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Unread 02-10-2012, 11:00 PM   #1
Dixie
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Facebook Parenting: Troubled teen. (did the father overreact?)

I'm sure some of you may have already seen this video. But for those of you who haven't, the gist of it is this:

A 15 year old girl posted a profanity laden letter to her parents on facebook ranting about having to do a few chores around the house. This was the second incident that this happened. The first time the father had warned against her doing this and previously grounded her and took away all of her privileges. She did it again, and she thought she had it blocked from her parents who couldn't see it. Well, her dad works as an IT for a living and he was upgrading her laptop and adding new software ($130 worth of it) to get it like she wanted it for school. She had also begged him to get her a new battery for it and a new power cord and camera. The teen refuses to get a job an won't do the few chores she is asked to do. The father addressed these and because the daughter disrespected the father, he put some .45 caliber pistol rounds into her laptop.

Here is the video from youtube:

I think the father is justified in what he did considering what the content of the post was and the fact that she had been fairly warned once before about this and did it anyway. However, some say the father acted out of anger and frustration and was also just as childish as his own daughter.

So do you think he was justified or do you think he over reacted??
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Unread 02-11-2012, 12:42 AM   #2
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It was a little extreme, but my husband would totally have done the same thing. I would not have used a gun... I would have sold it, and used the money for a spa treatment for the stress she was causing me.

I say justified. I would, however, question how a person who shoots a laptop out of frustration is allowed to own a firearm? Perhaps that state should reexamine their screening process.
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Unread 02-11-2012, 03:46 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dixie View Post
I'm sure some of you may have already seen this video. But for those of you who haven't, the gist of it is this:

A 15 year old girl posted a profanity laden letter to her parents on facebook ranting about having to do a few chores around the house. This was the second incident that this happened. The first time the father had warned against her doing this and previously grounded her and took away all of her privileges. She did it again, and she thought she had it blocked from her parents who couldn't see it. Well, her dad works as an IT for a living and he was upgrading her laptop and adding new software ($130 worth of it) to get it like she wanted it for school. She had also begged him to get her a new battery for it and a new power cord and camera. The teen refuses to get a job an won't do the few chores she is asked to do. The father addressed these and because the daughter disrespected the father, he put some .45 caliber pistol rounds into her laptop.

Here is the video from youtube:
Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen. - YouTube

I think the father is justified in what he did considering what the content of the post was and the fact that she had been fairly warned once before about this and did it anyway. However, some say the father acted out of anger and frustration and was also just as childish as his own daughter.

So do you think he was justified or do you think he over reacted??
I think it's the end result that matters the most - and the end result is, this whole incident got them to sit down and have a long heart to heart talk with each other.
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Unread 02-11-2012, 03:53 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JanatheShort View Post
It was a little extreme, but my husband would totally have done the same thing. I would not have used a gun... I would have sold it, and used the money for a spa treatment for the stress she was causing me.

I say justified. I would, however, question how a person who shoots a laptop out of frustration is allowed to own a firearm? Perhaps that state should reexamine their screening process.
might not have been out of frustration? He might have planned this and done it with reaction from his daughter in mind. Being in IT I'm pretty sure he knew that she was going to see the video somehow.
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Unread 02-11-2012, 03:59 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by JabberJay View Post
might not have been out of frustration? He might have planned this and done it with reaction from his daughter in mind. Being in IT I'm pretty sure he knew that she was going to see the video somehow.
He posted the video on her Facebook wall - he fully intended her to see it. You can even see his facebook page if you want and see what he has to say.
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Unread 02-11-2012, 04:03 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeafCaroline View Post
He posted the video on her Facebook wall - he fully intended her to see it. You can even see his facebook page if you want and see what he has to say.
yeah I read pieces of it. Enough to know that no harm was done and she realizes her mistakes. They had a heart to heart and even she thinks that the comments on the video are off.
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Unread 02-11-2012, 06:20 PM   #7
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He is over reacted. Shoot on laptop then posted on FB Bad example. teenagers will always be a teenagers. this young lady may have been done wrong but she is not only one. My niece removed my great-niece who is 15 (soon to be 16) for same thing as this father's daughter ranted against her parents on fb. Now she is back and her parents keep eye on her all the time. It works. She is careful what she says on FB from now on. My nephew in law did not shoot the laptop. Something wrong with this picture.
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Unread 02-11-2012, 09:04 PM   #8
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Jazzy, this girl had done it once before and was grounded and given a fair warning for what would be the consequences if she did it again. She did it again, the father followed through on his promise.
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Unread 02-11-2012, 11:16 PM   #9
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Guns should never be used for discipline. Never.
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Unread 02-11-2012, 11:31 PM   #10
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Growing up, I was around guns and hunting. I think the Dad using a gun in this case was a bit over the top. Makes me wonder, too, about some other things....
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Unread 02-11-2012, 11:36 PM   #11
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I would have thrown the laptop into a woodchipper. Now don't go banning woodchippers pretty please.

Yes, I am fully aware that some people might find it disturbing to see that poor little laptop writhing in agony on the ground.
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Unread 02-12-2012, 01:53 AM   #12
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After seeing the updates on how the dad and daughter are doing... I'm totally good with this, even the weapon part.
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Unread 02-12-2012, 03:29 AM   #13
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I think the main message the father was trying to convey to his daughter is to respect those who love you, or everything around you gets destroyed. This most certainly includes relationships. Trust is seldom ever given back to those who destroy it.

This father loves his daughter very much and to see her act so callously towards him and her mother shows she did not value them. So, taking something she "valued" and destroying it does not even hold a candle to the relationship she attempted to destroy with her parents.

The laptop can be replaced but you only get one mom and one dad. And .... mom and dad are not around forever.
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Unread 02-12-2012, 10:52 AM   #14
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Of course she's behaving fine. Probably scared out of her wits. Using scare tactics such as this one means he as a parent is reacting, when he should have been proactive. Destroying property? If his wife did something he did not like and he destroyed her laptop, we say it is emotional abuse. But it is okay for a kid? He should have simply taken it away, along with its privledges. And discipline should be private, not publicized. Anyone who has taken a basic course in child development would know her behavior is actually TYPICAL. Pain in the ass, yes, but normal. She is pushing boundaries, being rebellious, expressing her thoughts inappropriately. Most of us did it, and most of us wrote our thoughts in a diary...we didn't have Facebook. I am very concerned for this child.
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Unread 02-12-2012, 11:44 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dixie View Post
Jazzy, this girl had done it once before and was grounded and given a fair warning for what would be the consequences if she did it again. She did it again, the father followed through on his promise.
If my dad was doing something like this to me, I will never forgave him. It stays with you for rest of your life then deal with emotional issues because of this. This guy is one of example, bad parenting, that is all i can say. My great-niece have a wonderful parents, just the phase all teenagers are going thru some of them will repeat because something is wrong in their home.
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Unread 02-12-2012, 01:32 PM   #16
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It would be emotional abuse if the father had publicly called her a selfish little bitch in the video, and just flat out threw her out of the house and left her to fend for herself in the big bad world. But he didn't. He loved her enough to use the same tactics his daughter used on him to publicly humiliate her the same way she humiliated him in public. He didn't call her any bad names, instead he told her how disappointed he was in her actions and the consequences for her actions. If he did not love his daughter at all he wouldn't have even bothered to discipline her. He wouldn't have taken the time to show his daughter that what she is doing is not acceptable.

I showed my mom the video last night and I asked her, what would you have done if I had done this very thing at aged 15? She looked at me and bluntly said - I would have shot you instead of the computer. That just shows you how strict and rough my mom can be. My dad would have been worse. I think he would have literally beat me senseless if I had done that very thing to him. Yes as a teen I would bitch about doing the dishes occasionally (I had to do it all the time but I would occasionally bitch about it), when I did I would have loads more chores added to my list for a week and I would get grounded. That's when I just learned to not bitch about it around my parents. I damn sure would have never bitched about them on Facebook and wrote what that girl wrote on FB about her parents. Yes I was raised rough, I will admit that. But I wouldn't go so far as to say that I would never be there for my parents to care for them in old age the way this girl did. She thinks she wants to sever the relationship, but when she is older, she will want to wish she could just go back home to mom and dad for comfort.

This girl just doesn't realize how good she has it compared to some kids. I grew up never owning a pair of name-brand shoes, all my clothes came from walmart or kmart, or when things were tight - goodwill or salvation army. I never got a cell phone at all until I was able to pay for one myself. I still pay for my cell phone. A personal laptop at that age would have been totally out of the question. Either use the family computer or nothing at all. That's what we had. I have been working since age 17 without complaint - I may not always like my job but I'm thankful I even have a job. I remember my dad yelling screaming and cussing at me when I was a little kid and holding me up in the air by my ears. I remember my mom slapping me around until I had red welts all over my face. I remember my dad taking all of my toys out of my bedroom at age 5 and making me throw them into the trash compactor at the city dump and watch my toys end up smashed and destroyed because I did not pick them up off the floor. I didn't get a single new toy until Christmas that year.

I didn't get a TV in my own bedroom until I was 15.

I still argue with my dad a lot and I do resent how he treated me but that doesn't mean I will go around spouting off things like this girl has in an attempt to sever the relationship. At some point I will forgive my dad, but I also know I should be grateful that I even got to have my dad in my life. Some people, like my own daughter, never get to meet their dad, and some people lose both of their parents before aged 18 (a girl in my high school class lost her mother to cancer when she was 7, and her dad to alcohol poisoning the weekend before she started her senior year of high school.)

I'm glad I had consequences growing up, and I'm glad I got to grow up with both of my parents even if it was rough.
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Unread 02-12-2012, 02:08 PM   #17
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My parents does not believe in guns so do I. I would never use this quote, I would shoot you if you were out of line. My mother only once spanked me when i was 4 because I pushed my cousin down the stair way and almost killed her. She never touch me again after this and my father never touched me but he did spanked my siblings and took them long time to forgave him even he was dead almost 30 years ago. I grew up poor, hand on from my older sibilings clothes. Share same old bed with siblings. Few toys to play. Food were sacred for us. We dont have food stamps back then. We grew up and things got better for us. I got my first tv in my bedroom with closed captioned at age 16. did not have tty. School came first for me than work part time job. I was my parents angel and were envy by many parents because I was raised right thing and I hardly get in trouble. My parents made mistakes with first 5 then did right thing with me. I was well happy being teenager and not need any displicine from my parents. they trusted me. till I was 17 and had a boyfriend, things changed little bit but I still obeyed them. I stayed home till 21 to get married. Now I have two grown up sons, boys are tough one too and I let my husband handled them in boys way. If boys showed me disrespected, then they were in big surprised. Now they said they deserved it because they never do it again after the first time. Just let you know my boys did not have cell phone either and they bought them themselves and one went to work part time during high school (because he was very smart kid and need to keep him busy) but youngest one I won't let him to get a part time job till he finished high school with diploma because of his LD. Do you think my husband would shoot laptop with his gun? No he will not do it because if he do it then he disrespects me.


I feel sorry for this girl, why she got in trouble in first place? something bad happened to her? We never know but I disagree with this man, he is bad example to her. We the parents have to be good example to our kids and our kids too with their kids and goes on and on.
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Unread 02-12-2012, 06:04 PM   #18
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I showed this to my dad today...
"33 mag would have done a better job"
My mom
"That's all he did?"

My inlaws over email (they raise cattle)
"our cows would have had some fun jumping on it."

my sister in law
"bow target practice?" (bow and arrows)

brother in law (older)
" I would have jumped on it."

brother in law (younger)
"...cool but I would have tried to make a intelligent robot for myself to do the dishes."


I gotta love my family
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Unread 02-21-2012, 02:48 PM   #19
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Here is the video with interpretation:

It isn't surprising that she over-reacted to being given chores. Disproportionate reactions are obviously what she's being taught.
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Unread 02-25-2012, 06:02 PM   #20
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The Dad should have gotten rid of this updated lap top and replaced it with a 6 years old lap top, then tell daughter, see how you like a slow dial up.
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Unread 02-25-2012, 06:59 PM   #21
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The Dad should have gotten rid of this updated lap top and replaced it with a 6 years old lap top, then tell daughter, see how you like a slow dial up.
1. where can you find a 6-years old laptop?
2. where can you find a dial-up service?
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Unread 02-25-2012, 07:25 PM   #22
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1. where can you find a 6-years old laptop?
2. where can you find a dial-up service?
Just go back in time and have fun
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Unread 02-27-2012, 07:49 PM   #23
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I've read the story following up on this and I found the father to be completely justified.

He explained his daughter had no respect for anything given to her. She failed to do her chores - which her father explained, she wouldn't have any when she gets a job - and fails to see the value in things.

She's had numerous phones replaced because she doesn't care. The laptop was bought for her, she doesn't care.

Her dad isn't interested in talking to the press - he doesn't want his words twisted - so he will post answers on Facebook so he knows it's what HE has said.

Her dad isn't saying what he did was right, he just said it was appropriate action at the time.

All in all I think the Dad has a pretty good head on his shoulders.

My parents brought me up that if I want something, I need to work for it.
My brother and I got a small TV each for Christmas but we had to buy our own VCR (then later DVD) players. If we wanted gameboys, segas, playstations etc we had to do our chores to get them.

Seems this father is doing his best to raise a girl not to be spoilt.

Good on him I say
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Unread 02-28-2012, 02:13 PM   #24
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Look, this is easy. This is not just 'a little extreme'. This is highly uncalled for. A use of a firearm is unacceptable in any form relating to the family in any given point or example. Period. It disturbs me greatly that this man is getting a lot of kudos for doing this. They need counseling now. The laptop is linked to the girl and he shot it. Try to keep it simple to see the right and wrong of things instead of making it all complex and opinionated like a lot do on his blog. He is a gun nut and I have seen how gun nuts are. They have the tendency to carry some elevated amount of stress.
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