Is It Ok For Girlfriend/Boyfriend to Go Through Phone

Doug5

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or laptop or email?

I say no
 
It depends, if you share finances and family it should be ok. If you are not even in a serious relationship then no.
 
I don't have a problem for them to go through my phone or computer..since it's locked out. I wouldn't allow anyone other than immediate family or SO snooped through my computer or phone.
 
If the person you are seeing does not trust you enough and they need to go through your computer, they shouldn't be dating you, they should be dating someone they trust.
 
Why would she want to go through your phone in the first place?

I can understand someone wanting to see your phone because it's different like one person (doesn't have an iPhone) plays with another person's iPhone.

However, if it's just to go through everyone on the contact list... look at your bookmarks... read all the emails and texts... etc... then NOYB!

For me, she doesn't use my phone to go through everything on it. She uses it to access something her iPhone can't access. She also uses it to look at something I'm currently looking at so that she doesn't have to go through the hassle of looking at it.

It's sad though that some people think it's required to go through everything on the other person's phone, but that shows a lot of distrust. I know a few people that were like that. One girl got on her boyfriend's computer and went through the whole AIM buddy list. "Why do you know this girl? How do you know that girl? Why do you have girls on your buddy list?" Another girl went on her boyfriend's phone. "I didn't know you knew that girl... *rolls eyes* Why did that girl text you? Are you seeing this girl behind my back?"

I knew a girl who demanded that her boyfriend prove his love by changing his Facebook account to a him/her account (with both names on it). What happened next? She took over the whole account and deleted people from his list that she didn't approve of, but added a whole lot of her people to the list. So, the account pretty much became hers... with a tiny bit of "him" in it. :roll:
 
I agree Doug5: not OK.

I suspect when you are first dating, you want to get to know everything you can about a person, in a good way, and sometimes that comes out in odd snooping behavior. It once was that you could tell something about a person you were dating by flipping through their music and photo albums or taking a look at what books they have on shelves, what's in the fridge, what artwork is on their walls, but now that stuff is often only on our computers. I don't think it's ever OK to go through boxes of letters or diaries or listen in on phone calls, and think you can make a pretty clear parallel to what sort of thing you ought not to look at on a laptop of cell phone (email, documents, notes, contacts, call logs).
 
I let my SO use my computer at any time, and my phone. I guess we have a solid trust level that there's nothing for us to worry about. There's nothing on my computer or phone that would be unacceptable for him to look at, and vice versa.
 
I let my SO use my computer at any time, and my phone. I guess we have a solid trust level that there's nothing for us to worry about. There's nothing on my computer or phone that would be unacceptable for him to look at, and vice versa.

Funny, I had the same thing with my ex up until our last year together when suddenly she was very secretive and didn't want me to EVER go into her emails on our computer. Very strange since I didn't care to snoop. But, her insistence made me curious... found nothing of interest, but still. Not a good way to live. And, since I am knowledgeable in Computer Forensics, even the deleted stuff was easy for me to see. (yes, even deleted photos on the camera were mind numbingly easy to see)

I don't snoop on my GF phone or computer and she doesn't snoop on mine. If she has something she does not want me to see, I don't care to find out. I don't want to go back to my old relationship, I want complete trust. To get complete trust, one must offer complete trust. Besides, once you marry, there are few if any secrets. And if you really don't want your SO to know something about you... perhaps you should not get married.
 
yeah, this was a sore topic with my ex. I told her no, cuz I dont need anyone rifling through my stuff, and she was like what do I have to hide?
 
Funny, I had the same thing with my ex up until our last year together when suddenly she was very secretive and didn't want me to EVER go into her emails on our computer. Very strange since I didn't care to snoop. But, her insistence made me curious... found nothing of interest, but still. Not a good way to live. And, since I am knowledgeable in Computer Forensics, even the deleted stuff was easy for me to see. (yes, even deleted photos on the camera were mind numbingly easy to see)

I don't snoop on my GF phone or computer and she doesn't snoop on mine. If she has something she does not want me to see, I don't care to find out. I don't want to go back to my old relationship, I want complete trust. To get complete trust, one must offer complete trust. Besides, once you marry, there are few if any secrets. And if you really don't want your SO to know something about you... perhaps you should not get married.

I guess there is a reason she was your ex, then?

Yes, I agree -- not a good way to live -- when we have to be suspicious of our partners. I'm so happy I don't have that feeling.
 
No, it would change who you are. It's unfortunately, individual have their dark secret that nobody want to share. Maybe their best friend or mom.
 
Should not have things on phone your partner can't see. If you have nothing hide, who cares?
 
eh, had a boyfriend who would do that all the time. if i was with him and he felt my sidekick vibrate, he would grab it playfully and see who was texting me..also caught him snooping through my phone after i left the room. i didn't care because i had nothing to hide
 
eh, had a boyfriend who would do that all the time. if i was with him and he felt my sidekick vibrate, he would grab it playfully and see who was texting me..also caught him snooping through my phone after i left the room. i didn't care because i had nothing to hide

I would care if I came into a room and caught someone snooping on my phone without my permission. That's a creepy invasion of privacy.
 
no, only for email/texts.

some of my girlfriends have their secret lives that they dont want my hubby to know about them. But my hub can use my pager if he leaves his pager somewhere in the house.
 
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