I'm hearing, I have a crush on this deaf girl..

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Taylor73

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Hey everyone, I really need advice. I'm 18 years old and hearing. My second semester at college just started, and this girl stumbled into my painting class (I'm an art major) like 10 minutes late. As she walked in and took her seat, it seemed as if the world was moving in slow motion. As it turns out, she's deaf, and there's an interpreter in the class. I'm really shy and cripplingly socially awkward, so normally I just keep to myself, but there's just something about her that I feel I have to introduce myself. I'm just not sure how to go about doing that... I've been teaching myself a little ASL on YouTube as much as I can, but I can't exactly carry a conversation beyond basic introductions. I feel like going through the interpreter might be awkward as well. Also, if I do try ASL, I know I'll screw something up, and I'm afraid she might take it as being offensive. And why would she want anything to do with me anyway, considering there would be quite a communication barrier? I don't know, I already have issues with social interactions, but now I'm just totally lost. Should I just leave it alone, like is it just an unrealistic pipe dream? Should I just forget her? Or should I just give it a shot, and if so, should I try what little ASL I know? What if she signs using something different though, like BSL or something and I just make an idiot out of myself... And would deaf people even want anything to do with someone hearing? If any of this was offensive or ignorant then I deeply apologize, I just truly don't know. Thanks for any advice, I really appreciate it!
 
Grow a pair and say Hi !

Im sure whatever you want to say to her the terp will sign it to her, its their job, But when has it been a sin to make a friend?
 
What sonocato said. Plus, the whole idea of sign language is to get a point across. You do not have to be perfect. I certainly am not. You can even try to act things out. No matter how silly you look signing, she will dig (hopefully) that you are at least trying. And, make sure you have a pen and paper handy incase all else fails. Good luck.
 
sonocativo said:
Grow a pair and say Hi !

Im sure whatever you want to say to her the terp will sign it to her, its their job, But when has it been a sin to make a friend?
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Thanks! You're right, I just need to grow a pair, maybe I'm my own worst enemy lol. Thanks for the advice!
 
Just act it out , do a Charlie Chaplin impersonation ( silent films) be funny she will understand and love the humor. just point back and forth to you and her, tuck your arm, walk a bit, act like youre eating...she will get the idea for a date...lol
 
Cappy said:
What sonocato said. Plus, the whole idea of sign language is to get a point across. You do not have to be perfect. I certainly am not. You can even try to act things out. No matter how silly you look signing, she will dig (hopefully) that you are at least trying. And, make sure you have a pen and paper handy incase all else fails. Good luck.
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Awesome, I'll try my best then. I guess I never really looked at it that way before. Thanks a lot!
 
I'm not a lovelorn columnist or romance advisor but I did work several years as an interpreter for college classes. Using an interpreter may seem awkward at first but it's not hard. I've interpreted between student introductions and other social interactions, no problem. Terps are supposed to be discreet about confidential conversations.

I've also noticed that a brief, friendly, neatly handwritten note goes a long way. Just starting with a short "Hi, my name is Taylor. Welcome to art class" note and a smile (with eye contact) never hurt.

If you do start signing to her, keep it brief and simple to start with. Again, a simple greeting, "Hi, I'm Taylor." Be up front with her to let her know that you're only a beginner, and don't try to fake understanding her signs if you don't.

Now, only use the above suggestions if you want to meet the girl for who she is as a person; not just because she's an exotic Deafling. She will sense your sincerity or lack thereof.
 
sonocativo said:
Just act it out , do a Charlie Chaplin impersonation ( silent films) be funny she will understand and love the humor. just point back and forth to you and her, tuck your arm, walk a bit, act like youre eating...she will get the idea for a date...lol
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Good grief! Did that act work for you in getting a date? :lol:
 
Reba said:
Good grief! Did that act work for you in getting a date? :lol:
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You can only imagine the things I did...lol
My mom says Im a barrel of monkeys and never a dull moment around me....lol
Women love humor, but also like seriousness when its time to be serious. Make them laugh and they will remember you, but cautioned, that can go either way.
 
Hey, sonocativo, you been messing with peyote again? J/K. Humour is an excellent ice breaker. Sorry, for going off topic, Taylor73.
 
The Charli Chaplin if you do that I personally slap person who did that to me..Mike you said girls love humour worlds moved on bit since old Charli.
not easy at 18 I realise and you being a boy etc write note if you feel awkward.Difficult but bit of manning up...read Reba post good advice Charli Chaplin not so good
 
Man use your imagination ! You're an art major you can draw a funny cartoon asking her out for some coffee or something . Use our art work to break the ice .
 
Thanks so much for all the help anyone! I guess one of my problems is that I'm just over-thinking it; as the person in the video sonocativo posted, she's just a normal person like anyone else, I guess I let myself get too preoccupied about her deafness. I already have difficulty communicating with people, I guess I was just trying to use this as an excuse not to try.
As for Reba's concern, I was interested in her as a person before I even knew she was deaf. Sometimes you just get a certain vibe from someone, like they're something special. Even if I don't end up dating her or whatever, as someone said earlier, its never a sin to make a new friend. I guess I'll try my best at signing an introduction, I can ask if I can sit next to her, and then I'll just suck it up and go through the terp or pull out a pen. If we do end up becoming friends, Ill keep trying to learn ASL. As for humor, well, hope she likes cheesy jokes..lol. I guess I'll give it my best shot. Sorry for bothering everyone, and thanks for all the advice; you all really boosted my confidence! I have the class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I can always reply back here as to how it works out. Thanks again!
 
whatdidyousay! said:
Man use your imagination ! You're an art major you can draw a funny cartoon asking her out for some coffee or something . Use our art work to break the ice .
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Love that idea! I'm sorta weird and awkward, my art is really the only that saves me!
 
Hey, Taylor73, since you mentioned it, we all like cheesy jokes. lets hear (pun intended) your best one? You at least owe us that. :)
 
Come lads Mike cappy at 18 how big we're your nads give him slack..at 18 a boy may be able to stand to attention just got march a bit.So saying man up I apologise for saying that but 18 difficult age with collage leaving home etc but just take it on board she feels the same but she will proberly get to point quickly she not being rude people born deaf often blunt have to be
 
Cappy said:
Hey, Taylor73, since you mentioned it, we all like cheesy jokes. lets hear (pun intended) your best one? You at least owe us that. :)
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Well, you may have heard em before, but these are painfully cheesy, so don't read any further if you're lactose intolerant

Why did a belt walk into the bar?

..to get waisted...

Why don't ghosts drink beer?

...it goes right through them...

Why did Waldo go to therapy?

...to find himself...

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

...a fsh...

On second thought, maybe these aren't a great idea...I'll just show myself out...
This is why I don't have friends lol, I've memorized hundreds of em...
 
Taylor73 said:
Well, you may have heard em before, but these are painfully cheesy, so don't read any further if you're lactose intolerant

Why did a belt walk into the bar?

..to get waisted...

Why don't ghosts drink beer?

...it goes right through them...

Why did Waldo go to therapy?

...to find himself...

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

...a fsh...

On second thought, maybe these aren't a great idea...I'll just show myself out...
This is why I don't have friends lol, I've memorized hundreds of em...
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Those great! Thanks for the laffs. I have one that I can remember:

Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
A: Burger King forgot to wrap his Whopper.
 
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