For a Deaf Son - Page 2

deafdyke · 06-29-2006, 03:55 PM

Quote:

It's about not letting what the oralists tried to do to him happen to any other deaf child.

That's why I am a hardcore activist, and why I am VERY against organizations like AG Bell and Auditory Verbal International. It's why I encourage parents of hoh kids to expose them to Sign and Deaf culture!
It's why I wrote the piece that's going to appear in "On the Fence, the Hidden World of the Hard of Hearing".......and I have a feeling that once the book comes out, a lot of parents will be like "OMG, that sounds exactly like my oral/hoh kid who seems to be doing "fine" in the hearing world. I think it will revolutionize Deaf Theory! That is why I speak out......it just pisses me off totally when an "expert" does not see the damage they do to kids like us.I hate hate hate how oral-only (not oral as an option) and mainstreaming is presented as a glorious Utopia with no downsides.

jillio · 06-29-2006, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweetmind

You are right. I was so angry and frustrated all the time when I was a kid. Because there is no true communication around me. Oral rules robbed my life and my whole family because they told them I must speak or else I will lose it if I use my hands to communicate with. Thats how it leaded me into a depression. I had been struggling with my own depression for years and years. Now I am getting better and have a chance to open up my true inner soul. I felt about many hearing people's pressure and forcing us to do this in their own ways.. Especially my own listening or writings, I couldnt able to express or write because it s not my opinions. It has to be their hearings way. Everything is always wrong wrong for whatever I did.

I was getting fed up because I cannot be me , myself, and the whole of me as being deaf. I have nothing to be ashamed of myself now.

Also, people out there who have no respect for me as being a Deaf mother of two hearing daughters. I was discouraged by their disrespect toward their d/Deaf parents because my daughters were getting the heavy burden shoulders by audist attitude people. They couldnt handle or talk with me in person. They violated a lot of ADA laws all the time. So how can I keep this up and fight for my rights? It is more of burning out and tireless for me with all emotional and mentality abuse all the time. Yeah right, it s easy way out for anyone who will tell me to go to get a lawyer all the time. Sighs!

It s a real nightmare experience I went through with judges, lawyers, doctors, principal of public school and many places. They dont know nothing about ADA laws. JEEZ! Thats why I feel so useless for me to have orally speaking only all the time. It s really lack of communications that I did not cause it. Attitude need to tune up very badly. They simply dont listen us very well. I know I speak good that has a nice Deaf voice. It should not be a problem for them to understand. Thats when I m so confused what the heck going on.

Thank you!

Sweetmind

Sometimes it isn't because they not understand your voice, but because they not want to understand what you mean. If they understand what you mean, then have to admit own wrongs. Oh, noooooo! Never admit wrong!
Sometimes hearing people are "deaf" in their own way. Can hear, but refuse to understand!

If I can be good parent to deaf son as hearie mom, you can be good parent to hearing daughters as deafie mom. More work for you, more work for me, sure. Not matter--still can do great job.

You are very strong person. No reason you should ever feel ashamed! Sometimes it hard for you, yes. But not your fault. Blame hearies who make hard because they lazy and stupid and not want learn anything new. Not all hearing, but some. I have met them many time.

Too many bullies in this world. Think they can get by with not doing what ADA says is law by intimidating people. Wrong, wrong, wrong!

I admire you and your strength of standing up for what you believe is right thing! Never give up!

jillio · 06-29-2006, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

That's why I am a hardcore activist, and why I am VERY against organizations like AG Bell and Auditory Verbal International. It's why I encourage parents of hoh kids to expose them to Sign and Deaf culture!
It's why I wrote the piece that's going to appear in "On the Fence, the Hidden World of the Hard of Hearing".......and I have a feeling that once the book comes out, a lot of parents will be like "OMG, that sounds exactly like my oral/hoh kid who seems to be doing "fine" in the hearing world. I think it will revolutionize Deaf Theory! That is why I speak out......it just pisses me off totally when an "expert" does not see the damage they do to kids like us.I hate hate hate how oral-only (not oral as an option) and mainstreaming is presented as a glorious Utopia with no downsides.

