Heather Whitestone

Emerica · 10-07-2004, 08:02 PM

When in 1994 Heather Whitestone became the first deaf woman to be crowned Miss America, why did deaf people dissapprove of her mother choose oral educated, not ASL.

Angel · 10-07-2004, 10:40 PM

Well, I'm not one of those Deaf people, I was raised to be oral too and my parents did not know much about the Deaf world, so this was very new to them nor that I ever blamed them ...but one thing I do wish is that they should have just asked around or look around for any kind of information about how to raise Deaf children.....

Some Deaf people should understand that not alot of parents out there knows alot about how to rasie Deaf children or what school should they choose for their child, so I wouldn't go around blaming her mother for this, I think she only did was best for her daug by trying to fit her daug into the hearing world and her daug turn out to be a wonderful woman....be proud of who you are, shouldn't judge others just because they were raise differently....

deafdyke · 10-07-2004, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Some Deaf people should understand that not alot of parents out there knows alot about how to rasie Deaf children or what school should they choose for their child, so I wouldn't go around blaming her mother for this, I think she only did was best for her daug by trying to fit her daug into the hearing world and her daug turn out to be a wonderful woman..

On the other hand, there are still many hearing parents who choose oralism b/c it seems more " heathy and normal" then using OH NO.....SIGN LANGUAGE!
I have absolutly ZERO beef with parents who pursue an oral eduction b/c oral skills are important. Pen and paper aren't always available. However, there are TOO many parents who wallow in the grief of finding out that their kids are OH NO.....DEAF!!!!!!! From what I 've heard, Heather Whitestone's mother chose oralism b/c it seemed more normal, then the alternative.
Why is there such a huge stigma against Sign by hearing parents? I just don't get it....then again we live in a world where parents of kids who use wheelchairs are trained to see the chairs as evil. The only acceptable goal is functioning like a walking person. No matter that the wheelchairs give a lot of kids freedom (instead of being wiped out from walking all over) the important thing is functioning like a healthy normal person!!! God, our society is SO beyond ableist!!!!! Why isn't using a chair as good as walking or using a walker or crutches? Why isn't using an ostomy as good as going the "old fashioned" way? Why isn't using your other senses to compensate for one that isn't there as good as using that missing sense?
I think that Deaf people might be a lot less against oral education if it wasn't so often couched or pushed in an abelist audist way. If oral education was more about " We'll help give your child an additional skill" rather then " Your child can be NORMAL!" THEN it would be a lot more accepted.

Angel · 10-07-2004, 11:17 PM

Well,

Not all parents push their children into ' oralism ' but only think what would be best for them....I don't understand what's the big point of comparing parents for the decisions they make for their children...It's not your child we are talking about here, but someone else's....I'm not going to judge those parents out there who decide to have their child into being oral rather than ASL....

The thing is I ( We ) can be more supportive out there to help make an awareness for those ' new ' parents in ways that will be very helpful and encouraging in raising their Deaf child then we can all benefit and work together without having to be critical for how they raise their Deaf children....

TiaraPrincess · 10-07-2004, 11:34 PM

Because they are not capable of understanding the difference. That's what I think. It was obvious that she turned out well with that method, so I don't know what was the point trying to criticize Heather for her oral upbringing. Deafdyke, parents are terrified because they are clueless about deafness unlike you, who knows what it's really like to have a hearing loss and know it's not as terribel as it is. Just try to remember that hearing parents have zero knowledege about deafness. Would you tell a cancer patient who has a benign tumor not to cry? It's the same thing. It's a natural reaction. It's always gonna happen until they learn further.

Levonian · 10-08-2004, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdyke

From what I 've heard, Heather Whitestone's mother chose oralism b/c it seemed more normal, then the alternative.

Actually, Heather’s mother basically tried everything but the kitchen sink when she was deciding on a course of action for Heather’s upbringing and education. I’m reading her mother’s biography of Heather right now. She actually tried a signed language first! The day she first found out that Heather is deaf, the audi recommended SEE. So she stopped at a bookstore on the way home, bought every book in the store on the subject, and the whole family started learning SEE that evening. Later, they tried cued speech, oralism, and ASL. Heather pretty much called the shots, and she wanted to try everything.

