AllDeaf.com
Perks - Advertise - Spy - Who Quoted Me  
Go Back   AllDeaf.com > Deaf Community > General Chat
LIKE AllDeaf on Facebook FOLLOW AllDeaf on Twitter
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 04-16-2006, 05:55 PM   #1
coloravalanche
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Definition of Stalking...

What does "Stalking" means to you?

"Stalking" means to me is when a person threats me by show up at my place, or person who follows me around where I go...threats me by emailing me...or calling me on phone...

I dont believe stalking is when I email someone and try my best to work it out with this person...send a card to say Im sorry...say positive things...that is not stalking at all...

The guy emailed me and thinks that Im his stalker....Ive not bothered him at his home or work...I only emailed him once in awhile to say hello and positive things...I asked him if we could work things out...but I never threat or harm him at all...I dont understand why he thinks that way...

Last night, I received an email from him...this is what he said to me, "**** yourself and die"....Can you believe that? I was hurt to hear that...

He was my former lawyer...we had sex after discharged were over...we were good friends until things got screwed up...

Do you think I need to file report to the BAR Association against him?

I am planning to inform the FBI about what the guy said to me....because the FBI is working on my case and suspect that the guy is involved....

Anyway,,,,tell me what do you think the definition of stalking?
  Reply With Quote
Alt Today
All Deaf

Beitrag Sponsored Links

__________________
This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members.
Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com
   
Unread 04-16-2006, 05:57 PM   #2
Gemtun
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
For me, stalking means excessive and unwanted attention from this person.

I have been stalked a few times. Once I broke up with an ex bf, I moved away to another state. He moved to where I was. I found a job. He found a job a mile away from me. He followed me every morning and night on freeway during commutes to work. He would drive up to my car and wave at me. I would speed up yet he speed up to catch with me. Sometimes I had to go 100 miles per hour. I call that stalking!!!! I was terrified for a year before he finally gave up and moved out of my state.
  Reply With Quote
Unread 04-16-2006, 06:31 PM   #3
CutePommie
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 870
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
[QUOTE=coloravalanche]
He was my former lawyer...we had sex after discharged were over...we were good friends until things got screwed up...[QUOTE]

Why had sex with your former laywer?... maybe he used you to against you .. (i just presume) but never do it ... as i wouldn't do it geesh !!
CutePommie is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-16-2006, 06:49 PM   #4
coloravalanche
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
[QUOTE=CutePommie][QUOTE=coloravalanche]
He was my former lawyer...we had sex after discharged were over...we were good friends until things got screwed up...
Quote:

Why had sex with your former laywer?... maybe he used you to against you .. (i just presume) but never do it ... as i wouldn't do it geesh !!
Ok....On the very first day when I met him at his office...He greeted himself with beautiful smile...I fell in love with him instantly.,...I knew that he was someone special...

About sex issues...he warned me before we had sex was only for string attached...(that means only for pleasure nothing more)...I agreed with him because I wanted him so badly...I was hoping he would change his mind and be my lover but I was wrong...

I dont know if I should report to the BAR against him because we had sex...
  Reply With Quote
Unread 04-16-2006, 07:04 PM   #5
CutePommie
Registered User
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 870
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
[QUOTE=coloravalanche][QUOTE=CutePommie]
Quote:
Originally Posted by coloravalanche
He was my former lawyer...we had sex after discharged were over...we were good friends until things got screwed up...

Ok....On the very first day when I met him at his office...He greeted himself with beautiful smile...I fell in love with him instantly.,...I knew that he was someone special...

About sex issues...he warned me before we had sex was only for string attached...(that means only for pleasure nothing more)...I agreed with him because I wanted him so badly...I was hoping he would change his mind and be my lover but I was wrong...

I dont know if I should report to the BAR against him because we had sex...

Okay I does to understand that you had fallen in love with him instantly when you first met him on this very day.. if I were you I wouldn't do it .
This morning the police officers came my house as because i had want to report on someone ( for difference reason) one of the police officers are really so handsome... I myself could fall for this cute police officer ( I just to know how does you feel this way) As I just ignore it and have to take control don't do it. Okay let me tell you one story .... long time ago when I was the BSL tutor there were one of student who are the firefighter. oh boy !! we fell in love on the first night ofc as i have to control myself to be professional to teach the BSL. and before I realised he was married ... for the 9 months of his one year course. And this student ( firefighter) he been kept to bugged me wanted to having sex with me .. I kept to refused because he is married....... then we talked via online messengers he wont give up to bugged me .... and until one day we did had sex ... and after that .. We just got faded away without agrued or nasties like that ... it was me to made the choose to fade away ... To be honest i does to understand how does you feel when like to be weak to fall in love ...

