Are deaf kids bullied/harrassed more frequently than hearing kids in mainstream?

whatdidyousay!

Well-Known Member
Useless, really. Getting the parents or school officials involved doesn't necessarily always stop the bullying. It continued for me, and has for other people I've seen post their experiences here. There are a lot of bullying threads on here.

The reality is, and I'm sure stats will prove it, mainstreamed kids are likely to be bullied more often than deaf school kids.

Then comes the second part. Did they learn or grow from the situation? Not everyone completely hates it. Some chalk it up to an experience.
What happen to Dixie was more than bullying she was sexually assaulted and I never heard of woman saying it was a learning experience! The kids that bullied and sexually assaulted her should had been arrested and brought to court! I feel the kids should still be arrested , they should not be allowed to get away with what they did. This has to one of worst case of bullying I heard about and feel so bad that this happen to Dixie.
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
*tears in my eyes reading this thread* I was TORMENTED in mainstream school. FUCKING tormented. I remember thinking I was the ONLY kid in the universe who had to wear hearing aids...I was isolated, and ostracized...teased about my voice, teased for always being a beat behind. God, there were people who thought I was RETARDED b/c of the way I talk....and I was only in Resource Room for MATH (not English/Language Arts) I remember stuff like mean phone calls, tacks on my chair, etc.
I remember in middle school it was AWFUL....just freaking awful. I got an obscene letter from some boys, and my parents even hired a lawyer...the school was all " Oh it's just boys being boys.....Deafdyke is just one of those freaky sped kids." :roll: High school was even worse...........omg......lots of assholes thought I was not exactly bright...I remember in a Honors Latin class...let me repeat a HONORS Latin class I got asked if I was going to a special school after graduation?!?!?! I remember my bike being stolen just b/c it was mine, I remember one time just walking around, and some guys driving by in a car told me I sucked?!?!? I had NO friends...Literally no friends. About the ONLY thing that helped me survive high school was going to camp (of course that did come with its own set of problems seeing as its where I discovered I was gay)
My parents are still SO fucking clueless about what I went through.. They do admit that they should have sent me to Reads(local dhh collaborative) or Clarke or another deaf school/program. No kid should have to go through what I went through....and as a matter of fact, I wrote an article for my syndrome's newsletter saying that if possible kids with disabilties should go to specialized placements for middle and high school. I'm also getting published in another web thing encouraging parents to look into disabilty specific placements for their kids
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
You have no idea what you are talking about. And you are minimizing the greater risk that deaf children have in the mainstream. There was no reason to even bring hearing children into the discussion. The topic was the risk of deaf children.

Oh, well. Nothing new here.
AMEN! Faire joure, you just have NO CLUE!!!!!! And you know what? Those kids you hear about who are doing so well....I predict that a LOT of them will end up like us. You know WE were those kids last generation.
 

DeafBadger

Ad Astra Per Aspera
Premium Member
I am very sorry that you went through all that, Dixie. That was just horrible. Horrible. :(

Yes, I have been bullied, too. After reading Dixie's story, I almost don't even want to mention my story... it pales in comparison to what she went through.

I don't remember a lot of it, and I've probably blocked a lot of it out. I didn't have a prom date, because my girlfriend's step-mother (the Evil One from Hell) at the time didn't feel that she should go out with me. (No good reason.)

There were a couple of boys that bullied me in grade school. I think I managed to avoid them most of the time, because there were some easier targets for them. I was teased about my ear molds (that it created a suction in my ears, so that was why I couldn't hear). I was ridiculed off the basketball team tryouts. Picked last for gym teams.

(Funny thing, though, one of the boys that bullied me in grade school ended up being very, very short as an adult. Last time I saw him, I stood well over him in height. lol It was funny seeing that he was visibly uncomfortable. I think he was grateful that I didn't use my size advantage to turn him into a pancake. ;-) )

I was chased by bullies in grade school. But I was always one step ahead and managed to avoid them.

Mostly, it's just being left out and being blindsided by malicious rumors, after that.

