As a child

SilenceGold

Active Member
Originally posted by ~Heather~
Yeah, I always been left out and I don't see the point of going for family gathering or whatever...I rather not to go. Last summer of 2002, there was family reunion, my dad wanted me to go but I :thumbd:, told him that I ain't coming. Im just sick of being left out all the time, tap their shoulders ask them what they all are talking about and all... :roll: so fuck it... :ugh:
I turned out the same as you. I just don't go out to the family get-together types anymore. I just avoid them anyways.

They ask annoying questions asking, "Why didn't you come?"

I just say, "I don't feel belonged..no one talks to me.." They say, "Yes we did talk to you some."
 

ChelEler

New Member
I'm with you all! I often feel left out in a family reunion. Good thing that my husband's deaf, so I can keep myself busy by talking to him directly. Our boys keep us busy too. We pay more attention to them than to these hearing family members of ours.
 

~Heather~

New Member
Originally posted by SilenceGold
I turned out the same as you. I just don't go out to the family get-together types anymore. I just avoid them anyways.

They ask annoying questions asking, "Why didn't you come?"

I just say, "I don't feel belonged..no one talks to me.." They say, "Yes we did talk to you some."
Oh yeah same here...they just don't get it...They'd tell me, you need to talk to them more and they will talk to you -- I've done that but doesn't work, they still left me out. Ah, forget it!
 

Fly Free

New Member
yea ive been told that too Heather -- "go socialize and be nice" and ive done exactly that and it still accomplishes nothing :roll:
 

bbnt

King of all I see
Premium Member
I thank all of you that responded so far. Your comments will be most useful when I run into parents with deaf kids I often do}. I will also be showing this to my daughters mom and that side of the family.
 

ShEiLdTaLiSmAn

New Member
Thats great idea, bbnt. :) Thats really caring parent u are... believe it or not, ur way great! :) Brittany must be REAL lucky to have u in her life. :)

As for my life... I guess its normal to complain. Everyday, more likely... I complain... what are u saying? Huh?! What?! Hello!! *that usually works. ROFL* or I'll say I'M HEREEEEE!!!! Shouting...Boy, do they hate that?! Hello and I'M HERE!! usually works. So I used that more often. Sometimes I just look at them like huh face...they did it on their own and tells me whatever is being talked about. If they dont pay any attention.. I usually shout those words. Few years back before I met few people.. I usually stays in my bedroom and watch tv. How fun! I just ignore EVERYTHING that is happening outside of my room. I'll only walk out of that room is to go to school, eat or go bathroom..and of course, normal stuff outside of the bathroom. But WILL not socialize others. They actually leave me alone. Thought I was happy. RME yahhh right ! I was dead bored. Learning shit from TV. (As I can remember, I seen disney channel and seen movies over and over.)

Then few people came in my life.. it slightly change. I stay in my bedroom STILL and complain. They dont bother me at all if I stay in my bedroom. So sometimes I'll sit in the kitchen. So whenever anyone comes by.. I bother them. They get sick of it as I can see. I finally went back into my bedroom. After while.. I turn 18. I was NEVER HOME! I am dead serious. :) NEVER home. Always with friends or whatever...then have place to sleep back home.

Then I met Dan...had child with him. I put my world into him. He was special to me because he saw what I had explained. Seeing that I've been left out alot in my family and u know what...whenever hes around... they explain to me whatever being talked about or I catch it easily. (HINT HINT: I know everything about Dan ... so whatever being talked about.. I just reconized what it being said on the table.) Sometimes I join in and sometimes I just fed up... silently and eat. Dan reconized (amazing! but its nice) he'll explain to me anyway. :)

So I guess anywhere I go.. I'll have this problem just like rest of you. EXPECT us going to deaf "world" where we can understand everything and ignore the hearing people. As for me... I dont really belong both worlds. I'm sorry to say that because almost everyone pushes me out. Now I'm out of hearing world. Deaf world.. I'll say 50/50. Its sucks big time not be able to be part of something. Right now its just me and my daughter. Signing to her, talking to her and have her learn whatever I know.

It really sucks to be a mom at young age but I love Leila, my daughter. :) Cant socialize with another deaf and do things at the same time. Also for hearing person... they just... I dont know.. I'll say from what u guys mostly complain about. They're ANNOYED by me. Hey, got to have something out of my chest, ya know?! ;) Hope that'll help... bbnt. :)
 

VamPyroX

bloody phreak from hell
I communicated a lot with my parents when I was a child. I was always oral with my family, never signed. I did help them a bit with some signs but always ended up talking instead. When I'm out of the house, it depends on who I am with. If it's hearing people, I talk. If it's deaf people, I sign. Communication wasn't really difficult for me. Sometimes, I might ask them to repeat... other than that, I did just fine.
 

