Dammit! Don't read this if you are fragile.

Berry

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When you have a big family something bad is going to happen sooner or later. You know that, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Getting ready to go to bed. Phone rings. Hysterical voice screams, "The baby didn't make it. The baby didn't make it."

"What baby? Who's this?"

A calmer voice comes on the line. "We are all down here at the hospital."

Clank.

I start getting dressed. My wife calls the hospital. "Do you have any babies in distress down there?"

"Sorry, ma'm. We can't give out any information without the full first and last name of the baby in question."

"I can give you the names of the possible mothers. I don't know all the babies last names. Can you do that?" I was called and told, not my wife so we can narrow down the possible mothers into a manageable group.

"Sorry. Unless the mother is the patient I can't tell you anything without the full first and last name of the baby."

I arrive at the hospital. Right now I'd be happy to find out this was a bad joke played by an idiot with a sick sense of humor. Unfortunately it is real.

My granddaughter, barely 16, not old enough to be a mother, is now the mother of a deceased baby. No one is old enough to be that. Wasn't that long ago she was looking up at me from a pair of diapers herself. Seems like just last week I was taking her to Micky D's for Mac Flurries.

There are at least 20 people here, most of them crying. Some are strangers. The baby's daddy has family too.

Who is here is interesting. My daughter, and the woman my granddaughter's father left her for, are crying in each other's arms. Where is the man they shared? I'm told his current wife doesn't want him around past lovers and would not let him come. Is that the way it really is? I don't know. I feel as though I have walked into the middle of a badly written movie.

I have another daughter, Bobbie, who is driving down the canyon from Reno, dealing with ice and rain. She has a cell phone but there are lots of dead spots there. We have agreed that if I don't hear from her by 10:45 pm. I'm going to start up the canyon looking for her. I don't even text her what is going on, she has enough to worry about.

The police are here. They need to question everyone involved? Why? Is something wrong?

Just standard procedure.

Someone is shoving something in my arms. I look down. "Here. Do you want to hold him?"

No. No. No. I do not want to hold dead babies. I feel the cold of his body as they push him at me. They are crying. They mean well. They want to share something precious with me. I watch as they caress his brow and kiss him.

"No."

Only live babies.

I'm not holding dead babies.

Some woman is down the hall screaming profanities at the police, and someone comments even dead babies should not hear such language.

It is like being battered by a tornado -- And I'm on the outskirts. My granddaughter is standing over her baby crying. She is in the center of the storm and there is no way in hell I can get inside of it and drag her back out to safety. I can only watch and hope she can ride it out, and someday come home safe.

My granddaughter won't leave until they take the baby. I won't leave until someone takes my granddaughter home.

When everyone has gone I'm standing outside the hospital in the rain. Bobbie and her sister drive up, a hot latte for dad. "Sorry we couldn't get here sooner."

I woke up this morning dreaming about people carrying dead babies.

Nobody should have to kiss a dead baby.
 
Sorry you had to go thru something like this.....

I, too, have had 2 dead babies (my grandsons), one died of a heart defect and the other one was still-born....and yes, I held them and cried tears of pain, gave them a "goodbye" kiss also and turned them over to God.
 
I am sorry. I have a large family on my both parents' sides that have been going on non stop being problem. :(
 
Total bummer, Berry. Sorry to hear about this. It's good that you are putting it in writing though. Maybe it will help...

Good luck to you and your family.
 
Sorry you had to go thru something like this.....

I, too, have had 2 dead babies (my grandsons), one died of a heart defect and the other one was still-born....and yes, I held them and cried tears of pain, gave them a "goodbye" kiss also and turned them over to God.

You are stronger than I am. I could not do it.

Just watching someone else do it ripped my insides out.
 
I'm sorry for your loss :( When my mother died, I kept holding her hand as if she was still alive. I was having a hard time accepting she is dead. We all do the strangest things when a loved one passed away.
 
(offtopic: is anyone experiencing a popup asking for your password and username on this thread?)
 
(offtopic: is anyone experiencing a popup asking for your password and username on this thread?)

I just did. It said it was from Sprint Relay asking me for my username and password.

Seems like somebody hacked the website or something. Or it's just a glitch. Better report it to Alex.
 
Thank you, everyone.

I will get through it. I always manage to.

But I worry what effect this will have on my granddaughter. How she will cope. How it will effect her attitudes, beliefs, what she does or does not do next. How it might effect who she will choose to run with.

She had planned on going to Butte College, learning a trade, doing things for her and her child, planning a life around a baby growing up --

I ran into a cliff yesterday

She fell off of one
 
I'm sorry for your loss :( When my mother died, I kept holding her hand as if she was still alive. I was having a hard time accepting she is dead. We all do the strangest things when a loved one passed away.

I agree. I remember when relatives died, if I didn't know them well... I wanted nothing to do with their deceased bodies. However with close relatives and the pets I owned... I treated like if they were still alive.

Sorry to hear that Berry. No one should have go through that experience.
 
Thank you, everyone.

I will get through it. I always manage to.

But I worry what effect this will have on my granddaughter. How she will cope. How it will effect her attitudes, beliefs, what she does or does not do next. How it might effect who she will choose to run with.

She had planned on going to Butte College, learning a trade, doing things for her and her child, planning a life around a baby growing up --

I ran into a cliff yesterday

She fell off of one

I'm terribly sad to hear of the news. I hope everything will get better soon on and that your granddaughter will be able to cope with the loss of her baby
 
I'm not sure.... but is this real??? I thought it's your dream! confused....
 
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