logtar

I watched the movie and had to write a reaction paper for my ASL class. I have posted a couple of things on my weblog and well, I wanted to share my thoughts with all of you.

More than anyone else I would like your opinion on my paper, because I am writting about a subject where I am really an outsider... so I would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks

http://blog.logtar.com/index.php?p=339

Deafness

__________________
This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members.
Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

VamPyroX

Could you clarify what that movie is about? I'm not sure if I've seen it. Perhaps, a hint might refresh my memory.

__________________

Check out my city... CLICK HERE!
(If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

logtar

if you go read the post there is a lot of information about the movie, and a lot of other background.

Annotation The life of four-year-old Thomas Tranchin, born deaf to a hearing family, and the struggle of the producer/director to unlock Thomas’ speech capacities is documented through home video of therapy sessions, classrooms, and workshops. Their struggle in the decision of whether to educate Thomas in sign language versus strictly verbal speech is also documented. Therapists and other families with deaf children are also interviewed. 1/2″ VHS

Levonian

The producer’s page.

If you want to buy a copy.

natalie

I watched 'For my Deaf Son' as part of my Psychology of Deafness class. I am saddened and shocked to hear that he is no longer with us. I have posted the news on my class' discussion board. I assume that my prof was likewise unaware of Tommy's death, since he mentioned his anticipation of a sequel.

deafdyke

I think I might have seen this in my Deaf culture class. Does it feature a mother sobbing b/c her son has to learn Sign? Does it feature a kid from CID who talks about how he's wicked gratful for his parents and how he likes to cut the crass (grass)? That is sad that Tommy committed sucide... You know, I know logtar said that he didn't believe that cultral attitudes may have played a factor in his decision, but on the other hand......I just don't know. His mother seemed to be such a classic " Oh my poor wittle baby is speshal" mom. Attitudes like that can and do effect kids. Maybe if his mother hadn't been that way, but had accepted his disabilty head on, he would not be dead. "Healthy normal" attitudes like that can really do harm to a kid. Kids can and do pick up on stuff like that, and that's probaly why there's such a high rate of depression among deaf people (even people who've been deaf since childhood) I mean I have a precondilition to depression, but I really really do think that the healthy normal attitude which my parents had when I was little really contribuated to my depression

logtar

DeafDyke, yea you have the right movie. You make an excellent point, but it is hard to establish how much of it really affected Tommy. Parents have to be able to express their frustrations and thought without it necessarily meaning that they have the attitude towards the kid. Educating a child is not an easy task.

Levonian

Oh please, please, pleeeeze—just give me 5 fucking minutes with one of these parents. I realize that it’s immature and antisocial to want to bitchslap one of these freaks around, but it would give me soooo much pleasure.

Leah

How did the son die? Can you tell me more about the movie? I haven't see it before.
Thanks
Leah

deafdyke

Levonian, I know exactly what you mean. I sometimes want to throttle those parents.

Cheri

Does this movie is at any rental store that I can rent it from to see it? Because, I never heard of that movie before not that I know of.

__________________

logtar

If you follow the link to my site, I have all the info I have gathered there. You can even view it online.

http://blog.logtar.com/index.php?p=339 <- the post I am talking about.

Levonian

No shit—is it any small wonder the kid committed suicide?

logtar

You see, I totally disagree with you on this. I am not sure why the kid commited suicide but I do not blame it on deafness or the parents reaction towards it. I am sure there was other stuff involved. If you take time and read what I have posted, you will see that you do not have all the information you need by just watching the movie. You cannot make all the assumptions.

deafdyke

Oh yes, there always is other stuff involved. Some people may have a predisposition to depression......but on the other hand opression and not being accepted CAN strongly influence personal feelings. I know because I went through this myself. My parents bought into the whole oral deaf thing, lock, stock and barrel. Along with oral deafness, came the unspoken relief that I didn't have to learn a "speshal" language and that everything was fine and dandy b/c I was "healthy and normal" now. I picked up on this, and it really affected my self-esteem enormously. The attitude that there's nothing of value in the Sign/ Deaf world and that the only thing that mattered was functioning (even if only superfically) like a hearing person really really affects a dhh kid! I mean I did read somewhere that there's a high rate of mental illness in the oral deaf population. While some of the illness might be accounted for by genetic factors, I think that enviromentally caused mental illnesses (like depression, and substance abuse) are probaly rampent b/c of the healthy normal attitude that's so prevailent in oral methods. Yes, some of the people who have depression or comitted sucide might have done so even if they were raised by parents who accepted their kids hearing loss and situtions, but I think that the "healthy normal" attitude really really influences kids. Remember, depression and stuff like that can be enviormentally caused! It's not just being predisposed to it.

Cheri

I have read some replied on your bldg. and One person who said that the boy's parent aren't at fault for his commit suicide that the family struggled with his hearing loss as all hearing parents do. (which that is full of BS). It isn't that hard to put your deaf child in the right path.


I replied on your blog. to that person (bitchJen)


logtar, I did not find a video that I can see in your website.

