Are deaf kids bullied/harrassed more frequently than hearing kids in mainstream?

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
I get that... I'm just saying a bully doesn't automatically=Audist.
when if Bully found the flaw = deafness therefore they are audist becuase they see deafness as a weak person. yes, simple as that.
 

dogmom

Well-Known Member
-high quote amounts below-

I agree with what DC and many on here are describing

a child with a perceived "weakness" or difference or "disability" is in a situation directly tied to a "normal" vs. "abnormal" dichotomy brought about by societal views. The "default" is such-and-such. That one kid is not such-and-such, therefore the child is de-valued because they do not represent the "majority". They are not perceived to be "the same". Therefore a situation involving bullying a deaf child is tied to audism because audism is where hearing is perceived as "better", "normal".
To say that audism doesn't exist in this situation is same as saying one is colorblind, doesn't see race...well, that in itself perpetuates racism, same as avoiding audism perpetuates audism.
 

CSign

New Member
where?

I'm referring to your posts in general.

it appears that you are oblivious to what we are saying to you. and it also appears that you are oblivious to what is happening to deafies. looks like you'll learn it painfully thru your deaf son.
Who is "we"?? Why don't you just speak for yourself.

You stated I said something that never rolled off my fingertips. Which is why I said you are confused.

You don't need to discuss my son, and particularly discuss me learning things "painfully through him". :ty:
 

CSign

New Member
-high quote amounts below-

I agree with what DC and many on here are describing

a child with a perceived "weakness" or difference or "disability" is in a situation directly tied to a "normal" vs. "abnormal" dichotomy brought about by societal views. The "default" is such-and-such. That one kid is not such-and-such, therefore the child is de-valued because they do not represent the "majority". They are not perceived to be "the same". Therefore a situation involving bullying a deaf child is tied to audism because audism is where hearing is perceived as "better", "normal".
To say that audism doesn't exist in this situation is same as saying one is colorblind, doesn't see race...well, that in itself perpetuates racism, same as avoiding audism perpetuates audism.
I get what you're saying Dogmom.

I have a question though... What do we call it when someone bullies a person
because they have glasses? Or because they don't dress well? Or because they are short?
 

Frisky Feline

Well-Known Member
I get what you're saying Dogmom.

I have a question though... What do we call it when someone bullies a person
because they have glasses? Or because they don't dress well? Or because they are short?
I know what you mean but more of those weird personality that go with short or glasses or dont dress well that bullies like to make fun of.

for deaf, is too easy to be target no matter what if they are awesome but their ears, you know?
 

JabberJay

New Member
It's not just deaf kids getting picked on more in main stream really, it's people who are different in general. This is even more so if you come from a small community or go to a smaller school.

Yeah I was picked on for having speech problems and not always hearing everything but at the same time I remember a Chinese girl was picked on just as badly because she was the only non-newfie in our tiny school and she looked different.

Anyone who's different than the norm will be picked on more.
 

dogmom

Well-Known Member
:ty:CSign
I think when someone bullies a person because they have glasses, or wear clothes not "approved" by majority or are short - that's also bullying but the sociological aspects of the larger "ism" aren't there. Those are targeted characteristics based on individual traits, not a collective, institutional bias such as is perpetuated by societal action.

In addition to the personal bullying I described earlier in this thread, I was also bullied based on clothes/boots I had, what I ate, because I was short/physically little <born several months premature> and know I woulda been bullied if I'd gotten the glasses I knew I needed in 8th grade. I spent that whole year trying to be especially invisible to my 8th grade history teacher. His assignments were done this way - he'd write a list of questions on the blackboard which students had to copy and then go back and look in their books for the answers. I couldn't see the board where I sat and so I asked a student sitting next to me <who was one of the few kids who didn't mess with me> , if, after she was done copying the questions, could she hand back her paper and I'd quickly copy the questions from her sheet. She agreed to the arrangement. She had nothing to do while I copied her questions so she just tried to look like she was looking in her book. so I got really good at taking super-quick notes and using some of my own short-hand, which came in very handy in college.

But the point of my story was, based on my experiences I knew I'd also have gotten it pretty bad if I'd gotten the eyeglasses. I waited til 8th grade was done to let it slip that I needed them.
However, the significance of any of those individual experiences and the hurt of that, which I knew all too well - not quite the same as the "power-over" that is audism.
 

