otherwise, does anyone have any other good date ideas for a chilly winter day?
     
  2. ember

    ember New Member

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    Mmm I don't know maybe its just me but a movie may not be the best idea for a first date. You are just sitting beside him and not really communicating. Maybe you guys could go to a museum that way you will have something to talk about if either of you are to nervous to come up with something to talk about. :dunno:
     
  3. TWA

    TWA New Member Premium Member

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    x2 Movies are not a good first date.

    On a side note though, it really doesn't matter what movie you go see on a date. It's the experience of being there with someone that is important. Even if the movie is terrible, corny, childish, etc, you can always talk about it and laugh together afterward. Something light and silly like Yogi Bear or Little Fockers would be just fine. :)

    edit: sorry, let me offer you a good date idea: Go get coffee or tea together. Don't go to a place like Starbuck's or Peet's. Find a small, local, cozy place. You know; the kind that has plush couches and pillows--a place that is just inviting it's customers to sit and relax for hours on end.

    Have yourself a nice little cup of something warm. Go during the day. Very low pressure. Great for conversing. Have fun!
     
  4. ember

    ember New Member

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    Now that sounds like an amazing first date :gpost:
     
  5. cool scary guy

    cool scary guy New Member

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    I like movies for 1st dates, you don't feel the need to always be saying something.
     
  6. ember

    ember New Member

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    I am all for comfortable silence, but not on a first date thats the time when you are suppose to be getting to know each other and finding out if you even want to see that person again, you can't do that in a movie
     
  7. radioman

    radioman farming for love! Premium Member

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    I agree with going to the movies. Heck if a hearing girl liked me and wanted to go out and invited me to the movies, I'd go!!!! I think it's perfectly fine as first date. If the movie end is not too late, going for coffee is a good idea like write Alex said. He does bring up a good point- a better place like panera bread or similar is good. Food after a movie is always good- well at least in my book it is. It a way of getting to know you.
    One thing to say tho, when you asked us if we seen the movies or not, hearing people is a place to ask too. It just happened to be captioned that week. If you don't like the movie choices, wait another week:cool2:
     
  8. lanapoo

    lanapoo New Member

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    Go out where you guys can get to know each other better. Like Alex said, a small cozy coffee shop will do. Movies can come later. Or find something else to do. You can do mini golf or go kart. :)
     
  9. authentic

    authentic Well-Known Member

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    Take him to indoor rock climbing
     
  10. Bottesini

    Bottesini Old Deaf Ranter Premium Member

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    What if he isn't athletic?
     
  11. authentic

    authentic Well-Known Member

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    A big turn off. :D

    He can still participate such as holding the rope while she climb up, and nice check for him. :D
     
  12. Bottesini

    Bottesini Old Deaf Ranter Premium Member

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    :lol:
     
  13. cool scary guy

    cool scary guy New Member

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    how about shopping, then you can use what he looks at to know what he likes
     
  14. lovezebras

    lovezebras New Member

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    i think going to a buffet type lunch is nice..u can strike up convo on what food choices each other makes just in case u get stuck on what to say or coffee is good too..mini golf is fun but if you do that make sure the lighting is ok so he can read your lips ..i hate glow in the dark mini golf for this reason.
     
  15. deafbajagal

    deafbajagal New Member

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    Make-your-own-pottery date was one of my coolest ever...I never dreamed it would be, but it was fun. And sensual. ;)

    If you're both signing, make sure the wet clay doesn't splatter lol...
     
  16. lovezebras

    lovezebras New Member

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    wow bajagal what a great idea! never thought of that
     
  17. Anij

    Anij Well-Known Member

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    What makes a good first date depends on a few things - espeically for us Hoh/Deaf !

    If someone is Hoh/Deaf and uses a HA or CI, then background noise is something that needs to be taken into account - as does lighting.




    Honestly GOOD first dates for Hoh/Deaf are things like:

    -A nice quiet restaurant that isn't too expensive.

    -A museum/Art showing/etc or a Dance performance (with no dialogue) followed by coffee.

    -Bowling (not "glow bowling" or night bowling - bowling with regular good lighting... it's fun, low key and a chance to communicate

    -mini-golf (regular lighting, not "glow" type)

    -Meeting at a nice cafe/coffee house with comfy seating.




    Basically things that allow you to COMMUNICATE with each other and get to know each other at bit.




    Examples of a bad first date for someone who's Hoh/Deaf

    -The movies
    (even with RWC ... you can't communicate at ALL in a dark theatre... so you walk into the movie as "strangers" and you walk out of the theatre 3hours later as strangers too.... movies are good HEARING first dates - but they're lousy for Hoh/Deaf)

    -Restaurants that are dimly lit (makes speechreading &/or signing difficult and strains the eyes

    -Loud places ( if they use HA or CI)... it makes communication very difficult, unless you are both going to sign or write back and forth the entire time.

    -Glow bowling, glow min-golf, dark anything ... if it's not well lit, it's going to be very frustrating to communicate


    Honestly - I'd recommend asking THEM (the Hoh/Deaf person where they would like to go for a first date) this allows them to chose a place that will meet their communication needs etc. Just make sure that it's a public location (not at their/your house for example).
     
  18. rebeccalj

    rebeccalj New Member

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    I don't know where you live but movies, uh, no.:giggle: Not for a first date with a deafie. Also the rock climbing is a good idea but hard to sign while hanging on for your life. :giggle:

    For me? I would love nothing more than grabbing a nice warm blanket, a couple of beers and driving up to a mountain lookout to watch the sunset. It's quiet. The scenery invokes, how do you say, arousing feelings, sensual feelings. It allows you privacy to get to know each other. Plus it's casual, not expensive and a little more intimate.

    PS: Be sure to pack and pen and paper if you decide to do this so that you can write if the sign isn't working for the two of you. He'll be impressed that *you* came prepared.
     
  19. Anij

    Anij Well-Known Member

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    ummm - except if the guy turns out to be "cute, but dangerous" ... then you're alone with him without any public/witnesses etc.

    I think it would be a great date - just once you know for sure he's "safe" etc ... like after a few months of really getting to know him.

    I also wouldn't want either person to feel like their were being pressured into an overly intimate situation -especially if communication isn't clear ... that's where "non-consensual" intimate activities etc.


    Great idea though - once you really really know and trust the person though!





    Safe dating 101 - always make a first (and second) date in a public location - in case the
    "guy of your dreams" turns into the "guy of your nightmares" and you need to get away, fast.
     
  20. rebeccalj

    rebeccalj New Member

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    I get impression for our horesgal that she'd like to be *really* alone with him. :giggle:

    But, you are right. If you do not know well enough best not to be too remote.
     

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