Adjustment to late onset deafness

Just a comment or two on CIs. You may not lose your residual hearing with the newer CIs. I just got one and though the hearing loss in that ear was pretty darn bad, when I put my hearing aid in to see if I could hear anything using my ComPilot & TV Link (which I could before the surgery - just barely) I could hear the "on" beeps and the volume change beeps.
I can't understand why people are so concerned about the "invasiveness" of CIs. Part of it goes under the scalp and thin wire(s) are threaded through the cochlear. Would you have knee replacement or a rod for a severely broken leg done if you wanted a better quality of life?
 
LoveBlue said:
Just a comment or two on CIs. You may not lose your residual hearing with the newer CIs. I just got one and though the hearing loss in that ear was pretty darn bad, when I put my hearing aid in to see if I could hear anything using my ComPilot & TV Link (which I could before the surgery - just barely) I could hear the "on" beeps and the volume change beeps.
I can't understand why people are so concerned about the "invasiveness" of CIs. Part of it goes under the scalp and thin wire(s) are threaded through the cochlear. Would you have knee replacement or a rod for a severely broken leg done if you wanted a better quality of life?
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Well another reason I'm hesitant to get them at the moment (forums wold not let me include this part in my post for whatever reason) is that I would have to take time off work and school for the healing + rehab period. The latter isn't really an option for me, as I am currently enrolled in a rigorous and condensed six-year PharmD program, and will be part of the last class to graduate from this program. They are also a significant financial burden to poor college students like me.

Also, I suppose nobody can really know for sure, but are simulations like these accurate? Comparing this to natural hearing terrifies me.
 
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That is a very realistic video sound track. I am a former professional musician who is bilateral CI and the music seems to be what I've progressed through up to the 20 channel level. Thanks for posting.
 
Oh my, this is a long thread! Somebody in a few posts back asked about causes. I think there are so many different ones and some I think reinforce the problem. Here is what I think has caused/worsened my hearing loss, in chronological order, more or less:
1. Falling out of bed and being knocked unconscious at about age 4 or 5.
2. Screaming at the top of my lungs while sitting on the basement stairs behind a closed door where I was put when I was frustrated and needed comforting (probably preschool as I barely recall doing this)
3. A parent who just thought I was shy when I told her something was seriously wrong with me, that I couldn't follow group conversations, stared at people's lips etc.
4. An extremely domineering, aggressive older sister who spoke for me and over me and whose usual snarky response to my 'what did you say?' Was "NEVER MIND!"
5. Being left on my own a lot and basically being ignored by my family.
6. No attempt by my parents to help me socialize when I was already exhibiting signs of serious depression, withdrawal and almost autistic symptoms around age 7.
7. Connecting the dots here on items 2-6 above: If the brain does not get enough practice doing something (ie: communicating with friends and family) then the listening, hearing, comprehending and speaking ability do not develop properly.
8. A second concussion around age 30, where I hit the front of my head and went blind for about 5 minutes.
9. Memory and cognitive ability have been proven to suffer with untreated hearing loss. I think this is another reason why I have APD (auditory processing disorder), on top of the damage that 2 concussions no doubt caused.

Ok, I think that just about sums it up for me! Working on out of the box solutions now because top of the line phonaks still do not allow me to hear conversations when there's any background noise and sometimes even with no background noise, depending on the person speaking. My solutions? Socialize more, use brain boosting programs, pursue musical interests (singing, playing piano, composing, recording), keep up on the latest hearing aid technology, join a deaf forum to try to learn from others in a similar situation, mindfulness practice, be present and aware in the moment. Accept where I am right now while throwing the book at my issues and having faith that they will improve my quality of life, if not by improving my hearing then at least helping me cope with the loss of it.
 
hohDougRN said:
I still get some anxieties when new physicians or nurses begin to work in my unit. I think it is a little bit of ego though. I feel I have to prove my skills and professional capabilities to anyone new. That can make me feel cold and insensitive.

For new AD'ers; I lost my hearing with one semester left in nursing school. I felt devestated. I went from being near 'overconfident' to completely insecure. After a couple years, I finally got HA's and it made a good difference with my private and professional life. My insecurities with some people remain. I still get angry and spitefull when it comes to music and singing. I loved to sing, but now I will NOT do it around anybody. Also, I think I have extreme insecurities with starting a relationship with anybody. I want to go to grad school SO bad to be doctor in genetics. I make excuses every year for not applying, but I really know inside my reason.
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I really hope you canwork your way through this,there are so many tools out there to help you be whatever, or whoever you want. We really do need more hoh,or deaf doctors and nurses for sure,a lot of them do not have any patience,and are not very kind to us, I and I know a lot of people here deal with this all the time.
 
