Are deaf kids bullied/harrassed more frequently than hearing kids in mainstream?

[Latascha]

You have truly touched my heart with this post. What you survived was abusive. It was traumatic. It is a testament to your own personal strength to have survived it and be able to heal somewhat from it.

It is obvious to me that you are a very intelligent person. It is apparent in the way you express yourself and the depth of your thoughts and insight. What a horrible, horrible thing to take a child who is intelligent and capable, and turn them into a child that hates school. It is destruction of potential...and for what end? It is senseless.

Your anger is justified. You were exposed to abusive treatment that was completely unjustified. Of course you would be angry. You have every right to be angry. And I can see that you are not letting that anger eat you alive, though. You are trying to work through that anger. Holding onto the anger just gives those people from your past control over you today. In order to work through the anger, however, you first have to feel it. I would guess that you have already figured that out. The process is to feel it, to admit the injustice and the pain it caused you, to grieve for that poor, abused child, and then to let go of it.

I think I probably should let you know right now, so that it doesn't appear that I am trying to hide anything from you, that I am hearing. But the Deaf culture and the language are very much a valued part of my life. I treasure the friends I have made and the valuable things I have learned about life from my interactions with Deaf culture.

Yes, it would appear that Germany is far behind the U.S. in regard to deaf education. Your descrptions really put that into perspective. But in many places in the U.S., it remains just like you have described. There is no consistency and that is a problem in and of itself. With more hearing parents choosing oral only educational placement for their kids, I have the fear that, in the next few years, we will start to see a regression in deaf ed here rather than progress. I can already see signs of that happening.

It has been very nice meeting you, and I hope I have the opportunity to get to know you much better with time.

Thank you for your words! Working through all that will take a while, but I've got no reason to hurry.

Are you serious??? Wow, I don't know much of anything like that you mentioned about deaf school system and most Deafies do not sign well in German and its language? I am shocked about it. I had visited Germany for the first time a year ago for Oktoberfest in Munich and I have met so many Deaf Germans and picked up some of their Deutsch Signs in conversation. They invited me to join them to the Deaf club and other night at the night club (Klaus?) after the Oktoberfest deaf gathering, I saw so many Deaf my age and I thought watching them awesomely signing in German. I have an acquaintance Deaf friend who moved here in New York from Germany about 15 years ago. Maybe one day I should ask him more about what it is like living as a deaf in Germany and all. I thought school for the deaf and other school seems okay I have heard that schools in Germany are one of the best in the world.

Don't get me wrong, of course they all can sign but there are many deaf people who sign on a low level b/c of the bad education they had! The worst example I can give you was a few years back, not at the Oktoberfest, but at another of those bavarian drinking events. A friend of mine and I were talking about Sigmund Freuds view of the human child. At some point we were interrupted by a man in his thirties asking what that one sign was, he didn't know. (he was deaf) We were talking about the "soul" and that was the word he didn't know. We fingerspelled it, he still didn't know what it was. So we spend thirty minutes trying to explain this person what the human soul is about. He had NEVER heard of it in his life.
A friend of mine told me he bought a "satellite". The next day I picked up on that topic while we were chatting and I wrote the word. He didn't know what it was. I tried to explain it, but he didn't get it. I had to turn on my webcam and sign it.
The deaf community is splitted within itself. There are deaf events, all about drinking, making friends, chatting along, and then there are deaf events where you actually can talk about politics, education, art, etc. You normally don't see the same people attending both types of events.
To narrow it down: Bad education leads to that lack of knowledge and I think it really is a major problem in this country.

I do have to say that I think that mainstreaming can be abusive. God it gave ME PSTD. I am never ever ever going to go a high school reunion, b/c it was SO bad! It angers me SO much that mainstreaming and inclusion is painted as some sort of glorious utopia, or something innovative. It's NOT and never has been! Yes, there are a handful of kids who have done well overall (meaning they only need minimal accomondations, and don't even have social issues) but overall kids are struggling and are misrable socially....
ANd yes, I hear you. But I think on the other hand that there are going to be a lot of parents who chose sign and deaf schools b/c their siblings or friends may have had really negative mainstream experiances. I do think a lot of parents are out of touch about the downside of mainstreaming, and don't understand that their kid could do so much better at a deaf school.