Well I think you should report but i do not know what BAR mean ... sorry here in UK are different .. maybe you could report to the Police or F.B.I but you must keep the E-maileds that he send you to proof ... okay
CutePommie is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-16-2006, 07:07 PM   #6
Heath
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 8,088
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Well, He agreed to have sex with you and he abused that privelege of having sex with you with no strings attached.

Chances are he is abusing this position of power with another women.

I am sorry to hear that he lost out on a very good woman who obivously loved him and he did not even know it and he took advantage of you when you clearly were not taking advantage of him.

Talk to the FBI and Internal Affairs Bureau ( I.A.B. ) but make clear that you were taken advantage of when that was a private agreement between you and that he abused this position of power. I understand men and women both want sex.

That is a natural desire, It does not matter what job he is employed in or what job you are employed in.

In today's politically correct world. Nobody notices this natural desire and so many people are hit with sexual harrassment that actually are not sexual harrassment and there is alots of sexual blackmailing going on with photos and videos to destroy somebody's reputation etc.

You clearly were not doing any of those things and That was a private agreement between the boss and you and he lost out on that privelege.

Without saying names. I have had women who were my boss and they wanted sex with me and they never abused this position of power and I did enjoy the sex and she enjoyed the sex too with no strings attached. Nothing bad of the sort happened and I worked very hard for her then we parted on good and positive terms.

That is how it should be, but some guys do not understand this at all.
Heath is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-16-2006, 07:12 PM   #7
Cousin Vinny
Registered User
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 726
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
According to ABA Model Rules of Professional Conduct, Rule 1.8(j), it states:
Quote:
A lawyer shall not have sexual relations with a client unless a consensual sexual relationship existed between them when the client-lawyer relationship commenced.
[Rule 1.8]

You may have a claim with your State Bar authorities against this attorney. Keep in mind that this is the 'Model Rules'. Actual state rules governing attorney conflict of interest situations vary.
Cousin Vinny is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-16-2006, 08:41 PM   #8
Angel
♥"Concrete Angel"♥
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 19,089
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
To me, stalking means, following someone around, harassment, becomes obsessed with their target and keep bullying them...


I have problems with someone who been cyberstalking me for years, but now I put this person on block, so hopefully this person will leave me alone for good...


I hope everything works out for you..
__________________
"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller
Angel is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-17-2006, 04:21 PM   #9
Liza
Registered User
 
Liza's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Jacksonville
Posts: 4,367
Blog Entries: 2
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
It appears that he is getting unwanted attention from you, and that can qualify as stalking. Is that his photo and a slideshow of his pix in your signature?? Yikes. Not a good sign, girl.

You agreed to sex with him without strings attached. Both of you were adults. You knew what he wanted.. you only complicated the matter with your desires that are not shared by him, and I imagine it got uncomforable for him. He freaked. I'm sorry. I hope you find a good guy who will return your love and treat you better than he did.. You sound like a good person. Don't waste your life on this suave cockroach. You may want to resolve things with him.. but he doesn't want to resolve things with you. You can't do anything about it. He has to want to resolve it.. but no amount of force will get him to have true feelings for you. That sucks, but from a journey-woman to another.. wake up!

Sex is not a good way to rope in someone if he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you at all. You probably could sic the Bar on him to teach him professional manners in dealing with his clients, but don't do it for revenge. I don't know if he did a good job on your case.. that should be a consideration. Or you can proceed with a good lesson learned in making better choices in future situations like this. Good luck!
Liza is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-17-2006, 04:32 PM   #10
Cheri
Prayers for my dad.
 
Cheri's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 22,817
Likes: 0
Liked 1 Time in 1 Post
Most people defined "Stalker" I don't need to add more to it.
__________________
Avoid being a victim of a stroke, a stroke can happen to anyone at anytime. You will never know how devastating this could be until you had live through it. It affects everybody. So Support Stroke Awareness to find a cure and hope.
Cheri is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-17-2006, 07:40 PM   #11
racheleggert
Registered User
 
racheleggert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Twin Cities, MN
Posts: 2,314
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Stalking is where someone keeps on bugging you, and you get fed up, like keeping on calling, emailing, IMing, follow you around all of times, wouldn't leave you alone...

