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Unread 01-08-2011, 06:52 PM   #1
horsegal
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date ideas?

I may have fallen head over heels for a fantastic man, who happens to be Deaf. He went out once with me, along with a group of friends who all sign, it was his first time being out with hearing folks. I don't know if he'd even be INTERESTED in me.. I don't sign fluently but I am practicing every day to become better. Anyway.
I want to ask him to go to a movie with me -- I've heard the RW captions can be a pain, and the only two movies I've found with open captions are Yogi Bear and Little Fockers. Has anyone seen either of these? Are they any good? Or are the RW captions not that bad? I mean, honestly I just want an excuse to be with him, and a movie is a good excuse to be right beside him for an hour or 2. Otherwise, does anyone have any other good date ideas for a chilly winter day?
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Unread 01-09-2011, 08:14 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by horsegal View Post
I may have fallen head over heels for a fantastic man, who happens to be Deaf. He went out once with me, along with a group of friends who all sign, it was his first time being out with hearing folks. I don't know if he'd even be INTERESTED in me.. I don't sign fluently but I am practicing every day to become better. Anyway.
I want to ask him to go to a movie with me -- I've heard the RW captions can be a pain, and the only two movies I've found with open captions are Yogi Bear and Little Fockers. Has anyone seen either of these? Are they any good? Or are the RW captions not that bad? I mean, honestly I just want an excuse to be with him, and a movie is a good excuse to be right beside him for an hour or 2. Otherwise, does anyone have any other good date ideas for a chilly winter day?

Mmm I don't know maybe its just me but a movie may not be the best idea for a first date. You are just sitting beside him and not really communicating. Maybe you guys could go to a museum that way you will have something to talk about if either of you are to nervous to come up with something to talk about.
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Unread 01-09-2011, 08:24 PM   #3
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Mmm I don't know maybe its just me but a movie may not be the best idea for a first date. You are just sitting beside him and not really communicating. Maybe you guys could go to a museum that way you will have something to talk about if either of you are to nervous to come up with something to talk about.
x2 Movies are not a good first date.

On a side note though, it really doesn't matter what movie you go see on a date. It's the experience of being there with someone that is important. Even if the movie is terrible, corny, childish, etc, you can always talk about it and laugh together afterward. Something light and silly like Yogi Bear or Little Fockers would be just fine.

edit: sorry, let me offer you a good date idea: Go get coffee or tea together. Don't go to a place like Starbuck's or Peet's. Find a small, local, cozy place. You know; the kind that has plush couches and pillows--a place that is just inviting it's customers to sit and relax for hours on end.

Have yourself a nice little cup of something warm. Go during the day. Very low pressure. Great for conversing. Have fun!
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Unread 01-09-2011, 09:52 PM   #4
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x2 Movies are not a good first date.

On a side note though, it really doesn't matter what movie you go see on a date. It's the experience of being there with someone that is important. Even if the movie is terrible, corny, childish, etc, you can always talk about it and laugh together afterward. Something light and silly like Yogi Bear or Little Fockers would be just fine.

edit: sorry, let me offer you a good date idea: Go get coffee or tea together. Don't go to a place like Starbuck's or Peet's. Find a small, local, cozy place. You know; the kind that has plush couches and pillows--a place that is just inviting it's customers to sit and relax for hours on end.

Have yourself a nice little cup of something warm. Go during the day. Very low pressure. Great for conversing. Have fun!
Now that sounds like an amazing first date
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Unread 01-09-2011, 09:57 PM   #5
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I like movies for 1st dates, you don't feel the need to always be saying something.
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Unread 01-09-2011, 10:02 PM   #6
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I like movies for 1st dates, you don't feel the need to always be saying something.
I am all for comfortable silence, but not on a first date thats the time when you are suppose to be getting to know each other and finding out if you even want to see that person again, you can't do that in a movie
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Unread 01-10-2011, 07:24 PM   #7
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I agree with going to the movies. Heck if a hearing girl liked me and wanted to go out and invited me to the movies, I'd go!!!! I think it's perfectly fine as first date. If the movie end is not too late, going for coffee is a good idea like write Alex said. He does bring up a good point- a better place like panera bread or similar is good. Food after a movie is always good- well at least in my book it is. It a way of getting to know you.
One thing to say tho, when you asked us if we seen the movies or not, hearing people is a place to ask too. It just happened to be captioned that week. If you don't like the movie choices, wait another week
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Unread 01-10-2011, 07:47 PM   #8
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Go out where you guys can get to know each other better. Like Alex said, a small cozy coffee shop will do. Movies can come later. Or find something else to do. You can do mini golf or go kart.
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Unread 01-10-2011, 08:16 PM   #9
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Take him to indoor rock climbing
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Unread 01-10-2011, 08:17 PM   #10
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Take him to indoor rock climbing
What if he isn't athletic?
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Unread 01-10-2011, 08:21 PM   #11
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What if he isn't athletic?
A big turn off.