YOU GO GIRL! I got your back!

scatter · 10-23-2009, 01:56 PM

I’m very sorry but I just don’t agree with some of you. He hung himself in a closet with a belt and a suicide note. It was NO scare tactic. It was very intentional. And yes, you are missing the point of the movie. The father released this documentary to show how involved he became in wanting to learn about deaf culture and what kind of school is right for his son. He learned that his son’s happiness and successes in life were his own and not a reflection of his parents. The mother on the other hand was so judgemental and was so worried what other people would think that she didn’t even give her son’s feelings a second thought. She said "Oh i'm not a good mother because I can't get him to speak". A lot of me, me, me, I, I, I. So worried about herself.. Good grief..And, as a mother myself, I cannot on earth believe she treated him the way she did. When it was christmas and Tommas wanted a truck, she kept saying T-R-U-C-K.. ok now “TOMMY ,SAY TRUCK”. Seriously, let your son be a kid. Most of the time she spent around him was correcting him and trying to be a therapist not a mother. It was uphauling to see that child try to learn sign with the other family friend and all she cared about was trying to get him to speak. Just in case you didn’t know, ASL IS a language. It has structure and is very valued in the deaf community. If ASL is his natural language then why push him onto English. It’s a waste of time. Eventually they end up learning sign language because it’s what come natural to them. Imagine yourself trying to learn a language that isn’t your native tounge; it’s hard isn’t it. And you never will fully master it. Same concept but with delicate, fragile children. All that boy wanted was love and a way to communicate, just not the way “SHE” wanted. I'm sure he felt he would never be the person she wanted him to be. What an awful feeling to grow up to. So, if you think he commit suicide because of an accident, your delusional. Why don't some of you do a little more studying and ask the deaf community what their opinions are. Just because she was a mother that loved her son doesn’t mean that he wasn't hurt enough to do something like that. I don’t know about you, but to this day I am still trying to please my mother. And i'm sure it was excruciatingly painful for him. It was a sad thing. But keep an open mind about the deaf and their struggles. That was way the father wanted to release this. He wanted to show the impact parents can have on their deaf children. You should think about how he felt before making assumptions. ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please quit calling your children hearing impaired! The correct term is Hard of Hearing or Deaf.

im⋅paired –adjective 1. weakened, diminished, or damaged: impaired hearing; to rebuild an impaired bridge.
2. functioning poorly or inadequately: Consumption of alcohol results in an impaired driver.
3. deficient or incompetent (usually prec. by an adverb or noun): morally impaired; sports-impaired.
How would you like to be be called deficient or incompetent!!
I mean seriously!!!

violet · 10-23-2009, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scatter

I’m very sorry but I just don’t agree with some of you. He hung himself in a closet with a belt and a suicide note. It was NO scare tactic. It was very intentional. And yes, you are missing the point of the movie. The father released this documentary to show how involved he became in wanting to learn about deaf culture and what kind of school is right for his son. He learned that his son’s happiness and successes in life were his own and not a reflection of his parents. The mother on the other hand was so judgemental and was so worried what other people would think that she didn’t even give her son’s feelings a second thought. She said "Oh i'm not a good mother because I can't get him to speak". A lot of me, me, me, I, I, I. So worried about herself.. Good grief..And, as a mother myself, I cannot on earth believe she treated him the way she did. When it was christmas and Tommas wanted a truck, she kept saying T-R-U-C-K.. ok now “TOMMY ,SAY TRUCK”. Seriously, let your son be a kid. Most of the time she spent around him was correcting him and trying to be a therapist not a mother. It was uphauling to see that child try to learn sign with the other family friend and all she cared about was trying to get him to speak. Just in case you didn’t know, ASL IS a language. It has structure and is very valued in the deaf community. If ASL is his natural language then why push him onto English. It’s a waste of time. Eventually they end up learning sign language because it’s what come natural to them. Imagine yourself trying to learn a language that isn’t your native tounge; it’s hard isn’t it. And you never will fully master it. Same concept but with delicate, fragile children. All that boy wanted was love and a way to communicate, just not the way “SHE” wanted. I'm sure he felt he would never be the person she wanted him to be. What an awful feeling to grow up to. So, if you think he commit suicide because of an accident, your delusional. Why don't some of you do a little more studying and ask the deaf community what their opinions are. Just because she was a mother that loved her son doesn’t mean that he wasn't hurt enough to do something like that. I don’t know about you, but to this day I am still trying to please my mother. And i'm sure it was excruciatingly painful for him. It was a sad thing. But keep an open mind about the deaf and their struggles. That was way the father wanted to release this. He wanted to show the impact parents can have on their deaf children. You should think about how he felt before making assumptions. ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please quit calling your children hearing impaired! The correct term is Hard of Hearing or Deaf.