Nothing like Dixie's story, though. That makes me very sad and angry to hear of that level of bullying... :mad2:
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
and Dixie, that is so beyond horrible. What I think a lot of inclusionists and pro mainstreamers don't understand is that too often kids aren't fully included socially and emotionally in the mainstream. We exist but it's on the very edge of the mainstream. That as a result can (and does) translate into later really bad life experiances, a la shel90 and Dixie. God, I know a mainstreamed hoh girl who was so desperately lonely she fell in love with someone who was a drug abuser and was abusive in general. She told me that he once told her that if he killed her, they would never find the body?!?!? Yet she stayed with him b/c she thought he was so sweet?!?!?
 

Dixie

Farting Snowflakes
Premium Member
Shelly, in 4th grade I remember I was sitting in science class and this girl next to me just grabbed my arm and clawed me for all I was worth, enough to break the skin and leave scratch marks. I yelled out in pain and it interrupted the teacher. Everyone was laughing at me. I remember the teacher getting on to the girl but after that incident, this girl just had it out for me. She was also in my math class and we had those dreaded 'Mad Minute' math worksheets where we had to do as many math problems as we could in a minute. Well I already struggled in math so if I got lucky I would have maybe 4 out of 20 problems done and maybe one correct. So we would do these and we would switch papers and she intentionally made sure she got mine. The teacher would have us grade each others papers as she called out the correct answers. She would call out how many I missed which would be like 19. I was getting bad grades in math because of this until one day the teacher noticed how this girl was grading the paper. We were supposed to take the number of problems completed and just grade that. Needless to say the girl got in trouble for this. That's when she started pulling my hair in the hallway or making me trip and fall with my tray during lunch. That didn't last long though because the girl eventually moved. I was glad. I was still a target, still bullied. I just don't know what made me such a target in school. Obviously, the kids saw something in me I didn't see.

I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone. I can safely say I REALLY hated school. Sometimes I would dread the day to the point of feeling sick in my stomach.
 

Bottesini

Old Deaf Ranter
Premium Member
I wouldn't wish what I went through on anyone. I can safely say I REALLY hated school. Sometimes I would dread the day to the point of feeling sick in my stomach.
They finally had to stop giving me breakfast before school as I kept getting sent home because I would get sick.
 

Dixie

Farting Snowflakes
Premium Member
Yeah, I thought that kind of stuff happened only in Lifetime movies. It happened to me and it hurt. When people start talking about their prom, I can't help but feel sad for myself. It hurts still. I sometimes wish I could have a prom of sorts but at my age it would be stupid and ridiculous.

However I think I would have been better off just not going in the first place. I would have saved myself from the humiliation and embarrassment.
 

Dixie

Farting Snowflakes
Premium Member
They finally had to stop giving me breakfast before school as I kept getting sent home because I would get sick.
:shock: so by lunch you were ravenous and not just for food either, right?

I was picked on for being fat so I starved myself. I went from 160-something to 104 in less than a year. I maintained that 100-105 lb weight by starvation and over excercising. I went from size 18 to size 4. I stayed that way for close to three years.
 

jillio

New Member
They finally had to stop giving me breakfast before school as I kept getting sent home because I would get sick.
How asolutely unnacceptable that we put kids in situations on a daily basis that cause them so much stess that they experience physical symptoms. :mad:

And then the solution is to send the kid to the school counselor to teach them how to deal with their stress. Change the freaking situation! It is not the kid's lack of ability to deal with stress. It is the situation causing more stress than any child should ever be expected to deal with.

Rather than teaching the kid how to tolerate the unnacceptable, we need to be teaching adults what they are putting these kids through, all in the name of "their best benefit." :mad:
 

rivenoak

New Member
Premium Member
When people start talking about their prom, I can't help but feel sad for myself. It hurts still. I sometimes wish I could have a prom of sorts but at my age it would be stupid and ridiculous.
I don't think it's stupid and ridiculous to still want a prom. And I think you should do it!

The friend of a friend recently threw a great party where they decorated the car port, borrowed DJ equipment, hung sparkly stuff in the rafters, and had a dress theme (all in white). Everybody danced and danced, ate cake, sat at tables and chatted. It was a better party than the proms I attended, mostly because it was all cool people there.

