AllDeaf.com
Perks - Advertise - Spy - Who Quoted Me  
Go Back   AllDeaf.com > Miscellaneous > On-topic Debates
LIKE AllDeaf on Facebook FOLLOW AllDeaf on Twitter
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 08-27-2011, 01:59 PM   #1
Doug5
Registered User
 
Doug5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 880
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Why Is Polygamy So Controversial?

It happend in the Bible and other major religions. I totally understand why most women wouldnt want to share a husband, but a small minority doesnt mind. Whats the big deal?

Im talking about consenting adults, not those child marriages that was in the news recently

Topic moved from General to Debates
Moderator naisho

Last edited by naisho; 11-29-2011 at 01:14 AM.
Doug5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Alt Today
All Deaf

Beitrag Sponsored Links

__________________
This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members.
Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com
   
Unread 08-27-2011, 02:04 PM   #2
sallylou
Potterhead and Janeite
 
sallylou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: My own private Idaho
Posts: 6,652
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Because it's a patriarchal institution that harms women and children.
__________________
sallylou is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 02:18 PM   #3
ash345
Audist Free Zone
 
ash345's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 806
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I must point out... there is a difference between polygamy and being polyamorous. Polygamy is only the male getting multiple wives... polyamorous is having multiple partners... where it is not limited to one person in the family...
__________________
with a capital D, more than just a state of being, its family, belonging, home

"Love and dreams are miraculous, they don't need to be heard or said or translated, only felt"

That Deaf Girl
ash345 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 02:27 PM   #4
Reba
Retired Terp
 
Reba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 46,443
Likes: 78
Liked 169 Times in 81 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug5 View Post
It happend in the Bible and other major religions....
In happened historically in the world, and the Bible recorded that. God never approved of polygamy.
Reba is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 02:27 PM   #5
sallylou
Potterhead and Janeite
 
sallylou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: My own private Idaho
Posts: 6,652
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Yes, I was referring to polygamy beause the OP specifically addressed it.
I don't see women lining up to join in polygamy. It occurs in a closed society without recruits. The same as the "quiverful" movement that requires a woman to be a brood mare her whole life. I'm grateful for birth control. My health would have never held up w/o it.
__________________
sallylou is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 02:56 PM   #6
Jazzberry
Registered User
 
Jazzberry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New York State
Posts: 761
Blog Entries: 2
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I think polygamy hurts men too. Sure some men end up with multiple wives -- but for that to happen, many men must end up with not even one wife!

And in some sects that practice polygamy, they throw out the boys while they are still young to eliminated the competition and to help the leaders maintain a strong control over their sect.

And you really can't leave out child marriages when discussing polygamy, because practically speaking that is the best way to implement it -- marry the female while she is still very young and doesn't have any other options.

Lastly, as practiced in the US among some of the sects that have been in the news over the past decade or so, the men can't afford their huge "families". So society helps fund this through welfare, foodstamps and medicaid payments.
Jazzberry is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 03:11 PM   #7
sallylou
Potterhead and Janeite
 
sallylou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: My own private Idaho
Posts: 6,652
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Good point. The crazy leader that was just convicted allegedly reassigned wives to different men. He was busted for sex with minors (testimony from males and females). So, male children were abused then abondoned. Such a bad situation for all people abused.
__________________
sallylou is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 03:22 PM   #8
rebeccalj
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,585
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug5 View Post
It happend in the Bible and other major religions. I totally understand why most women wouldnt want to share a husband, but a small minority doesnt mind. Whats the big deal?

Im talking about consenting adults, not those child marriages that was in the news recently
It doesn't bother me as long as consenting adults but, if man can have more than 1 wife, I want more than 1 husband. Polyandry.
rebeccalj is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 03:43 PM   #9
Babyblue
Registered User
 
Babyblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Florida
Posts: 12,232
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Because I do not like to share.
Babyblue is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 03:53 PM   #10
jillio
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 60,294
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
It is controversial because Westernized value systems deem it so.
jillio is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 03:59 PM   #11
rebeccalj
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,585
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillio View Post
It is controversial because Westernized value systems deem it so.
It like saying hearing better than deaf. Why?
rebeccalj is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 04:17 PM   #12
sallylou
Potterhead and Janeite
 
sallylou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: My own private Idaho
Posts: 6,652
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I think that it's because the main goal of the laws regulating marriage is to protect the children and make sure that they are adequately provided for.
__________________
sallylou is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 04:25 PM   #13
Reba
Retired Terp
 
Reba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 46,443
Likes: 78
Liked 169 Times in 81 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jazzberry View Post
I think polygamy hurts men too. Sure some men end up with multiple wives -- but for that to happen, many men must end up with not even one wife!

