SteveMcGarrett

TORONTO (Reuters) - Spanking children can cause long-term developmental damage and may even lower a child's IQ, according to a new Canadian analysis that seeks to shift the ethical debate over corporal punishment into the medical sphere.

The study, published this week in the Canadian Medical Association Journal, reached its conclusion after examining 20 years of published research on the issue. The authors say the medical finding have been largely overlooked and overshadowed by concerns that parents should have the right to determine how their children are disciplined.

While spanking is certainly not as widespread as it was 20 years ago, many still cling to the practice and see prohibiting spanking as limiting the rights of parents.

That point of view highlights the difficulty in changing hearts and minds on the issue, despite a mountain of accumulated evidence showing the damage physical punishment can have on a child, says Joan Durant, a professor at University of Manitoba and one of the authors of the study.

Spanking kids can cause long-term harm: Canada study

Thats why you cant spank your kids anymore,,Besides its against the law now. If you see anyone spanking a child anywhere just call the police! Even my pal Danny Williams almost made an arrest on an episode on five-0.

Deafness

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PowerON

It's misled.

I'm saying it's depend how much level the parents are give spanking on their kids. If it's very abuse then yes, it's high chance their kids become something you can't imagine.

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Steinhauer

Abuse is illegal, spanking is not.

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Once upon a time men could speak honestly and wisely and people would listen. Now it seems that propaganda is the preferred method of communication regardless if there is any truth behind it or not.

AlleyCat

Um.

Your pal on an episode?

You do know this is real life, and not a TV show?

Cheetah

True, but there is a fine line between spanking and abuse. I'm not sure there is consensus as to where that line is.

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frankiesmom

i have 7 children and i spanked them all. except for my poor francis, they are all honor roll students, and my oldest is in the navy.
i love my kids but sometimes you have to bust that ass!

kokonut

Yep...

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"... turns out they are telling the truth."

Steinhauer

The only time I was spanked was when I showed flat out disrespect or I lied. I was grounded when I wouldn't complete chores or didn't do homework.

I didn't turn into a pimp, a hooker, or a stripper.

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Once upon a time men could speak honestly and wisely and people would listen. Now it seems that propaganda is the preferred method of communication regardless if there is any truth behind it or not.

JabberJay

My life is pretty much the same, and I would like to argue that possibly people who were spanked have a higher IQ and common sense!
A lot of the kids I graduated with weren't spanked. Out of everyone the kids who were spanked accomplished more than the ones who weren't. But that's a very small sample size of 33 kids. we're all 24 this year and this is where we ended up.

25 spanked as kids => all college or other forms of post secondary education. 1 while with child and is due this march. 3 married and 4 engaged. 20 have good jobs, 3 are in university still, 2 are out of work with previous good jobs. 2 still living with parents.

8 not spanked=> 3 with kids a year after highschool, 5 still living with parents , 2 in jail for domestic abuse, 7 never went to college or any post secondary education. 4 married, 1 is a single drug addicted mother of 3 girls with different fathers and no clue which daddys are the real ones.

My views are heavily influenced by personal experience.

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DeafCaroline

Ok everybody, spank the heck out of your kids so they'll have a high IQ. Heck, beat the crap out of them and they'll be geniuses.

JabberJay

there's a difference between a spanking and a beating.
One shouldn't hurt that much and the other is illegal and dangerious

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DeafCaroline

I think adults should only hit those their own size, not someone small and defenseless.

JabberJay

normally I would agree with you on that point but when everything else fails I would rather tap my kid on the ass than to have a brat who is out of control.

I would consider spanking a less of 2 evils.

edit, either that or send them to army boot camp for the summer and prey that will straighten them out.

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DeafCaroline

Believe it or not, there are ways to discipline other than spanking. And they tend to be far more effective.

JabberJay

I would love to see them in action working. I too often see first hand the damage done by kids not taking the punishment seriously or the parents not following through on the punishment.

But I will honestly say I would try everything I could find first before spanking.

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DeafCaroline

They do work. My kids are very respectful, only acted like brats in public just once but I swiftly dealt with that, no spanking required, and they are doing very well in school.

