RustyLastCall05

I wonder if you would learn to talk later in your life?

For me, I REFUSED TO LEARN TO TALK because I was exposed to sign language when I was baby. I felt that if I learn to talk later in my life, it will hurt my identity of deafness. Sign language is my first language. PERIOD.

Deafness

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Banjo

Talking will not hurt your identity of deafness, and it's important that you know the language of English in order to get somewhere in the real world. Sign language isn't a language, it's a form of communication. ASL is considered to be a language of many, but I prefer English because it's what I use the most.

I meant, I sign everyday, but English is more common since I write and read everyday. It outnumbers my use of signing big time. Ignorance can be a dangerous thing to hold.

The more you open yourself up to, the more the world will open up to you.

Defee

yeah i understand that sign language is your first language ..no problem!
I learn to speak when i was a toddler so oralism is my first and sign language second.

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VamPyroX

Sure, you can consider sign language... your first language. It doesn't hurt to have talking as a second language. Talking is my first language and signing is my second language. I see nothing wrong with that. However, you're gonna be giving yourself a hard time if you can talk... but refuse to talk when another person could benefit from your talking.

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Gemtun

You say you refuse to learn how to talk in later life.

I learned how to SIGN later in life (at age 23) so why are you limiting yourself?

Talking does not mean you no longer have a Deaf identity. No need to be so extreme. I talk & sign and I am still a Deaf person with a Deaf identity.

johnesco

ASL is my THIRD language

kuifje75

Even though I use ASL exclusively and am surrounded by deaf ppl almost every day, especially at my work; I still do speak with my voice. I grew up in a hearing family, and I would have speech training throughout my schooling until grade 12. However, I have not spoken much lately, and I think my speech is declining big time in the past 10 years. I don't think I really want to pay $$$ for speech therapists so I just speak whenever I absolutely have to. Sometimes I'm understood, sometimes I'm not. No big deal.

deafdyke

HappyRambo,
why would learning to talk destroy your Deaf idenity? English is my first language and I know tons of dhh people who learned English first and then learned to sign, but still idenitfy strongly as Deaf. I do myself.
I think speech training for dhh kids is a great idea as it's a very valuable skill. I know and understand the perspective of deafies who choose not to talk....hell speech therapy is damn frustrating, and it's frustrating to have to repeat yourself billions of times over, and not be understood by hearing people or to not "get" something someone said. I think most dhh should be educated both with oral training and with Sign, so they can choose how they want to commuicate.

RedheadGrrl

English is my first language. At 3 yrs old, I learned sign language. Both language are my life. You know my mother wanted me to learn how to talk and do the lipread also she let me to use sign language at school. My grandmother told my mom to learn sign language. My mother told her NO because she wanted her daughter go into hearing world and can communicate with others. Now, I have both worlds and I am happy with it.

CatoCooper13

I grew up with both spoken and signed english (SEE then ASL) -- My mother went to become an interpreter after she discovered I was deaf at 18 months old. My sister's deaf, too as well. Both sister and I know how to speak in english and use ASL exclusively as well when we're socialising with friends in the deaf community.
I also have another sign language that I use -- AUSLAN (Australian Sign Language) as I'm living in Australia and their sign language is very similar to BSL (British Sign Language) and a few signs from ASL.

I feel it's important to be able to talk whenever possible, in order to get my point across in the hearing society. You'll have to remember, we live in a majority hearing community. The deaf community's one of the minor groups.

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Til I hold my bub in my arms.

deafdyke

I'm OK with oral-only early on as long as Sign is also introduced relatively early...I think most dhh kids should learn to sign before age ten!

RedheadGrrl

I was born hearing. I became deaf when I was 2 and half yrs old. My mother didnt know what she was going to do with me. Social Worker told my mother go to deaf school 5 minutes from my house. So she took me there and saw teachers and the students were signing. My mother was freak but she let me learn.

deafdyke

Then how come your parents don't sign? I'm really confused? I mean I know most parents of Deafies don't sign, b/c those kids are oral failures, but you were exposed to Sign early on.....what's up with that?

deafdyke

Oh, so you're almost postlingaly deaf! (I think the term is perilingally deaf right?) That's cool that you got to learn sign right off the bat, and didn't need to wait for years and years to learn sign...are you glad you got to learn sign early on?

Kalista

Meg

You know that I can't speak very well. Otherwise, I can speak perfectly LMAO...

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BigSpike

Yes, it is NOTHING wrong about this...ASL is my primary language...but years pass..I learn to write English, when I was in high school, my english level was like 3rd to 4th grade level but my english teacher spent countless hour tutoring me to improve my writing and reading skill...I was like whoa I cant believe my ability boot up and improved as before I went to college...my english level jumped up to 12th grade senior level but right now it is more better than this. So my point, dont shut yourself into Deaf world fully...I am always pride to be Deaf and carry Deaf Pride identify..but U need to learn to assicoate with people who want to communicate with you. I cant speak or lip read very good but I am STRONG fluency ASL user..so when I chat with my hearing friends...I knew their communication method toward me..so it depends if paper and pen shuld be use or use interpreter.

Like Banjo said...open yourself...I agree with him...be wise..u said dont want to learn to talk its ok...most important is to develop good english skill why? So you can communicate with non deaf people who can understand you better than to have some people misunderstand due to summarized words.

webexplorer

It is so important for you to learn how to talk. If you still refuse, you will not find a better job - how can you communicate with your boss if he/she does not have a paper and pen at this time? A least, you try do your best to speak so that someone who could understand you.