10-08-2004, 01:39 AM

I think when deaf people disapproved of Heather's mother's decision...was very immature!

They should realized what about their parents?? Did their parents learn sign? or oral? or mainstreaming? Whats the difference?? Why accused Heather's mom??

I think they were just being immature and jealous over at Heather for being successful and famous!

I think Heather's mom did great job raising her daughter! They obviously communicate and are close...same with me and my mother...

So, perhaps deaf people are jealous bez they dont have wonderful mom like Heather's?! Ive noticed deafies tend to be jealous of me...bez I speak well and I have wonderful family...it hurts me when some deafies dont want to be my friend...oh well!

Its immature to be jealous with anything in life...we have to accept facts of life!

Y · 10-08-2004, 09:28 AM

being mother is a tough job i think that heather's mom
was doing a good job with only one deaf child but...

i know of a Hearing mother doing much more difficult jobs
because she has 4 deaf children
they all went to the same oral school for the deaf,
but each 4 deaf kids with SAME mother SAME school
have different levels of oralism the first one
was able speak pretty good, the second one
spoke very fluently and very clearly,
the third one was best in ASL,
and the fourth one was pretty good.

The whole point has nothing to do with
the SAME Mother ! It depends on each child's
mind, heart and MOTIVIATION. The Second
child was very motiviated and enthusiastic
to speak fluently like a Champion while
the Third child had NO interest in learning
how to speak, just prefer ASL.

This Second Deaf child traveled
all over the United States with school principal
visiting many different civic clubs giving
impromptu talks and appearances front of
audiences full of philanthropists without any fear.
Theses audience fell in love with this second deaf child
because of her show personality and
they felt as if she was talking with them
in their own living rooms. She is now an adult
leading a very quiet and very humble life and
no one else knew much about her and they
do NOT even to know how to reach or
contact her. I feel very lucky to know how
to reach and contact her anytime !! This is so sad
because she had the capabilities to give a talk
about deaf oralism/ASL/hearing aids/Cochlear implant
I cannot print her name here I must ask her
for permission first...

Emerica · 10-08-2004, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Y

I cannot print her name here I must ask her
for permission first...

I can understand that! anyhoo, nice to hear something different than other deaf people... can you tell me more about you, deaf pride or else? hope you don't mind to speak out little more...

Emerica · 10-08-2004, 07:51 PM

Emerica · 10-08-2004, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coloravalanche

I think when deaf people disapproved of Heather's mother's decision...was very immature!

I was surprised you said that! I didnt think of that...

Emerica · 10-08-2004, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Levonian

Actually, Heather’s mother basically tried everything but the kitchen sink when she was deciding on a course of action for Heather’s upbringing and education. I’m reading her mother’s biography of Heather right now. She actually tried a signed language first! The day she first found out that Heather is deaf, the audi recommended SEE. So she stopped at a bookstore on the way home, bought every book in the store on the subject, and the whole family started learning SEE that evening. Later, they tried cued speech, oralism, and ASL. Heather pretty much called the shots, and she wanted to try everything.

Life is easy eh?

Y · 10-08-2004, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emerica

I can understand that! anyhoo, nice to hear something different than other deaf people... can you tell me more about you, deaf pride or else? hope you don't mind to speak out little more...

i just posted my response at the other thread On-topic
on Heather Whitestone. Are u asking if
I have any deaf pride within myself ?
Yes, I'm proud of being a deaf. If there are
a new deaf pills making you "Hearing",
then I wouldn't have any interest in them
perhaps it's because I've always
been deaf since birth so I tend to find
any kind of sounds very annoying.
I simply do not want anything into my ears, ha.

