A Deafie's Pet Peeve About Living Among The Hearies

This isn't a pet peeve, but a hearie phrase that sometimes backfires on 'em:

I was in line to checkout at a grocery store. Unknown to me, a clerk several registers away was calling to me to come to her empty register. I'm usually more alert, but this time I was lost going over my grocery list.

Obviously frustrated, the clerk who wanted me to change lines tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned to look at her, her eyes were rolling, and she asked, "Are you deaf?"

She was being sarcastic, but when I said, "Yes, I am" and signed Yes-deaf-me. She got the funniest look on her face and turned bright red.

She must have been very loud 'cause the manager came and apologized to me.
 
Chase said:
This isn't a pet peeve, but a hearie phrase that sometimes backfires on 'em:

I was in line to checkout at a grocery store. Unknown to me, a clerk several registers away was calling to me to come to her empty register. I'm usually more alert, but this time I was lost going over my grocery list.

Obviously frustrated, the clerk who wanted me to change lines tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned to look at her, her eyes were rolling, and she asked, "Are you deaf?"

She was being sarcastic, but when I said, "Yes, I am" and signed Yes-deaf-me. She got the funniest look on her face and turned bright red.

She must have been very loud 'cause the manager came and apologized to me.
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OMG! I bet her face bright red, this happen to me at grocery stores all the time a new register will open up and call for the next person in line and that will be me.
Sometime the person behind will tell me ,they realize I am HOH and can't hear but most of the time the people behind will go to the register .
The manger should of had the woman apologized to you too.
 
Rolling eyes at somebody is very rude in any situation. I hope she was reprimanded, too.

Fuzzy
 
This one may be silly but, I take offense when they look away/turns their back on me when I am talking. I take that act as they if are not interested in what I have to say, even tho they can hear with their face turned. I just stop talking til they resume looking at me. I guess that comes from me being a lip-reader and I know for a fact you cannot read lips looking away!

Anyone else do what I do?
 
I totally do. I stop talking too. They're just being rude at this point - I agree that it doesn't matter that they can still hear me. It's still rude. So I make them turn their attention back to me. I didn't realize this happens to other deafies too.
 
Yep, I do the same. It is very frustrating to have someone turn away. I also worry that if I keep talking when to their back they will forget that I can't hear and will respond without turning around. It one reason I talk less and less when away from home.
 
Ok someone please define what you consider looking away...

Had a discussion with my husband on this exact topic last night.

He was practising sign with me, and then he just looked away to grab some nut, No drama since it wasnt for long. So I go off ranting he shouldnt do that with d/Deaf people. Admitted my sentence was finished :p

So where is the line?
 
Well, it sure is nice to know that I am not alone in this. It could be said that they are not aware of their actions, since they can hear. But, it just bothers me nonetheless.
 
A quick glance away is acceptable and normal. A long look in another direction, turning away or turning around is disengaging from the conversation.
 
I think most of us are referring to those who disengage from the conversation. I should be able to have a sip of my drink or grab some nuts too. That's totally ok. But when they turn away for no reason or to engage in conversation elsewhere then it's rude.
 
AlleyCat said:
I think most of us are referring to those who disengage from the conversation. I should be able to have a sip of my drink or grab some nuts too. That's totally ok. But when they turn away for no reason or to engage in conversation elsewhere then it's rude.
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I honestly prefer, me being a bit too rude to him, to him not having a clue that he's being rude...
 
Mieke said:
Ok someone please define what you consider looking away...

Had a discussion with my husband on this exact topic last night.

He was practising sign with me, and then he just looked away to grab some nut, No drama since it wasnt for long. So I go off ranting he shouldnt do that with d/Deaf people. Admitted my sentence was finished :p

So where is the line?
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Hmmm, something is rotten in the state of Denmark...
Exactly why were you peeved since you were finished? what was inappropriate in this particular situation?
should he have asked you whether you are finished for good before he reached for his nut? ;)

Fuzzy
 
Bit like the 'never mind' that was stated earlier in the thread, the 'Oh it doesn't matter / It wasn't important' is peeving to me... and all the usual not looking at me when they're talking, or shouting etc. Gah.

But what REALLY gets my goat is something that I have to stifle because it is often asked genuinely, and by people who KNOW that I've been deaf since birth.

'What's it like being deaf then?'

Seriously - how can you explain that if you've got no understanding of what its like to hear? I normally give them a light hearted answer along the lines of 'heyyy its great! You should try it sometime - Snoring husband? Pah. Crying babies on airplanes? *click* and the noise is gone (the amount of times I've been on the receiving end of some seriously filthy looks when I'm happily engrossed in my book or lightly snoozing! :dance2: )

If they persist and say 'No, really, what IS it like?!' I have to reiterate that I can't answer that question and give my stock sample reply - ''Look at that grass. Now do you think the green you're seeing is the same green that I'm seeing? Hmm? Think about that for a moment. Ha - that made you think didn't it?! Now try to explain to me why your colour green is different to mine.... you can't? Really? Now ask me again what is it like being deaf and you might see why that it is a little hard for me to explain to you having never experienced 'normal' hearing''

One thing I do find that hearing people can never understand nor appreciate is the blissful wonderful experience of total and absolute peaceful glorious silence. I occasionally, when I can, go for a day or two without wearing my hearing aids just to give my brain a rest - its heaven!
 
Only "a day or two?"
Nice post, but making a reply would make me lose my balance.
 
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