My view on sign language/non sign language with CI.

I decide to make my own thread to express out my feeling. This is not for argue or offend. I want to explain to you how I feeling. I am growing up being deaf and know sign language. My whole family are hearing expect me and my little cousin. My hearing cousins do know sign languages. They love to communicate with me. Other my cousin forced her son to get CI when he was 15 months old. Her name is Kristi. She isn't my favorite cousin. We are in enemy. My whole family doesn't like her personality. She isn't interesting to learn sign language to communicate with me. She is very narrow-minded and standoffish about deaf community. She didn't want to learn sign language. It hurt me a lot. She think i did bad and into deaf community. She think I am control over her and her son between. She is very younger mother! She never married and have a son. His name is Rylin. He is 5 years old now. Kristi isn't allow him to learn sign language to communicate. I found it out Rylin's school do have sign language. He was shy to learn sign language. He wasn't in mood to anyone with sign language. When I am teaching him how to learn sign language with abc, color, animals. He think it's boring. I am feeling about his mom isn't allow anyone to teach him how to sign language. She is so narrow-minded. (sighing) When I found it out Rylin was born deaf with 90 percent. Kristi got scared and into denial about her son is deaf. She didn't want anyone to mention about her son "Deaf" IT make her angry! She can be cocky! Rylin got first hearing aids when he was baby. HA didn't help him to hear better. Kristi kept speak to him. He didn't understand what his mom say. She forced him to get a CI to hear without use sign language. He is very emotional and being bad boy. He beated up his little cousin. I told him to stop hurt that girl. He said "NO! POINT @ YOU" I was alike whoa! I can't tell him to stop it or No no. because of his mom is around and his grandpa is around. It drove me nuts! I didn't understand why Kristi refused to learn sign language? My other cousins are heartbroke with Kristi for refused to learn sign language. The sign language is very important to communicate to other deaf and hoh. I didn't agree with Rylin's doctor said, "Rylin don't need to learn sign language unless he get a CI" Doctor is wrong!!!! Why I can't communicate with Rylin with sign language because his mom isn't allow me??? Sign language isn't hard to learn. It's not hurt. :roll: What should I do?? My husband said Kristi is wrong for not let Rylin to learn sign language. He is feeling bad for him. He said, "you can't change them just let them go. Rylin is not your child. If we have a child and must teach sign language at early age. It can show to Kristi of my kids' sign language and speak so fast. It make Kristi feel stupid." (sighing)

What do you think??

He is very emotional and being bad boy. He beated up his little cousin.

Click to expand...

Ding ding ding...........that's a warning sign that he might actually be expending too much energy on speech. Behavoiral issues can be VERY common among mainstreamed and oral kids. Point that out to Kristi that another good tool might help him behave better.I know some parents seem to think that oral only is automaticly going to be a ticket to a better education. Not so......
Maybe show Rylin the fun parts of Sign. Have him turn off his CI and SHOW him that he can "talk" WITHOUT his CI!!!!

Well He can speak very good. He got 2 CI. Of course, He have 2 much energy. His mom isn't good discipline to him. She was preg when she was 16 and give him a birth when she was 17. He have no father. That's sad! How I feeling about him to learn sign language. I don't think he will to remove his CI. He like to wear it. That's his decide. But I offer for him to learn sign language that all. Take their time. I can't tell them to do. That's their life not mine. You know I mean.

deafdyke said:

Ding ding ding...........that's a warning sign that he might actually be expending too much energy on speech. Behavoiral issues can be VERY common among mainstreamed and oral kids. Point that out to Kristi that another good tool might help him behave better.I know some parents seem to think that oral only is automaticly going to be a ticket to a better education. Not so......
Maybe show Rylin the fun parts of Sign. Have him turn off his CI and SHOW him that he can "talk" WITHOUT his CI!!!!

Click to expand...

Can you answer my question?? I need to find an answer from everyone's post.

I think all children with CIs should be exposed to ASL at the most earliest. It's not fair on them when their parents and so-called experts denied them the right to ASL.

Rylin needs consistent discipline and ASL, too. Though, counseling wouldn't hurt because it seems that he hates his deaf identity and is on his way to being a very angry young man.