As for me, I work on camnpaigns or in political arena, I tend to keep my relationships with those people professional, nothing personal... I admit there are some good looking men but I rather to keep my distance and be professional. It also would be abouse of power for candidates or politicans unless I am dating one of them, it would be different story. When I was Student Senator, I would keep my relationship professional with my consituents expect that I dated one of my consituent who graduated with me from same HS who was my friend before.
racheleggert is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-17-2006, 08:34 PM   #12
Fragmenter
Registered User
 
Fragmenter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Lexington, KY
Posts: 823
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liza
It appears that he is getting unwanted attention from you, and that can qualify as stalking. Is that his photo and a slideshow of his pix in your signature?? Yikes. Not a good sign, girl.

You agreed to sex with him without strings attached. Both of you were adults. You knew what he wanted.. you only complicated the matter with your desires that are not shared by him, and I imagine it got uncomforable for him. He freaked. I'm sorry. I hope you find a good guy who will return your love and treat you better than he did.. You sound like a good person. Don't waste your life on this suave cockroach. You may want to resolve things with him.. but he doesn't want to resolve things with you. You can't do anything about it. He has to want to resolve it.. but no amount of force will get him to have true feelings for you. That sucks, but from a journey-woman to another.. wake up!

Sex is not a good way to rope in someone if he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you at all. You probably could sic the Bar on him to teach him professional manners in dealing with his clients, but don't do it for revenge. I don't know if he did a good job on your case.. that should be a consideration. Or you can proceed with a good lesson learned in making better choices in future situations like this. Good luck!
Quoted for truth. :stupid:
__________________
Please don't feed the Trolls. They are for your viewing entertainment only.

Thank you.
Fragmenter is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-17-2006, 08:56 PM   #13
CODAchild
Registered User
 
CODAchild's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Cranston, Rhode Island
Posts: 2,767
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Send a message via ICQ to CODAchild Send a message via AIM to CODAchild
Quote:
Originally Posted by ^Angel^
To me, stalking means, following someone around, harassment, becomes obsessed with their target and keep bullying them...


I have problems with someone who been cyberstalking me for years, but now I put this person on block, so hopefully this person will leave me alone for good...


I hope everything works out for you..

I agree with <Angel>, as those are the exact words I would have used. I feel so bad for you Coloravalanche. You are so nice to people, and to be treated this way is so wrong. Report him to the authorities, and yes, talk to someone at your State Bar Association. What this man did and I agree with others, he used his postion to be the powerful one.

I pray you can get this straigtened out and soon, so you can have peace in your life again!!! Until then, God bless.
CODAchild is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-17-2006, 09:39 PM   #14
coloravalanche
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by racheleggert
Stalking is where someone keeps on bugging you, and you get fed up, like keeping on calling, emailing, IMing, follow you around all of times, wouldn't leave you alone...

As for me, I work on camnpaigns or in political arena, I tend to keep my relationships with those people professional, nothing personal... I admit there are some good looking men but I rather to keep my distance and be professional. It also would be abouse of power for candidates or politicans unless I am dating one of them, it would be different story. When I was Student Senator, I would keep my relationship professional with my consituents expect that I dated one of my consituent who graduated with me from same HS who was my friend before.
I respect your opinion...but I agree about someone keeps on bugging you such as calling and emailing, etc...BUT...that is not stalking....that is harrassing...it depends on the situation..
  Reply With Quote
Unread 04-17-2006, 09:40 PM   #15
coloravalanche
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by CODAchild
I agree with <Angel>, as those are the exact words I would have used. I feel so bad for you Coloravalanche. You are so nice to people, and to be treated this way is so wrong. Report him to the authorities, and yes, talk to someone at your State Bar Association. What this man did and I agree with others, he used his postion to be the powerful one.

I pray you can get this straigtened out and soon, so you can have peace in your life again!!! Until then, God bless.
Thank you for your support and prayers...Yeah, I dont remember if I mention it earlier in this post but he recently emailed me last Friday and said to me, "**** yourself and die"...he send me his email from his WORK!
  Reply With Quote
Unread 04-17-2006, 10:08 PM   #16
MaxUFC
Registered User
 
MaxUFC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: New England
Posts: 2,251
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
You may not stalking person.

And you may be obessive compulsive person since you put the pic of this lawyer guy and your words - "I love him so much...but he hates me now" right here. That might what he saw yours here that piss him off?.