im⋅paired –adjective 1. weakened, diminished, or damaged: impaired hearing; to rebuild an impaired bridge.
2. functioning poorly or inadequately: Consumption of alcohol results in an impaired driver.
3. deficient or incompetent (usually prec. by an adverb or noun): morally impaired; sports-impaired.
How would you like to be be called deficient or incompetent!!
I mean seriously!!!

GREAT POST!

sallylou · 10-23-2009, 02:27 PM

logtar, I'm really annoyed that you asked people here to express their opinions and then discounted those opinions. It's arrogant. It's not for you to tell people here what their experiences are or how they feel. You're viewing this as an outsider with a class. For us, deafness is our life. Listen and open your mind.

shel90 · 10-23-2009, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

That's why I am a hardcore activist, and why I am VERY against organizations like AG Bell and Auditory Verbal International. It's why I encourage parents of hoh kids to expose them to Sign and Deaf culture!
It's why I wrote the piece that's going to appear in "On the Fence, the Hidden World of the Hard of Hearing".......and I have a feeling that once the book comes out, a lot of parents will be like "OMG, that sounds exactly like my oral/hoh kid who seems to be doing "fine" in the hearing world. I think it will revolutionize Deaf Theory! That is why I speak out......it just pisses me off totally when an "expert" does not see the damage they do to kids like us.I hate hate hate how oral-only (not oral as an option) and mainstreaming is presented as a glorious Utopia with no downsides.

I am with you about being against these organizations.

shel90 · 10-23-2009, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Levonian

Oh please, please, pleeeeze—just give me 5 fucking minutes with one of these parents. I realize that it’s immature and antisocial to want to bitchslap one of these freaks around, but it would give me soooo much pleasure.

shel90 · 10-23-2009, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scatter

I’m very sorry but I just don’t agree with some of you. He hung himself in a closet with a belt and a suicide note. It was NO scare tactic. It was very intentional. And yes, you are missing the point of the movie. The father released this documentary to show how involved he became in wanting to learn about deaf culture and what kind of school is right for his son. He learned that his son’s happiness and successes in life were his own and not a reflection of his parents. The mother on the other hand was so judgemental and was so worried what other people would think that she didn’t even give her son’s feelings a second thought. She said "Oh i'm not a good mother because I can't get him to speak". A lot of me, me, me, I, I, I. So worried about herself.. Good grief..And, as a mother myself, I cannot on earth believe she treated him the way she did. When it was christmas and Tommas wanted a truck, she kept saying T-R-U-C-K.. ok now “TOMMY ,SAY TRUCK”. Seriously, let your son be a kid. Most of the time she spent around him was correcting him and trying to be a therapist not a mother. It was uphauling to see that child try to learn sign with the other family friend and all she cared about was trying to get him to speak. Just in case you didn’t know, ASL IS a language. It has structure and is very valued in the deaf community. If ASL is his natural language then why push him onto English. It’s a waste of time. Eventually they end up learning sign language because it’s what come natural to them. Imagine yourself trying to learn a language that isn’t your native tounge; it’s hard isn’t it. And you never will fully master it. Same concept but with delicate, fragile children. All that boy wanted was love and a way to communicate, just not the way “SHE” wanted. I'm sure he felt he would never be the person she wanted him to be. What an awful feeling to grow up to. So, if you think he commit suicide because of an accident, your delusional. Why don't some of you do a little more studying and ask the deaf community what their opinions are. Just because she was a mother that loved her son doesn’t mean that he wasn't hurt enough to do something like that. I don’t know about you, but to this day I am still trying to please my mother. And i'm sure it was excruciatingly painful for him. It was a sad thing. But keep an open mind about the deaf and their struggles. That was way the father wanted to release this. He wanted to show the impact parents can have on their deaf children. You should think about how he felt before making assumptions. ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please quit calling your children hearing impaired! The correct term is Hard of Hearing or Deaf.