I agree with you. That how I feeling. The best for children to have use ASL while they are wear CI same as hearing aids. I was mad at Rylin's mom for not discipline. It's all her faulted for not use sign language to communicate with him! She will be 23 next month. That's so sad for her have no boyfriend because of her attitude. I can't do anything for Rylin. He isn't my child. I wish he would learning sign language. I did taught him not in front of his mom. He didn't realize about sign language and speak. Kristi is treating her son like a stupid!

Miss-Delectable said:

I think all children with CIs should be exposed to ASL at the most earliest. It's not fair on them when their parents and so-called experts denied them the right to ASL.

Rylin needs consistent discipline and ASL, too. Though, counseling wouldn't hurt because it seems that he hates his deaf identity and is on his way to being a very angry young man.

Click to expand...

My opinion

You know, you are the cousin who knows ASL and they know you know this. I think the more you concentrate on how this bothers you the more upset you get. Listen to your husband,, let it go, your heart is in the right place but there is nothing you can do about it, you already tried.
One day, if your cousin wakes up and realizes that her son will benefit with learning ASL, they will maybe come to you or maybe not, but for now, go on with yr life and it will help you a lot if you drop this....and just hope for the best for your cousins and let it go. You have a happy life ahead of you!

Amen Pinky.

When I saw the movie "Sound and Fury part 1" I did not like the fact that most of those children with cochlear implant had no knowledge of ASL or The Deaf Culture. It tear my heart in pieces. The hearing parents in that movie did not think it was even necessary for their children to use ASL. They were so focus on listening with the ears and using the voice. I don't believe in limiting communication tools, The hearing parents in the movie are overall ignorance. I give that movie a thumb down in my opinion.

If I was you, I wouldn't go against the mother's wishes and be sneaky behind her back. If you have a problem, go talk to her. Don't take your frustration on the child. I don't think I like it too much if the school went against my mother's wishes and send me to a deaf school if she feels strongly against it. I would be one confused child.

A child's behavior only get worst when people teach him to not trust or listen to his mother (except for child abuse)

This doesn't mean you are not allow to use sign languages around her child because it is your only way to communicate. The child will pick up on that without you telling her that her mother is wrong.

He is 5 half years old. His mom still spank on his butt for being bad boy. She is only 23 years old and younger mother. You should read my post.

I can't talk to her about how I feeling. If I offer her to use sign language. She will get MAD easy. I don't really like her personality. Her personality is moody and emotional.

Rainshower77 said:

If I was you, I wouldn't go against the mother's wishes and be sneaky behind her back. If you have a problem, go talk to her. Don't take your frustration on the child. I don't think I like it too much if the school went against my mother's wishes and send me to a deaf school if she feels strongly against it. I would be one confused child.

A child's behavior only get worst when people teach him to not trust or listen to his mother (except for child abuse)

This doesn't mean you are not allow to use sign languages around her child because it is your only way to communicate. The child will pick up on that without you telling her that her mother is wrong.

Click to expand...

My cousin refused to learn sign language to communicate with me and her son. She is very standoffish with deaf community. Let her go. I can't do anything with them. I don't like how my cousin treated me a stupid as retard and fool me.

I let them go. If I have baby. I will teach my baby to learn sign language real early. It make my cousin feel stupid! My future kids learn sign language by me and my husband.

Sweetpolly said:

You know, you are the cousin who knows ASL and they know you know this. I think the more you concentrate on how this bothers you the more upset you get. Listen to your husband,, let it go, your heart is in the right place but there is nothing you can do about it, you already tried.
One day, if your cousin wakes up and realizes that her son will benefit with learning ASL, they will maybe come to you or maybe not, but for now, go on with yr life and it will help you a lot if you drop this....and just hope for the best for your cousins and let it go. You have a happy life ahead of you!

Click to expand...

I think you have to realize that mothers have feelings too. Whether or not we admit it. Whether we understand it or not. Parents can get angry and emotional about their children being deaf. It doesn't matter if their family have deaf family members like Sound and Fury Mari's parents are deaf, but she still choose to implant her deaf twin son. She has her feelings.

I don't think that her son's behavior has anything to do with his CI. I think the son is misbehaving because the mother doesn't discipline her son when he needs it. He picks up his behavior from her, too.