Became HoH two years ago, lost my hearing completely a little over two months ago. Rejected and in fact hated almost to the point of flattery, by the local Deaf Community (and a few on Facebook). Seeking friends but seeking actual FRIENDS, not a group of hateful people who might deign to allow me to attend meetings. If I sound bitter, I am, and that's why. NOT regarding my hearing loss but by how the Deaf Community treats people who won't kneel to them. All I want is to learn PSE; it's faster and closer to my native language and isn't polluted with a Culture or a Community nor any resentment. I only want to learn how to communicate with people like me, who don't hear. Have been unable to find anyone to help.
 
Plasticmask said:
Became HoH two years ago, lost my hearing completely a little over two months ago. Rejected and in fact hated almost to the point of flattery, by the local Deaf Community (and a few on Facebook). Seeking friends but seeking actual FRIENDS, not a group of hateful people who might deign to allow me to attend meetings. If I sound bitter, I am, and that's why. NOT regarding my hearing loss but by how the Deaf Community treats people who won't kneel to them. All I want is to learn PSE; it's faster and closer to my native language and isn't polluted with a Culture or a Community nor any resentment. I only want to learn how to communicate with people like me, who don't hear. Have been unable to find anyone to help.
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There are many late-deafened members here...(me too).and I, too, was very bitter at what Life threw at me when I lost my own hearing, not knowing ASL at all. How are you at lip-reading?....and have you considered the Implant?...It takes time, patience, a big adjustment, I know...but it will all come together sooner or later. Life's too short to be bitter...Embrace it...there will be better days ahead and new friends to make. When Life throws you a curve...hit a home run!....
 
You don't understand. I'm not bitter about my hearing loss. I got past all of the "poor, poor me" weeks ago.
I actually enjoy how The Hearing go out of their way to over-accommodate me, and how my Boss gave me a promotion so that I wouldn't have to deal with the telephones nor the clients any longer. It's changing my life to a better one, changing ME into a better Man; even my WIFE of almost nine years, tells me how much more patient and "sweet" I've become since the hearing loss began a couple of years ago. It's only been two months of total deafness and I've already learned that I have powers of perception that The Hearing ignore because they depend so much on listening, thinking that it's all that they need.

No. What I'm bitter about is the Deaf Community. What I'm disgusted by, is Deaf Culture.
The "Big Adjustment" is finding out that being deaf isn't enough to get you accepted by other people who are deaf. I was appalled and shocked when I was all but bodily thrown out of some nearby Church that had a sign on the door, "Free ASL Beginner Classes, ALL ARE WELCOME." I wasn't dressed well enough, and I am not Christian by any stretch of it's definition... and most of the people in the room were Deaf Cultured and hated me the minute they saw my hearing aids. It was pure, naked hatred on their faces. I was asked to leave by FOUR PEOPLE before I stopped asking why, and just left.

Over and over and over, I'd ask myself, "But....but I'm deaf! Isn't that enough???" And the answer is oh hell no. It's not nearly enough.

One would think they'd welcome us all; yet they don't because I became deaf "too late" to have suffered through their miserable childhoods in the same exact ways that they did. Watching videos and reading about all of their horrid past and miserable childhoods and lousy lives just brings back flashbacks of my OWN childhood abuse and my OWN early adult struggles and I can't handle that so I had to insist on avoiding it. I can not STAND to be looked down on, I earned my PhD with BLOOD from bullies who drank and used weapons to illustrate their hatred of my not willing to let them cheat off of my papers... I had it WORSE than some of those Capital D deaf people but they don't give a rat's behind. So? Then why should I care about them or whatever may or may not have happened to them.

I got OVER my childhood traumas, at least mostly, especially when I see one of my childhood bullies mowing my lawn or picking up my garbage twice a week. Why couldn't THEY grow up too? I'll never know; I'm rejected by them. And THAT is what I'm bitter about. Bitter, and downright angry.

ALL I WANT is to be able to communicate with others like ME, who do not hear. They're no better nor less than I. We are all humans and we do not hear. But it's not enough.

Which brings me back to PSE. Am not finding any help anywhere.

Oh and I lipread fine; I'm in my 50's so English and most foreign accents are easily deciphered. But it's not the way I want to spend the rest of my life.
I want to learn to Sign, and YouTube videos and books just aren't enough. There isn't enough help out there.