He can still participate such as holding the rope while she climb up, and nice check for him.
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Unread 01-10-2011, 08:36 PM   #12
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A big turn off.

He can still participate such as holding the rope while she climb up, and nice check for him.
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Unread 01-10-2011, 08:44 PM   #13
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how about shopping, then you can use what he looks at to know what he likes
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Unread 01-10-2011, 11:11 PM   #14
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i think going to a buffet type lunch is nice..u can strike up convo on what food choices each other makes just in case u get stuck on what to say or coffee is good too..mini golf is fun but if you do that make sure the lighting is ok so he can read your lips ..i hate glow in the dark mini golf for this reason.
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Unread 01-10-2011, 11:24 PM   #15
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Make-your-own-pottery date was one of my coolest ever...I never dreamed it would be, but it was fun. And sensual.

If you're both signing, make sure the wet clay doesn't splatter lol...
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Unread 01-10-2011, 11:27 PM   #16
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wow bajagal what a great idea! never thought of that
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Unread 01-11-2011, 12:56 AM   #17
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What makes a good first date depends on a few things - espeically for us Hoh/Deaf !

If someone is Hoh/Deaf and uses a HA or CI, then background noise is something that needs to be taken into account - as does lighting.




Honestly GOOD first dates for Hoh/Deaf are things like:

-A nice quiet restaurant that isn't too expensive.

-A museum/Art showing/etc or a Dance performance (with no dialogue) followed by coffee.

-Bowling (not "glow bowling" or night bowling - bowling with regular good lighting... it's fun, low key and a chance to communicate

-mini-golf (regular lighting, not "glow" type)

-Meeting at a nice cafe/coffee house with comfy seating.




Basically things that allow you to COMMUNICATE with each other and get to know each other at bit.




Examples of a bad first date for someone who's Hoh/Deaf

-The movies
(even with RWC ... you can't communicate at ALL in a dark theatre... so you walk into the movie as "strangers" and you walk out of the theatre 3hours later as strangers too.... movies are good HEARING first dates - but they're lousy for Hoh/Deaf)

-Restaurants that are dimly lit (makes speechreading &/or signing difficult and strains the eyes

-Loud places ( if they use HA or CI)... it makes communication very difficult, unless you are both going to sign or write back and forth the entire time.

-Glow bowling, glow min-golf, dark anything ... if it's not well lit, it's going to be very frustrating to communicate


Honestly - I'd recommend asking THEM (the Hoh/Deaf person where they would like to go for a first date) this allows them to chose a place that will meet their communication needs etc. Just make sure that it's a public location (not at their/your house for example).
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Unread 01-11-2011, 01:32 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by horsegal View Post
I may have fallen head over heels for a fantastic man, who happens to be Deaf. He went out once with me, along with a group of friends who all sign, it was his first time being out with hearing folks. I don't know if he'd even be INTERESTED in me.. I don't sign fluently but I am practicing every day to become better. Anyway.
I want to ask him to go to a movie with me -- I've heard the RW captions can be a pain, and the only two movies I've found with open captions are Yogi Bear and Little Fockers. Has anyone seen either of these? Are they any good? Or are the RW captions not that bad? I mean, honestly I just want an excuse to be with him, and a movie is a good excuse to be right beside him for an hour or 2. Otherwise, does anyone have any other good date ideas for a chilly winter day?
I don't know where you live but movies, uh, no. Not for a first date with a deafie. Also the rock climbing is a good idea but hard to sign while hanging on for your life.

For me? I would love nothing more than grabbing a nice warm blanket, a couple of beers and driving up to a mountain lookout to watch the sunset. It's quiet. The scenery invokes, how do you say, arousing feelings, sensual feelings. It allows you privacy to get to know each other. Plus it's casual, not expensive and a little more intimate.

PS: Be sure to pack and pen and paper if you decide to do this so that you can write if the sign isn't working for the two of you. He'll be impressed that *you* came prepared.
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Unread 01-11-2011, 01:55 AM   #19
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I don't know where you live but movies, uh, no. Not for a first date with a deafie. Also the rock climbing is a good idea but hard to sign while hanging on for your life.

For me? I would love nothing more than grabbing a nice warm blanket, a couple of beers and driving up to a mountain lookout to watch the sunset. It's quiet. The scenery invokes, how do you say, arousing feelings, sensual feelings. It allows you privacy to get to know each other. Plus it's casual, not expensive and a little more intimate.

