Are deaf kids bullied/harrassed more frequently than hearing kids in mainstream?

dogmom

Well-Known Member
ahh but it does matter....

this actually could relate to another thread...
 

dogmom

Well-Known Member
BUT
I don't want to set aside the original sadness and hurt that was shared at the beginning so am going back to that with this post...
am sorry that did happen to you, Dixie.....
 

naisho

Forum Disorders M.D.,Ph.D

deaf or hearing,it doesn't matter, your parents should have gotten you out of that situation. I am so sorry they didn't.
Useless, really. Getting the parents or school officials involved doesn't necessarily always stop the bullying. It continued for me, and has for other people I've seen post their experiences here. There are a lot of bullying threads on here.

The reality is, and I'm sure stats will prove it, mainstreamed kids are likely to be bullied more often than deaf school kids.

Then comes the second part. Did they learn or grow from the situation? Not everyone completely hates it. Some chalk it up to an experience.
 

Dixie

Farting Snowflakes
Premium Member
Thanks everyone. Your hugs and encouragement mean a lot to me. I often escaped through art such as drawing. I have some to post but it's not good art. I also wrote and one of the better moments was when I was given the schools English award. I remember my English teacher telling me I have talent for writing. Ever since I have tried to pursue that in some form one way or another. When I hear of another teen suicide due to bullying I can't help but think that could have been me. Sometimes I wish I could go to a school and speak about my experiences hoping it might help someone else. I was afraid to speak up for myself fearing more negative attention given to me. I would have rather melted under a rock than to have gone back to face that every day. Administrators often think its just kids being kids but it is so much more vicious than that. It needs to get better before the victim leaves school, and there needs to be policies in place that can adequately deal with this. Zero tolerance only silences it further by making the victim feel weak for coming forward. There needs to be a way to anonymously report incidents and those who witness such things should feel obligated to report it because the victi
Is often too afraid to speak up. Bullying has lead to the deaths of countless teens. It shouldn't take a suicide for schools to take serious actions. Those who bully and harrass others should be expelled and proper support services need to be utilized. This can and does interfere with student education and well being. I would have been grateful if I was given a chance to start over new somewhere else. Even now, I don't know if a heartfelt apology from my tormentors would help. Maybe barring bullies from school or at least barring them from any sort of contact with their victims once it is reported might help. I can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy when I hear about someone who was bullied and they got to transfer to another school and they blossom at their new school. I hated my school and it's my hope that my DD never has to go through what I went through. If that is ever the case, I would go to the ends of the earth to get her out of that situation. No kid should have to go through what I did. What I posted above was just a fraction of what I went through. I had my head bashed into lockers, I was slammed to the floor, I was picked last for teams or not picked at all, my vehicle at school was vandalized, my stuff was stolen, I was incited into fights, I've been punched, kicked, and shoved around. I was laughed at, made fun of, humiliated and embarrassed. Nothing helped. Hands were shoved in my pants, I was fondled, I was called every degrading name one could think of. I wished I could have gone to mars it was so bad. It took years and a caring person to help me finally want to come to terms with this. I'm hoping someday my story will help someone else.
 

jillio

New Member
Wirelessly posted

deaf or hearing,it doesn't matter, your parents should have gotten you out of that situation. I am so sorry they didn't.
Oh, it matters. It matters a great deal. The fact that don't even recognize that is a sign of the amount of audism you carry around every day.
 

faire_jour

New Member
Wirelessly posted

jillio said:
Wirelessly posted

deaf or hearing,it doesn't matter, your parents should have gotten you out of that situation. I am so sorry they didn't.
Oh, it matters. It matters a great deal. The fact that don't even recognize that is a sign of the amount of audism you carry around every day.
geez, your thinking is really messed up.

my point was that if ANYONE is being treated like that, the parents, teachers and admin need to get them out of there.
 

DeafCaroline

New Member
Useless, really. Getting the parents or school officials involved doesn't necessarily always stop the bullying. It continued for me, and has for other people I've seen post their experiences here. There are a lot of bullying threads on here.

The reality is, and I'm sure stats will prove it, mainstreamed kids are likely to be bullied more often than deaf school kids.