Hope this does answer ur question.

deafdyke · 10-08-2004, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Actually, Heather’s mother basically tried everything but the kitchen sink when she was deciding on a course of action for Heather’s upbringing and education. I’m reading her mother’s biography of Heather right now. She actually tried a signed language first! The day she first found out that Heather is deaf, the audi recommended SEE. So she stopped at a bookstore on the way home, bought every book in the store on the subject, and the whole family started learning SEE that evening. Later, they tried cued speech, oralism, and ASL. Heather pretty much called the shots, and she wanted to try everything.

*shock!!!*
Are you POSITIVE about that?!?!?! I mean people here who grew up with Heather have said that her mother's attitude towards Sign wasn't that accepting to put it mildly. Plus I remember reading articles and interviews in Volta Voices about and with Heather's mother and they ALL said that Heather's mother chose the Acupedic (now Auditory-Verbal) approach. I remember VV asked Heather's mother (who is divorced....gee what a surprise!) if she'd go through all that again and the answer was "Yes" I also remember an account on coachleawars.com about Heather trying to Sign something to her mother, and her mother slapped her hands and tried to make Heather use her voice!

Quote:

I don't understand what's the big point of comparing parents for the decisions they make for their children...It's not your child we are talking about here, but someone else's....I'm not going to judge those parents out there who decide to have their child into being oral rather than ASL....

The thing is I ( We ) can be more supportive out there to help make an awareness for those ' new ' parents in ways that will be very helpful and encouraging in raising their Deaf child then we can all benefit and work together without having to be critical for how they raise their Deaf children....

I guess to spare their kids a lot of what we went through growing up. I am VERY outspoken about the right of deaf AND hoh kids to have Sign as an option. I know many hearing parents are OK with Sign and Deaf culture....they just want their kids to have speech as a first language, with Sign as a backup. I have no beef whatsoever with that approach. As long as the child learns sign at an early age (I don't believe that dhh kids should wait til their teens or twenties to learn Sign) I am OK with a "speech first" approach. I am just critical of the parents who buy into the "Welcome to Holland" shit about how raising a disabled kid is so DIFFERENT from raising a healthy normal kid !!!! And DIFFERENT is BAD!!!!! The only thing that counts is functioning like a "healthy normal" kid.... That sort of approach is extremely psycologically damaging. That is why I speak out.....b/c I want dhh kids to avoid psycological damage.
There's a reason why low self-esteem, mental illness caused by surroundings (eg depression, and alcholism and drug abuse) are so common in the oral deaf and hoh worlds. Much of it is caused by the downsides of going oral only!
I agree....we CAN be more supportive. I was oral deaf too once you know....and coming into the deaf-world was one of the best things that ever happened to me! I actually believe that slowly but surely the hardcore oralists are dying out (especially as my generation which has had quite a bit of exposure to real live dhh kids has kids) and who knows? Maybe audist oralism will be DEAD within twenty years! That will be nice...but until audist oralism is DEAD, I will continue to speak out for the rights of dhh kids(of ALL flavors up to and including kids with unilateral and mild losses) to learn Sign along with speech!

Cheri · 10-08-2004, 08:51 PM

I am not along one of the deaf person who doesn't approve her upbringing in Oral and not ASL... She did went to special school and then back to mainstream.. Levonian is correct. It was Heather's choice...Her hard work a determination paid off. I do not see why some Deaf people do not approved her upbringing It isn't our choice to judge her or her mother...She is someone I really look up to because, She doesn't let her deafness stop her way of being successful. I gotta say I am proud of her and in what she became. She showed us that we are people we can do anything we want if we set our goals high.

TiaraPrincess · 10-08-2004, 11:16 PM

Quote:

I mean people here who grew up with Heather have said that her mother's attitude towards Sign wasn't that accepting to put it mildly.

Are you sure these 'people' were not Deaf Community people? Anyone could have said that about my mother, and that was not the reason at all. The reason was because she wanted me to communicate with anyone and not become pick sign language over oralism in the process. My mother has said that she wants to learn sign language now that she knows I can talk for others who don't talk.

Quote:

Plus I remember reading articles and interviews in Volta Voices about and with Heather's mother and they ALL said that Heather's mother chose the Acupedic (now Auditory-Verbal) approach.

