Surprise Dad !

Well, I just found out from my Daughter that she is now engaged. Her and her boyfriend are looking to buy a house now and she has a shiny new Rock on her finger. I am glad she ditched her party boy loser that she used to date as he was going no where, working at the food court in the mall, no plans to go to college, partying every waking moment he was off work ( which was part time) so never had money and my daughter paying his way everywhere. Now she has a guy who has his head on straight, has college under his belt, making good money, treats my daughter very well and has a bright future ahead of him. Both of them make good money, care about each other, have good careers with college under their belts and still furthering their educations. I believe they are going to do very well together.
Right now they have seperate apartments until their leases are up but plan to buy a house soon. But this guy takes the cake!!!
He comes in the morning and cooks breakfast for my daughter before heading home ( he works nights) Then has dinner waiting when she comes home and spends some time together before he heads off to work. They have their weekends off to spend together, and Ive never seen my daughter happier.

Good to hear, Sono...and wishing my own daughter would wise up and do the same....after a long battle with drug/alcohol addiction, she's been clean for a year now...but still clings to that dead-beat boyfriend who can't hold down a job, has no $$ or a car...I ran him off the property 2 weeks ago...:roll: & ...so he's scared of my temper....Have talked myself blue in the face about it to her...and so have other family members & friends....

We're not allowed to choose our kids spouses...but believe we're allowed to voice our disapproval of someone we feel isn't right for them....

rockin'robin said:

We're not allowed to choose our kids spouses...but believe we're allowed to voice our disapproval of someone we feel isn't right for them....

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And you can also not give them money because you already know who will really be receiving it. Around the holidays, just give her items she'd need for the house, a blanket for her bed, gloves, a nice coat (if you know her size) or kitchen appliances. It's hard when you have people hanging on for freebies instead of contributing to the relationship...but there are other ways to show your love and support without supporting him.

@Sonocativo - feels weird to get this news doesn't it? Life is changing but it's always wonderful to see your family find happiness after kissing so many frogs...

Yes ir does Lau2046, And RR, My daughters first real boyfriend ( they met in Highschool first year) well, he did nothing but party (underage drinking)
I pulled her aside one day when I took her to sign up for college and had a good talk with her as she started college during her last year of highschool as she already had the credits to graduate, she wanted to stay the last year for extra credits and graduate with her classmates. Well 2 years after highschool I asked her about PartyBoy, and his excuse was he was going to take a year or 2 off before starting college... well that came and went, she graduated and started working as a Vet tech asst. Now a Vet Tech doing surgeries and PartyBoy was, well, still partying. Didnt make money and rather party than take her out...ect... so, we talked and she said she was giving him the ultimatum, and so he shrugged her off and Down came the Hammer !!!! He didnt have a care in the world til she started dating her new boyfriend ( she actually knew him from school years ago ) then PartyBoy wanted her back and started making excuses to go to school, get a better job..ect... well, she straight up told him, he had his chance and blew it, too late..ect...
She has been seeing her new boyfriend a couple years now, they live in the same apartment complex, just different buildings, and plan to move in/merge together until the others lease is up to cut bills and save to buy a house. My daughter has already been pre-approved and I did take her to look at some houses awhile back but needed too much work and I dont want her to get into anything she cant handle financially. Remodeling/decorating is one thing, but structural and damaged homes are another.
I just found a couple nice big homes on the cheap for them that they are looking into as its a reasonable distance to both their employers.

Congrats!!

I am so not hoping for my kid to become that age. She's 11 now and I told her any BF or GF she meets, I get to meet as well. She was like 'Oh no no no no, you'd scare them away! AND I AM NOT GETTING A GF!! EWWWWW!!!", follow with me saying "You'll never know! haha".

They can't stay young forever. *sigh* Which we could bottle them up and keep them at that age.

RisinDragon said:

Congrats!!

I am so not hoping for my kid to become that age. She's 11 now and I told her any BF or GF she meets, I get to meet as well. She was like 'Oh no no no no, you'd scare them away! AND I AM NOT GETTING A GF!! EWWWWW!!!", follow with me saying "You'll never know! haha".

They can't stay young forever. *sigh* Which we could bottle them up and keep them at that age.

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Yeah, I make her BF second guess crossing her or me...lol
But she does good herself (blackbelt)
Anyways, I was invited to dinner with them later this week to meet him, he seems a good kid we are all friends on FB.