im⋅paired –adjective 1. weakened, diminished, or damaged: impaired hearing; to rebuild an impaired bridge.
2. functioning poorly or inadequately: Consumption of alcohol results in an impaired driver.
3. deficient or incompetent (usually prec. by an adverb or noun): morally impaired; sports-impaired.
How would you like to be be called deficient or incompetent!!
I mean seriously!!!

I totally LOVE your post!

Yes, that's why I hate that term, "hearing impaired." It is degrading but many deaf people prefer to call themselves that. I want it eliminated as a general label, period!

Lighthouse77 · 11-07-2009, 09:19 AM

I feel that if parents learned sign languages (it's isn't hard to start learning with a four years old), they could communicate with their son more and would have known about his issues and work with him. Instead of leaving him with limit communication with verbal skills. It is very hard to express yourself if you don't know the right word for it and sometimes verbal communication ONLY put deaf people in that position

My mother and I did not really have that much close relationship because it was too frustrating. I was raised on verbal communication with hearing aids. I've always felt like I wasn't good enough around my family as well. They get to communicate freely, but with me, well you know what it is like for deaf who can't communicate very well. I feel very much like a child around them and my mental state is much mature than that. It's like like the where advanced students have to be on the same level with average students, and they crave much more than that.

deafdyke · 11-07-2009, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Seriously, let your son be a kid. Most of the time she spent around him was correcting him and trying to be a therapist not a mother

That's why I'm anti- oral only. It's too much like eternal speech therapy for the kid....and the parents have to turn into therapists, especially if they do auditory verbal!

CJB · 11-07-2009, 11:07 PM

I don't think anyone can ever really know all the reasons why someone commits suicide.

faire_jour · 11-09-2009, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scatter

I’m very sorry but I just don’t agree with some of you. He hung himself in a closet with a belt and a suicide note. It was NO scare tactic. It was very intentional. And yes, you are missing the point of the movie. The father released this documentary to show how involved he became in wanting to learn about deaf culture and what kind of school is right for his son. He learned that his son’s happiness and successes in life were his own and not a reflection of his parents. The mother on the other hand was so judgemental and was so worried what other people would think that she didn’t even give her son’s feelings a second thought. She said "Oh i'm not a good mother because I can't get him to speak". A lot of me, me, me, I, I, I. So worried about herself.. Good grief..And, as a mother myself, I cannot on earth believe she treated him the way she did. When it was christmas and Tommas wanted a truck, she kept saying T-R-U-C-K.. ok now “TOMMY ,SAY TRUCK”. Seriously, let your son be a kid. Most of the time she spent around him was correcting him and trying to be a therapist not a mother. It was uphauling to see that child try to learn sign with the other family friend and all she cared about was trying to get him to speak. Just in case you didn’t know, ASL IS a language. It has structure and is very valued in the deaf community. If ASL is his natural language then why push him onto English. It’s a waste of time. Eventually they end up learning sign language because it’s what come natural to them. Imagine yourself trying to learn a language that isn’t your native tounge; it’s hard isn’t it. And you never will fully master it. Same concept but with delicate, fragile children. All that boy wanted was love and a way to communicate, just not the way “SHE” wanted. I'm sure he felt he would never be the person she wanted him to be. What an awful feeling to grow up to. So, if you think he commit suicide because of an accident, your delusional. Why don't some of you do a little more studying and ask the deaf community what their opinions are. Just because she was a mother that loved her son doesn’t mean that he wasn't hurt enough to do something like that. I don’t know about you, but to this day I am still trying to please my mother. And i'm sure it was excruciatingly painful for him. It was a sad thing. But keep an open mind about the deaf and their struggles. That was way the father wanted to release this. He wanted to show the impact parents can have on their deaf children. You should think about how he felt before making assumptions. ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please quit calling your children hearing impaired! The correct term is Hard of Hearing or Deaf.

im⋅paired –adjective 1. weakened, diminished, or damaged: impaired hearing; to rebuild an impaired bridge.
2. functioning poorly or inadequately: Consumption of alcohol results in an impaired driver.
3. deficient or incompetent (usually prec. by an adverb or noun): morally impaired; sports-impaired.
How would you like to be be called deficient or incompetent!!
I mean seriously!!!

