Age Guidelines Books ~ are they accurrate?

RainGurl · 08-09-2006, 11:52 AM

I am kind of annoyed at my friend right now. Only because of how she keeps bringing up that her daughter is only 7 months behind on her speech and language. She bought this book that shows you what ages certain langugage, and etc is expected. She wanted her to go to the same school as my youngest since its a preschool program for the deaf and hard of hearing. My middlest went there as well, it's a great program. Well she says she is going to put her in a preschool program (regular one) and then into school. I warn her that sure she may catch up but there are gonna be times she falls behind. Especially in school. She says oh it's because your lil one has too much hearing loss and mine only has a 45 dL. I am proud of my decision, my child is being exposed to the deaf community. Teachers are trained and qualified to work with these types of children. They are learning skills for future situation (I can't hear you inless you are facing me, etc..). Skills that the real world still FAILS to ACKNOWLEDGE. She is so hyped up over how she is going to be "caught up" ..I keep telling her once she is in school, and they do not provide the necessary help she will fall behind. Inless these teachers are all for advocating for your child. Anyhow, I just don't see how this lil girl is going to make it. She barely talks when she wants something, she screams so loud. She refuses to talk when know how to. She signs, and yet she will get no support that of a regular school for that. But it's her choice, I can see the dangerous down the road.

I am not jealous I just wish that she would realize that just because she may get caught up language wise..then kick into the real program in the regular schools she is expecting something that is not going to happen.

robbielyn · 08-09-2006, 12:13 PM

45 decible loss is a moderate loss. She should not underestimate the problems of misunderstanding spoken communication her daughter will encounter. And maybe her hearing will get worse. Maybe the young girl screams so much because maybe she cant hear what mom is saying. Teaching her asl would be great and at the same time talk to her. Total communication covers all the bases. It would be nice it this could happen for her at school as well. But it is her decision. No matter how painful it is to watch and your heart goes out to that little girl, maybe in time mom will see your wisdom. As far as your original question, I have no idea. Sorry. .Robbielyn

jillio · 08-09-2006, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RainGurl

I am kind of annoyed at my friend right now. Only because of how she keeps bringing up that her daughter is only 7 months behind on her speech and language. She bought this book that shows you what ages certain langugage, and etc is expected. She wanted her to go to the same school as my youngest since its a preschool program for the deaf and hard of hearing. My middlest went there as well, it's a great program. Well she says she is going to put her in a preschool program (regular one) and then into school. I warn her that sure she may catch up but there are gonna be times she falls behind. Especially in school. She says oh it's because your lil one has too much hearing loss and mine only has a 45 dL. I am proud of my decision, my child is being exposed to the deaf community. Teachers are trained and qualified to work with these types of children. They are learning skills for future situation (I can't hear you inless you are facing me, etc..). Skills that the real world still FAILS to ACKNOWLEDGE. She is so hyped up over how she is going to be "caught up" ..I keep telling her once she is in school, and they do not provide the necessary help she will fall behind. Inless these teachers are all for advocating for your child. Anyhow, I just don't see how this lil girl is going to make it. She barely talks when she wants something, she screams so loud. She refuses to talk when know how to. She signs, and yet she will get no support that of a regular school for that. But it's her choice, I can see the dangerous down the road.

I am not jealous I just wish that she would realize that just because she may get caught up language wise..then kick into the real program in the regular schools she is expecting something that is not going to happen.

I agree with your point completely. She may only be 7 months delayed now, but without the right preschool, it will only get worse. You are correct, it is a very dangerous situation, and it is the child who suffers.

***VamPyroX*** · 08-09-2006, 07:18 PM

7 months?

I don't know what to say to that. I do think that everyone learns differently. What's important is that they are fully educated before they graduate high school.

deafdyke · 08-09-2006, 08:12 PM

RainGurl,......do you think it might help if someone who actually had a hearing loss talked to her? I have a moderately severe loss myself. I totally agree with you.....too often hearing parents think " Oh boy! My kid has really good speech! They'll be able to assimulate completely into the hearing world!"
Remind her that the gross majority of mainstream teachers, even sped teachers really have no training in how to teach kids with classic disabilites. Suggest that it would be better for her daughter to do a split placement....like a couple of days at a hearing preschool, and then a couple of days at the dhh preschool. Just tell her that it's a good way to be cautious, so that she doesn't get caught in a bad school sitution, where her daughter is underserved.