And in some sects that practice polygamy, they throw out the boys while they are still young to eliminated the competition and to help the leaders maintain a strong control over their sect.

And you really can't leave out child marriages when discussing polygamy, because practically speaking that is the best way to implement it -- marry the female while she is still very young and doesn't have any other options.

Lastly, as practiced in the US among some of the sects that have been in the news over the past decade or so, the men can't afford their huge "families". So society helps fund this through welfare, foodstamps and medicaid payments.
Good points.
Reba is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 06:19 PM   #14
posts from hell
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,430
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Because we are in a socialistic country. People don't like the playa gettin' all the goodz.
posts from hell is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 07:35 PM   #15
deafskeptic
Premium Member
 
deafskeptic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 14,527
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by sallylou View Post
Wirelessly posted (droid)

Good point. The crazy leader that was just convicted allegedly reassigned wives to different men. He was busted for sex with minors (testimony from males and females). So, male children were abused then abondoned. Such a bad situation for all people abused.
That's sad.
__________________
Left ear implanted with Med-El on April 24 2007.
Activated on May 9th.
Upgraded to Opus 2 9/10/2010

Think Pink.
FREE JILLIO!
deafskeptic is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 07:53 PM   #16
deafdyke
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Trebekistan
Posts: 14,122
Likes: 23
Liked 7 Times in 4 Posts
Send a message via AIM to deafdyke
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillio View Post
It is controversial because Westernized value systems deem it so.
Um not quite. It's about males being self centered and feeding their ego about how they can get all these women. It's not about having a real loving healthy realtionship with women. It's about seeing women as possessions.
deafdyke is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 07:54 PM   #17
deafdyke
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Trebekistan
Posts: 14,122
Likes: 23
Liked 7 Times in 4 Posts
Send a message via AIM to deafdyke
Seriously, if the guy who founded the Mormons and who advocated polygamy was around today, he would be classfied as a sex addict.
deafdyke is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 07:55 PM   #18
posts from hell
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 9,430
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by deafdyke View Post
Seriously, if the guy who founded the Mormons and who advocated polygamy was around today, he would be classfied as a sex addict.
Mr. Smith is not a sex addict.
posts from hell is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 08:34 PM   #19
deafbajagal
Registered User
 
deafbajagal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 5,171
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Let people marry whoever they want as many as they want. As long as they are consenting adults. Government, butt out of our personal lives PLEASE.
deafbajagal is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 09:34 PM   #20
rebeccalj
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,585
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by posts from hell View Post
Mr. Smith is not a sex addict.
How do you know?
rebeccalj is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 11:30 PM   #21
kristy2078
Registered User
 
kristy2078's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: New Hampshire, USA
Posts: 261
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by deafbajagal View Post
Let people marry whoever they want as many as they want. As long as they are consenting adults. Government, butt out of our personal lives PLEASE.
In cults, it's not really consensual. Brain washing is usually involved on the women's part.
kristy2078 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 11:34 PM   #22
jillio
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 60,294
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by deafdyke View Post
Um not quite. It's about males being self centered and feeding their ego about how they can get all these women. It's not about having a real loving healthy realtionship with women. It's about seeing women as possessions.
Which is a Westernized value system. It has nothing to do with being self centered or feeding their ego. It is the accepted norm for the way their society is set up. You are attributing motive from your own Westernized perspective of how things are supposed to be.
jillio is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 11:36 PM   #23
Sunshine
Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Home of Canucks!
Posts: 3,269
Blog Entries: 2
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by posts from hell View Post
Mr. Smith is not a sex addict.
But hasn't it long been proved he forged basis of entire Mormon religion?
Sunshine is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-27-2011, 11:59 PM   #24
Doug5
Registered User
 
Doug5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 880
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by deafdyke View Post
Um not quite. It's about males being self centered and feeding their ego about how they can get all these women. It's not about having a real loving healthy realtionship with women. It's about seeing women as possessions.
Using that logic, it sounds like youre saying women cant think for themselves.

Im not talking about the child marriages. There are people that marry one child. Using that agrument, Is like saying all marraige is bad.

