Lily7

My apologies if this video has been posted elsewhere, I did a search and scanned this forum and didn't see it. It's just too good not to post. I wish someone had said something like this to my mother when I was a child. This is a matter close to my heart since she didn't let me learn to sign and it more or less ruined my life. I know she meant well, but she didn't know any better. I am so, so glad this video exists.

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Deafness

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CSign

I only got to watch part of the video as I really should be getting ready to go, but... What I saw was great. It was also good that there were subtitles for newly identified parents who aren't familiar with ASL. He made some really good points.

DeafCaroline

Thank you for posting this - I just re-posted on my Facebook wall.

posts from hell

He's a nice guy, glad to see him

Wonderful video.

ash345

how is it that you know everyone? I've wondered that for some time... I don't doubt you know him... but still... how do you seem to know... everyone...

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posts from hell

Going to big deaf events here and there over the years adds up.

rebeccalj

Thank you for posting that!

It make me wonder if reason I seem to do well academically is *because* I have sign for at least first 4-5 years of life.

Frustrate, always, that language taken away but, wow, he brings up great points about how kid with ASL excel, proven in studies, over kids who are not given access to natural language for them.

Lavender

.

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Lily7

Well, at least elaborate, lol

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posts from hell

damn, thanks for making me spill my Naked Protein Zone drink all over the screen.

DeafCaroline

What made you spill it? I am confused by Lavender's post.

posts from hell

I had to laugh hard at it.

rebeccalj

Confused by it.

posts from hell

I just think Lavender is one of these non ASL users feeling threatened.

Bottesini

I thought she's a CSDR graduate.

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posts from hell

she is? wow. now im deffo confused.

DeafCaroline

I'm curious to hear her elaborate. I didn't learn ASL growing up either and only started learning English when I was nearly four. I did well because I had AVT 3-4 hours a day, 7 days a week, my mother was an English teacher and there was absolutely nothing to do way out in the countryside but read books since there were no computers or CC's or anything like that when I was a kid.

However, that was my own upbringing and it's not like that for other deaf kids, some read more or less than others, some had more intensive AVT than others, some had no social life whatsoever and books were their own salvation whereas for another kid, it might be jumping out their bedroom window to go hang out with horses at the farm up the road or whatever. We are all different and grew up differently and it's very easy to understand why, generally speaking, it would have been advantageous to a deaf child to learn ASL that would make it easier for them to acquire cognitive language abilities that would make learning English (or other languages) far easier. If I hadn't had a very very intensive AVT upbringing combined with reading a book a day, I'm dead certain I would have been more delayed in English language skills especially since it was my first language that I only started learning nearly 4 years after birth.

One can't use their own upbringing and think it's the same for everyone else. It all depends on factors and variables.

Lily7

I agree, and my story is similar to yours, but I still don't think ANY deaf child should EVER be denied the ability to learn and use sign language, regardless of whatever else their parents are doing. I'm glad I can lip read as well as I do because of my oralist upbringing but it would have been nice to be able to learn sign alongside that, and I'm not just judging all this based on my upbringing. It's just kind of common sense. I can't imagine nor have I ever seen anyone say "well, my upbringing is different than yours, I am glad I wasn't allowed to learn sign".

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shel90

My deaf brother is the same way. He seems to know everyone and everyone seems to know him.

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DeafCaroline

I did think that for a while.

rebeccalj

For me, signing is less tiring (than speaking) and so much easier for communication. Do not need to ramble? on with lots of useless words to make point.

Plus, I've always been, how say, artistic so love to describe. Maybe ASL beginning contributed to that, too. Ha! Maybe my Mum knew what she was doing afterall.

shel90

No, it is not. I have personally seen that in real life with all of the students I have worked with. Those, especially from Deaf families, who were exposed to ASL during that age, had no language nor critical thinking difficulties later on in life.

Call that bullshit, then you are supporting the language deprivation of deaf children.

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rebeccalj

Could be a 'defense mechanism?' Maybe deep down really want ASL but, because you do not have, try to convince it is no big deal?

DeafCaroline

Probably. shel90 would probably get what I mean - being able to speak well and doing well in school academically was all I had to salvage my ego. My mindset was very much that I was superior to deaf people who didn't speak well and communicated in sign only. I needed, after a lifetime of feeling inferior to the hearing, some sense of superiority to some other group of people and in this case, it was the deaf community. Was raised with "you're so lucky you're not one of them who can't talk or do anything. You're so special, so smart, so talented you can speak and go to normal schools..." when this is ingrained into your psyche from birth, it does get ingrained and it took a long long time to get it un-embedded from my pscyche and conscience and consciously acknowlege that apparently, being able to speak but still not able to hear that funny joke someone said that made everyone but me crack up isn't that special after all.

rebeccalj

I understand completely. I was raised with same, how do you say, superiority complex that acting 'hearie' equal better than Deaf ASL users. Took a number of years for soul searching to realize that nobody superior. We all same. Humans. Just that Deaf have a very unique way of looking at the world. A unique way that *I* prefer.

Also, just because parents take natural language away from me at 5 does not mean it ever leave me. Always *feel* that speaking wrong language. Like pretending to be something that I am not. A fake. Now? Wow! *SO* different and feel home again. Like back in real body and not pretend one.

shel90

Oh my gosh..you and I are mirror images of each other!

Yes, I looked down on those who had no speech skills, including my own deaf brother. Sad, isnt it?

That's the kind of damage this oralism philosophy can do. I want it banned.

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DeafCaroline

I want it banned too. It's so wrong.

Lily7

Same here, actually, except despite all that I kept coming back to "but I have no friends" and as I got older, "but I have no social life" - I knew that something was wrong there because of that, so I always had this tiny thread hanging on to "I should have gotten to learn sign." But the errant thought process that I was one of the "lucky ones" overrode it most of the time, mainly because it was the only way I could cope with the subconscious bitterness, you know, by trying to believe the lie. Eventually the lack of a social life shattered it, even though I always knew it was a lie anyway. I guess it was more of a "look the other way because I felt too helpless to change anything" thing.

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DeafCaroline

I had no social life either which probably explains why I was so boy-crazy as a teenager, started dating big time at the age of 14 - it was to get that positive attention and companionship. It was a very nice change from being a social reject. Fortunately, the summer between grade 10 and 11 was when I made two very good friends and I'm still best friends with them to this day

rebeccalj

Geez, do I *ever* know that feeling! Seem easier, when still under parents roof, to just 'go along' with it until you free to change it. Because do not have 'voice' in home. Problem was, my Mum still continue bullshit even when I am grown. *Finally* get hearing aides, in early 30s, and feel like whole new world open to me and *so* excited to tell her. Her comment, "Well, I hope you don't let anyone see them."

I eventually stop using HA, except for meeting, not because what she say, because proudly show them off, but because find uncomfortable to wear for long period of time and feel them useless. Just magnify what I cannot understand anyhow.