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Unread 04-05-2004, 09:20 AM   #1
Liebling:-)))
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Question Are the Disables parents allow to adopt or foster the babies/children?

Iím interesting to collect any experience from you all in the different countries.

Here in Germany No!
The disables are not able to adopt or foster the babies or children accord the German law. Nobody knows why.
We would like very much to ask the law why we (disables parents) are not allow adopting any babies/children.

1. One childless married couple, I know well re-applied for the adoption & foster for years but they were rejected again due their deafness because of accord to law that the healthy parents are only one who are able to adopt or foster the babies to children.
The lawyers canít do anything to help them accord the law that itís sad. They have a beautiful house etc. They achieve their beautiful life & are able to give the children everything what they dream but the law interesting is only healthy parentsÖ.

2. One deaf lady Regina were put in jail & trust her married best friend Pat to foster Reginaís 2 children for her but Social Workers ignored her wish & put her children in care home. The lawyers canít do anything to against the law. Pat & Ralf are happily married & have 2 children. They have house & gardenÖ.. They love very much to foster Reginaís children because the children know Pat very well as AuntieÖ What a sad.

All what they told me that Social Workers doesnít bother to check their incomes, look around their house, etc etc etc because they want only healthy parents.

I find itís unfair because a lot of deaf parents are good parents & know how to bring their children like hearing parents.

Can you please share your experience with us what you have been through or what you know...
I'm interesting to collect your share...
Thank you
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Unread 04-05-2004, 09:41 AM   #2
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That's so unreal and sad, indeed! Us deafies are just as healthy as hearing people! I just know that it differs in each country on adopting or fostering a child...but denying deaf people the opportunity to adopt and foster is too extreme and ridiculious.

I just hope that one day SOON, that'll change and those who were denied the opportunity, will be compensated for the pain they went through by being rejected and considered 'unhealthy' in German's government's eyes.
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Unread 04-06-2004, 04:04 PM   #3
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There was a case back in the '60's(in US) that said that deaf people couldn't be good parents. Personally, I think that deciding if someone's a good parent or not based on physical disabilty is rediclous!!!!! I can't hear....so why doesn't that not make me a good parent? There are great parents on this board...and many of us are deaf/hoh! That's like saying that black people or GLB people can't be good parents!
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Unread 04-06-2004, 05:39 PM   #4
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Yep deafdyke You are Correct....

I don't see why they have to use us as a bad parent because we just cannot hear....I mean what is so bad about that?

If you Notice that there are some Hearing Parent Murdered their children or someone else Children and they get to adopt or foster the babies or children.

I wish People would stop using this cannot hear phrase to stop us from adopting or Fostering Children cuz I am sure each and Everyone of us are Different in a way of Raising our Children some use ASL All the way some Use both or just their voices that shouldn't harm anybody.
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Unread 04-30-2004, 10:16 AM   #5
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I find this ridiculous!!!....

If the goverment thinks they know who is ' best ' to become an adopt or foster parents then tell me why some children being stuck into an abusive home or even killed for some reason ?....

I thought we are suppose to be treat equally....if they think ' deaf parents' are unfit to become a foster parent or adopting a child/baby then I would say they are out of their mind!..Take a look around us....What proof do they have that say we are unfit to become one?...
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Unread 04-30-2004, 11:18 AM   #6
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god bless america. Thank you, Bush.
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Unread 04-30-2004, 01:57 PM   #7
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In Ontario,Canada...

Do Allow you adopt child or foster parent.. R u Deaf parent who have good income and healthier enviroment as CAS Agency preferable choice.. There have no such thing againist the law.. unless CAS prefer checking your record of criminal and to make sure if r u clean as 100% no record.. accept allowed to have adopt child or become foster parent whatever.. I have no idea rest of other provinces in Canada within further..

Unbelivable hearing about Germany's law.. I find this really totaly CRUELTY! Where respect all human being as equal.. Hopefully one day whoever willing fight the change Germany's law nearest the future and to obitiain become adopt child or foster parent.
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Unread 04-30-2004, 02:21 PM   #8
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what about deaf kids that need adoption or foster parents do they allow that in germany?
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Unread 04-30-2004, 03:38 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeafSCUBA98
what about deaf kids that need adoption or foster parents do they allow that in germany?
Good Question DeafSCUBA98....Maybe the goverment of Germany may think deaf children are better off with hearing parents!...
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Unread 04-30-2004, 09:05 PM   #10
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In Australia, they rather to put deaf kids to be foster by deaf Adults as first choice rather than hearing adults.