Spanking is a sign of weakness on the parents' part.

JabberJay

I always thought that a misbehaving kid in public was a sign of weakness of the parent.

What ever works for your kids will work for your kids and even some other kids. I congratulate you on having well behaved kids, but each kid is different. The kid down the road may need a different form of punishment before he'll behave.

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sallylou

Wirelessly posted (droid)

It's not the best parenting practice. Parents resort to it out of ineffectiveness and frustration. Positive enforcement works. Some people use choke collars to train dogs but I use liver. Kids aren't dogs, of course, but kids respond better to positive reinforcement. If all a parent is doing is punishing bad behavior, they aren't teaching how to act. The kid just learns to avoid punishment. Most importantly, parents are role models for their kids. Kids learn to by watching parents. If you're having trouble with a kid, examine how you're contributing to the problem. Set your kid up for success. It works.

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JabberJay

How about using positive reinforcement with punishment as well?
I think kids should be praised for when they do well, but at the same time realizing that actions have real consequences. Some kids don't take time out seriously.

They get praise and such when they are good, like what is supposed to happen in the real world. And punishment for when they do bad, just like in the real world.

Parents are supposed to raise kids that can cope in the real world, why bubble wrap them so their first form of punishment is a failed college course or arrest? I would rather have them cry over the injustice of a childhood punishment than a criminal record.

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JabberJay

yeah a kid could be reacting to something the parents or environment is contributing to and it would be very beneficial to work with your kid to help them resolve the issue or learn to deal with the issue but sometimes that can't be done. The brain of a kid is not fully developed and sometimes they can't see reason.
Sometimes they only see what they want and the fact that they can't get it.

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Cheetah

I know someone that would take her kids to the mall (when they were very young). They only misbehaved once because when they misbehaved they got a time out right there in the mall and everyone that walked by turned to look at them sitting on the floor in a corner or by a post. They were embarrassed and hated the punishment so much they never wanted it to happen again. Worked so much better than a spanking would.

Sometimes we are limited by our own imagination. Learn what the kid loves and hates and use that to taylor a punishment for the kid. Each one will be a little different.

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JabberJay

I just watched a super nanny episode where she did that. Public time outs usually do work. I mean what kid wouldn't be embarrassed? It's possibly situational (sp?) as well. The public time out was probably more effective than a private one or a spanking because of the embarrassment factor. It very much is what the kid hates the most.

As a kid I didn't mind timeouts, they just didn't work on me because I would day dream through them, that's why my parents had to resort to spanking. Grounding didn't work either because I didn't see it as punishment, I would have spent that time home in my room anyways. (I wasn't the most outgoing kid) edit,: taking things away didn't help because I didn't have much to begin with. We were a dirt poor family
The only thing I did see as punishment was spanking. Not because it hurt, parents didn't hit hard enough to hurt, but because I was embarrassed that at (insert age here) I had to be spanked.

Do I think spanking should hurt? hell no! if there's a bruise then you hit too hard.
It's all about the kid hating it and in my case the embarrassing factor. If it hurts or leaves marks you are treading into abuse territory.

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sallylou

Wirelessly posted (droid)

Each kid has a "currency." Something he values and motivates him. Video games, computer access, social time, etc. For fighting, I charged both participants a fee, for my manicure to calm my frazzled nerves from their fighting, I told them. Highly effective!
In the real world, if you fail to work, your boss doesn't hit you. Assault and battery is a crime. You may lose your job and $. That's where the currency comes in. Fail to do your homework, lose your currency. Never out of proportion to the failure. The kid knows the consequences and makes a choice. Always give kids choices. Follow through with the consequences consistently. And remember to recognize and acknowledge positive behavior. It's really about the bond and the relationship with the kid. Don't wait for the teen years to "crack down" on the kid. It's easy to think that teens don't need as much time and care as small children, but the need adults more than ever. Just in a different way.

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JabberJay

*nope your boss fires you, but you can't fire your kids. odd thing is though I can't remember what I valued as currency. yeah I probably had one but for the life of me I can't remember what it was. up until age 15 when I got a job of my own, other than the clothes off my back and the food on my plate I can't remember having anything to be taken away.
What happens when there's nothing left to take away?