RainGurl · 08-10-2006, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

RainGurl,......do you think it might help if someone who actually had a hearing loss talked to her? I have a moderately severe loss myself. I totally agree with you.....too often hearing parents think " Oh boy! My kid has really good speech! They'll be able to assimulate completely into the hearing world!"
Remind her that the gross majority of mainstream teachers, even sped teachers really have no training in how to teach kids with classic disabilites. Suggest that it would be better for her daughter to do a split placement....like a couple of days at a hearing preschool, and then a couple of days at the dhh preschool. Just tell her that it's a good way to be cautious, so that she doesn't get caught in a bad school sitution, where her daughter is underserved.

I know that hun, but she IS hard of hearing. That is what drives me crazy. She said she wanted support for her child. And now she goes on and on how her daughter WON'T be needing extra services from Robarts in LONDON ON, because she will be "caught up."

The truth be told, are we ever really caught up? We miss things daily when we can't hear something.

jillio · 08-10-2006, 11:56 AM

You are so right. My son is 20, he has been exposed to ASL since 18 months old, went to Deaf school, dhh preschool, and is still playing the catch up game sometimes. But I do believe it would be much worse for him if he had been in hearing classrooms all the time.

RainGurl · 08-10-2006, 12:55 PM

I guess I shouldn't stress out about it.
I mean it's "her" child. Not mine.
Hubby just says, that we do what is right
for our daughters. She will learn the hard way
when she realizes just how far behind her daughter
is and when have to start all over again.

You can't force someone to see what they don't want to see.

I think he is right. I gotta just let it go and focus on my girls.

jillio · 08-10-2006, 01:52 PM

That's true. Your girls are your #1 focus. But I understand when you see a child not being provided with what they need, and you know it will have a negative effect. You just want to do something for the child. It is very frustrating. Hopefully, your friend will be willing to take another look at her decision before too much time passes.

deafdyke · 08-10-2006, 02:57 PM

Wait......THE MOM is hoh?!?!?! Damn.....Well have you suggested that maybe she not totally assimulate her daughter? Like still hang out with you guys, and have her daughter still be somewhat involved in the Deaf world? Remind her, how lonely it is in the hearing world......and that while we have some hearing abilty, we are also still as much Deaf as we are Hearing.
Maybe she's worried about her daughter getting a good education.....I know that a lot of people think " Oh the Deaf world isn't very good at education, so I'll push them towards the hearing world, educationaly" Tell her, that while Deaf higher education isn't that great, the Early Intervention (including preschool) tends to be really good. Tell her that it's better for her daughter to have a solid educational base, in both worlds, then it is to assimulate. Tell her she can still mainstream.......but that it's better to do a dual placement then it is to be set up in mainstream classroom with very minmal accomondations.
I really don't think your friend undies how difficult it is to get good quality accomondations in the hearing educational enviorment. I went through that, and god.....you practically have to be a disabilty rights lawyer to get any good accomondations!

08-09-2006, 11:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
RainGurl ~Sweet Rain~ Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Parked Permanently at AllDeaf! Posts: 1,070	Age Guidelines Books ~ are they accurrate? I am kind of annoyed at my friend right now. Only because of how she keeps bringing up that her daughter is only 7 months behind on her speech and language. She bought this book that shows you what ages certain langugage, and etc is expected. She wanted her to go to the same school as my youngest since its a preschool program for the deaf and hard of hearing. My middlest went there as well, it's a great program. Well she says she is going to put her in a preschool program (regular one) and then into school. I warn her that sure she may catch up but there are gonna be times she falls behind. Especially in school. She says oh it's because your lil one has too much hearing loss and mine only has a 45 dL. I am proud of my decision, my child is being exposed to the deaf community. Teachers are trained and qualified to work with these types of children. They are learning skills for future situation (I can't hear you inless you are facing me, etc..). Skills that the real world still FAILS to ACKNOWLEDGE. She is so hyped up over how she is going to be "caught up" ..I keep telling her once she is in school, and they do not provide the necessary help she will fall behind. Inless these teachers are all for advocating for your child. Anyhow, I just don't see how this lil girl is going to make it. She barely talks when she wants something, she screams so loud. She refuses to talk when know how to. She signs, and yet she will get no support that of a regular school for that. But it's her choice, I can see the dangerous down the road. I am not jealous I just wish that she would realize that just because she may get caught up language wise..then kick into the real program in the regular schools she is expecting something that is not going to happen.

