Is it Possible to Be Raised Gender Neutral?

No, everyone is born with sex. Either you're a male, female, or a hermaphrodite. There's no sexless child.

The child may prefer to adopt the role of the opposite gender but that's ok. But to raise a child without gender is just a bit silly. Let the child explore what works best for the child. Let the child know what he was born with.
 
biology/sex and gender are NOT the same thing. biology is a medical thing and gender is human social construct based on societal perceptions and implications.

"act like a -boy-" and "act like a -girl-" are based on society's prejudices...

because one has a penis or a vagina doesn't necessarily dictate their gender.

but I do see what you mean about the shirts and trouser thing, lucas and grayma.

I think what seems confusing is not the idea but the way they in particular seem to be applying it.

Biology is not merely a medical thing. Your hormones are just as much a part of the environment that influences you as society's constructs.

There are more things to the biology of male and female than your reproductive organs as well.

There's a lot of interesting stuff about the different ways boys' and girls' brains are hardwired here.

I agree with letting kids play with what they want to play with and the way they want to play. I don't have a problem with dressing kids in gender neutral clothing. But there are actually hardwired differences.

Many of those differences are the reason why boys have so much more trouble in school than girls.
 
oh, yes, I've read some things about male and female brains...I'd like to look at what you have there when I'm not so tired:)

just because there are hardwired differences, I don't think that should dictate what or how kids play or what they wear. Like if a boy wants to wear a dress regardless of how he identifies personally - why not?

My understanding is partly that boys mature more slowly than girls do and work in relationships differently..the current structure in many of the schools, especially if more "traditional" or "basic-curriculum-centered" , is that this structure ends up favoring how many girls learn and interact vs. many boys.
 
First of all, they can't do it. Biology is not gender neutral.

Secondly, they are lying, probably to themselves as much as the public. They aren't interested in gender neutral. They permitted extremely feminine clothing, but denied him the right to wear masculine clothing. I read about them in another article which said they sent out Christmas pictures of the child in glittery pink sequined swim-wear, but also say he's not allowed to wear hyper masculine clothing such as t-shirts with skulls. Who says that's hyper masculine? Two of my girls love skulls designs on their clothes. Why are skulls 'hyper' masculine, but an obnoxiously glittery, pink, sequined swim suit isn't 'hyper' feminine? His mom said that all kids love sparkly stuff, but that's her own stereotype. Not all of mine did. One of my girls in particular has always hated pink or sparkly.

They say they aren't forcing it, but in two articles now they admit they've banned him from wearing male clothing. How is it not pushing their own ideas to *ban* combat trousers while 'encouraging' flowery tops?

Lastly, I think it's abusive to use your child as a sociological experiment.
My 6yo granddaughter like to wear t shits with a skull on it with her pink skirt .One of my favorite t shits had the dead come to life , there are dancing skeletons on it. I notice that too the boy was wearing feminine clothes and a peals necklace , his parents are giving he kids mix messages . That it ok to wear girl clothes but not boys clothes . I can't help but wonder what did the kid doctor think about this and why no one had the parents checked out to see if they where playing with a full deck of cards!
 
Growing up in the 1950's-60's, I pretty much played with whatever I wanted. I don't recall any big deal about gender-specific toys or activities.

Just because I sometimes wore petticoats and white gloves didn't mean I couldn't sometimes wear my toy cap gun double six-shooters and cowboy clothes. I played equally with Barbie and GI Joe. I had a doll house and a construction set. So what?

Just because a girl enjoys girly things and appearance doesn't limit her in other activities and interests.

Just because a boy enjoys manly things and appearance doesn't limit him in other activities and interests.

So-called gender neutrality childhood is ridiculous. Those parents have their own issues to sort out but they'd rather foist it on the kids. Bleh! :P

I knew 3 brothers that where all dressed a girls and the mother had the boys hair long and curly . She want girls and only had boys. The poor boys where really confused for a long time!
 
oh, yes, I've read some things about male and female brains...I'd like to look at what you have there when I'm not so tired:)

just because there are hardwired differences, I don't think that should dictate what or how kids play or what they wear. Like if a boy wants to wear a dress regardless of how he identifies personally - why not?

My understanding is partly that boys mature more slowly than girls do and work in relationships differently..the current structure in many of the schools, especially if more "traditional" or "basic-curriculum-centered" , is that this structure ends up favoring how many girls learn and interact vs. many boys.

I don't think it should dictate how the kids play, but I do think it's fine to have some gender differences in apparel. I know of no culture that doesn't have some clothing that is distinctly one gender or the other. This has been the case forever. I am not quick to suppose that just because moderns have found some bright idea to play with that means we know better than every society that has ever lived.
Gender identity is a sociologically healthy step, not an error committed by every society for thousands of years.

There are so many interesting biological differences between the two sexes. The way this plays out ins chools is about far more than 'boys mature slowly,' It's also interesting to me how our society claims girls are the underdogs, but we use words that are derogatory to boys to describe the differences- we say they mature more slowly than girls, making girls the standard, and making the things girls are good at the standard (it's kind of like audism isn't it?)

Boys and girls have different numbers of rods and cones in the eye. Boys have more of the one that detects movement, and less of the one that detects color- they really are better at depth perception.

In preschool, *most* boys will want to draw actions, verbs- and they don't use a lot of different colored crayons.
Most girls draw nouns, and they do use lots of different colored crayons.
This makes sense when you know about the rods and cones. It's not socially imposed. But what is socially imposed is that the lady teacher walks around the room, coos over the girl's pictures and suggests the boys use some more color. Immediately, the boys notice that the teacher only suggested that they change the way they draw, not the girls. They learn the first week that girls are better at thsi school stuff.