And who are you exactly? Are you a parent of a deaf child? Have you been through the worry and hurt they live through when making these decisions? Have you read hundreds of pages and thosands of hours, trying to figure out how to help your child be successful?

If not, perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to pass such harsh judgement.

souggy · 11-09-2009, 04:18 PM

How did a three-years old topic gets revived?

deafdyke · 11-09-2009, 08:31 PM

Quote:

And who are you exactly? Are you a parent of a deaf child? Have you been through the worry and hurt they live through when making these decisions? Have you read hundreds of pages and thosands of hours, trying to figure out how to help your child be successful?

If not, perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to pass such harsh judgement.

Faire_jour.....on the other hand........you do have to admit that a lot of the language and psychology used to get the parents to go oral only is very "your child will be healthy and normal and won't need "speshal needs" stuff. A lot of parents buy into that.....and that's so freaking frustrating.
They're just thinking " Oh my child will be healthy and "normal" and function just like a normal kid and won't need things like ASL or Cued Speech or whatever"

Gma · 11-09-2009, 09:42 PM

Please quit calling your children hearing impaired! The correct term is Hard of Hearing or Deaf.

im⋅paired –adjective 1. weakened, diminished, or damaged: impaired hearing; to rebuild an impaired bridge.
2. functioning poorly or inadequately: Consumption of alcohol results in an impaired driver.
3. deficient or incompetent (usually prec. by an adverb or noun): morally impaired; sports-impaired.
How would you like to be be called deficient or incompetent!!
I mean seriously!!![/QUOTE]

I just got done reading the one of a thousand emails for the week from a group for people with disabilities. Had a meeting last week with school personnel who didn't understand why deaf is not hearing-impaired. Was contacted by a parent group that labeled itself as advocates for hearing- impaired children. It all just turns my stomach. I wish I could understand it. I forwarded the quote to the superintedent and to the parent group. It's 2009 -- why cant people understand?

society's_child · 11-10-2009, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by logtar

The movie is available for viewing here.

DCMP.org :: Home

I didn't see it...

rockdrummer · 11-10-2009, 11:06 AM

What annoys me is that the whole educating a deaf child is still such a controversy. I as a hearing parent of a deaf child should be able to rely on the education professionals to know by now what is best. Deafness is nothing new. The sad truth is that I can't and that leaves me to have to educate myself and roll the dice on what I think is best. I am not a teacher, or a psycologist nor do I have any experience with deafness or educating a deaf child. There are professionals that have far more experience than I do. All hearing parents of deaf babies are in the same boat. I heard a number of about 90% of deaf kids are born to hearing parents. That fact combined with the controversy on how to best educate a deaf child a setup for failure in my humble opinion.

Banjo · 11-10-2009, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockdrummer

There are professionals that have far more experience than I do. All hearing parents of deaf babies are in the same boat. I heard a number of about 90% of deaf kids are born to hearing parents. That fact combined with the controversy on how to best educate a deaf child a setup for failure in my humble opinion.

What professionals are you referring to? The term, professionals are too loosely used these days. The funny part is, most of the professionals don't have any children with hearing loss. Heck, a good number of them don't even have children to start with. So how can they truly be an expert on how a deaf child should be educated?

Just a thought.

faire_jour · 11-10-2009, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

Faire_jour.....on the other hand........you do have to admit that a lot of the language and psychology used to get the parents to go oral only is very "your child will be healthy and normal and won't need "speshal needs" stuff. A lot of parents buy into that.....and that's so freaking frustrating.
They're just thinking " Oh my child will be healthy and "normal" and function just like a normal kid and won't need things like ASL or Cued Speech or whatever"

I don't believe that is what happens. I believe that (at least most) of the parents take their time, and try to figure out what is best for their child and their family.

Just because they come to a different conclusion than you would, doesn't make it wrong.