Sometime in your life, throw yourself a party like that with the people you like most. It doesn't have to be expensive and you can make it to your taste!

Just turn down the loud music and swirling lights before the noise ordinance kicks in!:giggle:
 

dogmom

Well-Known Member
in the school years I was bullied and explaining about in this thread above, I often wouldn't eat lunch, or would go try to sneak away and eat somewhere else so no one could see me. I would try to eat very fast and was alway on the look-out for an attack. Often also was ill or pretended to be, so I could stay home, or be sent home.

I was labeled as having "math anxiety" in high school even after several failed math classes and miserable attempts at chem, and crying outbursts during meetings with Geometry teacher, guidance counselor and my mom. I wasn't able to explain what was going on. I was sent to counseling for the "math anxiety".
 

jillio

New Member
in the school years I was bullied and explaining about in this thread above, I often wouldn't eat lunch, or would go try to sneak away and eat somewhere else so no one could see me. I would try to eat very fast and was alway on the look-out for an attack. Often also was ill or pretended to be, so I could stay home, or be sent home.

I was labeled as having "math anxiety" in high school even after several failed math classes and miserable attempts at chem, and crying outbursts during meetings with Geometry teacher, guidance counselor and my mom. I wasn't able to explain what was going on. I was sent to counseling for the "math anxiety".
What a horrible injustice. I am sorry.
 

Dixie

Farting Snowflakes
Premium Member
in the school years I was bullied and explaining about in this thread above, I often wouldn't eat lunch, or would go try to sneak away and eat somewhere else so no one could see me. I would try to eat very fast and was alway on the look-out for an attack. Often also was ill or pretended to be, so I could stay home, or be sent home.

I was labeled as having "math anxiety" in high school even after several failed math classes and miserable attempts at chem, and crying outbursts during meetings with Geometry teacher, guidance counselor and my mom. I wasn't able to explain what was going on. I was sent to counseling for the "math anxiety".
Math anxiety? Sheesh. You would think the counselor would have figured out it had to do with much more than just math! I'm beginning to wonder what is even the point of having a school counselor? What is their exact purpose? Often they just shuffle the students in and out with no real solution to the matter, at least that was my experience. I even got to the point that I didn't even like the counselor. It was pointless.
 

Speedy Hawk

New Member
I agree it totally awful and cruel for what Dixie went through. Those boys most likely would be arrested if it happened any girl good parents found out about it.

My experience with bullies was really bad. Some parts what they did to me pop out my memory more than others like 4/5 girls hold me tight while 1 girl put 2 pins in my skull until I managed break free and run like hell outta of here. Stones throw at me, not even small ones, it was quite big, about 2-3cm wide, I had to wear very thick winter coat with hood even in summer to protect myself.

There metal wire fence been snapped and very sharp pointing thing stuck outwards and group of girls and boys saw it and decided push me towards it and it ripped right though my very thick winter coat and my jumper had mark on it, I was thinking THANK GOD for that coat or I be very seriously cut and bleed.

Once they trapped me inside toliet room in black pitch dark, there no windows and light switch was outside the room, I was so scared of dark that age cos I can't see and I can't communicate in dark and I was trapped there at least 1 hour before teacher noticed door was locked.
 

deafdyke

Well-Known Member
How asolutely unnacceptable that we put kids in situations on a daily basis that cause them so much stess that they experience physical symptoms. :mad:

And then the solution is to send the kid to the school counselor to teach them how to deal with their stress. Change the freaking situation! It is not the kid's lack of ability to deal with stress. It is the situation causing more stress than any child should ever be expected to deal with.

Rather than teaching the kid how to tolerate the unnacceptable, we need to be teaching adults what they are putting these kids through, all in the name of "their best benefit." :mad:
Oh yeah I KNOW!!!!!! The "bright idea" is sending the kid to counseling.....I was ALWAYS in counseling and it did NOTHING for me. The counselors had NO fucking CLUE how to manage a kid with low incidence issues.....
 
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