Seeking advice

KellyC

New Member
Joined
Oct 16, 2011
Messages
52
Reaction score
0
Hello, I am looking for some advice. I have a deaf aunt (my father's sister) and she lives across the country so I did not have many opportunities to see her while I was growing up. Then, her relationship with my parents became estranged when my grandfather died years and years ago, so it has been a long time.

When she would visit us, I always thought she was such an amazing person, so fun to be around. She sketched phenomenal drawings at lightening speed! She was not born deaf, but became so when she was very young. She did go to an all-deaf school, but never embraced sign language and relied on reading lips and writing notes instead. I am not sure why.

I am 32 now and am starting to lose hearing in my left ear due to otosclerosis. I feel like my right ear will shortly follow because I can hear crackling noises, etc just like on the left side. I am scared of the possibility of becoming deaf late in life, after relying entirely on verbal language. I want to try to find my aunt to ask her for advice, but I feel like that would be selfish since I haven't been in touch since her falling out with my parents. What do you think? Would she be offended if I contacted her? I don't even know if i could locate her, I heard that she has moved to a new state.

Thanks in advance for any help.
 
I would have no qualms in contacting ur Aunt...she is family. And perhaps could be a big and good help to you regarding ur hearing. Good Luck!
 
What's the worst that could happen? You find her and she doesn't want anything to do with you?

Maybe she will be thrilled and you will have expanded your family. It can't hurt to try.
 
Thank you for your replies. I think I will try to find her, but I really wouldn't want her to think I was using her for information after not trying to reach her since I was a kid. I wish she lived closer. Does the Deaf community use Skype a lot? It seems like it would be a nice way to chat online, for those who sign ASL. Just crossed my mind.

Rockin' Robin, your little dog (Papillion?) is super cute! I love dogs.
 
Thank you for your replies. I think I will try to find her, but I really wouldn't want her to think I was using her for information after not trying to reach her since I was a kid. I wish she lived closer. Does the Deaf community use Skype a lot? It seems like it would be a nice way to chat online, for those who sign ASL. Just crossed my mind.

Rockin' Robin, your little dog (Papillion?) is super cute! I love dogs.

Yes. Do it. no regrets that way.

The Deaf community uses videophones now. Skype/oovoo too..
 
Thank you. We used to call my aunt using a TDD. The videophone must be much better.
 
Hi KellyC....she is a Pomeranian, 4 years old, named "Anita". She's my Baby.
 
Definitely try. You have something more in common with her now than you could imagine before.

"Anger heals. Hurt fades. But regret lasts with you forever."
 
Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. I have been trying to find my aunt online. I found a website listing alumni of PSD and both she and her husband are on the list, however, there is no contact information. I also came across a family tree website that includes her name, but again, no contact info. Then I found a facebook page with her name, but no picture or any info so even if it is hers, she doesn't seem to use it. I will keep trying.
 
Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. I have been trying to find my aunt online. I found a website listing alumni of PSD and both she and her husband are on the list, however, there is no contact information. I also came across a family tree website that includes her name, but again, no contact info. Then I found a facebook page with her name, but no picture or any info so even if it is hers, she doesn't seem to use it. I will keep trying.

If you sign up for ancestry.com you can do a live persons search. The membership is kind of expensive, but you can do a free two week trial. Long enough to likely get the information you need. If you don't want to be charged for it, you need to remember to cancel before the two weeks is up.

Good luck!
 
If you sign up for ancestry.com you can do a live persons search. The membership is kind of expensive, but you can do a free two week trial. Long enough to likely get the information you need. If you don't want to be charged for it, you need to remember to cancel before the two weeks is up.

Good luck!

Great idea, the website looks cool. If I can't figure out another way to get her info, I will sign up for the trial membership.
 
:welcome: to AllDeaf forum. Almost most of us, Deafies, had a falling out with our parents because they don't understand us why we could not be like them. That would include hearing siblings, too. Well, your auntie seem to be use to not signing and would rather lipread which is not accurate unless your auntie might have some mild or moderate hearing loss and probably tried to lipread and hearing (hearing aid(s)) what the person said at the same time.

That is good that she can have someone write to her so that she will understand what the person said. If she can talk, even in her deaf accent, the hearing person might be able to understand her but will write down what the hearing person say. Trying to grasp what the hearing person say from lipreading can be very frustrating and not a good tool. That is why ASL help the Deaf person (no matter what kind of hearing loss) to understand what we are talking about. ASL is like a picture signs with some sentences that does not make a complete sentences.

If you can not find your auntie living so far across the country like California or Oregon or State of Washington. Then would it be better if you can ask us for advice right here instead of your auntie, eh?. :fingersx:

I hope you have fun reading and posting all the threads here. See you around here. :wave:
 
Thanks, Bebonang! My aunt was living in California and I am in Pennsylvania, but I do not know where she is living now. When she would visit us, she and I would pass notes back and forth constantly! Even though she was profoundly deaf and could not talk at all, I didn't find it hard to communicate that way at all. She would draw a lot of pictures of her visit and it was so neat to capture the memory that way.

I don't think the issue with my parents and her had anything to do with her being deaf. My mom told me once that my aunt did not have the same relationship with her parents because they sent her to live at an all-deaf school. I was thinking about that comment a lot recently as I was reading a book called "My Sister's Voice," because the whole theme of the book ooks at how things worked out for the sister who was raised at home with their parents and the sister who went to an all deaf school and found the Deaf community to be her family. My aunt doesn't have any sisters, but she had two brothers.

In my search for my aunt, I found two people with the same name and emailed both. Maybe I will get lucky and one will be her. In the meantime, I started learning ASL phrases and signed up for a beginners class that will start in January. I did post questions about my condition on AllDeaf, but only one nice girl replied. I get the impression that its because I am currently hearing. Just like some hearing people unfortunately stereotype all Deaf people, I think also some Deaf people have prejudices against all hearing people. I wish everyone could just treat everyone as an individual, you know?
 
Naisho is so awesome and helped me find some information on my aunt. I sent her a letter even though I think her address has changed, in the hopes that the post office will send it to her forwarding address. I am hopeful and nervous. I will let you all know if she responds.
 
Guess what?! My aunt received my letter and sent me a nice reply. I'm so happy!! Thank you all for encouraging me to reach out to her. Thank you! Special thanks to Naisho!
 
Guess what?! My aunt received my letter and sent me a nice reply. I'm so happy!! Thank you all for encouraging me to reach out to her. :thankyou:

Great! I love happy endings.
 
Back
Top