Life is BETTER for me now, I'm ENHANCED and better liked. As far as my deafness and the Gifts that it's giving me, I look FORWARD to every morning to see what that day will bring me and where I can go shopping just to watch them fall over themselves trying to help me, even when usually I don't really need the help. So don't waste another minute worrying about that, not for me. I not only accept being deaf, I practically enjoy it. Even the music and the audio books that I had to delete, good money wasted over years and years because they're useless to me now... my Wife's voice, the water in my Koi pond trickling... even those are wistful feelings now, not sad ones. No, every day it gets better in that regard. The feeling of "loss", I mean. I'd had a little over two years to prepare for it, the Docs warned me that it was coming.

But thank you, even if you misunderstood, you took a lot of trouble to post that to me, and I appreciate it. No, Silence is Golden and I smile about it now that I've gotten over only a few hurdles.
 
rockin'robin said:
Wow!...Pure naked hatred for you because of the way you were dressed and wearing hearing aids? And you were thrown out?...Must be more to your story....
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Not buying it either. We have hundreds of Deaf people here where I live, as you know, and I've never seen anything like that. I wear HAs myself and nobody has ever ever treated me with any disrespect.
 
And hearing people falling all over in order to help you...LOL...We deafies (most of them that I know anyway) are proud and independent. We're deaf, remember? Not dumb....not helpless either. So what I really am gathering about your post and responses is that you are an angry and bitter man due to your hearing loss.....Furthermore, if you don't like the Deaf Culture, then find another group, such as the Hard of Hearing w/aids (as you said you wore). We are not here to teach you PSE...learn it on your own!..
 
rockin'robin said:
And hearing people falling all over in order to help you...LOL...We deafies (most of them that I know anyway) are proud and independent. We're deaf, remember? Not dumb....not helpless either. So what I really am gathering about your post and responses is that you are an angry and bitter man due to your hearing loss.....Furthermore, if you don't like the Deaf Culture, then find another group, such as the Hard of Hearing w/aids (as you said you wore). We are not here to teach you PSE...learn it on your own!..
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He probably went to the ASL class and asked them to teach him PSE. :shock:
 
Culturally deaf in a beginner's ASL class? That's kind of odd. It may have been a get together for deaf rather than an beginner's ASL class. Newly deaf or oral deaf I can see in a beginner's ASL class sure. How you were dressed... well unless you were wearing speedos I find it hard to think one would be kicked out for what they were wearing- same for being Christian or not a Christian... how would they know you aren't unless you volunteered that info?

Sure I've heard of culturally deaf being... snobby/hateful etc but in general I have hardly ever come across that kind of attitude (I grew up oral deaf). Plus usually there are other reasons why some culturally deaf might be snooty or hateful. Including but not limited to in reaction to how others treat them.

Look around.. the Dallas/Fort Worth area does have a fairly big deaf community so I doubt it would be hard to find an ASL class that would suit you.
 
I have no issues with anyone.. I grew up oral deaf and started learning SEE when I was 2, now signing PSE. No problem communicating with interpreter and d/Deaf people.. it takes patience to communicate and understand one another.

Plasticmask sound like a bitter person with his long rant post.
 
I am late-deafened as well. I have lived in many states. In nearly every state I have been in I have had good experience. The only exception is CT - specifically in and around ASD. It is not just toward late-deafened; others who grew up oral or mainstreamed have mentioned being shunned by the ASD crowd. I now live in MA. It is one of the most welcoming places. In all of the activities that I have attended, the only thing that matters is that you sign (ASL, PSE, SEE), doesn't matter if hearing or deaf/hh, doesn't matter if fluent or a newbie student. Just making the attempt to sign in some visual way and you are greeted with open arms.
 
This has been my experience too..what Zephren, AC and other mentioned...I'm hoh and sign poorly, haven't been able to continue in ASL for a consistently long period of time to get very good. But I try, and I don't bring an angry attitude around. People have always been very welcoming.
 
As I have mentioned in other posted, if you cannot find a community near you, why not create your own. You could create a Sign Language meetup group and see if anyone wants to join. In your group summary, make it clear that all signing is welcome and that is not an ASL-only group.

For some late-deafened, you may find more similar life experiences by creating a social group with a mix of sign language students and mainstream deaf.

Also, as far as classes, there are people that teach PSE. You may just have to do more looking around and ask questions about the curriculum beforehand to see what is being taught.
 
Wow. Well, I'm sorry. I'm in the wrong Forum, as most of you have said. There was some more to it, but to be called a liar and asked to leave... Please accept my apologies for whomever I've insulted, and please accept my forgiveness for those who I seem to have entertained. I should have known; it's a Forum. The Fish Forums are always the same way. Too many who drink and type, and too many others who just want to be hateful or argue. I'll leave you all in peace. Shalom.
 
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