Then comes the second part. Did they learn or grow from the situation? Not everyone completely hates it. Some chalk it up to an experience.
Not everyone hates being bullied?
 

jillio

New Member
Wirelessly posted



geez, your thinking is really messed up.

my point was that if ANYONE is being treated like that, the parents, teachers and admin need to get them out of there.
No, dear. My thinking is not messed up. Your thinking is simply the byproduct of your audism.
 

faire_jour

New Member
Wirelessly posted

alright, i guess you think it is ok for hearing kids to be treated that way...because that isn't audism....wow
 

jillio

New Member
Wirelessly posted

alright, i guess you think it is ok for hearing kids to be treated that way...because that isn't audism....wow
You have no idea what you are talking about. And you are minimizing the greater risk that deaf children have in the mainstream. There was no reason to even bring hearing children into the discussion. The topic was the risk of deaf children.

Oh, well. Nothing new here.
 

DeafCaroline

New Member
Wirelessly posted

deaf or hearing,it doesn't matter, your parents should have gotten you out of that situation. I am so sorry they didn't.
the title of this thread was 'do deaf kids get bullied more than hearing kids in mainstream?"

simple answer is yes. It does matter that she was deaf in this instance because it's why she got bullied. She got bullied because her parents mainstreamed a deaf child in a hearing school. She got bullied because she's deaf, not because she was hearing. it DOES matter.

Most mainstreamed deaf kids got bullied because their parents made the decision to put them in a situation where they would stand out and be considered inferior by peers who equate ability to listen and speak well with intelligence (that's a harsh reality in mainstream schools) and sometimes considered inferior by teachers too.
 

jillio

New Member
the title of this thread was 'do deaf kids get bullied more than hearing kids in mainstream?"

simple answer is yes. It does matter that she was deaf in this instance because it's why she got bullied. She got bullied because her parents mainstreamed a deaf child in a hearing school. She got bullied because she's deaf, not because she was hearing. it DOES matter.

Most mainstreamed deaf kids got bullied because their parents made the decision to put them in a situation where they would stand out and be considered inferior by peers who equate ability to listen and speak well with intelligence (that's a harsh reality in mainstream schools) and sometimes considered inferior by teachers too.
Right. So to bring hearing children into the discussion in this way is simply an illustration of the ways that covert and unrecognized audism rears its ugly head. It is an unconscious statement that the hearing experience is equal to the deaf experience, thus minimizing the deaf experience through comparison.
 

faire_jour

New Member
Wirelessly posted

dixie, i'm sorry that people are trying to turn this into something it isn't.

no one deserves to be treated the way you were. You should not have had to go through that. I'm sorry that no one stood up for you and got you to a safe place.
 

Buffalo

Active Member
Right. So to bring hearing children into the discussion in this way is simply an illustration of the ways that covert and unrecognized audism rears its ugly head. It is an unconscious statement that the hearing experience is equal to the deaf experience, thus minimizing the deaf experience through comparison.
Good point. I could easily see that putting a deaf child in a mainstream setting is audism and bullyism as well.
 

AlleyCat

Well-Known Member
Wirelessly posted



geez, your thinking is really messed up.

my point was that if ANYONE is being treated like that, the parents, teachers and admin need to get them out of there.
So why don't more parents do just that? So many of us have talked about how our parents WOULDN'T.
 

Speedy Hawk

New Member
If parent knew their deaf kids are being bullied at school, I don't understand WHY they don't do something like move them to different school, etc?

I was bullied at mainstream at primary years and it was bad, if hearing kid got bullied like me teachers would take it seriously and even police would be called but cos I am not hearing so I got ignored. I asked my parents once couple years later after leaving primary mainstream school why they didn't listen to me and why didn't they move me another school. They just got very defensive and say I have to learn deal with it and put up with it. It didn't help that my younger sister went same primary mainstream and was happy. It as if it almost my fault I being bullied.
 

jillio

New Member
Wirelessly posted

dixie, i'm sorry that people are trying to turn this into something it isn't.

no one deserves to be treated the way you were. You should not have had to go through that. I'm sorry that no one stood up for you and got you to a safe place.
No one but you has turned it into something it isn't. You brought hearing children into it.:cool2: This is about deaf kids. Try to stick with that.
 

dogmom

Well-Known Member
a top indicator of audism - like any other 'ism - is refusing to see it.
Refusing to see deaf children as deaf, by putting children into an inherently audist setting and requiring them to use their weakest sense, is a refusal to see.
Unfortunately, hearing children in the mainstream see all too well what the parents refuse to see and bullying comes of that.
 

shel90

Audist are not welcome
Premium Member
As a mainstreamed deaf child, I was bullied to the point where I actually physically hurt.


