Astrology Jokes: The Art of War

Discussion in 'Indoors & Outdoors' started by me_punctured, Mar 21, 2006.

  1. me_punctured

    me_punctured New Member

    Mar 12, 2006
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    Weaknesses in each zodiac sign

    Aries: arrogant, napoleonic, childish, short-tempered, easily bored
    Taurus: stubborn, lazy, overindulgent
    Gemini: gossips, flaky, duplicitous
    Cancer: whiney, emotions wash them away, smothering
    Leo: self-important, egotistical, proud, drama queens, attention whores
    Virgo: controlling, hypercritical, anal, neat freaks, perfectionists
    Libra: co-dependent, weak-willed, manipulative, confused, vain
    Scorpio: unforgiving, vengeful, secretive, liars, prone to violence
    Sagittarius: undependable, flaky, flighty, commitment-phobes, escapists
    Capricorn: controlling, cold-hearted, uncaring, boring, work-alcoholics
    Aquarius: weird, aloof assholes, know-it-alls, freaks, needs company
    Pisces: overly romantic, naive, flakes, alcoholics and drug abusers, wimps

    Ways to devastate them

    Aries: Never do what they want, never let them speak their mind. Convince them they're wrong, so no one takes them seriously.
    Taurus: Change everything around them, keep things in constant flux. Don't let them buy brand name items or eat at expensive restaurants, and make them exercise a lot.
    Gemini: REFUSE to be their "friend", don't talk to them. Don't even give them a chance to talk on radio or television.
    Cancer: Make off-handed remarks intended for them to take personally, hurt their feelings, don't apologize and refuse to validate their feelings. Kill their family.
    Leo: Publicly humiliate them, refuse to play into their drama and walk away from them. Don't give them the time of the day. Isolate them in a room.
    Virgo: Keep everything in disarray, constantly change the way things are done, don't let them do things "their way". Mess up their living space.
    Libra: Refuse to cooperate with them, but at the same time, don't make any decisions on anything. Let them drift between indecision and isolation. Take away their beauty care products.
    Scorpio: Publicly expose their secret plans, refuse to listen to their problems, negate their emotional reactions.
    Sagittarius: Put them in a "cage," take away their freedoms and don't let them think outside the box. Don't allow them to leave their company or partner, ever.
    Capricorn: Work them to the bone, don't compliment them, refuse to compensate them for it and then fire them. Then post a public announcement about how incompetent they are. Liquidate their estate too.
    Aquarius: Prove them wrong in a public forum, make them do things YOUR way, ignore their ideas or even better ridicule them. Take away their books and lock them in a room alone.
    Pisces: Show them how fun Acid can be, then start an argument with them while they are in the middle of their trip. Emotionally devastate them, then force them to work while they are in the middle of their emotional tidal wave. Or give them alcohol and let nature take its course.

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