Spanking kids can cause long-term harm: Canada study - Page 3

**TXgolfer** · 02-12-2012, 01:32 AM

Well what I got as a kid went far beyond spanking, Think jeans drying into scabs.....the spanking that keeps on giving. I can't say that I am any worse off because of it.....but I can't say I see the purpose of it either. I never spanked mine, I always found other ways to get my point across. I see other people kids flinch before they ever get hit. I didn't want my kid to have that kind of fear of me. Just my 2 cents.

messymama · 02-12-2012, 02:16 AM

For what it can mean, I've never been spanked or grounded or anything. And I'm not a serial killer...

The trick was, my dad was so adorable I couldn't ever do anything to displease him. He was always there, understanding, proud of me, ready to help me and listen to me. Even today, if I do something wrong, he would help me find out a way to put back things together, always on my side.

I feel fully accepted and I never needed to do foolish things to have his attention, because I had it. So no "gimme gimme", I don't need much stuff to be happy even now.

I can't speak for others, but I think it's surely possible to grow up decent children without spanking them, at least that's what my experience is. My kids at the moment are more fussy than I was, especially the girl (she's all like her father!!), but they're still growing up respectful and lovely, and very independent too.

kokonut · 02-12-2012, 02:23 AM

And there are kids who have gotten spanked grow up into decent adults and parents.

messymama · 02-12-2012, 02:32 AM

Yes, my husband is one of them.

Yet I'm glad I wasn't in his place

Steinhauer · 02-12-2012, 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXgolfer

Well what I got as a kid went far beyond spanking, Think jeans drying into scabs.....the spanking that keeps on giving. I can't say that I am any worse off because of it.....but I can't say I see the purpose of it either. I never spanked mine, I always found other ways to get my point across. I see other people kids flinch before they ever get hit. I didn't want my kid to have that kind of fear of me. Just my 2 cents.

For what its worth, you were abused, not spanked. No excuse for you to have had scabs and I am sorry that happened to you.

DeafCaroline · 02-12-2012, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steinhauer

Spanking isn't abuse. Not spanking is abuse and neglectful.

You are actually saying if parents don't spank their kids, they're being abusive and neglectful?

That's ****ed up. You are really sick in the head if you believe that. Holy shit. I dearly hope you don't have any children.

**Beowulf** · 02-12-2012, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kokonut

And there are kids who have gotten spanked grow up into decent adults and parents.

The same can be said of torture victims. Your point is?

DeafCaroline · 02-12-2012, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beowulf

The same can be said of torture victims. Your point is?

I guess his point is hitting little kids is ok. Not surprised.

whatdidyousay! · 02-12-2012, 11:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeafCaroline

Ok everybody, spank the heck out of your kids so they'll have a high IQ. Heck, beat the crap out of them and they'll be geniuses.

In that case I should a real genius as my dad hit me and threw objects as a child!

kokonut · 02-12-2012, 11:24 AM

When done properly there are certain circumstances that would warrant a spanking.

**Banjo** · 02-12-2012, 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kokonut

When done properly there are certain circumstances that would warrant a spanking.

How is it done properly?

whatdidyousay! · 02-12-2012, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banjo

How is it done properly?

I would love to know this too! I never knew there was a proper way to get spanked or hit! Do you put on your best clothes and have some background music before spanking your child ??

DeafCaroline · 02-12-2012, 12:03 PM

There are many studies that have linked increased aggression in adults who were spanked as children:

"spanking remained a strong predictor of violent behavior. "The odds of a child being more aggressive at age 5 increased by 50% if he had been spanked more than twice in the month before the study began," says Taylor.

...As 5-year-olds, the children who had been spanked were more likely than the nonspanked to be defiant, demand immediate satisfaction of their wants and needs, become frustrated easily, have temper tantrums and lash out physically against other people or animals."

Read more: The Long-Term Effects of Spanking - TIME

**deafskeptic** · 02-12-2012, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steinhauer

The only time I was spanked was when I showed flat out disrespect or I lied. I was grounded when I wouldn't complete chores or didn't do homework.

I didn't turn into a pimp, a hooker, or a stripper.

You did turn into a pro nazi kind guy according to many on this forum.

kokonut · 02-12-2012, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banjo

How is it done properly?

Non-abusively.

**Banjo** · 02-12-2012, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kokonut

Non-abusively.

What is considered not abuse and what is?

kokonut · 02-12-2012, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Banjo

What is considered not abuse and what is?

Non-abusively is done in a prompt, rationale, and non-explosive manner.

**Banjo** · 02-12-2012, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kokonut

Non-abusively is done in a prompt, rationale, and non-explosive manner.

Do you have a demonstration of it?

