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Unread 03-06-2009, 05:27 PM   #1
jillio
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Adjustment to late onset deafness

It seems that we have several members that are currently going through adjustments to late onset deafness. I suggested a support type group through AD, and offered to facillitate. I received word from a mod that we could go ahead and start a thread on this topic. So...here it is.

How about if we start off by having participants offer a brief introduction of themselves, and the issue they are currently struggling with?

Oh, and mods...could you sticky this please?
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Unread 03-06-2009, 05:29 PM   #2
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Mod note:

Threads sticky for the time being per requested.
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Unread 03-06-2009, 05:30 PM   #3
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Mod note:

Threads sticky for the time being per requested.
Thank you, Calvin!
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Unread 03-06-2009, 05:31 PM   #4
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Thank you, Calvin!
You're welcome
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Unread 03-06-2009, 05:36 PM   #5
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I have noticed a lot of latent deaf or people with sudden deafness on this site as well. I think this is a great idea!!
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Unread 03-06-2009, 05:39 PM   #6
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I have noticed a lot of latent deaf or people with sudden deafness on this site as well. I think this is a great idea!!
Thanks for your support in the effort, BB. Please do drop in once we get going. Although you are not late deafened, you most certainly will have sage advise on coping mechanisms. I'm going to try to gear this as much toward the emotional and psychological adjustment as the adjustment to using acccommodations.
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Unread 03-06-2009, 05:47 PM   #7
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Thanks for your support in the effort, BB. Please do drop in once we get going. Although you are not late deafened, you most certainly will have sage advise on coping mechanisms. I'm going to try to gear this as much toward the emotional and psychological adjustment as the adjustment to using acccommodations.

I agree..

Jillio...

If you do not mind,

I would like to add that this thread is specifically to help people with latent deafness or sudden deafness.

This thread is to help the ones in need.
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Unread 03-06-2009, 05:49 PM   #8
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I agree..

Jillio...

If you do not mind,

I would like to add that this thread is specifically to help people with latent deafness or sudden deafness.

This thread is to help the ones in need.
Yes. Thank you for that clarification.
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Unread 03-07-2009, 01:12 PM   #9
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Need help to join this forum

Hi there...I'm a new "3 years" suddenly deafness, and want to join this forum to share. But i don't want2 make people angry or hurt feelings. Which way should i start 1st ? Anyone could help me plz........?
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Unread 03-07-2009, 01:20 PM   #10
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Hi there...I'm a new "3 years" suddenly deafness, and want to join this forum to share. But i don't want2 make people angry or hurt feelings. Which way should i start 1st ? Anyone could help me plz........?
Hello, tommys. Welcome to AD.

Please just share your story. This thread was created for people just like you to be able to share their feelings about their deafness without being concerned about hurting anyone's feelings or making anyone angry. Your feelings are your feelings, and they are neither right nor wrong. They just are.
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Unread 03-07-2009, 01:35 PM   #11
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Since new moderators strongly request me work on my social skills, but Tommy requested my friendship, can I say in here "Please don't misspell words in slang manner or use one letter to mean a word.?"

Matilda used to tell people that but she is gone. I think other people may be more tactful than me.
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Unread 03-07-2009, 01:51 PM   #12
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I still get some anxieties when new physicians or nurses begin to work in my unit. I think it is a little bit of ego though. I feel I have to prove my skills and professional capabilities to anyone new. That can make me feel cold and insensitive.

For new AD'ers; I lost my hearing with one semester left in nursing school. I felt devestated. I went from being near 'overconfident' to completely insecure. After a couple years, I finally got HA's and it made a good difference with my private and professional life. My insecurities with some people remain. I still get angry and spitefull when it comes to music and singing. I loved to sing, but now I will NOT do it around anybody. Also, I think I have extreme insecurities with starting a relationship with anybody. I want to go to grad school SO bad to be doctor in genetics. I make excuses every year for not applying, but I really know inside my reason.
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Unread 03-07-2009, 01:56 PM   #13
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Since new moderators strongly request me work on my social skills, but Tommy requested my friendship, can I say in here "Please don't misspell words in slang manner or use one letter to mean a word.?"

