faire_jour

Ok, so I do have a problem.

So, Miss Kat is in an oral deaf ed school, with ASL pull outs with a Teacher of the Deaf (who is Deaf herself). We still have weekly playdates with her friends from the bi-bi school, and attend Deaf community activites. We still atend a Deaf church, in which services are in ASL too. Also, Hubby and I still sign 99% of what we say, and even go voice off for at least an hour everyday. But Miss Kat is resisting

She tells us to "Stop signing, I can hear you" I do NOT want the ASL to stop. We have had some trouble with her wanting to talk in front of signers (she said "I can talk and she can't understand me, it'll be a secret) and we are niping that in the bud! But I need some help on how to show her the benefit of ASL.

We haven't stopped when she asks us too, and sometimes she is ok, but other times she gets really mad.

Help!!

Deafness

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Lissa

Hmm, I dont know about this. It is FANTASTIC that you are raising Miss Kat to know both languages so when she is older she can decide to drop 1 if she wants.

Maybe stop if Miss Kat asks you to stop but carry on with the ASL church, play dates and ASL activities? Maybe Miss Kat just wants to focus on oral language at the moment. Or you just could tell her that her mommy and daddy wants her to use ASL.

Although I am quite fluent in BSL, I do wish my parents brought me up with both! Because I do struggle sometimes communicating with dea people who are FULL on BSL users.

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Lighthouse77

she probably embarrassed to be deaf. She probably want to be treated as a hearing person for the moment. I did.. then I realize how much communication I needed back in those days. just sign to her whenever she misunderstood you or feeling overwhelmed with communication.

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Lighthouse77

did she say about about a deaf signer? sounds like she need to know what it is like people who think they can say anything they want because they think they can't hear them. it is really not very nice.

She need to realize if her battery went dead, and her friends knew that.. how would she feel they think they can talk about her all they want right in front of her face. They wouldn't do it if she could hear.

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Frisky Feline

*delete*

Follow your mother instincts to see what she would like to prefer with her method of communication.

faire_jour

She's not embarrassed to be deaf, how can she be? All her friends are deaf, she very rarely plays with any hearing kids. She just seems really proud to be able to hear.

faire_jour

We told her that it was very rude and that it would no be tolerated.

sallylou

Would she like to tchose when she uses ASL. Maybe she could teach a non-ASL person to sign? Then, she would be in control of the situation. My kids have to have some input into the situation. For example, I say would you like to practice your math on the white board or on the computer? Maybe let your daughter chose when she wants to use ASL? Just a thought.

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Frisky Feline

Oh, then maybe she knows you guys can speak then she chose it to speak with you. If she use asl to her friends she would. it seems to me that it depends on her mood to talk with who.

Lissa

Miss Kat sounds like me. She probably knows you're not deaf so doesnt want to sign but will sign with deaf people.
When I was little I spoke at home and signed at school

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Bottesini

Now that she is in oral school, and gets a pull out for ASL, I am sure it makes her feel different. And if there is one thing little kids hate, it is feeling different.

I am sure in time she will get over it, or if she doesn't and she is right and she can hear everything she will manage that way if she wants too.

A lot of things really need to be individual choice and not imposed.

I am a combo of oral and signing for the parts I don't get, and I am perfectly content that way usually.

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AlleyCat

She's 5 years old, lighthouse. I don't think Miss Kat understands the concept here yet as to how to be embarrased at this age about hearing issues. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Anyways I am very glad for you, FJ, that you're trying to keep ASL in the loop here. I suspect it is a age-stubborness thing, that she will outgrow this in time and accept using both languages. I remember being at age 5 that I would say "NO" to mom about things ..