You know, I think many parents remember their own school years and the problems they may have had (we do know hearing kids get bullied too) and because it probably wasn't that bad for them, because they grew up and became a respected member of the society (respected = fitting in), they don't really take it serious. That's where things like "In my time things weren't as easy as they are now, we turned out pretty well, too...You have to stand up for yourself..." come from, I think.

 

[jillio]

Thank you for your words! Working through all that will take a while, but I've got no reason to hurry.


Don't get me wrong, of course they all can sign but there are many deaf people who sign on a low level b/c of the bad education they had! The worst example I can give you was a few years back, not at the Oktoberfest, but at another of those bavarian drinking events. A friend of mine and I were talking about Sigmund Freuds view of the human child. At some point we were interrupted by a man in his thirties asking what that one sign was, he didn't know. (he was deaf) We were talking about the "soul" and that was the word he didn't know. We fingerspelled it, he still didn't know what it was. So we spend thirty minutes trying to explain this person what the human soul is about. He had NEVER heard of it in his life.
A friend of mine told me he bought a "satellite". The next day I picked up on that topic while we were chatting and I wrote the word. He didn't know what it was. I tried to explain it, but he didn't get it. I had to turn on my webcam and sign it.
The deaf community is splitted within itself. There are deaf events, all about drinking, making friends, chatting along, and then there are deaf events where you actually can talk about politics, education, art, etc. You normally don't see the same people attending both types of events.
To narrow it down: Bad education leads to that lack of knowledge and I think it really is a major problem in this country.


You know, I think many parents remember their own school years and the problems they may have had (we do know hearing kids get bullied too) and because it probably wasn't that bad for them, because they grew up and became a respected member of the society (respected = fitting in), they don't really take it serious. That's where things like "In my time things weren't as easy as they are now, we turned out pretty well, too...You have to stand up for yourself..." come from, I think.

True, that. For the deaf child, the bullying never stops. A bullied hearing child grows up and becomes an accepted member of society. They may have emotional scars to deal with, but they reach a point of acceptance into society all the same.

The deaf child grows up and not only carries the scars of childhood bullying; they are met with a lack of acceptance into the majority society as adults. The bullying continues. It is much more subtle and covert, but the experience of the hearing exerting power over the deaf is there as much for the adult as it was for the child.

 

[deafskeptic]

True, that. For the deaf child, the bullying never stops. A bullied hearing child grows up and becomes an accepted member of society. They may have emotional scars to deal with, but they reach a point of acceptance into society all the same.

The deaf child grows up and not only carries the scars of childhood bullying; they are met with a lack of acceptance into the majority society as adults. The bullying continues. It is much more subtle and covert, but the experience of the hearing exerting power over the deaf is there as much for the adult as it was for the child.

For some deafies, I would imagine they'd have a hard time having a hearing person with power over them (ie, someone with the power to hire and fire) in many contexts.

 

[deafdyke]

True, that. For the deaf child, the bullying never stops. A bullied hearing child grows up and becomes an accepted member of society. They may have emotional scars to deal with, but they reach a point of acceptance into society all the same.

The deaf child grows up and not only carries the scars of childhood bullying; they are met with a lack of acceptance into the majority society as adults. The bullying continues. It is much more subtle and covert, but the experience of the hearing exerting power over the deaf is there as much for the adult as it was for the child.

Oh hell yes.......especially the ORAL deaf child. Despite all the rheotic, oral deaf kids (without ASL) all say they don't feel like they fit into hearing society....even thou the end goal of oral education is to assimulate them into hearing society! Why the hell don't the experts acknowledge the damage that oral only does emotionally and socially? I mean god I can tell so many horror stories...a hoh girl who has sex with random people b/c she has no friends and it's a way for her to feel like she's "loved", a guy who has no friends, countless dhh dudes who have IMD me wanting girlfriends....(they don't even get to know you as a friend....they just say they want a deaf girlfriend!?!?!)