Congrats Mike. My daughter in Ireland has been with her boyfriend for 4+ years. The other day she emailed me and told me she had some big news. I was super excited, but found out later that she broke up with him. Not only is she staying in Ireland, but now she is there alone. We really, really liked this guy. We were OK with her moving there for school because he was going with her. I have a lot of his stuff stored in my house. He has decided to live back there too. At this rate, I will never be a grandma.

Angel1989 said:

Congrats Mike. My daughter in Ireland has been with her boyfriend for 4+ years. The other day she emailed me and told me she had some big news. I was super excited, but found out later that she broke up with him. Not only is she staying in Ireland, but now she is there alone. We really, really liked this guy. We were OK with her moving there for school because he was going with her. I have a lot of his stuff stored in my house. He has decided to live back there too. At this rate, I will never be a grandma.

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Well, My daughter has vow'd time and time again she doesnt want kids, I dont blame her, but who knows what the future holds as she gets older. She says she just wants to get a house and save money and enjoy life without any anchors.... but that can all change if her fiance wants kids?

You never know- I know of someone who said they'd never have kids. They didn't for the first few years of marriage. Now they have one son who they adore and is now around 11 or so (I can't remember the exact age).

Me on the other hand will probably never marry-- but I have people telling me "you never know!" Well by THIS age I am now, I'm pretty sure...

I myself never know what my future holds. I'm 30 now, but in about six weeks' time I'll be 31, and I never know what I'll end up doing. Just keeping ALL my options open.

DeafDucky said:

You never know- I know of someone who said they'd never have kids. They didn't for the first few years of marriage. Now they have one son who they adore and is now around 11 or so (I can't remember the exact age).

Me on the other hand will probably never marry-- but I have people telling me "you never know!" Well by THIS age I am now, I'm pretty sure...

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I dated my friends sister, we were pretty much just hang out buddies, went to dinners and rode motorcycles. She never really wanted a relationship with me, just a motorcycle riding buddy and out to eat but they were my second family and still are. I didnt know it til later she was into older men ( I was older but not older enough...lol
She didnt want kids, married a retired firefighter and after a few years she wasnt feeling well, went to the doc and found out she was pregnant, she cried for 2 weeks straight.... funny thing is, he was fixed but the little swimming tubes found their way together again...they have a beautiful daughter who is mid 20s now.

sonocativo said:

Well, My daughter has vow'd time and time again she doesnt want kids, I dont blame her, but who knows what the future holds as she gets older. She says she just wants to get a house and save money and enjoy life without any anchors.... but that can all change if her fiance wants kids?

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My oldest son has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for six years. They have no desire to get married or have children. Times have changed I guess. My oldest daughter want's to live in Europe and travel for a few more years. I guess if she can afford it good for her. We will see how the job search pans out. My youngest daughter, well lets just say I hope she doesn't marry this guy. My mom has 16 grandkids, 3 great grandkids with more to come. I'm just asking for a couple of them.

Angel1989 said:

My oldest son has been in a relationship with his girlfriend for six years. They have no desire to get married or have children. Times have changed I guess. My oldest daughter want's to live in Europe and travel for a few more years. I guess if she can afford it good for her. We will see how the job search pans out. My youngest daughter, well lets just say I hope she doesn't marry this guy. My mom has 16 grandkids, 3 great grandkids with more to come. I'm just asking for a couple of them.

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It is up to you how you feel about answering; but I have lost count of how many kids you have and of which gender.

sonocativo said:

Well, My daughter has vow'd time and time again she doesnt want kids, I dont blame her, but who knows what the future holds as she gets older. She says she just wants to get a house and save money and enjoy life without any anchors.... but that can all change if her fiance wants kids?

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That's something they need to discuss seriously before they get married. It could be disastrous if they're not on the same page about something so serious and life-impacting.

Reba said:

That's something they need to discuss seriously before they get married. It could be disastrous if they're not on the same page about something so serious and life-impacting.

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I second that....I remember when I was taking a Home Economics class - yes, we had them....I really respected the teacher, she was a lovely lady and her daughter was sadly on one of the first planes to hit the tower on 9/11....