DeafCaroline

New Member
:ty:CSign
I think when someone bullies a person because they have glasses, or wear clothes not "approved" by majority or are short - that's also bullying but the sociological aspects of the larger "ism" aren't there. Those are targeted characteristics based on individual traits, not a collective, institutional bias such as is perpetuated by societal action.

In addition to the personal bullying I described earlier in this thread, I was also bullied based on clothes/boots I had, what I ate, because I was short/physically little <born several months premature> and know I woulda been bullied if I'd gotten the glasses I knew I needed in 8th grade. I spent that whole year trying to be especially invisible to my 8th grade history teacher. His assignments were done this way - he'd write a list of questions on the blackboard which students had to copy and then go back and look in their books for the answers. I couldn't see the board where I sat and so I asked a student sitting next to me <who was one of the few kids who didn't mess with me> , if, after she was done copying the questions, could she hand back her paper and I'd quickly copy the questions from her sheet. She agreed to the arrangement. She had nothing to do while I copied her questions so she just tried to look like she was looking in her book. so I got really good at taking super-quick notes and using some of my own short-hand, which came in very handy in college.

But the point of my story was, based on my experiences I knew I'd also have gotten it pretty bad if I'd gotten the eyeglasses. I waited til 8th grade was done to let it slip that I needed them.
However, the significance of any of those individual experiences and the hurt of that, which I knew all too well - not quite the same as the "power-over" that is audism.
I got glasses in grade 4....that combined with hearing aids strapped to my chest and worn out hand me down clothing was not helping my popularity factor whatsoever. I looked like I was begging to be bullied and in fact, WAS bullied intensely until I switched to a different school in grade six. Grade six, I got ear level hearing aids then the bullying stopped but I was still pretty much a social reject, my glasses were fugly.

In grade 9, I had both ear level aids and contact lenses - that was the year my social experiences in school started changing for the better.
 

dogmom

Well-Known Member
I'm sorry that happened to you, Caroline:hug:
yes, the combination of several factors of "difference" often makes things much worse.

like you, in 9th grade, things got much better for me.
 

Buffalo

Active Member
When I was growing up in '60s and '70, it seemed that the teachers focused on who was bullied - not on the bullies themselves. I thought they were focusing on the wrong group when they should focus on the bullies. Did I see things wrong (like the teachers were helping the victims)???
 

DeafCaroline

New Member
When I was growing up in '60s and '70, it seemed that the teachers focused on who was bullied - not on the bullies themselves. I thought they were focusing on the wrong group when they should focus on the bullies. Did I see things wrong (like the teachers were helping the victims)???
I don't know. I did try asking for help when I was bullied and the most common response I got was " don't tattle-tale".
 

sallylou

Potterhead and Janeite
Premium Member
Csign, you don't understand my point. It is irrelevant what the bully intends. The point is how the victim internalizes the experience. The victim experiences an incident full of audism.
 

naisho

Forum Disorders M.D.,Ph.D
Here's my impression of bullying:
Glasses: Bullying based on the fact they can't see as well, or wear corrective lens.
Height: Bullying based on shortness (or tallness)
Mental: Bullying based on IQ (too much, or too little)
Ethnicity/race: Bullying based on minority status - racism/discrimination
Deaf: Bullying based on inability to hear (that already has a name, it's audism)

Each and every bullying is definitely for a reason, if not combined for multiple reasons. Some of them just don't have terminology out there for it.
 

naisho

Forum Disorders M.D.,Ph.D
One kid did try to bully me, but I kicked his ass on the playground. He never messed with me again...and I got my reputation. No one bothered me.

This may sound really strange, especially coming from an educator, but sometimes the best thing you can do for a kid is to teach that kid to stand up to others. If that means punching the bully's lights out, so be it. I told my daughter, who had a kid picking on her, to shove him back if he does it again. She did tell the teacher, and the teacher has tried to deal with the kid numerous times...nothing really seems to work. Finally, one day, he shoved her out of the way while she was drinking water from the foundation, and she shoved him back and kicked his leg. He never bothered her again.
I did something like that too. I kept telling on the teacher and my parents and nothing happened. Finally I threatened the guy in sixth grade and he got taken aback and laid low and quiet for awhile. He and I both also got detention slips for being hostile. :roll:

He continued later after he got more people to support him - I had teams of bullies later on in life, and later anti-bully friends.
 