Matilda used to tell people that but she is gone. I think other people may be more tactful than me.
Absolutely, you may stay, Bott! I look forward to your contributions to the group.
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Unread 03-07-2009, 01:58 PM   #14
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I still get some anxieties when new physicians or nurses begin to work in my unit. I think it is a little bit of ego though. I feel I have to prove my skills and professional capabilities to anyone new. That can make me feel cold and insensitive.

For new AD'ers; I lost my hearing with one semester left in nursing school. I felt devestated. I went from being near 'overconfident' to completely insecure. After a couple years, I finally got HA's and it made a good difference with my private and professional life. My insecurities with some people remain. I still get angry and spitefull when it comes to music and singing. I loved to sing, but now I will NOT do it around anybody. Also, I think I have extreme insecurities with starting a relationship with anybody. I want to go to grad school SO bad to be doctor in genetics. I make excuses every year for not applying, but I really know inside my reason.

I sincerely hope u apply soon ...we need more deaf/hoh doctors!
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Unread 03-07-2009, 02:02 PM   #15
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I still get some anxieties when new physicians or nurses begin to work in my unit. I think it is a little bit of ego though. I feel I have to prove my skills and professional capabilities to anyone new. That can make me feel cold and insensitive.

For new AD'ers; I lost my hearing with one semester left in nursing school. I felt devestated. I went from being near 'overconfident' to completely insecure. After a couple years, I finally got HA's and it made a good difference with my private and professional life. My insecurities with some people remain. I still get angry and spitefull when it comes to music and singing. I loved to sing, but now I will NOT do it around anybody. Also, I think I have extreme insecurities with starting a relationship with anybody. I want to go to grad school SO bad to be doctor in genetics. I make excuses every year for not applying, but I really know inside my reason.
Thank you, hohDougRN. I appreciate your honesty about your insecurities. You know, I find it interesting that your screen name places hoh before RN. I know, from other conversations, how dedicted you are to providing health care services, and I suspect that you are a very compassionate and capable nurse. Perhaps, as a starter to confidence building, we could make RN the first part of your identity, rather than hoh. After all, your nursing skills and knowledge is primary. You are a NURSE, who just happens to be hoh. And perhaps one day soon, a physician who just happens to be hoh.
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Unread 03-07-2009, 02:03 PM   #16
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I sincerely hope u apply soon ...we need more deaf/hoh doctors!
Absolutely.
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Unread 03-08-2009, 12:12 PM   #17
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Hey there! I'm pretty new. I started realizing I wasn't hearing so well when I was almost 20, now, at 23, I am severely hoh. I have good and bad days. Some days I remember that there are so many others going through similar and worse things that there is no sense in wallowing in self-pity. Other days, things tigger me, like when I can't hear my baby cooing or when I see my husband mouthing 'I love you', and I then I get pretty upset and depressed. There is sooooo much I don't understand about losing hearing. I don't understand all the technology and I, while I practise the little ASL I know frequently, I don't have anyone to practise with. I get pretty lonely. I feel very isolated. But, you know, this is a great idea for a thread...and I hope lots of late deafened people respond to it. I'd really like to hear other stories. I'll be checking in often...like I said, I can be a little moody...sometimes I'll be cheerful and sometimes ready to cry...but I guess others go through that too. I have another ENT appointment tommorrow. Yikes. Maybe they'll be able to tell me what is wrong though! Thanks for starting this Jillio!
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Unread 03-08-2009, 12:14 PM   #18
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Thank you, hohDougRN. I appreciate your honesty about your insecurities. You know, I find it interesting that your screen name places hoh before RN. I know, from other conversations, how dedicted you are to providing health care services, and I suspect that you are a very compassionate and capable nurse. Perhaps, as a starter to confidence building, we could make RN the first part of your identity, rather than hoh. After all, your nursing skills and knowledge is primary. You are a NURSE, who just happens to be hoh. And perhaps one day soon, a physician who just happens to be hoh.
Wow Jillio. Have you ever thought about being a counsellor?
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Unread 03-08-2009, 12:16 PM   #19
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Wow Jillio. Have you ever thought about being a counsellor?
I believe Jillio has a PhD in Psychology.
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Unread 03-08-2009, 12:25 PM   #20
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I believe Jillio has a PhD in Psychology.
That would make sense, wouldn't it.
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Unread 03-08-2009, 12:26 PM   #21
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That would make sense, wouldn't it.
Yep, and I just noticed she is banned again. Hopefully she will be back soon,as she is a great counselor.
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Unread 03-08-2009, 03:12 PM   #22
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I started to notice my tinnitus first, and then I noticed that I was losing my hearing. I was about 16 when that happened. I went to an ent/audi who told me to lay off the caffeine and such for the tinnitus and to deal with the hearing loss. I then went to CHEO and the audi told me as well almost the same thing and told me I didn't need hearing aids even though I was struggling a lot in school. I finally went to a diff place the summer I graduated from high school when I turned 18 and I got my first hearing aid for my right and then I just recently got a new set of hearing aids for both ears since I lost more hearing. My hearing loss is supposedly genetic and progressive and they don't know if it will get worse. I have been interested in ASL for a long time and am taking ASL 1 in the summer
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Unread 03-08-2009, 04:32 PM   #23
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Reading your stories and experiences, it helped me to realized that I was lucky to be born deaf instead of going deaf later on. I cant imagine how frustrated you all must be feeling with this new change in your lives. Hang in there!
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Unread 03-08-2009, 04:51 PM   #24
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Reading your stories and experiences, it helped me to realized that I was lucky to be born deaf instead of going deaf later on. I cant imagine how frustrated you all must be feeling with this new change in your lives. Hang in there!
I never thought about luck that way!

