souggy

When I was teaching someone how to sign over the Thanksgiving break last year, she was interested in learning-- however she had a hard time wrapping her head around the language. However she is a poor English speaker, and a poor writer at that despite that English is her first and only language, so I suppose I should had saw that coming.

Anyway, she got so frustrated, she grabbed my hands, told me to stop and mouthed "you might as well teach me Klingon" then asked me to leave the apartment. Which I did. When I came back, it was an awkward 5 hours before I caught the bus to go home. I checked to see if she actually did say that by asking on MSN Messenger a few weeks later if she was still interested in learning ASL, but then in text it shows up again: "you might as well teach me Klingon."

However, why does that phrase still anger me today? "You might as well teach me Klingon?" I know she meant that she is unlikely to meet another signer in middle of nowhere since she lived in a small town at the time. But... it just odd that I find "you might as well teach me Klingon" offensive, and is still angry about it to this today.

Is my bitterness justifiable?

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Deafness

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mariano

Cause it is a stupid remark on her part. It also sounds like she was rude about it-asking you to leave the apartment so abruptly and all.

CJB

Is Klingon a real natural-occurring language? No. Maybe the fact that she saw ASL as a sort of fictional half-baked language?

How is she related to you? I get annoyed when people in my every day life make absolutely no effort to learn even a few basic signs or the alphabet because they see nothing wrong with expecting me to do all the work.

sallylou

She obviously isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. Was she completely overwhelmed? Maybe it raised her anxiety level off the charts? It's not an excuse for her rude behavior but it would make sense.

Don't let this experience upset you. I'd love for you to teach me and I'm sure that a lot of other people feel the same way.

Reba

Maybe she meant that ASL was as extremely "foreign" to her as the Klingon language would be to an Earthling that it was beyond her comprehension.

If someone isn't fluent in his/her own language, attaining fluency in a new language is more difficult. From your description, it seems she might not be fluent in English.

Bottesini

Do you speak Klingon?

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It's a joke Nathan!

shel90

If she is not fluent in her first language, she will have a hard time learning other languages. She probably doesnt understand that that kind of remark is rude.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Reba

GHHOBEH.

LEARN KLINGON!

souggy

Thanks for responding, I didn't respond earlier since I wanted let my thoughts stew for a bit. Most things were passive, so I don't get to encounter direct comments like that in my life.

When I brought it up during a therapy session once a few months ago, the psychologist suggested it is not so much the Klingon comment that bother me but perhaps rather the physical act of grabbing my hands since stopping a Deaf person from signing is akin to rape on a psychological level. However that therapist is not really trained to deal with deaf clients, so I am not really sure what to make of her assessment. So I rather hear what you guys have to say.

That would make sense since all I did was teach her one to ten and the ABC's. It just such an unusual reaction for me because I can count about 50 individuals, all with their own individual learning needs and none of them had outlashed like that and shut me out after learning the numbers and alphabets.

That might be why. Not so much she saw ASL as fictional, but the fact that it was compared to a fictional language. I wasn't offended when Albertans said that ASL would receive just as little usage as French in their home towns. And that is understandable why they are not interested.

Former friend. We stopped talking when I got tired of the communications barrier and expressed it in a passive-aggressive way. Man, I would be happy if someone would even bother using the Rochester Method-- which is not preferable, but doable for me (it was the communication method used by my grandmother's neighbour.)

I agree with you both. I just never really thought of it because she caught onto new art techniques quite quickly and incorporate non-verbal behaviour into her life easily so I know she is not stupid. However I suppose lingual and conceptual acquisitions are different from artistic acquisition.

Anyway, thanks. Posting about this lifted a lot from my head.

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Lighthouse77

Personally, I think the way you spoke about her here how she can't learn regular English gives me a clue why she made you leave. I usually can tell that line of thinking from someone even though they never said it.

People who don't think anything of how another person read and write have a better patience than people who cared too much of another person's intelligent.

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Bottesini

Cool , thanks Reba.

Apologies to OP for off topic a little.

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It's a joke Nathan!

souggy

No worries. It is on-topic. And I like jokes.

Nowhere I didn't say she couldn't learn proper English-- just she is a poor speaker and a poor writer as in "not well-received." She speak better than I do, phonetically. For the most part, our thought processes are the same in term of reading, writing and speaking. The difference between us is that a lot of people take offence to her wordings due to poor word choice and unconventional grammar.

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Loghead

Friends don't treat friends like that. That is a very harsh and rude thing for her to do, especially since she inquired about it. I'm the type of person that is "one-chance" and I don't let stuff like that fly... I just think that people should always give other people respect regardless.

Lighthouse77

So you mean she doesn't think before she speak?

most people feel funny about learning sign languages anyway. It's too weird for them

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sallylou

I should have known that a Klingon tutorial existed on the intertubes.

I don't think that the rape analogy is a valid one but you were silenced. Being silenced is upsetting. Glad you're feeling better.

souggy

I wouldn't it that crudely, since it is a weird concept: "doesn't think before speaking."

Addendum: I just know that people who have a well-developed lexicon and employ them in their everyday writing tend not to be as blatantly offensive. But yes.

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Lighthouse77

believe me, even with their fancy writing and they can word it all they want, but I still find it offensive.

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CJB

Your therapist has an excellent point! I must have missed that in the original post. I would be furious if someone held my hands to stop me from signing! I don't know if you're communicating with her still but if you are, you should explain that stopping a Deaf person from signing is like covering a hearing person's mouth when they're trying to speak.

By the way I agree with you -- I'll settle for the Rochester method if I have to as long as I am not expected to do all the effort in understanding.

CJB

LDNanna

Yes, CJB, like muzzling a hearing person. Like putting hands over hearing persons mouth. Most everyone would consider that to be very offensive. In fact, I could not think of how any person would not be offended by this action. Like being told to shut up.
Souggy, you were right to be offended. It was an offensive act. With no apology it was difficult for closure, especially after she confirmed her comment in text.

shel90

When I brought it up during a therapy session once a few months ago, the psychologist suggested it is not so much the Klingon comment that bother me but perhaps rather the physical act of grabbing my hands since stopping a Deaf person from signing is akin to rape on a psychological level. However that therapist is not really trained to deal with deaf clients, so I am not really sure what to make of her assessment. So I rather hear what you guys have to say.

Ohhh if someone did that to me, I WILL lose my temper and could resort to some behaviors I normally dont act on. That goes way way way beyond disrespect...way beyond.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

souggy

I apologize guys for not making things more clear. It is in there in my original post:

"Anyway, she got so frustrated, she grabbed my hands, told me to stop and mouthed"

Only reason why it didn't come to light was because I wasn't sure if it was the place or time to bring up several weeks worth of sessions about this event in my life on a public forum. However the feelings association with those seven words repeating in my head most likely masked the root of it.

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CJB

Oh I see.

yizuman

Q'PLA!

Yiz

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