DeafBadger

Ad Astra Per Aspera
Premium Member
I don't know. I did try asking for help when I was bullied and the most common response I got was " don't tattle-tale".
I got that line too. "Don't tattle-tale." WTF?!

"So... teacher, do you mean to say that the lesson for me to learn is to never challenge the bad guys? Never protest, never kick back? To always let people walk all over you? Wow, thanks for that lesson, teacher!" :mad:
 

TXgolfer

Dream Weaver
Premium Member
We have to remember that every society is not the same, they do vary from place to place. There are places where the deaf are bullied to the point where they commit suicide or move away to somewhere else. Meanwhile, some are treated like an equal. However, I do believe that the bigger the presence of the deaf, the less susceptible they will be to bullying problems.

It all boils down to one thing about an individual's fate... attitude. Not the individual's attitude, but the society's attitude. The society is a powerful force, they can do a great deal of damages to one's self-esteem.
I just started reading this thread and that pretty much sums up what I was thinking. Each school is different. In my school people were protected. It was like a code. :dunno: It is sad to see others had a different experience.
 

kokonut

New Member
Interesting thread.

I can remember two instances in my life when others have tried to pick on me. I didn't even consider it as bullying but something of an annoyance. The first one I can remember, I didn't even lay a hand but it was at middle school (no, not mainstreamed) during 6th grade. Some obnoxious 7th grader who was a little bigger than me, of course, tried to push me around. But two of my friends saw that I was about to jump the kid but they held me back and told me that I was crazy if I were to fight him in the school hallway. I didn't care. Well, that kid never tried to bother me.

The second one was in high school. I was in the 10th grade and this other kid was in the 9th grade, he was bigger than me. Always bothered me on my bus and each time I would get up and tell him to stop. And nearly got into a fight but didn't want to do it on a bus. And then eventually did the "double dog dare" him in front of his friends if he wanted to fight I told him that he knows where to find me. So, he did. He and his friend came along. Started doing all this trash talking at me. I just stood there while my good friend was standing off to the side. I said, "hey, if you really want to fight, throw the first punch." He never did, that is, until I chuckled and turned and that's when he threw a sucker punch. Lesson learned, never turn your back. Sucker punched me from behind. I went down on the street on all fours. He then proceeded to kick me in the stomach and side. I tossed my hearing aid over to my good friend (hearing) who was I think in shock seeing this unfolding, ha ha, and I quickly tackled the guy when he saw me get up and tried to get away. I tackled him onto a neighbor's lawn. He was on top of me when that happened but it only took a few seconds until I was on top of him (i've done years of wrestling, little did he know) and pummeled him into his face several times as I straddled on top of his stomach until an adult neighbor came from behind and stopped my swinging. I looked up, I punched him, too. And left. My friend gave me back my hearing aid and then I walked home. Cut upper skin above my lip that broke completely thru. Found that out whenever I breathed air it went thru that cut. Ha. That's only injury I received. The other guy, a nicely bruised face. The guy I pummeled got scared after that and tried to apologize hours later thinking I'd call the cops or his father on him since he threw the first punch. Told him to eff off. Heh. He never bothered me at school or on the bus again for three years til I graduated.

I've also stood up for other people who got picked on as well. Even one time during fire fighting I was with a mostly young crew and there were a few fire fighters picking on a green who was a young, skinny 18 years old kid on his first fire by making fun of him for a few days into the two weeks of fire fighting. Told them to knock it off because in a wildfire, you can't afford to create animosity while we're trying to fight a fire. it's really becomes a safety concern and moral issue. They stopped. And because we did so well together we were the last one to leave fire camp when other teams were sent home earlier losing the opportunity to make overtime money.

I never saw myself as being bullied because, well, you can see why.
 

CSign

New Member
That's quite the story Kokonut. I think that is the key to it all- teaching students how to not only stand up for themselves, but how to physically defend themselves. All it takes is one incident like you and DeafBajaGal described, and people will know not to mess with the person.
 
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