Started out in 4th grade with kids screaming at me "Are you DEAF AND DUMB?" "CAN YOU HEAR ME?" or "CAN YOU READ MY LIPS" while flapping their lips in distorted ways to test if I could understand what they are saying. I had my close friends gang up on me about my being able to read their lips and then laughing at me. All I could do was run away sobbing. I told the teachers and they told me to ignore them. Told my mom and she said that they arent my true friends and to hang out with my true friends. As a 9 or 10 year old, I didnt understand the concept of what a true friend was. All I knew that my friends whom I have known since kindergarten are being mean to me and I didnt know why.

5th and 6th grade, things escalated to where I was constantly called stupid and was picked last to be on any sports team despite my athletic skills. The kids KNEW that I was good at any sports but I caught some of them say "NO, I dont want THAT deaf kid on my team!"

Middle school...OMG. It was pure FUCKING hell. To the hearing parents who are reading this, YOU WOULDNT want to live the hell I lived through.

I had a girl who told everyone that she will make my life living hell because I couldnt hear. She pulled on my hair during class when the teacher wasnt looking and said if I tattled, she would beat the shit out of me after school. She was a much much bigger girl and I knew I couldnt take her on. This hair pulling lead to slamming the chairs into my feet when I was wearing open toed shoes causing me to cry out. The kids would laugh. It got to the point where it was EVERYDAY causing me to feel like puking just before that particular class because I was terrified. Finally, I couldnt take it anymore and tattled. Got a meeting with the principal and my mom. They moved me to a different class instead of punishing her because they thought I was exaggerating. After I got moved, the girl would wait for me at the park near the show and show a fist to me telling me that she will get me. I just ran to get on my bus. Thank god she wasnt on my bus.

During middle school there was a boy who wasnt in any of my classes but he had a locker next to mine so between classes whenever we would go to our lockers, he would take the opportunity to harrass me by grabbing my books and throwing them on the ground or throwing trash in my locker. Then, one time I tried to ignore his screaming at me as I was told by the adults and he used that to slam the locker door on my hand nearly breaking it. I didnt tell anyone about my hand and I suffered for the rest of the day with it throbbing painfully. When I went home, I told my mom that I fell.

High school, nobody bullied me BUT I was told "Never mind", "I will tell you later", or get the rolling of the eyes by my "friends" whenever I asked them to repeat themselves so I stopped and just pretended to laugh along with them although I had no idea what they were saying. I felt more and more and more lonely even though it appeared that I had friends. They were nice to me but they didnt understand.

I never got asked out to any dances until my senior year to prom by my ex hubby. Finally. I liked so many guys and have talked to them. whenever I told my friends to ask them if they liked me in that way, they told my friend that I was cute but I couldnt hear so no, they didnt want to "date" me. I was crushed.

Lead to me hating myself so much and dreaming of becoming hearing everyday. I would practice talking on the phone hoping that one day I would be able to talk on the phone, memorize all the popular lyrics so I could sing along with my friends, and cover my hearing aids all the time. Never wore my hair up at school...not once.

After high school, I had true friends but again I still had to deal with not being able to follow everyone and not feeling like I was fully accepted so I started engaging in self-destructive behaviors. Already one had started in high school...binge drinking. I learned that if I got drunk at high school parties, I felt like I could fit in so my goal was to get drunk at any social gatherings. After high school, drinking went down but I went on expensive shopping binges on credit cards to buy the most fashionable clothes so I can look good and get accepted. Didnt work. So, I got obsessed with my body image and started starving myself. I was a size 12 in high school so I went down to a size 9 but like 130. I was constantly comparing my body with every other thin women on a daily basis. Did that for 2 years.

When I started learning ASL, I was pregnant with my daughter so after I became fluent and after I had a child, I got better.

However, it has made me hate people who hold audist views. I despite them with a passion.
 
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