Yes get very embarrassed now, never used to, now its like i cant buy back 50 damn years, all "mishaps" seemed to be explained to me, all my fault, , now worse off even more, so even more embarrassed. im not just 'deaf', the world out there the hearies are actually behaviourally 'deaf' !! sigh
Rather than being embarassed, I feel very frustrated and afraid to open up. More often than not, i pretend i understand what others say. I was taught from a young age by my mother to hide the fact that I am HOH, because she thinks I'll get belittled and tells me to hide it from employers if i can. I'm still trying to come to terms with being open about it, but its really going to take a long time before i can. When i tell people im close to, they often tell me they don't know because i hide it pretty well.
I don't really get embarrassed but every once in a while I'll be in a situation that will be a cause for some embarrassment at not being able to hear what's going on and reacting strangely because of it. My personal favorite is when I say "Oh, I'm sorry, I have hearing loss" Or something along those lines and someone responds with "Huh?" The first few times it happened, I genuinely thought I needed to repeat myself. I now realize it was just people being assholes. Even my best friend does it to me.
I've been bully before for having a deaf dad. I remember crying every time I go home from school and have a couple of bruises. At first, I don't understand but as I grow old I care less on what the people around me have to say. My dad is a good man and there's nothing to be ashamed of.
I dropped off my hubby at the hospital for hernia surgery. I couldn't stay in the waiting room because my son was at his school. Anyway, I had errands and picked him up at the school. I went back to the hospital on the time after Hubby's surgery was over. I planned to pick up my hubby after he felt better and ready to leave in his recovery room. It was about 8 pm. The problem was the office was empty due to business hours. I looked at the phone on the desk. The sign next to the phone said that I have to call in case the patient's surgery was over and where the recovery room is. Oh, really???? Do you expect ME to call on that phone? I had to find a hospital security guard and explained that I couldn't call on the phone and asked her to take me directly to hubby's recovery room.