For adopted, I am not sure, will find out more!

If anyone who are over 30, they cannot adopt kids, because they are TOO OLD for that eek!!! (I think 30 more or less I cannot remember to be exact)

My deaf friend's second husband adopted her child from her previous relationship.
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Unread 05-11-2004, 09:34 AM   #11
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Angry

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeafSCUBA98
what about deaf kids that need adoption or foster parents do they allow that in germany?
Well, some of Deafie who went the school with my hubby & of course other more deafies were grown up at care home because nobody wants to adopt them...

Yes, I'm agree that deaf children is better off with deaf parents... I'll give you more information when I get the news from German forum. I'm disagree with German's law

It's sad that hearing parents want to adopt healthy babies... It's sad that they didn't know what deaf is...
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Unread 05-11-2004, 09:42 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Red~Rum
If anyone who are over 30, they cannot adopt kids, because they are TOO OLD for that eek!!! (I think 30 more or less I cannot remember to be exact)
Yes, it's the same with German law but from 35 years old.

Quote:
My deaf friend's second husband adopted her child from her previous relationship.
Yes, it's same with here, too. The law can't do anything to stop him or her to adopt his/her step-children because he/she MARRIED partners with her/his own children.

It's sad that deaf childless deaf parents are not able to adopt or foster the children accord German law... Nobody knows why. Stupid, but one member from other forum thinks that German law is too old during nazi's time? I dunno, I will find out more...
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Unread 05-11-2004, 09:42 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ^Angel^
Good Question DeafSCUBA98....Maybe the goverment of Germany may think deaf children are better off with hearing parents!...
I second that... but that's stupid law...
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Unread 05-11-2004, 09:50 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liebling:-)))
Well, some of Deafie who went the school with my hubby & of course other more deafies were grown up at care home because nobody wants to adopt them...

Yes, I'm agree that deaf children is better off with deaf parents... I'll give you more information when I get the news from German forum. I'm disagree with German's law

It's sad that hearing parents want to adopt healthy babies... It's sad that they didn't know what deaf is...
Liebling

You disagree with Germany law. Then move to Unites States of American.





If you move to America. I will give you a big surprise !! Liebling....




You will love this.
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Unread 05-11-2004, 09:54 AM   #15
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Unread 05-11-2004, 10:29 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabrina



If you move to America. I will give you a big surprise !! Liebling....




You will love this.
http://www.millan.net/anims/giffar/g...usfirewrks.gif
That's American circumcision!
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Unread 05-11-2004, 10:59 AM   #17
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i am lesbo, what if i wanna foster a baby for me??? can i?? *wonder*
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Unread 05-11-2004, 11:35 AM   #18
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Liebling...

I don't like the idea of them putting child/children in their "specific" rules.. I believe everyone has a rights to have child/children to be adopted If they can afford, and can provide lots of loves, attentions then they are qualifed for it. Some laws are stupid! but I would fight for my right if that ever happen to me!


Tweety, you are always welcome to adopt one I think there was nothing wrong to have baby in your life too


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Unread 07-20-2004, 04:20 AM   #19
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I disagree with the German law, but I can understand their ignorancy. Somehow they just think that because you don't hear you don't have a brain to know how to manage children. They just don't know how we think in our little head that it's just like everyone else.

The only way to change this is to fight for it. That's the only way to open up their eyes.

I also wonder...can the deaf parents bring home American children to take care of? Deaf or hearing? Do they have a right to tell you no to that? Some americans bring children from other contries!
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Unread 07-20-2004, 09:20 AM   #20
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I agree with Wendy. If someone is able to provide for the baby financially, emotionally and physically, then there should be no reason at all why they cannot adopt.

After all, there are babies out there with biological parents who are complete assholes...drug addicts, alcoholics, abusers - and they'd be better off with someone else. Yet people make up "rules" about who can adopt and who cannot. That's what pisses me off.
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Unread 07-20-2004, 11:51 AM   #21
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Hmmmmmmmmph! To the unfair German law!

