Curious. willing to date hearing or just stick with deaf?

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BigHeart4U

Guest
Let's share this discussion and see what everyone says.

I will start off answering the question. It does not matter to me as long as she has two main parts that are most important (I have many "requirements") but those two are focused: the heart and how she handle with someone like me.

I prefer to look into the heart to see if that person is good and truly loves me for who I am. And I do likewise. Also I see in her heart, her faith in God. I know there are people of different faiths and beliefs that they are comfortable at. I am merely speaking about general information.

The second part is how she handle me. OK, say, she is Hearing and she and I fall in love and she realize she is in a relationship with a Deaf man and she would have to adjust and if she already knows ASL, it would be nice she does understand me and my beliefs, my faith, my culture.

Those two are very important to me. Now, what about you?
 

Moondancer

Well-Known Member
i had an experience to date with the hearing person and didn't work out. DEAF is my preferable because of communicate in sign language is much easier than else.
 

DeafDucky

Well-Known Member
Preferably deaf but.. hey if a hearing person and I do click... why not. How we communicate though and the efforts that go into it is something that may or may not break the relationship. And.. that goes for both deaf and hearing!
 

MiyaMia

New Member
I'm hearing and at this stage of my life (and asl development) I'd like to date a deaf person.
Why? Not only am I a very caring person and passionate about the end of audism, but I would
be entering the relationship understanding that, yes- it's full time signing, and that I will be the interpreter when we go out and
hey, people will be staring. I also understand Deaf culture and I would totally be open to it (living it, being surrounded by it)
As someone who believes that the hearing world and deaf world should coexist comfortably, it would be the total opposite of my beliefs to not
be open to a deaf/hearing relationship- Marriage even ( I'd like to go all the way).
Of course, like you BigHeart4U, there are standards. Like there should be for every person, but as long as the person is heart-led and honest, has a strong identity and sense of self, does not victimize their situations, but has the confidence to love life and let themselves live... I'd be undoubtedly willing. BC it's not about their hearing ability, it's about their love ability. I find that deaf people are more in-tuned with their intuition and more "hands on" individuals- that's more up my ally. Therefore, I can appreciate them. I can't be the only hearing person who feels this way either.
It makes me a little sad when deaf people shut out the possibility of dating a hearing person, but to each his own and it's their own experiences that push them away or pull them towards less or more in life. Then again, I can understand how deaf people like to stay in their element.
As a hearing person who will soon be immersed in the deaf world- I like to be uncomfortable. It makes me stronger, I can see growth in myself.
Not everyone is like this and I'm okay with that, but it's great food for thought.

I hope no one minds the novel-paragraph lol - I thought this answer should be throughout :)
Thanks for taking the time to read it :bye:
MiyaMiaaaa
 

DeafNerdMommy

Well-Known Member
I like a deaf/hoh person because they won't get to mad when I don't hear them or using asl. But my husband is Hoh raised hearing so he does get frustrated some times
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
Hubby is hearing and fluent in ASL. If he wasnt fluent in ASL, then nope I wouldnt date him. I did date different deaf guys after my divorce..none of them worked out and then I met my hubby. He treated me like a queen and I was hooked!
 
B

BigHeart4U

Guest
I'm hearing and at this stage of my life (and asl development) I'd like to date a deaf person.
Why? Not only am I a very caring person and passionate about the end of audism, but I would
be entering the relationship understanding that, yes- it's full time signing, and that I will be the interpreter when we go out and
hey, people will be staring. I also understand Deaf culture and I would totally be open to it (living it, being surrounded by it)
As someone who believes that the hearing world and deaf world should coexist comfortably, it would be the total opposite of my beliefs to not
be open to a deaf/hearing relationship- Marriage even ( I'd like to go all the way).
Of course, like you BigHeart4U, there are standards. Like there should be for every person, but as long as the person is heart-led and honest, has a strong identity and sense of self, does not victimize their situations, but has the confidence to love life and let themselves live... I'd be undoubtedly willing. BC it's not about their hearing ability, it's about their love ability. I find that deaf people are more in-tuned with their intuition and more "hands on" individuals- that's more up my ally. Therefore, I can appreciate them. I can't be the only hearing person who feels this way either.
It makes me a little sad when deaf people shut out the possibility of dating a hearing person, but to each his own and it's their own experiences that push them away or pull them towards less or more in life. Then again, I can understand how deaf people like to stay in their element.
As a hearing person who will soon be immersed in the deaf world- I like to be uncomfortable. It makes me stronger, I can see growth in myself.
Not everyone is like this and I'm okay with that, but it's great food for thought.