Frisky Feline · 11-10-2009, 03:52 PM

It's too common for hearing parents who expect their deaf kids to speak so good. Naturally, parents keep pushing Deaf Kids to see speech therapist or correcting them to speak right. Then the kids get older as adult and more tense around their parents. Sometimes they happen to have good relationship, sometimes not. I have seen some of HOH or Deaf kids who speak beautifully but their troubled emotionally and usually deeply around people who know them that they can speak and expect them to do it.

society's_child · 11-10-2009, 04:35 PM

Can someone please tell me how to find the link to view it? I'm sincerely interested in watching it.

shel90 · 11-10-2009, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frisky Feline

It's too common for hearing parents who expect their deaf kids to speak so good. Naturally, parents keep pushing Deaf Kids to see speech therapist or correcting them to speak right. Then the kids get older as adult and more tense around their parents. Sometimes they happen to have good relationship, sometimes not. I have seen some of HOH or Deaf kids who speak beautifully but their troubled emotionally and usually deeply around people who know them that they can speak and expect them to do it.

I know what you mean. If parents want deaf kids to speak good, then parents should do the same..learn sign language.

deafdyke · 11-10-2009, 08:32 PM

Quote:

I don't believe that is what happens. I believe that (at least most) of the parents take their time, and try to figure out what is best for their child and their family.

Sigh.....SOME parents do. But many others really do buy into the attitude that " mainstreaming is best, and oral only is the best b/c it seems more "normal" I think maybe you haven't really been around a lot of oral only parents. (NOT parents who are going the full toolbox route)
The oralists use ableist language to reel in the parents who are still greiving the " loss" of their " healthy normal" kid. They then use psychology to make them think " Oh if my child doesn't use ASL/CUED speech and/or is mainstreamed, then they are NORMAL!"
I mean just LOOK at the motto of AG Bell............" Freedom in Listening and Talking"
That in of itself means that pro oral only folks view ASL as " special needs" or a " crutch"

shel90 · 11-11-2009, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

Sigh.....SOME parents do. But many others really do buy into the attitude that " mainstreaming is best, and oral only is the best b/c it seems more "normal" I think maybe you haven't really been around a lot of oral only parents. (NOT parents who are going the full toolbox route)
The oralists use ableist language to reel in the parents who are still greiving the " loss" of their " healthy normal" kid. They then use psychology to make them think " Oh if my child doesn't use ASL/CUED speech and/or is mainstreamed, then they are NORMAL!"
I mean just LOOK at the motto of AG Bell............" Freedom in Listening and Talking"
That in of itself means that pro oral only folks view ASL as " special needs" or a " crutch"

Freedom in Listening and Talking...WTF?!!!!

faire_jour · 11-11-2009, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

Sigh.....SOME parents do. But many others really do buy into the attitude that " mainstreaming is best, and oral only is the best b/c it seems more "normal" I think maybe you haven't really been around a lot of oral only parents. (NOT parents who are going the full toolbox route)
The oralists use ableist language to reel in the parents who are still greiving the " loss" of their " healthy normal" kid. They then use psychology to make them think " Oh if my child doesn't use ASL/CUED speech and/or is mainstreamed, then they are NORMAL!"
I mean just LOOK at the motto of AG Bell............" Freedom in Listening and Talking"
That in of itself means that pro oral only folks view ASL as " special needs" or a " crutch"

Ok, I don't love that organazation. That is true. But not because of their philosophy, but because of some personal experiences with the people. I am sure they have helped many people, and I even went to an AG Bell conference last week-end. It had lots of really great information. (You can read about what I learned on my blog)

But, about the motto...there is some freedom is listening and speaking. The freedom is that you can approach anyone at anytime and communicate with them. You don't need to worry about how you are going to handle it, if you have a pen and paper, if they will understand what you need. That is a certain kind of freedom.

There is another kind of freedom in 100% accessability through ASL.

But both are true.

deafdyke · 11-11-2009, 08:34 PM

Quote:

But, about the motto...there is some freedom is listening and speaking. The freedom is that you can approach anyone at anytime and communicate with them. You don't need to worry about how you are going to handle it, if you have a pen and paper, if they will understand what you need. That is a certain kind of freedom.