Still did you know that just a short time ago that if you were deaf or deaf-blind in the United States that you could be put in a "mental insitution"..just because you were deaf or deaf blind? There is a book,..Walking Free: The Nellie Zimmerman Story by Rosezelle Boggs Qualls,..which tells what happened to a deaf blind lady, who was insititutionalized in such a house of horror for nineteen years and came out of that experience and was able to go to college, get a job,..and find love successfully. She was a "HELL" of a woman...according to the book!!
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Unread 07-20-2004, 01:05 PM   #22
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Exclamation

Quote:
Originally Posted by mysteriesofthes
Still did you know that just a short time ago that if you were deaf or deaf-blind in the United States that you could be put in a "mental insitution"..just because you were deaf or deaf blind? There is a book,..Walking Free: The Nellie Zimmerman Story by Rosezelle Boggs Qualls,..which tells what happened to a deaf blind lady, who was insititutionalized in such a house of horror for nineteen years and came out of that experience and was able to go to college, get a job,..and find love successfully. She was a "HELL" of a woman...according to the book!!
Oh wow, that is exactly occurred at the Mental Health Group for the Deaf. I resigned that group home due to not hiring staffs who can sign language to access communication with the clients.

I am filing a complaint with Disability Law Center for a better system with DMR for the clients's sake. Now, there is under investigated to see if there are any negelect and abuse communication block.
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Unread 07-21-2004, 07:05 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mysteriesofthes
Still did you know that just a short time ago that if you were deaf or deaf-blind in the United States that you could be put in a "mental insitution"..just because you were deaf or deaf blind? There is a book,..Walking Free: The Nellie Zimmerman Story by Rosezelle Boggs Qualls,..which tells what happened to a deaf blind lady, who was insititutionalized in such a house of horror for nineteen years and came out of that experience and was able to go to college, get a job,..and find love successfully. She was a "HELL" of a woman...according to the book!!
Thats interesting!! did you know that back in olden days, deaf or deaf-blind people were not allowed to buy a house and/or a block of land. If they were born to a wealthy family, or if they were born to noble family, they cannot claim dukedom or earl, and they cannot claim their share in the will.

My British deaf friend told me he was adopted by a deaf couple in 1965. Deaf people can foster a baby if they want to.
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Unread 08-09-2004, 09:05 AM   #24
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Thumbs up If you want to apdot a baby Go for it!

It dosen't manner handicapped or not, you have the right to adpot a baby.
Give it lots of love!!
No one can stop you!!
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Unread 12-30-2004, 10:30 AM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Margie
It dosen't manner handicapped or not, you have the right to adpot a baby.
Give it lots of love!!
No one can stop you!!
Margie Garetz
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I totally agree. i just wish Germany would change it's laws. That's stupid. But Margie, please do NOT call us handicapped.
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Unread 12-30-2004, 04:03 PM   #26
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Deaf,..Margie,..or...

dis-ABLED. However,.I don't believe that the Deaf are REALLY to be counted among the dis-ABLED. A DEAF PERSON,..WITH THE PROPER EDUCATION,..CAN WALK, TALK,..THINK,..SOLVE PROBLEMS AND DO EVERYTHING THAT ANY HEARING PERSON CAN DO.

I would elaborate more on this,..but I am writing a book about my experiences. Heh! I DON'T know if said book will ever be published,..but I am writing down the story anyway!!
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Unread 05-03-2006, 08:19 AM   #27
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Ahh I figured out cuz u know my adopt son was born in Germany and his mother had to stay longer because I noticed on his real birth certificate. I simple asked the offical signature whom signed on it and she explained to me. I was bit confuse. Thats what I thought. I was also bit kinda of afraid to ask you about it. Also I have few questions about few things that I am bit confuse cuz u know my adopt son born in Germany and you were having kids out of USA. Kinda of really interest me about it. If you dont mind me asking.

Also for Galaxy and few others whom are adopted. I gotta to ask question cuz u know my son is adopted. If something happened to either of me or my bf, if my son really wants to find his real relatives, would they allow him to look for his real relatives. I noticed mostly of the adoption children that tried to look for their real parents but their informations are sealed on and will not allow them to get info until the reach to be older enough, is that true?
Liebling what about in Germany?
http://www.alldeaf.com/showpost.php?...7&postcount=33

Here is answer on your question.