08-09-2006, 07:18 PM	#4 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 26,446	7 months? I don't know what to say to that. I do think that everyone learns differently. What's important is that they are fully educated before they graduate high school. __________________ Check out my city... CLICK HERE! (If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

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08-09-2006, 12:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
robbielyn Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 127	45 decible loss is a moderate loss. She should not underestimate the problems of misunderstanding spoken communication her daughter will encounter. And maybe her hearing will get worse. Maybe the young girl screams so much because maybe she cant hear what mom is saying. Teaching her asl would be great and at the same time talk to her. Total communication covers all the bases. It would be nice it this could happen for her at school as well. But it is her decision. No matter how painful it is to watch and your heart goes out to that little girl, maybe in time mom will see your wisdom. As far as your original question, I have no idea. Sorry. .Robbielyn

08-09-2006, 08:12 PM	#5 (permalink)
deafdyke So NOT a Princess! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Trebekistan Posts: 6,418	RainGurl,......do you think it might help if someone who actually had a hearing loss talked to her? I have a moderately severe loss myself. I totally agree with you.....too often hearing parents think " Oh boy! My kid has really good speech! They'll be able to assimulate completely into the hearing world!" Remind her that the gross majority of mainstream teachers, even sped teachers really have no training in how to teach kids with classic disabilites. Suggest that it would be better for her daughter to do a split placement....like a couple of days at a hearing preschool, and then a couple of days at the dhh preschool. Just tell her that it's a good way to be cautious, so that she doesn't get caught in a bad school sitution, where her daughter is underserved.

08-10-2006, 11:56 AM	#7 (permalink)
jillio Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 16,105	You are so right. My son is 20, he has been exposed to ASL since 18 months old, went to Deaf school, dhh preschool, and is still playing the catch up game sometimes. But I do believe it would be much worse for him if he had been in hearing classrooms all the time.

08-10-2006, 12:55 PM	#8 (permalink)
RainGurl ~Sweet Rain~ Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Parked Permanently at AllDeaf! Posts: 1,070	I guess I shouldn't stress out about it. I mean it's "her" child. Not mine. Hubby just says, that we do what is right for our daughters. She will learn the hard way when she realizes just how far behind her daughter is and when have to start all over again. You can't force someone to see what they don't want to see. I think he is right. I gotta just let it go and focus on my girls.

08-10-2006, 01:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
jillio Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 16,105	That's true. Your girls are your #1 focus. But I understand when you see a child not being provided with what they need, and you know it will have a negative effect. You just want to do something for the child. It is very frustrating. Hopefully, your friend will be willing to take another look at her decision before too much time passes.

08-10-2006, 02:57 PM	#10 (permalink)
deafdyke So NOT a Princess! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Trebekistan Posts: 6,418	Wait......THE MOM is hoh?!?!?! Damn.....Well have you suggested that maybe she not totally assimulate her daughter? Like still hang out with you guys, and have her daughter still be somewhat involved in the Deaf world? Remind her, how lonely it is in the hearing world......and that while we have some hearing abilty, we are also still as much Deaf as we are Hearing. Maybe she's worried about her daughter getting a good education.....I know that a lot of people think " Oh the Deaf world isn't very good at education, so I'll push them towards the hearing world, educationaly" Tell her, that while Deaf higher education isn't that great, the Early Intervention (including preschool) tends to be really good. Tell her that it's better for her daughter to have a solid educational base, in both worlds, then it is to assimulate. Tell her she can still mainstream.......but that it's better to do a dual placement then it is to be set up in mainstream classroom with very minmal accomondations. I really don't think your friend undies how difficult it is to get good quality accomondations in the hearing educational enviorment. I went through that, and god.....you practically have to be a disabilty rights lawyer to get any good accomondations!