There is another kind of freedom in 100% accessability through ASL.

Well granted AG Bad isn't as extreme as it once was. I have seen ASL 'terps and stuff like that. But its almost like............they are still very audist and very pro "mainstream" (regular school, regular classes) is the best.
They don't understand that depending on extremely high priced health care is just as bad as only having ASL abilty.
The best sitution is having a full toolbox.

society's_child · 11-12-2009, 08:20 AM

One more time: where's the link to watch the film? I went to DCMP.org and did a search but found nothing.

rockdrummer · 11-12-2009, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banjo

What professionals are you referring to? The term, professionals are too loosely used these days. The funny part is, most of the professionals don't have any children with hearing loss. Heck, a good number of them don't even have children to start with. So how can they truly be an expert on how a deaf child should be educated?

Just a thought.

I am talking about the professionals in the teaching field. The ones that decide on the plans and the teachers themselves.

souggy · 11-12-2009, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockdrummer

I am talking about the professionals in the teaching field. The ones that decide on the plans and the teachers themselves.

Most "Teacher of the Deaf" in mainstream schools only got one year worth of specialization in "special education."

Special education being... how to deal with ADD, the mentally slow and so on...

10-23-2009, 01:56 PM	#34 (permalink)
scatter Registered User Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 1	For a deaf son documentary I’m very sorry but I just don’t agree with some of you. He hung himself in a closet with a belt and a suicide note. It was NO scare tactic. It was very intentional. And yes, you are missing the point of the movie. The father released this documentary to show how involved he became in wanting to learn about deaf culture and what kind of school is right for his son. He learned that his son’s happiness and successes in life were his own and not a reflection of his parents. The mother on the other hand was so judgemental and was so worried what other people would think that she didn’t even give her son’s feelings a second thought. She said "Oh i'm not a good mother because I can't get him to speak". A lot of me, me, me, I, I, I. So worried about herself.. Good grief..And, as a mother myself, I cannot on earth believe she treated him the way she did. When it was christmas and Tommas wanted a truck, she kept saying T-R-U-C-K.. ok now “TOMMY ,SAY TRUCK”. Seriously, let your son be a kid. Most of the time she spent around him was correcting him and trying to be a therapist not a mother. It was uphauling to see that child try to learn sign with the other family friend and all she cared about was trying to get him to speak. Just in case you didn’t know, ASL IS a language. It has structure and is very valued in the deaf community. If ASL is his natural language then why push him onto English. It’s a waste of time. Eventually they end up learning sign language because it’s what come natural to them. Imagine yourself trying to learn a language that isn’t your native tounge; it’s hard isn’t it. And you never will fully master it. Same concept but with delicate, fragile children. All that boy wanted was love and a way to communicate, just not the way “SHE” wanted. I'm sure he felt he would never be the person she wanted him to be. What an awful feeling to grow up to. So, if you think he commit suicide because of an accident, your delusional. Why don't some of you do a little more studying and ask the deaf community what their opinions are. Just because she was a mother that loved her son doesn’t mean that he wasn't hurt enough to do something like that. I don’t know about you, but to this day I am still trying to please my mother. And i'm sure it was excruciatingly painful for him. It was a sad thing. But keep an open mind about the deaf and their struggles. That was way the father wanted to release this. He wanted to show the impact parents can have on their deaf children. You should think about how he felt before making assumptions. ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please quit calling your children hearing impaired! The correct term is Hard of Hearing or Deaf. im⋅paired –adjective 1. weakened, diminished, or damaged: impaired hearing; to rebuild an impaired bridge. 2. functioning poorly or inadequately: Consumption of alcohol results in an impaired driver. 3. deficient or incompetent (usually prec. by an adverb or noun): morally impaired; sports-impaired. How would you like to be be called deficient or incompetent!! I mean seriously!!!

10-23-2009, 02:27 PM	#36 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,090	logtar, I'm really annoyed that you asked people here to express their opinions and then discounted those opinions. It's arrogant. It's not for you to tell people here what their experiences are or how they feel. You're viewing this as an outsider with a class. For us, deafness is our life. Listen and open your mind. __________________ Happy holidays!