PS: Be sure to pack and pen and paper if you decide to do this so that you can write if the sign isn't working for the two of you. He'll be impressed that *you* came prepared.
ummm - except if the guy turns out to be "cute, but dangerous" ... then you're alone with him without any public/witnesses etc.

I think it would be a great date - just once you know for sure he's "safe" etc ... like after a few months of really getting to know him.

I also wouldn't want either person to feel like their were being pressured into an overly intimate situation -especially if communication isn't clear ... that's where "non-consensual" intimate activities etc.


Great idea though - once you really really know and trust the person though!





Safe dating 101 - always make a first (and second) date in a public location - in case the
"guy of your dreams" turns into the "guy of your nightmares" and you need to get away, fast.
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Unread 01-11-2011, 02:05 AM   #20
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I get impression for our horesgal that she'd like to be *really* alone with him.

But, you are right. If you do not know well enough best not to be too remote.
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Unread 01-11-2011, 02:23 AM   #21
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wow bajagal what a great idea! never thought of that
Does this mean I have to take you out to the pottery place?
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Unread 01-11-2011, 06:57 AM   #22
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It's obvious that everyone have thier own tastes and styles for the first date. Its up to horsegal to figure it out what might work for her and have plan a,b,c ready in mind and play it by the ear. hopefully she will let us know how it went.
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Unread 01-11-2011, 12:49 PM   #23
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Does this mean I have to take you out to the pottery place?
maybeeee
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Unread 01-11-2011, 12:53 PM   #24
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take him out for a tandem skydive (ask deafbaja girl about that) or go to local airport rent a cessna & flight instr. give him flight lesson...you can sit in back. Dates he'll never forget.

Flight Schools

Skydiving Locations - Drop Zone Database tandem skydives

yes deaf can fly airplanes see deafpilot.com and deafskydivers.org
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Unread 01-11-2011, 12:54 PM   #25
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how about shopping, then you can use what he looks at to know what he likes
NO! Don't torture the guy tis not nice
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Unread 01-11-2011, 01:31 PM   #26
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ummm - except if the guy turns out to be "cute, but dangerous" ... then you're alone with him without any public/witnesses etc.

I think it would be a great date - just once you know for sure he's "safe" etc ... like after a few months of really getting to know him.

Safe dating 101 - always make a first (and second) date in a public location - in case
This is true, a few months my be a bit long. but at lest a few weeks.( 4 or 5 min)
One thing I've learned the hard way is not to go out of town on the 1st date. other than the safety issue , there's the fact that you may be stuck with someone you don't get along with for 2 or 3 days.
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Unread 01-11-2011, 02:17 PM   #27
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This is true, a few months my be a bit long. but at lest a few weeks.( 4 or 5 min)
One thing I've learned the hard way is not to go out of town on the 1st date. other than the safety issue , there's the fact that you may be stuck with someone you don't get along with for 2 or 3 days.
Wow you went out on a first date out of town, she must have been a really good looking girl for you to take her out of town
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Unread 01-11-2011, 02:22 PM   #28
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Wow you went out on a first date out of town, she must have been a really good looking girl for you to take her out of town
witch time?
I go to a lot of cons.
I make really nice dresses, but I'm a guy so I take girls with me so that they can show off my dresses for me. Normaly I take a girl that I already know but some times I find one last minuet.

oddly the worst one was a girl that I already knew, but had never been out with for more than 3 or 4 hours at a time.
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Unread 01-11-2011, 02:55 PM   #29
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Thank you all so much for the responses!! I had definitely thought about rock climbing, but since I was already nervous about signing, I wanted to do something where communication would be less strained.. we just ended up going out for supper last night. Turns out that we actually have a lot in common, and chatted for a good 4 hours! He was a perfect gentleman and very patient and made sure I understood everything, and only code switched for me when I REALLY wasn't getting it. Our waitress was really intimidated by us though, I wonder why people are so scared by other people who are signing... very interesting experience for me. He is a fantastic man and promised to take me ice skating. So I guess I can say it was a success! Hooray!
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Unread 01-11-2011, 03:08 PM   #30
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Thank you all so much for the responses!! I had definitely thought about rock climbing, but since I was already nervous about signing, I wanted to do something where communication would be less strained.. we just ended up going out for supper last night. Turns out that we actually have a lot in common, and chatted for a good 4 hours! He was a perfect gentleman and very patient and made sure I understood everything, and only code switched for me when I REALLY wasn't getting it. Our waitress was really intimidated by us though, I wonder why people are so scared by other people who are signing... very interesting experience for me. He is a fantastic man and promised to take me ice skating. So I guess I can say it was a success! Hooray!
Glad that worked out.
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