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JabberJay

some kids will continue to push until there is nothing left to take away, and that's when I start on the spanking.

Try everything else first, make sure to let them know when their being good and reward them for the good. (most parents forget to reward)
Start teaching early, and always warn them once before moving to punishment.

If they ask to be spanked or for a time out (yes I have seen this happen) you don't need to spank them, just talk to them about why they want to be punished. Chances are they feel bad for what they did. I like lighter punishments for those who confess and work with you to solve a problem. Some sort of punishment should still happen but not as harsh. If they think they'll get off scott free by confessing each time then they think they found a loop hole, they'll keep doing it.

Honestly if a time out works on a kid then that kid will never need any harsher.
I even know a kid who doesn't need time outs, just the feeling of guilt send this kid into crying fits. That kid needs help to deal with guilt better but doesn't need time out because what she does to herself is bad enough.

Each and every kid if different

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DeafCaroline

If you had to resort to spanking because nothing else you did worked, you're making your kid pay for your own shortcomings and bad temper and lack of control.

My kids misbehaved in public only once. It never happened again. Before I took them out to a restaurant, I explained to them exactly what kind of behaviour I expected from them. I don't just say "be good" I explain exactly what being good means - sitting quietly, playing nicely, asking for something nicely instead of whining or fussing. I also explained to them that if they failed to follow those rules and misbehave, that we will leave the restaurant immediately.

We went to the restaurant, they got into a loud whiny fight. I immediately asked the waiter to box up our food and bring me the bill. We left immediately.

They never misbehaved in public again, it meant too much to them to go out for a nice brunch at a restaurant to risk losing that privilege again.

Another time, we were on the highway going to my parents' house. they were fighting so much in the car that I warned them if they didn't quit, I would pull over and not move another inch till they quieted down. They didn't listen. I pulled over and told them the longer they fought, the longer it will take to get to grandma and grandpa's house. They didn't like that at all because it's a 2 hour drive. They kept fussing. I ignored them for I don't repeat warnings. They realized I was not kidding. We were going to stay right there on the highway feeling our little car getting buffeted scarily by every passing truck. They piped down within 10 minutes and never fought again in the car. Ever.

One does not need spanking if they enforce consequences for bad behaviour. Those who spank are the ones who are failing at more mature adult forms of discipline.

JabberJay

One should never spank when overly mad or frustrated, that would be almost a guarantee that you would hurt someone. Spanking should only be done by a calm person without a bad temper, and if you don't have control over yourself you shouldn't have a kid.

If I had to resort to spanking that would mean that the other consequences were not taken seriously by the kid and changes had to be made.

How is my kid not taking time out seriously my short coming if I follow through and am constant with it?

Yeah I believe that kids will turn out certain ways based on their parents actions, but not solely on the parents actions, unless you have a bubble kid. Peer pressure, other authority figures, strangers actions ect. Every interaction a kid has will shape his or her personality and if she learns from others that time outs aren't a big deal and therefore isn't a punishment anymore, then why continue to use it? you're only allowing the kid to continue with a bad behavior with minimal consequence. I have been told out right by kids. "Big woop I get to go to the corner." right before walking straight to the corner. That kid didn't care that they were getting a time out, and actually repeated the action that earned them the time out 5 minutes after being told that they could come out of time out.

Spanking is the last resort that most parents shouldn't want to do but have to because their kid is making the choice to misbehave despite the other consequences. It shouldn't be done by everyone because not everyone is capable of doing it without physically hurting the kid.

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KarissaMann05

My aunt told me that she'd rather go to jail for spanking her sons than seeing them in jail if she don't do spanking.

DeafCaroline

If spanking actually works, then why do parents do it more than once? and in fact, do it regularly? clearly it's not working, all one achieves is the child being afraid of their parents inflicting pain on them.

DeafCaroline

Ok, so does that mean everytime you said or behaved in a way I don't approve, I get to hit you? And it's perfectly acceptable?