I keep being surprised when they complain. I am working hard to stop my tendency to snap at them, "suck it up, I have done it my whole life and it is easy!"

Apparently it is not.
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Unread 03-08-2009, 04:53 PM   #25
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I never thought about luck that way!

I keep being surprised when they complain. I am working hard to stop my tendency to snap at them, "suck it up, I have done it my whole life and it is easy!"

Apparently it is not.

It would be like u and I going completely blind for life tmw...for me, I would be extremely frightened and depressed.
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Unread 03-08-2009, 04:54 PM   #26
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It would be like u and I going completely blind for life tmw...for me, I would be extremely frightened and depressed.
I guess you are right. I am working on empathy.
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Unread 03-08-2009, 07:31 PM   #27
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I still get some anxieties when new physicians or nurses begin to work in my unit. I think it is a little bit of ego though. I feel I have to prove my skills and professional capabilities to anyone new. That can make me feel cold and insensitive.

For new AD'ers; I lost my hearing with one semester left in nursing school. I felt devestated. I went from being near 'overconfident' to completely insecure. After a couple years, I finally got HA's and it made a good difference with my private and professional life. My insecurities with some people remain. I still get angry and spitefull when it comes to music and singing. I loved to sing, but now I will NOT do it around anybody. Also, I think I have extreme insecurities with starting a relationship with anybody. I want to go to grad school SO bad to be doctor in genetics. I make excuses every year for not applying, but I really know inside my reason.
I'm doing a nursing course and we have to do placements in hospitals etc. as part of the course. So every three months or so I have to start working in a new place with new people. The first thing I tell them is about my deafness. I tend to get different reactions from different people, some are helpful, some not. Anyway, I find it quite stressful having to explain over and over to people about my hearing, and sometimes when I tell them something like 'I can't hear in background noise' they just ignore me and carry on anyway.

I also feel that I have to prove myself more than the other nursing students, if I make a mistake I worry that someone will say it's because of my hearing, and they'll doubt my ability to be a good nurse.
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Unread 03-08-2009, 08:09 PM   #28
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Some of you know my story from previous posts, but for those who don't, here's my tale. I had a mild hearing loss that was diagnosed in college, nearly 30 years ago. Out of curiosity I took a college class in ASL and really enjoyed it. My hearing was stable for decades, until 9 months ago. I awoke one morning with moderately severe hearing loss, which progressed over 4 months to profound deafness. I use hearing aids but only for sound awareness, and have taken crash courses in ASL. I rely on an interpreter to continue working, use CART for lectures, and use a videophone or internet relay for telecommunication. I have very loud and bothersome tinnitus.