CatoCooper13

New Member
Originally posted by OldNavyGirl
my mom knows more signs than my dad does. but since growing up, i speak, and signs, depend on how they and I talk. most of times we don't talk a lot though. just when we need to know something or whatever.
Same with my Mum -- she went on to learn SEE and became an interpreter for SEE only...and my father only knew a handful of signs, mainly talked. Both my sister and I didn't mind because we could talk and lip read AND sign as well. :)
Now Mum's struggling in learning ASL, heheh!
 

Pretty Woman

New Member
I grew up in a family who demands to speak. No signing was allowed in the house. My mother was afraid I would be backstabbing her right in front of her face and she wouldn't even know. But then when I started bringing friends over who do sign, she got used to it. till I had my very first deaf boyfriend (whom I'm going to be married to). My mother fell in love with him and wanted to learn sign. We taught her and taught her, she just kept forgeting and forgeting, so we gave up. *shrugs*
 

DeafSCUBA98

Active Member
instering stories that you all have... some are same as mine..

as for me, i become hard of hearing when i was 2 yrs old with menigits.. my mom suddenly decide to learn Sign Language, she even took me, my brother to sign language class so we all can learn. as time goes by, i lose my hearing and become serve hearing loss when i was in my teenage years. I normally speak to my family with voice, they sign to me, almost all of my family (mostly woman) learn basic sign such as my aunts, grandmother, and cousins. but my uncles and grandfather didn't learn... yeah mens are like that huh? but my stepfather and brother is only one who's willing to learn. sometimes i do feel left out. but kindly at dinner time my aunt told me what they're talking about, or grandma told me what they're talking about.. this helps a little.. anyway, still wish they know more signs...
 

linneaelliott

New Member
bbnt said:
How well did you communcate with your family.
For those with deaf parents i'm sure you
communicated pretty well.

Was it difficult? Did your parents make an extra
effort to listen to you? Did yur family keep you
involved in ongoing conversations?

I'm HOH, so my family and I just talk to each other. I didn't learn to sign until 2nd grade. My mom did learn the basics (stop, restroom, shut up). My brother and sister both can fingerspell and know a few basic signs. My mom and sister took an ASL class but they have forgotten a lot of it, since they never use it. My dad has never really learned to sign. When he's with my fiance' (who's deaf) he depends on me to interpret. Sometimes he makes gestures. Now I am a Senior in college and its the same as its been all my life.

About the family gatherings, I still go to them, but I do feel left out. I can't hear very well when there's a lot of other things going on. I just bring my fiance' or another deaf friend with me to keep me company.
 

e

New Member
There's an ironic thing going on between me and my parents. They both knew sign langauge before I was born because I have one of two older sisters who's deaf. My mom became interpreter little while after I was born. Converstaions between her and me was no problem, typical mother-daughter relationship.

Almost everytime there was a family gathering together, my mom almost forgot to interpret for me or difficult to get her to listen the conversations. So, most of time I missed out the converstaions and never become interested being involved with family gathering. I stopped visiting families on holidays after (or a little right before) I got out of HS. I was very sick and tired of being left out. I was holding out my feelings too much and then too much to handle I was crying uncontrollably in front of my family. It was very embarassing! My parents started to realize and finally let me make my own deicison and do whatever is best for me.

There are mixed feelings between hate and guilt. I knew whole time they are my family but I hate sitting there and watching them laughing or shocking. It's always been difficult of wanting to be part of it or not wanting to be. :-/
 

RosesNY

New Member
~Heather~ said:
Yeah, I always been left out and I don't see the point of going for family gathering or whatever...I rather not to go. Last summer of 2002, there was family reunion, my dad wanted me to go but I :thumbd:, told him that I ain't coming. Im just sick of being left out all the time, tap their shoulders ask them what they all are talking about and all... :roll: so fuck it... :ugh:
yea I was like that too.
 

Cheri

Prayers for my dad.
Premium Member
I do felt left out alot during my family gathers... Sometimes I feel that maybe they forget I am around them.. But my hearing sister knows very good asl.. and she would talk to us sometimes... My step mom loves my jokes so she would just sit by the table and listen to my jokes for hours .. we would have a good laughs.
 

Anne

New Member
I avoid family get-togethers because they just seem to talk amongst each other as if I don't exisit and I don't like visiting my father because he never talks to me face to face, he says something and my fiance repeats it to me. Only person who speaks to me face to face and slowly is my grandma. My parents never bothered to learn BSL because they said I wouldn't be using it much...... how WRONG they were!! I learn't BSL at comprehensive school and I still use it :D Even my fiance has taken an interest :D
 
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