This also transfers over to doing work book pages- something easier for girls because of the way their eyes are designed, and something a little harder for most boys.

Boys learn better standing up. They think more clearly standing up and slouching over their desks, which they aren't allowed to do in school. That's not a maturity issue, that's a physiological difference typically found between males and females. It works to girls' advantage in schools, and to a boy's disadvantage.

A fascinating study done on college students revealed that regardless of sexual preferences- pain caused blood to flow *to* a male's brain, and caused blood to leave a female's brain. It sharpens male thinking, dulls female thinking (hence, we have more than one child).

There's even a difference in optimum temperature preferences for learning. Boys learn better when it's a little colder, girls learn better at temperatures so warm it puts the boys to sleep. But school teachers in the lower grades usually are women, and the class room thermostat is set to their preference.

There are several more- all equally fascinating.

With all these physiological differences between girls and boys, I have to believe that there are far more inborn differences than we were aware of when we tried to do away with them in the seventies.
 
That settles it. The parents wanted him as a girl and that is fucked up. Raising kids in neutral genders can obviously get them sexually confused and such. Not a total good idea at all.
 
Wirelessly posted

As mentioned by a few others gender does not equal sex. Gender is socially constructed and may or may not be congruent with one's biological sex. I tend to have a Butlarian perspective in that I see gender as being performed. A man can perform femininity as well as a women can and a women can perform masculinity. Societal expectations dictate that girls should act feminine and boys should act masculine. This family was attempting to subvert the gender norms and expectations put on by society by allowing their child his or hers own agency and form an identity based on what they want not what society dictates. I think they should allow the child to wear "hyper masculized" clothing if the child wants to. Gender neutrality is slowly becoming legally and socially acceptable all over the world, with Australia allowing unspecified gender on passports and a completely gender neutral school in Sweden. I think defining how someone should act, dress an look based on arbitrary criteria can have negative consequences on their identity. I'm not denying that there is biological and hormonal differences between males and females. I think people should be able to express their gender how they want without social and legal consequences. If a boys wants to play with barbies or wear pink that's fine, if he doesn't that's fine too. The same with girls, they should be able to play with trucks and have short hair without any social consequences.
 
Female here...but growing up I was labeled a "tomboy"...climbing the highest tree, playing cowboys & Indians, etc. Soon as I hit my pre-teenage years, I was all girly and wore feminine clothes. And found "boys"....
I really think what this couple did to their child was just for the news, for the attention....not thinking it might damage the child. Just something "new" to try.

My boys even wore pink socks at times when it was sort of the "rage" with teenagers....pink backpacks, etc. Now that rage is sort of passe'....something else will come up soon....And they wear a lot of those plastic bracelets and necklaces....that would "seem" odd years ago, but it's the rage today.
 
Gender nuetrality is silly in my opinion. The long-term effects of this has yet to be studied but something tells me this boy is going to be very confused. Not only that he may also be getting bullied at school for wearing 'girly' clothes. Good intentions, wrong method I think.
 
my opinion on gender neutrality
possibly good in theory
but in practice could use quite a bit of work.
 
Female here...but growing up I was labeled a "tomboy"...climbing the highest tree, playing cowboys & Indians, etc. Soon as I hit my pre-teenage years, I was all girly and wore feminine clothes. And found "boys"....
I really think what this couple did to their child was just for the news, for the attention....not thinking it might damage the child. Just something "new" to try.

My boys even wore pink socks at times when it was sort of the "rage" with teenagers....pink backpacks, etc. Now that rage is sort of passe'....something else will come up soon....And they wear a lot of those plastic bracelets and necklaces....that would "seem" odd years ago, but it's the rage today.

I remember there were guys at my son's school wearing pink or had pink accessories as in pink shirts, pink socks, pink backpacks, pink cellphones. As my son explained it, it was a true test of masculinity if you could wear pink and not be self-conscious or worried what others would think. And what was interesting was that apparently the guys who wore pink were the most successful in landing girlfriends.

Later, I asked one of the girls at the school what they thought about all of this and they said they were attracted to how confident and un-selfconscious the guys were about wearing pink.

They may have a point there - one of my sisters had a poster of Mick Jagger dressed head to toe in a hot pink outfit at a concert. He looked damn hot.

As for the OP's article - it's not exactly gender neutral if you're deliberating encouraging your son to wear female clothing. If the article had stated that the couple allowed their son to pick out his own clothing without any influence on their part, then I would have believed they were truly gender neutral.
 
I remember there were guys at my son's school wearing pink or had pink accessories as in pink shirts, pink socks, pink backpacks, pink cellphones. As my son explained it, it was a true test of masculinity if you could wear pink and not be self-conscious or worried what others would think. And what was interesting was that apparently the guys who wore pink were the most successful in landing girlfriends.

Later, I asked one of the girls at the school what they thought about all of this and they said they were attracted to how confident and un-selfconscious the guys were about wearing pink.

They may have a point there - one of my sisters had a poster of Mick Jagger dressed head to toe in a hot pink outfit at a concert. He looked damn hot.

As for the OP's article - it's not exactly gender neutral if you're deliberating encouraging your son to wear female clothing. If the article had stated that the couple allowed their son to pick out his own clothing without any influence on their part, then I would have believed they were truly gender neutral.

I agree Caroline. And, to be honest, the whole thing makes me feel like they were not really thinking ahead and giving due consideration to the consequences of their actions. I think they must have worked very hard at not allowing common sense to stand in the way of their academic/experimental pursuit :roll:
 
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