I hope no one minds the novel-paragraph lol - I thought this answer should be throughout :)
Thanks for taking the time to read it :bye:
MiyaMiaaaa
MiyaMia, wow, very impressive answer from you! I agree with you. To be an interpreter, great you are getting into Deaf world. I knew many interpreters married Deaf people. That is because they adjusted themselves to be on equally yoked with the other. From what I see on here that Deaf tend to prefer Deaf. I understand because they... well, Not want to bring up controversy but I am well known to bring up controversies. And I get rejection from the Deaf community. Its a fact.

But they need to see the heart! Often people (generally!) look at others and judge by the cover of the book. Wrong thing to do. Thanks to Hollywood for messing that up.

Communication is important vital as part of relationship and marriage. I believe in two kinds of Communications that many times people did not realize thanks to the Deaf Community. Ok, let me explain Communication. 1. People talking to each other, period. A person talking back and forth with another. OK, we all got that part quite often.

The other part I am sure you are getting there like with many Deaf people say: prefer someone with ASL. That is called method of communication. Two parties talk to each other with same language.

I should add third meaning. Like equally yoked. This word Communication has a meaning that both parties has to be equally yoked. Having grown up as HOH. I am very verbalism than signer. If we were to talk and you are hearing. You will see I will be talking by voice to you. Anyway, my point on third part is where all Deaf people will say I am correct: both parties have to be the exact same LEVEL of communication skills.

Let me tell ya example from my experience: I had a relationship with a profounded Deaf woman whose level of ASL was quite very difficult for me! Yeah. I am more of PSE than ASL signer. And sometimes I use big words. And this Deaf woman had hard time understanding me as I to her. We broke up because of language barrier. Yup! Shocking! Both of us can sign but we were different. I tried to interpret for her at Burger King one time and oh!! She said I said order wrong. She explained stuff but no words for what she did not want on her burger! Wow, I had hard time with that. I am quite intellect and yet.. you know.

I said too much here too! Thanking for liking my post elsewhere.

About "hands-on" You are spot on. Like with educational training in schools. I understood clearly that the Deaf had more difficulties in arm-chair education and many prefer real full-time vocational training but it would not be fair that the Deaf would not earn more compared to college education. That is why I am even pushing more for hands-on education in colleges than arm-chair. I even wrote my own dissertation theory about it. It is published elsewhere on the net. Now when it comes to dating, I did not see much of hands-on in comparison with hearing. It is pretty much the same. I would love a day to talk with you all about it in person. Hahaha. Please feel free to contact me directly and we can pick up from here and talk about things like this.
 
B

BigHeart4U

Guest
Hubby is hearing and fluent in ASL. If he wasnt fluent in ASL, then nope I wouldnt date him. I did date different deaf guys after my divorce..none of them worked out and then I met my hubby. He treated me like a queen and I was hooked!
Wow! I never expect this kind of answer and this is great! I am glad you wrote this because maybe Deaf people should also open their minds and allow hearing people with signs and they will be treated like queens or kings.

That is awesome! Good one! :)
 
B

BigHeart4U

Guest
I like a deaf/hoh person because they won't get to mad when I don't hear them or using asl. But my husband is Hoh raised hearing so he does get frustrated some times
I understand because I was born HOH and lost more hearing in 2004 and I get bit more frustrated as well. It is not what we wanted to be but due to health situations for many of us, adjustment is much harder because of feeling rejecting the idea of becoming Deaf or whatever situation others have faced such as brain injury, illnesses, or any trauma they faced. Trauma is quite an impact on everyone.

With yours, I believe his difficulties is because of his hearing loss. Like me from HOH to Deaf. And is it his habit of wanting to talk and not sign? I am more of using my voice than signs and I am profoundly Deaf and I still do. hmm.
 

DeafNerdMommy

Well-Known Member
I understand because I was born HOH and lost more hearing in 2004 and I get bit more frustrated as well. It is not what we wanted to be but due to health situations for many of us, adjustment is much harder because of feeling rejecting the idea of becoming Deaf or whatever situation others have faced such as brain injury, illnesses, or any trauma they faced. Trauma is quite an impact on everyone.

With yours, I believe his difficulties is because of his hearing loss. Like me from HOH to Deaf. And is it his habit of wanting to talk and not sign? I am more of using my voice than signs and I am profoundly Deaf and I still do. hmm.
I am also profoundly deaf but still use my voice. My husbands problem is that he has never used sign 100% so he gets frustrated when he can't call to me from another room. Or when I say say something and he didn't hear it. I think it was just different for him to not only see that he has more hearing loss than he would like and that he now has to sign more with me. When we first meet I had only mild hearing loss.
 