Depend on difference between adoptive parents and biological parents. Accord German law, they (Youth Social Officer) are obligatie to protect adoptive parents and biological parents. Youth Social Officer are not allow to give adoptive and biological parents addresses. It's adoptive parent's decision if they allow to let their adoptive children to see biological parents or not. If adoptive parents reject, then biological parent have to wait until children are 18 years old and have his/her decision either they want to see their biological parent or not.

Youth Social Welfare takes care everything if adoptive parents of underage adoptive children agrees to let biological parent come to see them. Some parents support their underage childís decision to find their biological parents.

I hope this link help to learn about German adoption law.

http://travel.state.gov/family/adopt...untry_386.html


I want to ask you but I keep on forget... Now I ask you question...

I was puzzled that German law allow you to adopt a German child because you are deaf and unmarried... I know accord German law: Who want to adopt the children then it could be married and "healthy" couple with good incomes.

German law do not accept deafies married couple to adopt babies no matter either they have good income or not but DEAF... A lot of deafies are furious and feel being discriminated accord German law over Adoption..

I know Germans would be real furious if they heard that German authorities allow to offer you to adopt a child because you are deaf.
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Unread 05-03-2006, 09:22 AM   #28
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Ouchie, Galaxy. Yeah thats why I wanna to be open to my adopt son about real relatives. Since his real parents got killed. I still have pix of his real parents. But big problems is that his real two uncles that got on my nerves that they dont want to do anything to do my adopt son. What am I suppose to do? Do I have to keep telling my son while he grows up about his uncles or what? But two things are that his real grandparents that knew about it. and they both still contact with me on update with my adopt son since they want my son to know who they are. The big problems are with my adopt son's real uncles that I am having difficult times with which we have battle wars over with my adopt son cuz his real uncles kept telling that they are not accept him due to his disablitiy. So, I had to fight with his real uncles over his real relatives. I told lawyer that I wouldn't accept to hide his real relatives. Since I am more honest. But I am more happier to see that my son is very happy right now. Since he has perm. with mom that he can live longer than being in foster parents many times. You know..
No problem when you let your adopt son know that he is an adoptive child and where he come from... Best let him know he is an adoptive an earlier.

Do you mean your adopt son is a disablity? Is it reason because Uncles don't want to do anything with him... If yes, then is their loss... Why Uncles make you anger when they don't want to do anything with your adopt son? I am wondering why can't Grandparents take him over after his parents killed but let you to adopt him and take him to live in America? It's good that you accept your adopt son's relatives to know update about him... Some of adoptive parents don't do that.
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Unread 05-03-2006, 09:26 AM   #29
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Liebling, you can fight for Germany LAW... for Disibities RIGHTS.
Accord Germany law is SICK.. need bend the law a bit change let Deaf Parent can have adopt child for need a home happy loving care...

I suggest you can show them Germany law lesgetation(sp) people who work for gov't.. shown them, you have wonderful family and beautiful home... have wonderful two boys..
PROOF THEM.. SHOW THEM.. They will gluped...

They are frigg'n BLIND, why can't see Deaf parents are raise their children WONDERFUL life... ??
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Unread 05-03-2006, 09:29 AM   #30
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Quote:
SherryCherish's post
wow, GA, oh boy you have a tough lifestyle, but glad you found ur birth parents, I betcha its hardest part to meet ur real folks, and wonder why they let u go etc. But, adoptives parents got you to raised. Better than being at foster parents (many differents parents) and raise in orphanerans. I'm so sorry that you raised a such hard life, glad your not need to bear up with it anymore.

Purr, i understand. You re very big heart and u got ur son to live through this life and ur supportive. Uncle seeking that himself that u really do cares and wants to provide a love to that boy. I'm so glad things work out.

My bf just adopted my son last friday, since his father not even come see him or give him something. Not even child supports. My son really is happy to have a new father, even. He don't know who a real father. Beside he is only 3 yrs old. Been that happened 2 years and half ago. Its hard on him. Hes very happy boy. We re leading our loves one into a good life and happiness that which biggest counts on.
Can I ask you curious question?

You said that your boyfriend adopted your son last Friday because his father doesn't bother to see or give him something.

Did his father agree to give his responsible as father up to your boyfriend? Do he sign adoption agreement to give up his son for your boyfriend to adopt?

As I know about German law: No, unless they are legal married... Only if father agree to give up as father to step-dad for adoption... All what he do is sign adoption agreement contract.
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