It's in the book. Isn't that obvious?

Quote:

I remember VV asked Heather's mother (who is divorced....gee what a surprise!)

Surprise? It's in the book too. My mom's divorced. What's so surprising about that? It happens.

Quote:

if she'd go through all that again and the answer was "Yes"

Hmmm.. I am sure my mother's response would be exactly the same.

Quote:

I also remember an account on coachleawars.com about Heather trying to Sign something to her mother, and her mother slapped her hands and tried to make Heather use her voice!

I see Heather's mother as a human being learning and stressful. Parent's slap kid's butt all the time. I am sure Heather's mother was not abusive as you make it seem.

It's okay to have your opinion, but suffocating over it does not really sound appealing to your audiences. It sounds like a turn off.

10-09-2004, 02:19 AM

Who the heck cares if Heather was/or is an oralist? Everyone is an individual and expecting an individual to conform to society standards is totally immature, if not stupid.

TiaraPrincess · 10-09-2004, 03:54 AM

[quote]Who the heck cares if Heather was/or is an oralist? Everyone is an individual and expecting an individual to conform to society standards is totally immature, if not stupid.[quote]

Bravo! No one needs to explain their upbringings. It makes one feel like Joan of Arc. Dying for her beliefs. Come on!

deafdyke · 10-09-2004, 07:30 PM

Well what precisely does the term oral deaf mean? I know of Deaf people who can hear and speak relatively well, but they don't think of themselves as oral deaf. Having oral skills does not make you oral deaf.
I think part of the reason why some Deaf folks look down on oral deaf people is b/c of the attitude that some oralists have, that speech is the absolute best thing in the world and they don't need Sign b/c it's a "crutch" or "speshal needs" If some oralists didn't have that attitude, then perhaps oral deafies would be a lot more accepted by Deaf people.

TiaraPrincess · 10-10-2004, 02:40 AM

Maybe Deaf people have problems with their attitude too. I don't think it should be blamed on the oralists. The past was harsh, but that's all in the past. It should be forgiven and let go. It gets so old. I don't think holding grudges will help anything. I think some Deaf people feel intimidated and make it seem like it's too much to be an oralis, but it's true that having speech makes you more libarated to speak for yourself and with other people. There's no lie about that. I think of myself as more in the hard of hearing person even though I am deaf because of the way I was raised and what I feel about myself. An interpreter did not consider me deaf. Do I care? Not really. I care about what I feel is best to label myself, but I think we should be seen as human not an oral deaf person. I personaly did not like people labeling me as the deaf girl in high school because that makes me feel human. I had a name, and I wish people would know that because I didn't have to be stood out because I was just deaf. Oralists don't need to be stood out because they are too oral or deaf and don't sign. Deaf/deaf, hoh, oral deaf or whatever is up to the person. They know what they feel because they are in their own shoes. I don't think anyone's perfect.

Emerica · 10-11-2004, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Y

i just posted my response at the other thread On-topic
on Heather Whitestone. Are u asking if
I have any deaf pride within myself ?
Yes, I'm proud of being a deaf. If there are
a new deaf pills making you "Hearing",
then I wouldn't have any interest in them
perhaps it's because I've always
been deaf since birth so I tend to find
any kind of sounds very annoying.
I simply do not want anything into my ears, ha.

Hope this does answer ur question.

Just out of curiousity that all... oh dude, i have plenty of questions for you...

not for now... I was born deaf, grew up oral humanity. anywhoo, I hope that i am not being offended ya... I would take the red pill to see how's the world works... or

"I know what you're thinking, 'cause right now I'm thinking the same thing. Actually, I've been thinking it ever since I got here: Why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill?" from the movie "Matrix."

Emerica · 10-11-2004, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ^Angel^

Well, I'm not one of those Deaf people, I was raised to be oral too and my parents did not know much about the Deaf world, so this was very new to them nor that I ever blamed them ...but one thing I do wish is that they should have just asked around or look around for any kind of information about how to raise Deaf children....

oh poor thing, you big enuff....maybe you can be a teacher in Deaf Studies so you can teach your parent about Deaf World...