11-07-2009, 09:19 AM	#40 (permalink)
Lighthouse77 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,309	I feel that if parents learned sign languages (it's isn't hard to start learning with a four years old), they could communicate with their son more and would have known about his issues and work with him. Instead of leaving him with limit communication with verbal skills. It is very hard to express yourself if you don't know the right word for it and sometimes verbal communication ONLY put deaf people in that position My mother and I did not really have that much close relationship because it was too frustrating. I was raised on verbal communication with hearing aids. I've always felt like I wasn't good enough around my family as well. They get to communicate freely, but with me, well you know what it is like for deaf who can't communicate very well. I feel very much like a child around them and my mental state is much mature than that. It's like like the where advanced students have to be on the same level with average students, and they crave much more than that. __________________ Good thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from. Last edited by Lighthouse77; 11-07-2009 at 10:29 AM.

11-09-2009, 04:18 PM	#44 (permalink)
souggy Ace Attorney Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Victoria, BC Posts: 2,370	How did a three-years old topic gets revived? __________________ Souggy's Blog Warning! Contains skewed comments & inane ramblings. May cause spontaneous human combustion

11-10-2009, 04:35 PM	#52 (permalink)
society's_child venustrus unus ;-) Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: The big MD Posts: 3,876 Blog Entries: 5	Can someone please tell me how to find the link to view it? I'm sincerely interested in watching it. __________________ ...just passing thru, y'all.

Today
Deafness	Sponsored Links __________________ This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

11-07-2009, 11:07 PM	#42 (permalink)
CJB deafblind writer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: U.S. Posts: 1,425	I don't think anyone can ever really know all the reasons why someone commits suicide.

11-09-2009, 09:42 PM	#46 (permalink)
Gma Registered User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 27	Please quit calling your children hearing impaired! The correct term is Hard of Hearing or Deaf. im⋅paired –adjective 1. weakened, diminished, or damaged: impaired hearing; to rebuild an impaired bridge. 2. functioning poorly or inadequately: Consumption of alcohol results in an impaired driver. 3. deficient or incompetent (usually prec. by an adverb or noun): morally impaired; sports-impaired. How would you like to be be called deficient or incompetent!! I mean seriously!!![/QUOTE] I just got done reading the one of a thousand emails for the week from a group for people with disabilities. Had a meeting last week with school personnel who didn't understand why deaf is not hearing-impaired. Was contacted by a parent group that labeled itself as advocates for hearing- impaired children. It all just turns my stomach. I wish I could understand it. I forwarded the quote to the superintedent and to the parent group. It's 2009 -- why cant people understand?

11-10-2009, 11:06 AM	#48 (permalink)
rockdrummer Weapon of mass percussion Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Chicago area Posts: 4,090	What annoys me is that the whole educating a deaf child is still such a controversy. I as a hearing parent of a deaf child should be able to rely on the education professionals to know by now what is best. Deafness is nothing new. The sad truth is that I can't and that leaves me to have to educate myself and roll the dice on what I think is best. I am not a teacher, or a psycologist nor do I have any experience with deafness or educating a deaf child. There are professionals that have far more experience than I do. All hearing parents of deaf babies are in the same boat. I heard a number of about 90% of deaf kids are born to hearing parents. That fact combined with the controversy on how to best educate a deaf child a setup for failure in my humble opinion.

11-10-2009, 03:52 PM	#51 (permalink)
Frisky Feline Provoke, Pounce, Purr Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 5,693	It's too common for hearing parents who expect their deaf kids to speak so good. Naturally, parents keep pushing Deaf Kids to see speech therapist or correcting them to speak right. Then the kids get older as adult and more tense around their parents. Sometimes they happen to have good relationship, sometimes not. I have seen some of HOH or Deaf kids who speak beautifully but their troubled emotionally and usually deeply around people who know them that they can speak and expect them to do it.

11-12-2009, 08:20 AM	#58 (permalink)
society's_child venustrus unus ;-) Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: The big MD Posts: 3,876 Blog Entries: 5	One more time: where's the link to watch the film? I went to DCMP.org and did a search but found nothing. __________________ ...just passing thru, y'all.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode