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Unread 10-18-2011, 03:23 PM   #1
ash345
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external pressure

So much pressure from everyone around me to get a CI... I don't think I even qualify for a CI because of my nerve damage... but there is so much pressure around me to get one. My mom (who is finally learning ASL) my SO, my work, my doctors, it seems like everyone around me is pressuring me to try and get into the hearing world, which I don't want to be a part of anymore, I am happy being deaf. I just got another audiogram today, and my hearing has dropped significantly... but thats fine with me... but apparently not anyone around me. I am doing my best to try and stave off the pressure I am feeling... but so many people are just... so... persistant... There are too many negative side effects of a CI, I don't want the vertigo, I don't want the seizures, I don't want the migraines (I already have enough...) I just want to be allowed to be me...to be to be happy... for letting me rant.
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Unread 10-18-2011, 03:28 PM   #2
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be upfront with them, and tell them to back off, you don't want it! Your body, your decision, they need to leave you alone about it. I would hate getting pressured like that.
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Unread 10-18-2011, 03:37 PM   #3
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I used to get a lot of pressure too and at first, I was very nice and gentle about saying no and being understanding that they just wanted what they thought was best for me but when they kept it up, then I made it very clear that "this discussion is over".

What do you say when they keep talking about it?
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Unread 10-18-2011, 03:42 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeafCaroline View Post
I used to get a lot of pressure too and at first, I was very nice and gentle about saying no and being understanding that they just wanted what they thought was best for me but when they kept it up, then I made it very clear that "this discussion is over".

What do you say when they keep talking about it?
I tell them that I don't want a CI, that there are too many negative consequences... that I'm happy being deaf... that I need them to sign to me... but they just don't get it... I'm getting tired of it... my mom I started to think that she was understanding finally... but it turns out... I was wrong... I donno... I don't want a CI... I don't feel that I need to be fixed, I am find just the way I am... why can't other people see that?
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Unread 10-18-2011, 03:46 PM   #5
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Just tell them you're not interested in discussing it anymore and just don't reply or answer in any way if they won't stop. They'll give up. They'll only keep talking about it if you do too.
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Unread 10-18-2011, 03:51 PM   #6
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Agree with DC on this one. Make it clear you have looked into it, have made your decision, and that's not the way you want to go. End of story. If they keep it up, just say "this discussion is over, thanks." Walk away if necessary.
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Unread 10-18-2011, 05:02 PM   #7
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these people are being pushy so tell them to lump off by standing up for yourself in a postive way
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Unread 10-21-2011, 01:55 PM   #8
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Getting a CI is an intensely personal decision. My ex let herself get talked into getting a CI and was miserable. I told her if she does not like it, then just stop using it. So she stopped using it and is much happier now. Of course she did not tell me how miserable she was until AFTER the divorce... ah well...
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Unread 10-21-2011, 02:05 PM   #9
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My ENT is pushing and pushing me also....It gets aggravating at times...he said after my surgery, I would see their "CI Diva"...blah, blah, blah....Even marked on my record...'CI Candidate"...

I admit, I almost caved in a few times...but basically, I'm pretty happy with the way I am. However, not all people feel that way about someone who is deaf!
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Unread 10-21-2011, 03:42 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rockin'robin View Post
My ENT is pushing and pushing me also....It gets aggravating at times...he said after my surgery, I would see their "CI Diva"...blah, blah, blah....Even marked on my record...'CI Candidate"...

I admit, I almost caved in a few times...but basically, I'm pretty happy with the way I am. However, not all people feel that way about someone who is deaf!
I really hope that my ENT doesn't do that... I'm being sent to an ENT because of how fast my hearing has "deteriorated" (as my audi put it, but I like to think how my deafness has advanced) and at first they didn't even want to provide a terp for me... so hopefully... hopefully he doesn't try to force me into a CI too... I really don't want one. I also am pretty happy with the way I am... I am so much happier now that I have accepted, and really embraced, my deafness then when I (and my family) was trying to force myself into the hearing world... and I think that is what a CI would do to me...try and force me into the hearing world again... all the progress I have made with my family accepting me for who I am, I think would go out the window...
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Unread 10-21-2011, 06:49 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ash345 View Post
I tell them that I don't want a CI, that there are too many negative consequences... that I'm happy being deaf... that I need them to sign to me... but they just don't get it... I'm getting tired of it... my mom I started to think that she was understanding finally... but it turns out... I was wrong... I donno... I don't want a CI... I don't feel that I need to be fixed, I am find just the way I am... why can't other people see that?
Because they are small-minded and not willing to step out of their comfort zone to take on a different perspective.
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Unread 10-21-2011, 06:51 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by ash345 View Post
I really hope that my ENT doesn't do that... I'm being sent to an ENT because of how fast my hearing has "deteriorated" (as my audi put it, but I like to think how my deafness has advanced) and at first they didn't even want to provide a terp for me... so hopefully... hopefully he doesn't try to force me into a CI too... I really don't want one. I also am pretty happy with the way I am... I am so much happier now that I have accepted, and really embraced, my deafness then when I (and my family) was trying to force myself into the hearing world... and I think that is what a CI would do to me...try and force me into the hearing world again... all the progress I have made with my family accepting me for who I am, I think would go out the window...
Oh yes, they could increase the pressure on you because to them, it is a lot of money paid so the pressure to make the money worth it will be greater.
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Unread 10-21-2011, 07:16 PM   #13
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Wirelessly posted (Backberry)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ash345
Quote:
Originally Posted by rockin'robin View Post
My ENT is pushing and pushing me also....It gets aggravating at times...he said after my surgery, I would see their "CI Diva"...blah, blah, blah....Even marked on my record...'CI Candidate"...

I admit, I almost caved in a few times...but basically, I'm pretty happy with the way I am. However, not all people feel that way about someone who is deaf!
I really hope that my ENT doesn't do that... I'm being sent to an ENT because of how fast my hearing has "deteriorated" (as my audi put it, but I like to think how my deafness has advanced) and at first they didn't even want to provide a terp for me... so hopefully... hopefully he doesn't try to force me into a CI too... I really don't want one. I also am pretty happy with the way I am... I am so much happier now that I have accepted, and really embraced, my deafness then when I (and my family) was trying to force myself into the hearing world... and I think that is what a CI would do to me...try and force me into the hearing world again... all the progress I have made with my family accepting me for who I am, I think would go out the window...
You are right. I have a CI and that's exactly what it did. Pushed me right back into the hearing world. People don't know how hard I work to fit in and hear everything that is said. I worked so hard to be hearing that I made myself sick. I've debated back and forth if it was worth it. I dunno, I am happy being myself either with my CI or with out. Either way I still identify myself as Deaf.
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Unread 10-21-2011, 07:34 PM   #14
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I just tell people that I am not a candidate. End of discussion. I might add "thank you for taking an interest" if I'm feeling snarky.
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