Anyway, she said going into a marriage, you are who you are. If you go into a marriage expecting to change a person, the marriage will fail. She was amazed how often people opted to marriage without discussing finances, children, religion, schools - really major issues before making a life commitment. If your daughter Sonocativo, doesn't want children, I'd try and impress on them the importance of discussing this and agreeing on the issue before marriage because this is really something that's non negotiable for most people.

Jane B. said:

It is up to you how you feel about answering; but I have lost count of how many kids you have and of which gender.

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I have three, oldest a boy, middle a girl, youngest a girl. I occasionally talk about my other son who passed away many years ago.

Lau2046 said:

I second that....I remember when I was taking a Home Economics class - yes, we had them....I really respected the teacher, she was a lovely lady and her daughter was sadly on one of the first planes to hit the tower on 9/11....

Anyway, she said going into a marriage, you are who you are. If you go into a marriage expecting to change a person, the marriage will fail. She was amazed how often people opted to marriage without discussing finances, children, religion, schools - really major issues before making a life commitment. If your daughter Sonocativo, doesn't want children, I'd try and impress on them the importance of discussing this and agreeing on the issue before marriage because this is really something that's non negotiable for most people.

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She has already talked to her BF about it, apparently neither wants kids...yet.... but things change as they get older and more mature. I know after my first marriage/divorce and custody of my daughter...I myself didnt want any more kids ( just for the hell i went through with my ex) I dated a few and had a relationship that was more of a FWB for years, she said she didnt want kids, didnt want to marry...ect..., then one night a few years later , all the sudden she came at me full force that she wanted a baby and get married...whoa !!!!! Well, she got pissed at me because i wouldnt "give" her a child, and I was like wtf? I pretty much told her straight up we were just F-buddies and she didnt like that.
long story short, she married had 2 kids and already divorcing because the guy really wasnt a match for her, we still talk now, things may have been differnt, but she came at me with her all to get pregnant and I was like hell no. Although I vowed back then that I didnt want anymore kids and never get married again, here I am married with a wonderful son.
Relationships take a lot of work, nothing is easy.
My daughter seen what ive been through and she does not want that herself, she is smart and has her head straight.

Well, My daughter contacted me today. She has an interview to be a Pharmacy Tech. She is looking to get out of the Vet field since it has been so depressing for her lately with all the people bringing their pets in to be put down for no reasons other than they cant afford to feed them.
Besides they dont pay but Min. Wage, she is looking to move up in the world with a better paying career and advance within and get some more schooling under her belt as well. They are setting their wedding date for May.

sonocativo said:

Well, My daughter contacted me today. She has an interview to be a Pharmacy Tech. She is looking to get out of the Vet field since it has been so depressing for her lately with all the people bringing their pets in to be put down for no reasons other than they cant afford to feed them.
Besides they dont pay but Min. Wage, she is looking to move up in the world with a better paying career and advance within and get some more schooling under her belt as well. They are setting their wedding date for May.

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Hey Mike, did your daughter go to Pharmacy Technician school? In most states, if not all, it requires you to be licensed. In my state, school is about 2 years and then you have to put in many hours working as an intern. To work in a hospital, mixing IV's extra you have to be certified which takes even longer. Unfortunately even after all that Pharmacy Technician pay ranges between $10-$18 an hour.

Angel1989 said:

Hey Mike, did your daughter go to Pharmacy Technician school? In most states, if not all, it requires you to be licensed. In my state, school is about 2 years and then you have to put in many hours working as an intern. To work in a hospital, mixing IV's extra you have to be certified which takes even longer. Unfortunately even after all that Pharmacy Technician pay ranges between $10-$18 an hour.

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I dont have all the details yet, she does all the meds/shots and stuff like that at the vet now so not sure what all she has, this position she is shooting for is just to get her foot in the door and close the last one. A friend of mine, his step daughter did the same thing a few years back (she had no experience with neds) and got in the door, she is now managing the place ( different location ) so Im sure with my daughters experiences she shouldnt have a problem at all getting in the door ( a lot of vet meds are actually same meds for humans, not all I know, but some)
I told her last year to get back in school and get into nursing, pharmacy..ect... as its a better paying field but she loves animals and loves helping them, but this past year really got to her with everyone putting their pets down. Her and a friend there have actually had owners sign over their pets and they would foster and rehome them, now that she has an apartment she cant have the extra animals... same with her friend, but my daughter doesnt want to keep putting down unwanted pets, getting depressing for her, so she decided to move on as the field doesnt pay well anyways.