Emerica · 10-11-2004, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kuifje75

Who the heck cares if Heather was/or is an oralist? Everyone is an individual and expecting an individual to conform to society standards is totally immature, if not stupid.

Morpheus: "Welcome to the real world."

Y · 10-11-2004, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emerica

Just out of curiousity that all... oh dude, i have plenty of questions for you...

not for now... I was born deaf, grew up oral humanity. anywhoo, I hope that i am not being offended ya... I would take the red pill to see how's the world works... or

"I know what you're thinking, 'cause right now I'm thinking the same thing. Actually, I've been thinking it ever since I got here: Why oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill?" from the movie "Matrix."

ah, i don't feel offended at all ... you have
a good sense of humor about these blue pills
from Matrix and/or red pills :-)

10-07-2004, 08:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
Emerica Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 179	Heather Whitestone When in 1994 Heather Whitestone became the first deaf woman to be crowned Miss America, why did deaf people dissapprove of her mother choose oral educated, not ASL.

10-08-2004, 09:28 AM	#8 (permalink)
Y Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 3,113	being mother is a tough job i think that heather's mom was doing a good job with only one deaf child but... i know of a Hearing mother doing much more difficult jobs because she has 4 deaf children they all went to the same oral school for the deaf, but each 4 deaf kids with SAME mother SAME school have different levels of oralism the first one was able speak pretty good, the second one spoke very fluently and very clearly, the third one was best in ASL, and the fourth one was pretty good. The whole point has nothing to do with the SAME Mother ! It depends on each child's mind, heart and MOTIVIATION. The Second child was very motiviated and enthusiastic to speak fluently like a Champion while the Third child had NO interest in learning how to speak, just prefer ASL. This Second Deaf child traveled all over the United States with school principal visiting many different civic clubs giving impromptu talks and appearances front of audiences full of philanthropists without any fear. Theses audience fell in love with this second deaf child because of her show personality and they felt as if she was talking with them in their own living rooms. She is now an adult leading a very quiet and very humble life and no one else knew much about her and they do NOT even to know how to reach or contact her. I feel very lucky to know how to reach and contact her anytime !! This is so sad because she had the capabilities to give a talk about deaf oralism/ASL/hearing aids/Cochlear implant I cannot print her name here I must ask her for permission first... __________________

10-08-2004, 07:51 PM	#10 (permalink)
Emerica Registered User Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 179	Last edited by Emerica; 10-08-2004 at 07:59 PM.

10-08-2004, 08:51 PM	#15 (permalink)
Cheri Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 20,755	I am not along one of the deaf person who doesn't approve her upbringing in Oral and not ASL... She did went to special school and then back to mainstream.. Levonian is correct. It was Heather's choice...Her hard work a determination paid off. I do not see why some Deaf people do not approved her upbringing It isn't our choice to judge her or her mother...She is someone I really look up to because, She doesn't let her deafness stop her way of being successful. I gotta say I am proud of her and in what she became. She showed us that we are people we can do anything we want if we set our goals high. __________________

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Today
Deafness	Sponsored Links __________________ This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

10-07-2004, 10:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
Angel ♥"Concrete Angel"♥ Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 18,902	Well, I'm not one of those Deaf people, I was raised to be oral too and my parents did not know much about the Deaf world, so this was very new to them nor that I ever blamed them ...but one thing I do wish is that they should have just asked around or look around for any kind of information about how to raise Deaf children..... Some Deaf people should understand that not alot of parents out there knows alot about how to rasie Deaf children or what school should they choose for their child, so I wouldn't go around blaming her mother for this, I think she only did was best for her daug by trying to fit her daug into the hearing world and her daug turn out to be a wonderful woman....be proud of who you are, shouldn't judge others just because they were raise differently....