 

[BethTEHGreat]

I was mainstreamed duing my childhood years until high school. Graduated with the hearies that doesn't give a crap about the deafies. I was never bullied but I was involved in lot of "hearies" activities because I knew it would take me somewhere I would like to be in life...plus there wasn't much of advocacy on the Deaf community/Deaf culture in Memphis where I used to live. For the prom- I went and didn't see anything so excited about prom...college events were much more fun than high school. Come to thinking about my upcoming high school reunion in 2013- definitely isn't planning on attend since I have no strings attached with anyone or don't want to do anything with my old classmates...there is a Deaf Drama Reunion in the works for the summer of 2012- I find it interesting that someone is planning a reunion for ALL Deaf/HOH/Oral Deaf students that was part of Deaf Drama Club. Hrm?

On the bully part, I find this very interested that my brother (a hearie) bullied those who bullied against the Deaf/students with disabilities/anyone that doesn't view as normal people. I think it was nice for him to stand up for others when they don't have the opportunity to stand up against their bullies and my brother always it his way and everyone got along just pretty good afterwards.

 

[Buffalo]

I was mainstreamed duing my childhood years until high school. Graduated with the hearies that doesn't give a crap about the deafies. I was never bullied but I was involved in lot of "hearies" activities because I knew it would take me somewhere I would like to be in life...plus there wasn't much of advocacy on the Deaf community/Deaf culture in Memphis where I used to live. For the prom- I went and didn't see anything so excited about prom...college events were much more fun than high school. Come to thinking about my upcoming high school reunion in 2013- definitely isn't planning on attend since I have no strings attached with anyone or don't want to do anything with my old classmates...there is a Deaf Drama Reunion in the works for the summer of 2012- I find it interesting that someone is planning a reunion for ALL Deaf/HOH/Oral Deaf students that was part of Deaf Drama Club. Hrm?

On the bully part, I find this very interested that my brother (a hearie) bullied those who bullied against the Deaf/students with disabilities/anyone that doesn't view as normal people. I think it was nice for him to stand up for others when they don't have the opportunity to stand up against their bullies and my brother always it his way and everyone got along just pretty good afterwards.

It looks like you didn't get bullied was because of your brother. He is a good man!

 

[deafdyke]

there wasn't much of advocacy on the Deaf community/Deaf culture in Memphis where I used to live. For the prom- I went and didn't see anything so excited about prom...college events were much more fun than high school. Come to thinking about my upcoming high school reunion in 2013- definitely isn't planning on attend since I have no strings attached with anyone or don't want to do anything with my old classmates...there is a Deaf Drama Reunion in the works for the summer of 2012- I find it interesting that someone is planning a reunion for ALL Deaf/HOH/Oral Deaf students that was part of Deaf Drama Club. Hrm?

.

Did you go to one of those schools that had a dhh program thou? I think it would have rocked to attend a dhh program....That is very different from being a solotaire. Being a solotaire is horrible!

 

[VamPyroX]

It varies by school, kids, age, society, etc...

I wasn't the only deaf kid, but I was bullied by deaf kids and never by hearing kids. I did have a hearing bully chase after me once when I was 13 years old, but that hearing bully was part of a special group of kids in a class known as behavioral adjustment (a class for hardcore troublemakers that have short tempers, are destructive, have bad attitudes, are mean/rude, etc). So, he wasn't just targeting me because I was deaf... but because he does it to everyone.

I have heard stories of hearies being bullied by deafies, deafies by hearies, hearies by hearies, deafies by deafies, boys by girls, girls by boys, girls by girls, boys by boys, etc... it goes on and on.

 

[deafdyke]

It varies by school, kids, age, society, etc...

I wasn't the only deaf kid, but I was bullied by deaf kids and never by hearing kids. I did have a hearing bully chase after me once when I was 13 years old, but that hearing bully was part of a special group of kids in a class known as behavioral adjustment (a class for hardcore troublemakers that have short tempers, are destructive, have bad attitudes, are mean/rude, etc). So, he wasn't just targeting me because I was deaf... but because he does it to everyone.

I have heard stories of hearies being bullied by deafies, deafies by hearies, hearies by hearies, deafies by deafies, boys by girls, girls by boys, girls by girls, boys by boys, etc... it goes on and on.