Or I don't know much about between you and that guy. You might have to let him go and forgot about him for good...then go out with your own friends to be support around you. You learned your mistake and not let happen again with next guy. Stay willpower against "fell in love" or "let do sex for pleasure" until many dates as you feel more convince that is this guy what you trust in your feeling. Good luck.
MaxUFC is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-17-2006, 11:51 PM   #17
deaf enginer
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I do know that when you have a stalker knocking on your door dont tell the police he is knocking on your door. Tell the police he is breaking into your house so that they come IMMEDIATELY. Once the stalker sees the police he will back off. If you dont say the stalker is breaking in the police wont take you seriously and wont come for like half an hour maybe. And maybe even by then the stalker will be breaking in. Thats my advice when it comes to stalkers.

As for the definition of one i think of it as assult. Assult is like threatening without any physical means of contact. Such as a threat on the phone. But when the stalker goes out of his bounds and touches you i think it goes as far as battery which means physical contact. Thats how i think of it i guess?

Erik
deaf enginer is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-18-2006, 08:29 AM   #18
racheleggert
Registered User
 
racheleggert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Twin Cities, MN
Posts: 2,314
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Well, I hate to say this- but I do agree with Max UFC.... Best is to remove that picture of lawyer, and forget about him. Go and find someone else who would treat u better than that loser lawyer......

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxUFC
You may not stalking person.

And you may be obessive compulsive person since you put the pic of this lawyer guy and your words - "I love him so much...but he hates me now" right here. That might what he saw yours here that piss him off?.

Or I don't know much about between you and that guy. You might have to let him go and forgot about him for good...then go out with your own friends to be support around you. You learned your mistake and not let happen again with next guy. Stay willpower against "fell in love" or "let do sex for pleasure" until many dates as you feel more convince that is this guy what you trust in your feeling. Good luck.
racheleggert is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-18-2006, 03:55 PM   #19
coloravalanche
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaxUFC
You may not stalking person.

And you may be obessive compulsive person since you put the pic of this lawyer guy and your words - "I love him so much...but he hates me now" right here. That might what he saw yours here that piss him off?.

Or I don't know much about between you and that guy. You might have to let him go and forgot about him for good...then go out with your own friends to be support around you. You learned your mistake and not let happen again with next guy. Stay willpower against "fell in love" or "let do sex for pleasure" until many dates as you feel more convince that is this guy what you trust in your feeling. Good luck.
Nah, Im not stalking or obsessive compulsive person...He is hearing and he nevers access our board...
  Reply With Quote
Unread 04-18-2006, 03:57 PM   #20
coloravalanche
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by racheleggert
Well, I hate to say this- but I do agree with Max UFC.... Best is to remove that picture of lawyer, and forget about him. Go and find someone else who would treat u better than that loser lawyer......
Alright...I will remove his picture...thanks for encouraging me..
  Reply With Quote
Unread 04-19-2006, 09:53 AM   #21
Oddball
Premium Member
 
Oddball's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The Toxic State
Posts: 4,851
Likes: 26
Liked 8 Times in 6 Posts
The definition of stalking is already explained by the members. When I noticed the picture of the guy with the caption, "I love him, but he hates me." It is big no-no because what if he sees it and thinks you are infutarated with him. It is obsession like Maxufc mentioned. Obsession is dangerous and not fun. Don't worry about him if he doesn't want to do anything with you, just using you for sex, etc. He is scumbag. Find someone else who loves you for who you are, ok.
Oddball is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-28-2006, 12:35 AM   #22
Chrysanthe
Registered User
 
Chrysanthe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 544
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I learned the term of Stalking, when my roommate was being stalked by her ex boyfriend,

The cop asked her few questions how she was being stalked. Then the cops explained the definition of stalking...

If you didn't tell him or her not to bother or talk or any contact, then he or she is not stalking.

If you ask him or her to leave you alone with no contact or stopping by, if he/she wouldn't leave you alone, then it is called stalking.

HE WAS stalking her because SHE TOLD him not to call, email, stop by or talk to her... She wanted to be left alone. Of course he didn't respect her wishes. He would come around midnight to bang on our door. It really scared her. SHe had to sleep in my room, so she'd feel safe.

He was charged with a stalking and was on RO from her.
Chrysanthe is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 04-28-2006, 02:41 PM   #23
WhoKnows
Registered User
 
WhoKnows's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: SouthWest
Posts: 162
Likes: 0
Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts
I believe that a person is stalking against someone is very sick mind, and needs to be placed in jail or get a serious help!

Same thing for rapists, and child predator. It makes me feel mad at these criminals do the repeat acts. Personally, I don't want to see innocent children or girls get hurt for no reason.
__________________
WhoKnows is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:24 AM.


Join AllDeaf on Facebook!    Follow us on Twitter!

AllDeaf proudly supports St. Jude Children's Research Hospital

Copyright © 2002-2014, AllDeaf.com. All Rights Reserved.