**KristinaB** · 02-12-2012, 12:47 PM

Okay - I was spanked with hand and once with a razor-strop. My brothers got it a lot more than me. I learned from their mistakes. Fast forward, brothers and I are now all married and we each have 2 children. Oldest brother used no discipline with his kids at all. His kids are rude and expect things to be done for them. Brother #2, used spanking with a belt and yard stick and was a strict disciplinarian with his kids. They now hate him and are very angry at life. They do say that the reason for their hatred is his past drinking problems since he used to be a heavy drinker, but is dry now (5-6 years). I spanked lightly, but mostly used the "Love and Logic" principle and also grounded and took away favorites and privileges. My kids have a great respect for me. They have their manners and are very helpful to others. They understand when they do wrong and are very quick to apologize and rectify the situation.

I know in Missouri, I had a neighbor call DFS since she thought I was abusing my daughter for spanking. DFS said, spanking is okay as long as no red mark is there after 1 hour. If it's still there after 1 hour, then it is borderline abuse. Then, this neighbor called DFS again as she heard my daughter screaming "bloody-blue murder" and thought I was beating her. Well, it was the usual battle of the bathtub. Daughter had a fear of the tub. She screamed and acted like a cat being dunked in a toilet. I had no charges filed against me and this neighbor was told to not call DFS again as she was the one with a record with them.

Steinhauer · 02-12-2012, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeafCaroline

You are actually saying if parents don't spank their kids, they're being abusive and neglectful?

That's ****ed up. You are really sick in the head if you believe that. Holy shit. I dearly hope you don't have any children.

That is exactly what I am saying and I hope you don't have children. if a child is disobedient at an early age and you do not spank them, that is a disservice to them and a disservice to the community. They will grow up and be an absolute unbearable person to deal with - much like you and your "superiority" complex on many issues.

Steinhauer · 02-12-2012, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafskeptic

You did turn into a pro nazi kind guy according to many on this forum.

Reading comprehension is not a strong suit for many on this forum.

DeafCaroline · 02-12-2012, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steinhauer

That is exactly what I am saying and I hope you don't have children. if a child is disobedient at an early age and you do not spank them, that is a disservice to them and a disservice to the community. They will grow up and be an absolute unbearable person to deal with - much like you and your "superiority" complex on many issues.

You are actually saying if one doesn't hit their kids, they are doing a disservice to the community and their kids will grow up to be assholes.

You are a sick sick man.

Steinhauer · 02-12-2012, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeafCaroline

You are actually saying if one doesn't hit their kids, they are doing a disservice to the community and their kids will grow up to be assholes.

You are a sick sick man.

Yes, that is exactly what I am saying - and you are a sick woman that shouldn't be anywhere near a child if you think differently. You will just breed bratty spoiled kids that will grow up to be just like you.

research proves it too:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/he...udy-finds.html

Quote:

A study found that youngsters smacked up to the age of six did better at school and were more optimistic about their lives than those never hit by their parents.

They were also more likely to undertake voluntary work and keener to attend university, experts discovered.

The research, conducted in the United States, is likely to anger children’s rights campaigners who have unsuccessfully fought to ban smacking in Britain.

Currently, parents are allowed by law to mete out "reasonable chastisement'' on their children, providing smacking does not leave a mark or bruise. These limits were clarified in the 2004 Children’s Act.

Amazon

DeafCaroline · 02-12-2012, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steinhauer

Yes, that is exactly what I am saying - and you are a sick woman that shouldn't be anywhere near a child if you think differently. You will just breed bratty spoiled kids that will grow up to be just like you.

I already have two full grown sons. They turned out very well, earning great grades in school, beautifully mannered and not at all spoiled.

And **** you too, asshole.

**Jiro** · 02-12-2012, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steinhauer

Yes, that is exactly what I am saying - and you are a sick woman that shouldn't be anywhere near a child if you think differently. You will just breed bratty spoiled kids that will grow up to be just like you.

uncalled for. you have never raised a child of your own so what do you know?

**Beowulf** · 02-12-2012, 01:42 PM

Steinhauer · 02-12-2012, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiro

uncalled for. you have never raised a child of your own so what do you know?

It was called for. When anyone resorts to insults to elevate their argument, I will throw it right back in their face.

And yiour making a value judgement based on inaccurate information - how do you know I never raised any children? that is inaccurate as well as just completely false.

Steinhauer · 02-12-2012, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeafCaroline

I already have two full grown sons. They turned out very well, earning great grades in school, beautifully mannered and not at all spoiled.

And **** you too, asshole.

Some children do not require spanking - others do. To turn this whole argument into trying to villify parents that spank their children into some sort of sick and twisted individuals will just only get more "**** You's" out of you from me

So when you get off your high and mighty horse and actually discuss facts - I will be waiting.

**Beowulf** · 02-12-2012, 01:47 PM

Here's an idea: three rounds with an unruly kid in Caesar's Palace. I get dibs on the popcorn sales.