Shortly after I became Deaf my audiologist told me about ALDA, the Association of Late Deafened Adults, and I attended my first conference last fall. It was communication heaven, and an incredible opportunity to talk with dozens of people whose story was similar to mine.

I think for me there are several frustrating issues in becoming late-deafened. A big one is safety. I have a service dog (I am also quadriplegic), and while he's not a very good hearing dog, he definitely alerts to environmental sounds. At night as a female living alone, I find that I become easily frightened when he alerts. I have a security system but I fear that if someone breaks in, I have no way of knowing or of defending myself.

Another issue is with interpersonal interactions. I am frustrated that people may think I'm rude, aloof or ignoring them when I don't hear them, or when I can't lipread them well. I am also frustrated by the people who don't take the time or effort to communicate.

I am fortunate in having a wonderful support network at home and at work. Most of my office staff are learning ASL, and my family has quickly mastered texting and VP. I also think I have an advantage, having already experienced the loss of mobility from my spinal cord injury 22 years ago. I know the stages of grief, and recognize that there is life on the other side of "disability". There are still times, though, when I mourn the loss of music and easy communication.

Doug, please don't give up on your dream. Being a Geneticist is a readily achievable goal, with a lot of work and good support from your medical school. There is a need for more Deaf medical professionals, and already being a nurse gives you a tremendous advantage. Go for it!
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Unread 03-08-2009, 08:26 PM   #29
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Some of you know my story from previous posts, but for those who don't, here's my tale. I had a mild hearing loss that was diagnosed in college, nearly 30 years ago. Out of curiosity I took a college class in ASL and really enjoyed it. My hearing was stable for decades, until 9 months ago. I awoke one morning with moderately severe hearing loss, which progressed over 4 months to profound deafness. I use hearing aids but only for sound awareness, and have taken crash courses in ASL. I rely on an interpreter to continue working, use CART for lectures, and use a videophone or internet relay for telecommunication. I have very loud and bothersome tinnitus.

Shortly after I became Deaf my audiologist told me about ALDA, the Association of Late Deafened Adults, and I attended my first conference last fall. It was communication heaven, and an incredible opportunity to talk with dozens of people whose story was similar to mine.


I think for me there are several frustrating issues in becoming late-deafened. A big one is safety. I have a service dog (I am also quadriplegic), and while he's not a very good hearing dog, he definitely alerts to environmental sounds. At night as a female living alone, I find that I become easily frightened when he alerts. I have a security system but I fear that if someone breaks in, I have no way of knowing or of defending myself.

Another issue is with interpersonal interactions. I am frustrated that people may think I'm rude, aloof or ignoring them when I don't hear them, or when I can't lipread them well. I am also frustrated by the people who don't take the time or effort to communicate.

I am fortunate in having a wonderful support network at home and at work. Most of my office staff are learning ASL, and my family has quickly mastered texting and VP. I also think I have an advantage, having already experienced the loss of mobility from my spinal cord injury 22 years ago. I know the stages of grief, and recognize that there is life on the other side of "disability". There are still times, though, when I mourn the loss of music and easy communication.

Doug, please don't give up on your dream. Being a Geneticist is a readily achievable goal, with a lot of work and good support from your medical school. There is a need for more Deaf medical professionals, and already being a nurse gives you a tremendous advantage. Go for it!

Excellent posting!


I just love inspiring post such as yours.

Wow! You have achieved more than one barriers. I am so glad you have a good strong support system. Seems like ALDA did a great deal for you.
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Unread 03-08-2009, 08:29 PM   #30
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Excellent posting!


I just love inspiring post such as yours.

Wow! You have achieved more than one barriers. I am so glad you have a good strong support system. Seems like ALDA did a great deal for you.
Thanks, BabyBlue. Yes, ALDA was a great "find" for me at a crucial time. I highly recommend the organization. They avoid the deaf/Deaf/HOH politics and their motto for communication is "whatever works". All events are captioned, interpreted, and lots of paper and pencils handy.
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