Im talking about 2 consenting adults.
Doug5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-28-2011, 12:54 AM   #25
rebeccalj
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,585
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doug5 View Post
Using that logic, it sounds like youre saying women cant think for themselves.

Im not talking about the child marriages. There are people that marry one child. Using that agrument, Is like saying all marraige is bad.

Im talking about 2 consenting adults.
I was a child marriage in the Mormon religion. One child is *TOO* many in my opinion.
rebeccalj is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-28-2011, 01:02 AM   #26
Steinhauer
Registered User
 
Steinhauer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 11,092
Blog Entries: 2
Likes: 78
Liked 9 Times in 7 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccalj View Post
I was a child marriage in the Mormon religion. One child is *TOO* many in my opinion.
Do you mean to say that you were married when you were a child in a Mormom polygamous marriage?

Just asking to clarify.
Steinhauer is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-28-2011, 01:12 AM   #27
rebeccalj
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,585
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steinhauer View Post
Do you mean to say that you were married when you were a child in a Mormom polygamous marriage?

Just asking to clarify.
Sorry, my parents were Orthadox Mormon, as opposed to Mormon. I think this is topic. I was just turn 18 a few weeks and married off to a man who I do not know but was just 4 year older than me. Odd that. I was probably deemed 'lucky.' I was a virgin bride, did not know anything about sex back then, nothing. I left him, abusive husband that he was, not even 3 year into marriage with him. Entire family disown me. Take my two older daughters and hid them hoping I come back to marriage. I did not and fought? in court in BC for 7 year to get my two babies back. I won.

Is that you question?

ETA: Sorry, not polygamous marriage but I know of others my age who were.
rebeccalj is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-28-2011, 01:14 AM   #28
Steinhauer
Registered User
 
Steinhauer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 11,092
Blog Entries: 2
Likes: 78
Liked 9 Times in 7 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccalj View Post
Sorry, my parents were Orthadox Mormon, as opposed to Mormon. I think this is topic. I was just turn 18 a few weeks and married off to a man who I do not know but was just 4 year older than me. Odd that. I was probably deemed 'lucky.' I was a virgin bride, did not know anything about sex back then, nothing. I left him, abusive husband that he was, not even 3 year into marriage with him.

Is that you question?
So it was a pre-arranged marriage? Sorry for being nosy.
Steinhauer is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-28-2011, 01:22 AM   #29
rebeccalj
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,585
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steinhauer View Post
So it was a pre-arranged marriage? Sorry for being nosy.
It's *NOT* nosy. If people never ask, or care, how do you ever know the secret behind close door. People should *always* ask!

I don't know how to say "arranged" but that is how I explain it to hearies. Like East Indian marriages? But I am not East Indian...just white Danish Deaf gal.

My parents meet with his family and "sell" me to them if that make sense? Say I make good wife. Have lots of kids.

Bullshit! We marry and he is horrible to me. He *rape* me once and say it is his right as husband. Do not have cheque book or key to home. He want hide me. Not want me to have identity. Do you understand?
rebeccalj is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 08-28-2011, 01:30 AM   #30
Steinhauer
Registered User
 
Steinhauer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 11,092
Blog Entries: 2
Likes: 78
Liked 9 Times in 7 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by rebeccalj View Post
It's *NOT* nosy. If people never ask, or care, how do you ever know the secret behind close door. People should *always* ask!

I don't know how to say "arranged" but that is how I explain it to hearies. Like East Indian marriages? But I am not East Indian...just white Danish Deaf gal.

My parents meet with his family and "sell" me to them if that make sense? Say I make good wife. Have lots of kids.

Bullshit! We marry and he is horrible to me. He *rape* me once and say it is his right as husband. Do not have cheque book or key to home. He want hide me. Not want me to have identity. Do you understand?
rebeccalj, I absolutely understand. Thank you for answering my questions. My wife went through a similar situation with her ex husband (the part bolded in red in your post). He took away her mobile device so she couldn't commnuicate with family, took away the videophone and locked her in the apartment for .....three ..... months!

And he got away with it

But ... it's over now.
Steinhauer is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:39 AM.


Join AllDeaf on Facebook!    Follow us on Twitter!

AllDeaf proudly supports St. Jude Children's Research Hospital

Copyright © 2002-2014, AllDeaf.com. All Rights Reserved.