|01-23-2007, 01:34 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Feb 2005
Recall Notice !!!
The Maker of human beings is hereby recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central components of the operating device. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code (work title "Adam"), resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal Negation", commonly abbreviated as SIN. Some of the symptoms caused by this defect are as follows:
loss of direction
foul vocal emissions
amnesia of origin
selfish or violent behaviour
depression or confusion in the mental
fear or rebellion
The list is incomplete and will be upgraded as research goes on.
The manufacturer out of courtesy has appointed a global agent for factory authorized repair and service FREE OF CHARGE to correct any SIN-related defects. The number to call for repair in al! areas of the world is P-R-A-Y-E-R by using the letters on your digital phone and the technician will guide you through the procedure called REPENTANCE.
During this process you will be asked to download a program called "atonement" into the heart component sponsored by the manufacturer's chief technician Jesus. No matter how big or small the SIN-defect is the atonement-program will repair it resulting into 9 symptoms which in some cases will not be distributed equally: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control.
The manufacturer also issued an operating manual, especially for the time after the recall repairs, for further details on the use of these fixes. The manual is called BIBLE standing for "Believers Instructions Before Leaving Earth" copies of which are available in all major languages. As an added upgrade the manufacturer installed a 24 h-hotline to all repaired units enabling direct monitoring and assistance from a resident technician called Holy Ghost. Repaired units may also require permanent residence on their premises.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without the recall correction voids any manufacturers warranties. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
All units not responding to the recall action will have to be scrapped in a furnace to ensure that the SIN-defect cannot enter heaven to prevent contamination of that facility.
Please spread the Recall Notice to as many human beings as you know to secure a lasting future and service.
By Christian Outreach Ministries
( Ray & Rhona Oosthuis )