There's really nothing much you can do, but do not feel intimidated to be yourself and sign. Maybe she will relax when she realizes her son is doing well. Try to be positive and supportive to her like comment her on how good he is doing. There's no point in criticizing her choice in raising her deaf son.

Miss-Delectable said:

I think all children with CIs should be exposed to ASL at the most earliest. It's not fair on them when their parents and so-called experts denied them the right to ASL.

Rylin needs consistent discipline and ASL, too. Though, counseling wouldn't hurt because it seems that he hates his deaf identity and is on his way to being a very angry young man.

Click to expand...

Aye! Anyone with CI's should be exposed with CI's so they can have wide options to communicate since without CI, they are deaf, full stop.

My cousin's son isn't a twin.

ClearSky said:

I think you have to realize that mothers have feelings too. Whether or not we admit it. Whether we understand it or not. Parents can get angry and emotional about their children being deaf. It doesn't matter if their family have deaf family members like Sound and Fury Mari's parents are deaf, but she still choose to implant her deaf twin son. She has her feelings.

I don't think that her son's behavior has anything to do with his CI. I think the son is misbehaving because the mother doesn't discipline her son when he needs it. He picks up his behavior from her, too.

There's really nothing much you can do, but do not feel intimidated to be yourself and sign. Maybe she will relax when she realizes her son is doing well. Try to be positive and supportive to her like comment her on how good he is doing. There's no point in criticizing her choice in raising her deaf son.

Click to expand...

JClarke said:

Aye! Anyone with CI's should be exposed with CI's so they can have wide options to communicate since without CI, they are deaf, full stop.

Click to expand...

Not necessarily.. have a look here..

Cloggy said:

Not necessarily.. have a look here..

Click to expand...

Interesting - your points are valid.

JClarke said:

Interesting - your points are valid.

Click to expand...

Nothing more than supposition on the part of a wishful thinking hearing parent, jclarke. If anything, it is an indication that for comprehension, visual cues are necessary.

Strange, but true, during the period I was deaf, my mind would perceive sound of any visual cues. When I either tried to read lips or comprehend what was being signed, my mind would fill in their voice as if I was actually hearing them. When I noticed this effect, I wondered if it applied to environmental sounds. Sure enough, when I went to the theater, I could have sworn I heard explosions, screaming, occasional voices off the film. Once someone told me birds were chirping outside, and my mind started chirping as if I suddenly hear them. I think one has to have had some residual hearing before going completely deaf, that's how one can perceive sound not ectually being heard. One thing though, when I met someone new during the time I was deaf, my mind instantly gave them a voice. I have never met them before, but my mind perceives it as if I heard this person before. Sometimes my mind would be like a radio playing parts of music I've heard before. It's a very strange effect.

SCBassist said:

Strange, but true, during the period I was deaf, my mind would perceive sound of any visual cues. When I either tried to read lips or comprehend what was being signed, my mind would fill in their voice as if I was actually hearing them. When I noticed this effect, I wondered if it applied to environmental sounds. Sure enough, when I went to the theater, I could have sworn I heard explosions, screaming, occasional voices off the film. Once someone told me birds were chirping outside, and my mind started chirping as if I suddenly hear them. I think one has to have had some residual hearing before going completely deaf, that's how one can perceive sound not ectually being heard. One thing though, when I met someone new during the time I was deaf, my mind instantly gave them a voice. I have never met them before, but my mind perceives it as if I heard this person before. Sometimes my mind would be like a radio playing parts of music I've heard before. It's a very strange effect.

Click to expand...

Hearing people will do the same thing. We will speak with someone on the phone, and never having seen them, will assign a "face" to them from simply hearing their voice.

JClarke said:

Aye! Anyone with CI's should be exposed with CI's so they can have wide options to communicate since without CI, they are deaf, full stop.

Click to expand...

U mean ASL, right? ".....exposed with CI,.....".

jillio said:

Hearing people will do the same thing. We will speak with someone on the phone, and never having seen them, will assign a "face" to them from simply hearing their voice.

Click to expand...

Or announcers on the radio. How many times I've seen the real face and been shocked at how different it was from the face I'd imagined!