deafdyke

That could be a part of the problem. Unfortunatly, many oral schools have this attitude (a lot of time that's unspoken) that Sign is not a good thing. It could be that Miss Kat picked up on that. You know....she thinks " the adults I see every day at school have me talk talk talk. I don't need sign any more. I can hear!"
I have to say that I think most dhh kids should be exposed to a bilingal option until they are at least ten or eleven.
She's still really young.....Continue the ASL until she's a bit older and can really decide. Right now she thinks " I can hear and talk......I don't need sign."
Maybe show her that even thou she can hear pretty well with CI, it's useful to have Sign to fill in the blanks........you know....does she have any interaction with people who aren't too familiar with how to interact with dhh folks? She may think " I can hear and talk. I don't need ASL b/c everyone understands me." Not quite. Many people who aren't familiar with dhh speech often times have trouble understanding ME. Heck when I'd return to camp or college (hearing) people would very often have to get used to understanding my speech again.
Maybe she's seeing things in binaries....." Oh I can talk or sign but I can't do both"
Does she know any hoh but Sign any way adults? Maybe they can tell her that it's fun to be a part of both worlds. She can hear.......but that doesn't make her "Hearing"......It makes her hard of hearing. We can hear and talk.....but we still experiance a lot of being deaf (even with a hearing aid or a CI!)
Maybe play a game with her........Show her that Sign is useful and fun...."Look without your CI, we can still talk! See? In noisy situtions we can still have a conversation!"
I think that you should still push ASL...It's still possible that she'll need a 'terp for group sittuions. Even a lot of "oral sucesses" need 'terps for group situtions. ....It's also pretty unusal to have complete and total access to the hearing world b/c of oral skills. ....ASL abilty will really help her socially too....you know....Even many if not most oral kids have social issues.

inmate23

This is a hard one and normally the other way round.

Heres what would do

Try total communtion at home

shel90

I agree with many others...most of the posts have good suggestions. Good luck!

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deafdude1

She won't forget her ASL, it's her native language. So she uses ASL less around you since she may find it easier to actually listen/hear. You did get her a CI so she could hear speech. But around her deaf friends she uses ASL. I never had an interest in learning ASL. I had no problem reading my parents lips from a very young age. Lipreading, just like ASL is another way to communicate. My parents actually want me to wear my HAs more but I have no trouble reading lips without HAs. It is my choice not to wear HAs if I don't feel like it. Miss Kat has the choice not to sign and to listen if she feels like it. She won't forget her sign language just as I won't forget how to read lips.

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JennyB

She could very well forget ASL. This is yet another thing you are not qualified to speak to. The lexicon from one language can very well atrophy to make room for what becomes the new 1st language. It happens a lot.

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jillio

Hmmm...since this is something that is recent, do you think it could possibly be the influence of being in an oral classroom all day? She is adjusting to that new environment after having been in a bi-bi environment, and all kids will do whatever they think is necessary to fit into their environment. Just keep signing, and give her some time to adjust.

faire_jour

It started during the summer, but it is much worse now. I hope it is just a phase.

Bottesini

I think she is proud of her new skill. If she can really do it, it isn't hurting anything. If she forgets ASL, she can pick it up again later.

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jillio

Ahhh, but this summer, she was at John Tracy in an oral environment for awhile, wasn't she? But her exposure is intensified since school started. I'm sure it is just a matter of adjustment to a new environment and testing her skills. As long as you continue to sign, she will move on through the phase. It is the newness of it all.

dreama

That's probably it. She's just picking up signals that speaking is cool at the moment.

However, she's still a little young to decide to drop ASL.

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deafdyke

Exactly! Thank you jillo!!!! Continue Signing.......and hopefully something will click in her head and she'll realize she can do both.

deafdyke

It's really too bad that you weren't able to do the split placement or move.
I think if she was in a split placement she wouldn't be saying stuff like " don't sign....I can hear you!"
You know.....I remember as a five/six year old a Deaf girl moved in. I remember thinking " Oh I don't need Sign.....I'm "normal" The trouble is that little kids can pick up on what adults think is "normal"/ special needs or not.
And you have to admit there's a HUGE stigma in using "special needs" sorts of things.