**Jiro** · 02-12-2012, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steinhauer

Some children do not require spanking - others do. To turn this whole argument into trying to villify parents that spank their children into some sort of sick and twisted individuals will just only get more "**** You's" out of you from me

So when you get off your high and mighty horse and actually discuss facts - I will be waiting.

ah.... now you're admitting that some children do not require spanking.

02-12-2012, 01:32 AM	#61 (permalink)
TXgolfer Dream Weaver Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Everywhere Posts: 17,594	Well what I got as a kid went far beyond spanking, Think jeans drying into scabs.....the spanking that keeps on giving. I can't say that I am any worse off because of it.....but I can't say I see the purpose of it either. I never spanked mine, I always found other ways to get my point across. I see other people kids flinch before they ever get hit. I didn't want my kid to have that kind of fear of me. Just my 2 cents. sallylou likes this. __________________ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21 Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

02-12-2012, 02:16 AM	#62 (permalink)
messymama Registered User Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: italy Posts: 112	For what it can mean, I've never been spanked or grounded or anything. And I'm not a serial killer... The trick was, my dad was so adorable I couldn't ever do anything to displease him. He was always there, understanding, proud of me, ready to help me and listen to me. Even today, if I do something wrong, he would help me find out a way to put back things together, always on my side. I feel fully accepted and I never needed to do foolish things to have his attention, because I had it. So no "gimme gimme", I don't need much stuff to be happy even now. I can't speak for others, but I think it's surely possible to grow up decent children without spanking them, at least that's what my experience is. My kids at the moment are more fussy than I was, especially the girl (she's all like her father!!), but they're still growing up respectful and lovely, and very independent too. __________________ Proud mum of two blessings: 5yo hearing girl and 3yo profoundly deaf boy

02-12-2012, 02:23 AM	#63 (permalink)
kokonut Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 15,348	And there are kids who have gotten spanked grow up into decent adults and parents. __________________ Before AD. After AD. "Restriction on free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us." -Thurgood Marshall, former Supreme Court Justice "... turns out they are telling the truth."

02-12-2012, 02:32 AM	#64 (permalink)
messymama Registered User Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: italy Posts: 112	Yes, my husband is one of them. Yet I'm glad I wasn't in his place __________________ Proud mum of two blessings: 5yo hearing girl and 3yo profoundly deaf boy

02-12-2012, 11:24 AM	#70 (permalink)
kokonut Registered User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 15,348	When done properly there are certain circumstances that would warrant a spanking. __________________ Before AD. After AD. "Restriction on free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us." -Thurgood Marshall, former Supreme Court Justice "... turns out they are telling the truth."

Today
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02-12-2012, 12:03 PM	#73 (permalink)
DeafCaroline Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 4,889	There are many studies that have linked increased aggression in adults who were spanked as children: "spanking remained a strong predictor of violent behavior. "The odds of a child being more aggressive at age 5 increased by 50% if he had been spanked more than twice in the month before the study began," says Taylor. ...As 5-year-olds, the children who had been spanked were more likely than the nonspanked to be defiant, demand immediate satisfaction of their wants and needs, become frustrated easily, have temper tantrums and lash out physically against other people or animals." Read more: The Long-Term Effects of Spanking - TIME sallylou likes this.

02-12-2012, 12:47 PM	#79 (permalink)
KristinaB New SDIT Deacon Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Land of the backstroke Posts: 13,768	Okay - I was spanked with hand and once with a razor-strop. My brothers got it a lot more than me. I learned from their mistakes. Fast forward, brothers and I are now all married and we each have 2 children. Oldest brother used no discipline with his kids at all. His kids are rude and expect things to be done for them. Brother #2, used spanking with a belt and yard stick and was a strict disciplinarian with his kids. They now hate him and are very angry at life. They do say that the reason for their hatred is his past drinking problems since he used to be a heavy drinker, but is dry now (5-6 years). I spanked lightly, but mostly used the "Love and Logic" principle and also grounded and took away favorites and privileges. My kids have a great respect for me. They have their manners and are very helpful to others. They understand when they do wrong and are very quick to apologize and rectify the situation. I know in Missouri, I had a neighbor call DFS since she thought I was abusing my daughter for spanking. DFS said, spanking is okay as long as no red mark is there after 1 hour. If it's still there after 1 hour, then it is borderline abuse. Then, this neighbor called DFS again as she heard my daughter screaming "bloody-blue murder" and thought I was beating her. Well, it was the usual battle of the bathtub. Daughter had a fear of the tub. She screamed and acted like a cat being dunked in a toilet. I had no charges filed against me and this neighbor was told to not call DFS again as she was the one with a record with them. __________________ Taking life one day at a time.

02-12-2012, 01:42 PM	#86 (permalink)
Beowulf Premium Member Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 10,514	__________________ .

02-12-2012, 01:47 PM	#89 (permalink)
Beowulf Premium Member Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 10,514	Here's an idea: three rounds with an unruly kid in Caesar's Palace. I get dibs on the popcorn sales. __________________ .

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