__________________

harleymn

Cheri I Didnt Find It Either I Apllaud You That What Ever Jen Bitch Is Talking Bout .

logtar

The movie is available for viewing here.

http://www.cfv.org/

JesKlu

I kindof disagree. Depression is usually biologically caused. there is this chemical in the brain called serotonin. if the person produces too little of the chemical, then that's how depression takes place. I suffer depression myself and I think I also might have Seasonal Affective Disorder. I have done a lot of research on depression and it is a biologically based illness. But what I can say it is the enviroment that the person lives in will contribute to the severity of the depression. IOf the person has parents who really care for him and are always there for him and give him emotional support, the chances of that kid receiving help and treatment are enormous. But if you live in an environment like mine. I just called my dad today and said to him, "I think my depression is coming back." And he said "GET OVER IT!" Do you think that was very nice, now my mom is a lot better with my depression, I love my mom. But my dad, he is an asshole. My home environment with my dad is terrible and he doesn't care about anybody but himself. Now in this kindof environment the kid might have suicidal thoughts, cutting his or herself and may even attempt suicide.

deafdyke

Jes, yes it's nature but there's also a very strong NURTURE componet as well!
I mean I have depression but have gotten along without meds a few times, when I was in a happy enviroment and when I really thrived.

Tkgiggles1

Tommy's death was an accident suicide. He wanted to scare his parents. They got in a fight over a tv show and he got upset. Had nothing to do with their communcation choice for him... Learn more before jumping off a bridge.

jillio

As a hearie parent of a Deaf son I'll tell you exactly how much all of that affects the child--it destroys them. It take away any possibility of them ever seeing themselves as whole and good and capable. Educating a child is not as easy task, I agree. But it is impossible when you refuse to accept who the child is and try to force something on them that is totally unnatural. Parents who make it their life's work to try and make their deaf children more like them are unbelievably selfish, and they don't deserve the special blessing that comes with raising a deaf child.

I would never say that it has always been easy for me as a hearing parent to raise my deaf son, or that I didn't make mistakes, or that I always left my natural bias of being hearing out of my decisions. But I will tell you that when I finally learned to see things from my son's deaf perspective, and to make my decisions based on that, a whole new beautiful world opened up for both of us. Because I have allowed my son to be deaf, to respect his deafness, and as the adult parent, be the one to make the adjustments in my life rather than asking him to make the adjustments, my life has become richer and fuller. My allowing the Deaf community into both our lives, I have had experiences and known people that have made my life better, and have made me a better person. I no longer see my son's deafness as something that needs to be compensated for, or even as a small annoyance to be dealt with. I see it as a blessing that was brought into my life; a gift that has brought meaning into my life.

And I agree--let's just bitch slap the parents that are too selfish to see the gift they have right in front of them!

Sweetmind

I am glad to hear this from you Jillo. It makes me feel good and think your deaf son is so lucky to have you because you accepted him for who he is and trying to make the difference for your son with a very good true communication. Thats simple to do for the parents who can learn to accept the child completely no matter what. It s very important for d/Deaf children see the positive outlook more often.

I want to say thank you for being so natural and believing in Deaf children s abilities. \lm/ Boy, I enjoy to read your comments every time you posted. Now this time it brings me to tears when I read this. It s so thoughtful of you and your good heart for your son. Thank you so much for sharing with us and let people to see how you handle with your Deaf son. I love it!!

Have a wonderful day!
Sweetmind

__________________
"Tell the mothers I said, "Don't try to change your child; you are the adult, you bear the burden of change" - Harlan Lane

deafdyke

Yeah, how come there aren't studies on the psychcological impact of pure (auditory verbal style) oralism?It just so fucking irritates me that there are so many parents who absolutly cannot accept the fact that their child is just a regular kid who happens to need some special things (Sign, speech therapy, aids and CIs)

jillio

Absolutely on target!! There are 2 kinds of depression and only the subtype of clinical depression is caused by biological factors. The other is a reactive depression and is a reaction to environmental stressors.

Nope, his deafness did not cause his suicide. However, constantly receiving the message that he is not good enough, that his parents are disappointed in him because of his deafness, the expectation that he should live up to a standard that is unrealistic, and then reinforcing the belief that it is all the result of something that is wrong with him can most certainly lead to a feeling of such hopelessness that death seems the only way to stop the misery. I don't blame his deafness for his suicide. But I do blame the way he was treated because of his deafness. Parents get so caught up in trying to make a def child as close to a hearing child that they just don't see the terrible terrible harm that they are doing to that child as a person. When it comes right down to it, wouldn't you rather have a happy well adjusted deaf child than a dead child?

jillio

Perhaps you are making assumptions without benefit of all the information. There is more than what the usually hearing instructors teach in Deaf Studies classes, and the only way to learn it is by becoming a friend to the Deaf community. Hearing people can't teach it to you. And since most films about the Deaf are by hearing people from a hearing perspective, you have to consider that the information you are given is biased.

jillio

I am working on getting a grant to do just that kind of research right now. My son is 20 now, and it isn't about him anymore. It's about no letting what the oralists tried to do to him happen to any other deaf child.

IslandGal