Barfight

brotheryellow

New Member
I had another misunderstanding in Hearing Dominant Culture. They assume my nonverbal means wrong thing. Im trying to communicate, but they use my methodologies against me. Here is the story. Have you almost gotten in a barfight because someone assumed something wrong based on you being Deaf?:shock:
 

Bottesini

Old Deaf Ranter
Premium Member
← Questionnaire of My Deafness and How I Define Myself Within Deaf Culture
****ing Guy At Bar Says…
Posted on June 22, 2014 by David Jonsson


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BarFightI’m watching Blackhawks hockey game and this guy at bar says, “That’s what I said!” because I said or somehow responded wrong. He was L.A. Kings fan and I was nodding in acknowledgement, not agreement (again, like Misunderstanding At Coffeeshop). What is wrong with people? They assume my nonverbal is an affirmation of their position rather than acknowledgement of interaction. I have not yet made judgment of agreeability to the statement. I am only nodding because I’m aware, not agree. Apparently, Hearies expect stillness from me until they are done blabbin’ their yakjaws about with whatever their position or opinion is and done stating it. **** off. I’m processing with I process, and I communicate what I communicate when I want to give info acknowledging interaction- shouldn’t that be appreciated? To know that I’m aware?

I guess Hearies assume I hear and don’t want any nonverbal communication from me that would misinform or befuddle their assumptions about what they expect based on Hearing methodology of communication, which I am not completely privy to. They interpret visual cues within their minimal nonverbal vocabulary. I should remember their limitations and dumb down my nonverbal output for them, so as not to confuse them. They are disabled. Not me. **** your poker face, stiff neck, and suit and tie. Staring me down like I’m an object supposed to respond to your soundwave projections. You are so boring to look at. **** you for misreading my nonverbal. You ignorant ****ing Audist Hearie. What, you can insult Deaf but I can’t insult you? I’m neither anyway! So **** all. Maybe Hard of Hearing is more like bisexual, interracial, or whatever third category. Its a spectrum.

Audist Hearies presume my submission and compliance as if my response was an indication that Im asking “how high” when you say “jump”? No. Im just letting you know I recognize that you are attempting, in your limited way, to communicate with me. Unfortunately ignorant, due to Audism, their common refrain is, “But I didn’t say anything!” When you know damn well over half of communication is nonverbal. The attitude that Deaf should do speech therapy and lipread and wear hearing devices is derived from Oralism, Audism, colonialism, evangelism, monoculture, monolingualism, ethnocentrism, and privilege. Language and communication is two-way street. I feel that the Deaf have long strived to meet more that halfway.
Wow... :ugh:
 

goodonya

Well-Known Member
Somehow you need to spend more time with people. Maybe on here is a nice way.
Just being in a bar is an almost barfight. Unless you know the bartender and/or leave enough tips and camaraderie to smooth your way then it is just not the place to be hard of hearing or deaf. I can list all the reasons, but why? It should be self evident.

In a way not hearing in the bigger world is a social disaster right off the git.
It would be nice if people adjusted knowledgeably and smoothly with grace and style to you. Most of the time that depends on how much you help them. This is an is what it is kind of thing. You can go around pissed off about it but it will just make it worse.

It takes effort and some humility to develop social skills you don't have. Interacting with people is a learning experience from birth till death and you are not alone. I know when I leave the house to deal with people there will be instances where things don't go quite right. It goes with the territory. Having a good and real smile is probably the best tool in your kit right off. Use it often. Hell use it all the time. Enjoying living is tactical.
 

drphil

Active Member
Is the above "interaction" a consequence of "deaf entrocentrism"? Not sure how "colonialism/evangelism/monoculture" "fits into social interactions"?

Perhaps a reflection on Trappist monks-silence-might make such social interaction -less confrontational?

Perhaps it is "interesting" that other "deaf persons" don't appear to key comments in similar manner here in AllDeaf.com?
 
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VacationGuy234

Active Member
Bad people + sporting event + alcohol = fight

Write this on the back of your hand.

What would make you equate a bar serving alcohol to sports fans with a coffee shop?

It's tragic when bad people happen to good beer.
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
There was a near bar fight between two deaf men at a bar on Friday's happy hour.
 

Bebonang

Active Member
There was a near bar fight between two deaf men at a bar on Friday's happy hour.
Very rarely do Deaf men or Deaf women get into a barfight after too much to drink and not knowing what they were doing. I had not seen them get involved like that when I was in the bars with d/Deaf people years ago. Interesting, Shelly. :shock:
 

VacationGuy234

Active Member
Very rarely do Deaf men or Deaf women get into a barfight after too much to drink and not knowing what they were doing. I had not seen them get involved like that when I was in the bars with d/Deaf people years ago. Interesting, Shelly. :shock:
I have, deaf people are no different than hearing people. I've seen them get into fights with hearing people and deaf people.

And, a lot of deaf/Deaf seem to complain that hearing people don't treat them well. Add to that some alcohol and see what you get.
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
Yeah I've had drunk hearing people in bars come up to me and start fake signing. All I do is roll my eyes at them. Not going to engage in a fight. Whether they remember the next day their stupid behavior, I don't know.
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
Very rarely do Deaf men or Deaf women get into a barfight after too much to drink and not knowing what they were doing. I had not seen them get involved like that when I was in the bars with d/Deaf people years ago. Interesting, Shelly. :shock:
One of my friends has a tendency to get mean to people when drinking and another deaf guy who is new to the group doesn't know him well took it personally when my friend got mean to him. He was also drunk and was arguing with him. Both got heated up and several of us had to keep pulling them away from each other. *sighs*

My husband doesn't like that one friend of mine because he becomes an asshole every time he drinks so he is not welcome in my house anymore. He also almost got into a fight with my husband a few years ago.
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
Very rarely do Deaf men or Deaf women get into a barfight after too much to drink and not knowing what they were doing. I had not seen them get involved like that when I was in the bars with d/Deaf people years ago. Interesting, Shelly. :shock:
Deaf people do get into a barfight after they drink too much ALL THE TIME. It depends on who they are.

If i know who they are, and avoid them when they drink alcohol. I never like to hang out with Deaf people who have tempers when it comes to alcohol.
 
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