I have a friend who talk poorly, and his boss understands him fairly. They write some notes each other. Lucky, he still works over 5 years. He is glad that he took a speech class before he graduated his school. You really need to take a speech class now before you finish your school. My speech therapist taught me how to speak properly for a long time.

Please do not fool yourself thinking in your mind about negative situation. You have to do it because you need to survive in the hearing world.

netrox

Well, Deaf Identity is not something you're born with. It's something you acquire through experience. Many Deaf people I know can speak and they're happy with having the ability to speak. If you could speak earlier, you may have thought differently.

-jeff

johnesco

Barios is the mexican word for "neighborhood".

When Mexicans move to the USA (legally or illegally), they often move into predominantly mexican neighborhoods so that their barber, dentist, or future spouse, will speak Spanish to them.

They never learn English and can never leave the Bario.

I'm sure a community of Spanish speaking friends is comforting, and it's nice to have people around who understand you better.. but to specifically REFUSE to learn English is only trapping yourself.

You have learned English, but what you are referring to specifically is not SPEAKING it.

I understand that speaking is VERY difficult when you can't hear. If I was deaf I'd rather write messages and use ASL.

However.. I don't think that it would hurt your Deaf identity. If you CAN learn to speak you should, because you will have more options. Just as I have many more options because I speak both Spanish and English (and more and more ASL everyday).

deafdyke

Yes. English is an excellent survival skill and a valuable tool. People from other countries learn English b/c English is the new Esperanto (the new "universal" language)
I have to say I'm VERY impressed by all the replies here, and I wish some of those idoits who think that all of us Deaf people are extreme radical seperatists could see this thread!
I do understand why someone would not choose to learn how to speak, but chosing to not speak b/c it might make you look "more hearing" is retarded!

Y

Would u be interested in playing Basketball ? it's almost
same thing by asking: Would u be interested in
learning how to speak fluently just like these
hearing people ? Interests v.s. Experiences

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dmarenz

Well I was raised to talk. I wasn't born deaf, but I've been deaf since a year and a half. My hearing is the worst - like 90 decibels and down. Everyone thought I should go to sign language instead of teaching me how to talk. My family wanted to me talk anyway. It took so many years of speech. For a short time I had the most perfect speech and I guess I should've stopped going to the deaf program, but my family didn't trust me. My speech is kind of garbled, I stutter, and I don't usually talk because I talk quite low. I wish I could've been sent to a program that taught you how to talk and sign (SEE or ASL). I'm glad I know sign language now, but if I had to choose, I'd talk later on in life. Spoken English is first, ASL is second, and Spanish is third.

deafdyke

Amen! I also wish I'd been able to learn how to speak AND Sign. I am glad I can hear and speak, but on the other hand a lot of oral practioners seem to be very chaunavistic about oralism, and seem to think that it's absolutly posituvely perfect with no downsides. I wish there was a widely accepted approach that gave ASL and speech equal weight. I know one of the problems is that some people feel that TC programs don't spend enough time on oral training. Then again, I recently found out that the majority of oral sucesses are the result of the private school effect. Most talented therapists are attracted to the private sector b/c it's where they can make the most money. Very few are attracted to public programs, like public early intervention.

logtar

Ditto

CrazyMomma

I learned to speak while growing up and I just learn to use sign language when I was 18 years old (senior in high school).. I am very very rusty in sign language but hoping to meet someone to improve my sign skills. I am very very talkative (nonstop) and I grew up in the hearing world, andI want to know what is like to be in deaf world. I have married my hearing husband and we have a hearing son, so I don't know what is like to be in the deaf world.

My mom and dad wanted me to talk not my hand.. Both of them wanted me to grow up in the hearing world that I would be comfortable in there instead of being in the deaf world.

farmerjoe

I concur, I was born hearing, in an all hearing family, diddn't have a hearing loss untill I was about 14, and it's been progressing ever since. (about 10 years now) I'm not deaf yet, but my ability to recognise speach is getting lower and lower and lower... and since I only hear on one side I can't tell what direction sounds come from etc.. I'm more "deaf" than I am "hearing" in that reguard.

I've tried to associate with some deaf people, I took ASL in college, it's tough.. people assume I'm hearing, and they don't bother talking to me... I recall a couple years ago I went to a party... a couple of people diddn't bother talking to me untill some one else told them I was hard-of-hearing. oh then I'm "one of them" I guess. ugh.

It took me a bit to figure out a few other things.. For one, I learned that Deaf people are not at all impressed at my ability to speak. Here's the thing.. I will speak if I know for a fact that the other person hears and does not sign. If you don't like it go @^ yourself.

Someone explained to me that one reson some deaf seem to resent people who speak is because of the long hours in speech therapy that were like hell. I can understand how they'd be bitter about that sort of thing but hey, just because I speak dosn't mean that I think I'm better than any one else.

It's a sad fact that a good chunck of our society thinks that you need to speak in order to be "normal" but speaking is not such a big deal. Good english skills are what make the difference. If you can read and write you'll do very well.

For those of you who lost your hearing after learning to speak: has your speech degraded as time goes on? I have found that speaking is not like riding a bike. I have to be very carefull to form my words correctly. the sounds I don't hear anymore are the ones I have the most trouble with.. I never hear them and I tend to drop them in my own speech without realizing it.

- farmerjoe

deafdyke

Sigh......limiting access to the deaf-world doesn't mean that a person will automaticly be comfortable in the hearing-world. I can't stand that presumption, that the hearing world is the best thing in the world. It does have it's values and highlights, but it is NOT the best thing in the world...The deaf-world has it's values and highlights too! Too many of our parents listened to the parents who still had emoitional fuckups about having a child who was "different"

Y