Vampy on the other hand, did you know the reason why public sped has such an evil rep, is b/c of the bad kids? There's nowhere else for them, so they get lumped in with kids who are just a bit 'slower" , and make those classes evil.

 

[Barbaro]

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[Barbaro]

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[deafCHL]

Growing up deaf, in a hearing, mainstreamed school, I was always bullied and harassed, but I was never beat.

 

[AlleyCat]

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Good food for thought.

 

[CareyJay]

My classmates and teachers didn't even know I was HOH, and I didn't have HA back then because my parents didn't want me to seem different. I definitely got bullied more though, because I didn't pick up social skills as well as the other kids and so I didn't have the protection of being in a clique. I was the weird kid and therefore the easy target.

 

[VacationGuy234]

To be 100% fair, the blind kid had it much worse than me during middle school. At first, I was sent to a, "special school" by projects, during grade school that could deal with special needs students, there was nothing special about the school other than the bad children that went there.

It's my belief that Deaf/HOH children should do half deaf and half hearing schools to be prepared for life. The amount, of course, is up to the parent.

 

[deafdyke]

To be 100% fair, the blind kid had it much worse than me during middle school. At first, I was sent to a, "special school" by projects, during grade school that could deal with special needs students, there was nothing special about the school other than the bad children that went there.

It's my belief that Deaf/HOH children should do half deaf and half hearing schools to be prepared for life. The amount, of course, is up to the parent.

Yup. Like what I would LOVE to see are kids being encouraged to attend deaf school/deaf program for preschool and or early elementary . Then gradually mainstream them......keeping all options open of course. I do think parents need the right to know that middle and high school are horrendous for dhh and other special needs kids, and that dhh kids should have the right to attend deaf school, even as a boarder.

 

[lucas]

i was never bullied in elementary. I remember once in grade 8 me and some guy got in an argument and he started mocking me as a deaf person saying "wahtt wahhtt wahhhtt" and i knocked his lights out with one hit. No one said anything about me being deaf after that. Then in high school, grade 9, some guy tried to harass me. I remember the first time i let it slide and kept walking but i remember the second time he was with his buddies and i saw him point at me and start laughing with his buddies. I dropped my bag and grabbed him and fed him a few nice shots on the ground. I also got suspended for 2 weeks but after that no one bugged me. I dunno if it was because i had a rep for beating people up, if it was because i sold drugs throughout high school or if it was because i hung out with the dealers. Either way i was never bullied, i was however somewhat isolated.

I am in no way a violent person. Anyone who knows me calls me a joker and knows im a genuinely nice guy. But to be honest in situations like this violence will stop them dead in their tracks. The only people who constantly get bullied are the ones who don't do anything about it

 

[CSign]

Lucas- Selling drugs= bad. Hope you're done with it- not worth it.

Defending yourself and not putting up with shit from bullies, good for you.

 

[deafdyke]

if it was because i sold drugs throughout high school or if it was because i hung out with the dealers. Either way i was never bullied, i was however somewhat isolated.

You were not bullied b/c you were one of the "tough" kids......I do however see that you don't realize that a lot of your selling drugs, and other issues in high school was b/c you didn't fit in, and you didn't know how to express it so you acted out. If you had gone to deaf school/program you would not have had those issues!

 

[PrincessBetty1]

From what I gathered in my friend's research about bully a couple of years ago, you're less luckily to be bullied if you had several friends and that parents should have looked after you. Sometimes, teachers should have caught other students treating you like this or at least suspect why you're often alone. It gives no wonder why you're desperate to drop out.

I was teased about my weight rather than my disability, but I stuck it out and stood above them. I showed them who I am and let them judge me anyway. It's because I refused to be picked on or teased or bullied. I stood my ground and told them off to not mess with me. Some has tried to take advantage of me, but I wouldn't let them.

I'm surprised your parents didn't even ask the main reason why you wanted to drop out of school or even consider to get you involved with other people that are deaf like yourself. You wouldn't have to suffer alone, but get less bullied and probably they might have backed off if you had at least true friends to protect you and there to care about you.