break up advice

SkullChick

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well my engagement ended 10 days ago and we were together for almost 5 years and my relationship before him was my first real bf and it wasnt good relationship (hes controlling) so I was in relationship for 7 years now and I dont know how to be single and it makes me depressed, nauseous and scared that my ex fiance isnt mine anymore and I dont want to let him go and I have to live with him until I get job and find apt I can afford which will be few months and I'm almost always sad and nauseous that its over and I dont know how to recover and be happy again in fact I dont think I'm capable of being happy and I dont want anyone and I dont even find anybody attractive in years and my future seem like giant empty void that I have no reason for living anymore help me get through this people say it get better with time but its not
 

Beowulf

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
I am glad you are dealing with it simply by talking about it. Now, what's the next step? You need to talk with someone you trust about this. Have you seen a counselor/therapist? You would be pleasantly surprised at how much it helps. Hang in there!
 

rockin'robin

Well-Known Member
Very sorry to hear about this....Breaking up is hard to do...

Don't take your love away from me
Don't you leave my heart in misery
If you go then I'll be blue
'Cause breaking up his hard to do

Remember when you held me tight
And you kissed me all through the night
Think of all that we've been through
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now I know, I know that it's true
Don't say that this is the end
Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making up again

I beg of you, don't say goodbye
Can't we give our love another try
Come on baby, let's start a new
'Cause breaking up is hard to do

Hopefully, things will get better for you, so hang in there...see ur friends and family as often as you can, and keep super busy....taking ur mind off of this depressiong situation. Good Luck!
 

SkullChick

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thats the prob, I dont have anyone I can trust and my family and friends is in oregon and I live in delaware and will have to for 4 more years (just started college ugh after long battle with DVR to get in college and dont want to move and start all over again with dvr crap)
 

posts from hell

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thats the prob, I dont have anyone I can trust and my family and friends is in oregon and I live in delaware and will have to for 4 more years (just started college ugh after long battle with DVR to get in college and dont want to move and start all over again with dvr crap)
I'm curious - why don't you have anyone to trust?

How long have you been in Delaware?
 

SkullChick

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because nobody shown me that they're worthy of trusting they always tell someone else or lie about something to me or about me. I lived here since feb 2007. I moved out because my family werent allowing me to see my friends, get driver permit let alone license and car, go college or anything and my ex lives in delaware so I called cops to help me get out of house and onto airplane to fly out here
 

SkullChick

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in fact I still havent told anyone in family or friends (just two that know me knew so far) that I'm single out of extreme fear of getting kidnapped back to oregon and rip my future of being graduate student and independence away
 

SkullChick

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its associate degree but will takes me 4 years to get it (histotecnician) I've fought with DVR since I was 17 and I'm almost 24 and finally worked it out to attend freaking college I cant even imagine doing this again if I just give up all my work to get in college in order to move back to oregon and the risk of my family ruining my life is very high
 

posts from hell

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its associate degree but will takes me 4 years to get it (histotecnician) I've fought with DVR since I was 17 and I'm almost 24 and finally worked it out to attend freaking college I cant even imagine doing this again if I just give up all my work to get in college in order to move back to oregon and the risk of my family ruining my life is very high
ok. is it a school with dorms?
 

Beowulf

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
You can't do it alone. Do you have a job? I ask because your college probably has students looking for roommates.
 

rebeccalj

New Member
I'm very sorry for you that you are going through this. :hug:

Whatever you do *don't* give up on your education for anyone. It will provide you with the independence that you seem to crave desperately. Don't let anyone take that from you.

Of course you will be sad right now. You can't love someone for 5 years and then expect the feelings to just be gone overnight even if you both have decided to end the relationship; especially an engagement.

I once read that it take a month for every year that you were together to mourn the loss of a relationship. If that's true you have a little ways to go but allow yourself the chance to go *through* it. Mourn it. Experience the rollercoaster of highs and lows and, one day, you will wake up, and the sun will be shining, and you will know that you are ready to love again.
 

SkullChick

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Its hard to believe things will be better and good because when it come to time to announce the end of engagement I will have to go through this crap with my family and may have to involves police on it again. My parents have severe mental illness and delusional beliefs that if I'm ever alone I'll get raped and murdered and no way a deaf female can be independent and alone and they have had threatened to kidnap me back to oregon and cut off even more connection to real world first year I lived in delaware and when my ex family got involved they threatened to come over and kill everyone and take me when I had police get involved and took them 3 years to leave me alone and now of course break up had to happen now and deal with it again when I tell them UGH no way my life will be good again
 

SkullChick

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I cant cut off connection with family because my dad's dying from many different diseases and my mom got diagnosed with brain tumor
 

Beowulf

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Premium Member
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Its hard to believe things will be better and good because when it come to time to announce the end of engagement I will have to go through this crap with my family and may have to involves police on it again. My parents have severe mental illness and delusional beliefs that if I'm ever alone I'll get raped and murdered and no way a deaf female can be independent and alone and they have had threatened to kidnap me back to oregon and cut off even more connection to real world first year I lived in delaware and when my ex family got involved they threatened to come over and kill everyone and take me when I had police get involved and took them 3 years to leave me alone and now of course break up had to happen now and deal with it again when I tell them UGH no way my life will be good again
I am sure your college has a counselor. Just go see her and talk with her. I am sure she has seen your same situation more times than you realize. She may find you a place to stay. The simple fact you are discussing it in here is a great first step: it means you are dealing with it. Good luck and hang in there!
 

CSign

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I cant cut off connection with family because my dad's dying from many different diseases and my mom got diagnosed with brain tumor
That's incredibly tough. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope they stay as pain free as possible and have a good quality of life.

You'll get through this. It's a transition and transitions are always difficult. Just stay focused on school, and keep your head up.
 

LuciaDisturbed

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Its hard to believe things will be better and good because when it come to time to announce the end of engagement I will have to go through this crap with my family and may have to involves police on it again. My parents have severe mental illness and delusional beliefs that if I'm ever alone I'll get raped and murdered and no way a deaf female can be independent and alone and they have had threatened to kidnap me back to oregon and cut off even more connection to real world first year I lived in delaware and when my ex family got involved they threatened to come over and kill everyone and take me when I had police get involved and took them 3 years to leave me alone and now of course break up had to happen now and deal with it again when I tell them UGH no way my life will be good again
Why don't you get a restraining order on your parents so they can't do that to you anymore? I understand how that is for you. My parents are insane too and I cut off contact with them 3 years ago. I'm much happier ever since.
 
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