10-07-2004, 11:17 PM	#4 (permalink)
Angel ♥"Concrete Angel"♥ Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 18,902	Well, Not all parents push their children into ' oralism ' but only think what would be best for them....I don't understand what's the big point of comparing parents for the decisions they make for their children...It's not your child we are talking about here, but someone else's....I'm not going to judge those parents out there who decide to have their child into being oral rather than ASL.... The thing is I ( We ) can be more supportive out there to help make an awareness for those ' new ' parents in ways that will be very helpful and encouraging in raising their Deaf child then we can all benefit and work together without having to be critical for how they raise their Deaf children....

10-07-2004, 11:34 PM	#5 (permalink)
TiaraPrincess Wazzup? Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 472	Because they are not capable of understanding the difference. That's what I think. It was obvious that she turned out well with that method, so I don't know what was the point trying to criticize Heather for her oral upbringing. Deafdyke, parents are terrified because they are clueless about deafness unlike you, who knows what it's really like to have a hearing loss and know it's not as terribel as it is. Just try to remember that hearing parents have zero knowledege about deafness. Would you tell a cancer patient who has a benign tumor not to cry? It's the same thing. It's a natural reaction. It's always gonna happen until they learn further.

10-08-2004, 01:39 AM	#7 (permalink)
coloravalanche Guest Posts: n/a	I think when deaf people disapproved of Heather's mother's decision...was very immature! They should realized what about their parents?? Did their parents learn sign? or oral? or mainstreaming? Whats the difference?? Why accused Heather's mom?? I think they were just being immature and jealous over at Heather for being successful and famous! I think Heather's mom did great job raising her daughter! They obviously communicate and are close...same with me and my mother... So, perhaps deaf people are jealous bez they dont have wonderful mom like Heather's?! Ive noticed deafies tend to be jealous of me...bez I speak well and I have wonderful family...it hurts me when some deafies dont want to be my friend...oh well! Its immature to be jealous with anything in life...we have to accept facts of life!

10-09-2004, 02:19 AM	#17 (permalink)
kuifje75 Guest Posts: n/a	Who the heck cares if Heather was/or is an oralist? Everyone is an individual and expecting an individual to conform to society standards is totally immature, if not stupid.

10-09-2004, 03:54 AM	#18 (permalink)
TiaraPrincess Wazzup? Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 472	[quote]Who the heck cares if Heather was/or is an oralist? Everyone is an individual and expecting an individual to conform to society standards is totally immature, if not stupid.[quote] Bravo! No one needs to explain their upbringings. It makes one feel like Joan of Arc. Dying for her beliefs. Come on!

10-09-2004, 07:30 PM	#19 (permalink)
deafdyke So NOT a Princess! Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Trebekistan Posts: 6,571	Well what precisely does the term oral deaf mean? I know of Deaf people who can hear and speak relatively well, but they don't think of themselves as oral deaf. Having oral skills does not make you oral deaf. I think part of the reason why some Deaf folks look down on oral deaf people is b/c of the attitude that some oralists have, that speech is the absolute best thing in the world and they don't need Sign b/c it's a "crutch" or "speshal needs" If some oralists didn't have that attitude, then perhaps oral deafies would be a lot more accepted by Deaf people.

10-10-2004, 02:40 AM	#20 (permalink)
TiaraPrincess Wazzup? Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 472	Maybe Deaf people have problems with their attitude too. I don't think it should be blamed on the oralists. The past was harsh, but that's all in the past. It should be forgiven and let go. It gets so old. I don't think holding grudges will help anything. I think some Deaf people feel intimidated and make it seem like it's too much to be an oralis, but it's true that having speech makes you more libarated to speak for yourself and with other people. There's no lie about that. I think of myself as more in the hard of hearing person even though I am deaf because of the way I was raised and what I feel about myself. An interpreter did not consider me deaf. Do I care? Not really. I care about what I feel is best to label myself, but I think we should be seen as human not an oral deaf person. I personaly did not like people labeling me as the deaf girl in high school because that makes me feel human. I had a name, and I wish people would know that because I didn't have to be stood out because I was just deaf. Oralists don't need to be stood out because they are too oral or deaf and don't sign. Deaf/deaf, hoh, oral deaf or whatever is up to the person. They know what they feel because they are in their own shoes. I don't think anyone's perfect.