MiyaMia

New Member
I like a deaf/hoh person because they won't get to mad when I don't hear them or using asl. But my husband is Hoh raised hearing so he does get frustrated some times
Oh, wow. I thought it would different.. I can imagine it really depends on the persons patience and understanding.
 

MiyaMia

New Member
I am also profoundly deaf but still use my voice. My husbands problem is that he has never used sign 100% so he gets frustrated when he can't call to me from another room. Or when I say say something and he didn't hear it. I think it was just different for him to not only see that he has more hearing loss than he would like and that he now has to sign more with me. When we first meet I had only mild hearing loss.
I just read this part.. Wow. Okay, I understand now.
 

MiyaMia

New Member
MiyaMia, wow, very impressive answer from you! I agree with you. To be an interpreter, great you are getting into Deaf world. I knew many interpreters married Deaf people. That is because they adjusted themselves to be on equally yoked with the other. From what I see on here that Deaf tend to prefer Deaf. I understand because they... well, Not want to bring up controversy but I am well known to bring up controversies. And I get rejection from the Deaf community. Its a fact.

But they need to see the heart! Often people (generally!) look at others and judge by the cover of the book. Wrong thing to do. Thanks to Hollywood for messing that up.

Communication is important vital as part of relationship and marriage. I believe in two kinds of Communications that many times people did not realize thanks to the Deaf Community. Ok, let me explain Communication. 1. People talking to each other, period. A person talking back and forth with another. OK, we all got that part quite often.

The other part I am sure you are getting there like with many Deaf people say: prefer someone with ASL. That is called method of communication. Two parties talk to each other with same language.

I should add third meaning. Like equally yoked. This word Communication has a meaning that both parties has to be equally yoked. Having grown up as HOH. I am very verbalism than signer. If we were to talk and you are hearing. You will see I will be talking by voice to you. Anyway, my point on third part is where all Deaf people will say I am correct: both parties have to be the exact same LEVEL of communication skills.

Let me tell ya example from my experience: I had a relationship with a profounded Deaf woman whose level of ASL was quite very difficult for me! Yeah. I am more of PSE than ASL signer. And sometimes I use big words. And this Deaf woman had hard time understanding me as I to her. We broke up because of language barrier. Yup! Shocking! Both of us can sign but we were different. I tried to interpret for her at Burger King one time and oh!! She said I said order wrong. She explained stuff but no words for what she did not want on her burger! Wow, I had hard time with that. I am quite intellect and yet.. you know.

I said too much here too! Thanking for liking my post elsewhere.

About "hands-on" You are spot on. Like with educational training in schools. I understood clearly that the Deaf had more difficulties in arm-chair education and many prefer real full-time vocational training but it would not be fair that the Deaf would not earn more compared to college education. That is why I am even pushing more for hands-on education in colleges than arm-chair. I even wrote my own dissertation theory about it. It is published elsewhere on the net. Now when it comes to dating, I did not see much of hands-on in comparison with hearing. It is pretty much the same. I would love a day to talk with you all about it in person. Hahaha. Please feel free to contact me directly and we can pick up from here and talk about things like this.

Yes, meeting up in person would be cool. Definitely an experience!
I loved the points you made and when it comes to communication- All the above apply. It's true. Deaf people should be more open and realize that there are hearing people who are adaptable. When they realize or are exposed to that, as you have been, they'd speak differently. Not saying that it's a "horrible" fact that they haven't, it's life. I'm just looking forward to a world where that exist. It's comforting to know there's at least one out there.. maybe two and I'm saying that based on the results of this particular forum post.
Thanks, BigHeart4U :)))

MiyaMiaaa
 
B

BigHeart4U

Guest
Yes, meeting up in person would be cool. Definitely an experience!
I loved the points you made and when it comes to communication- All the above apply. It's true. Deaf people should be more open and realize that there are hearing people who are adaptable. When they realize or are exposed to that, as you have been, they'd speak differently. Not saying that it's a "horrible" fact that they haven't, it's life. I'm just looking forward to a world where that exist. It's comforting to know there's at least one out there.. maybe two and I'm saying that based on the results of this particular forum post.
Thanks, BigHeart4U :)))

MiyaMiaaa
MiyaMia, yes it is quite different. Deaf people should be open minded although many ARE open minded in many other ways. Good! If you ever happen to come by in my town, please contact me privately and we will go from there! Show you where they are in my hometown. One thing to let you know that it is very cliche. I noticed that in each town, quite different.

You are very welcome, MiyaMia! :)
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
Wow! I never expect this kind of answer and this is great! I am glad you wrote this because maybe Deaf people should also open their minds and allow hearing people with signs and they will be treated like queens or kings.

That is awesome! Good one! :)
Married for 11 years now and still going strong. :)
 
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