JabberJay

and that's how I feel.

If a person has kids that can be managed through time outs and bribery then awesome. Your kids are doing great! Keep up the good work and I hope for you continuing success.
But for the few cases where the kid doesn't take those consequences seriously, the parents already should feel like shit having to take things further. The people who argue and yell at them just make it worse by invalidating their efforts to try and raise a kid who won't murder someone.

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Deafness

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KarissaMann05

Why do you really think spanking is so abusive? Spank them once or twice is not really that bad. If it is repeatedly spanking, then yes, it would consider as abuse. Well, let make spanking illegal by then, so all parents, who spanked their kids, can just go to jail, anyway.

I suppose that would work, isn't it?

JabberJay

If I hit you or done something that warranted being hit then go right for it. I'm all open, I'll even bend over the chair for you.

But for rude words or minor bad behavior there are more creative ways of dealing with it.

Spanking should be done less than 3 times the kids entire life.
If it's done more, than either the parent is too strict, abusive (look for injuries), or the kid has mental problems that need to be addressed (short term memory issues, learning disabilities ect.) but those issues should be found before hand if you're attentive to your kid and then you know not to spank.

A proper spanking should not hurt or leave marks. It should be used as a embarrassing punishment that makes the kid realize that what they did was unacceptable.
paddles, belts and the like are not meant for spanking, those are abuse.

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KarissaMann05

If you spank your kids, to anti-spanking people, you're a terrible parent. End of story. So, don't surprise if they try to make you feel so bad enough for spanking your own kids.

JabberJay

after the first time or two the kid usually doesn't push far enough to get spanked anymore. They know you will go through with it and will usually stop at a warning.

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DeafCaroline

Not true. they only stop if they know you will really hurt them. they will not stop just because of a minor spanking.

DeafCaroline

So you're saying it's ok to hit defenseless people who are less than half your size? I see.

JabberJay

I know but I have to stand up anyways. I want to raise a responsible kid, not one who thinks they can get away with anything with minimal and tolerable consequence. That's where the "gimme gimme" and "I can do no wrong" generation is coming from.

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DeafCaroline

Basically what you are saying is that spanking is the only effective form of disclipine because if you don't spank, your child will be out of control and "gimme gimme gimme".

Children are only out of control if their parents do not carry out the consequences for bad behaviour. Spanking is not required to enforce a consequence.

JabberJay

Go back and read what I said in multiple posts. Spanking should not hurt or leave marks. When you learn to read I will continue this discussion with you.

And the warning is there first to give them the choice between consequence and no consequence.

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DeafCaroline

I know how to read. You evidently don't know how to parent effectively without resorting to physical abuse.

JabberJay

no again read, time outs and the rest are ok if they work. But many parents don't even follow through with that.

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JabberJay

I give up, I hate it when words and ideas are twisted. Have it your way.

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KarissaMann05

Give me a break. Spank once or twice is not abusive at all.

You can think my aunt is nothing but damn bitch. You can think she's stupid ass for spanking her sons. You can think how much awful she is. Anything you want to think of her, whatever. Yes, I insult her for you; I mocked her to make your satisfy is good enough. So, I'll see how much you like it, eh.

Seriously. Spanking do work, sometimes. Without spanking is not always effective.

DeafCaroline

I didn't say a word about your aunt. You did.

DeafCaroline

You said you will resort to spanking if you failed at other forms of discipline. I didn't twist anything at all - i just repeated back to you what you yourself said. All I am saying is that spanking is actually not necessary and 2, hitting a person is considered abuse. Spanking is abuse. Sorry if you don't like hearing the truth.

JabberJay

Don't fall into the trap, people who so strongly believe they are right will never stop.
This is how wars are started, people get hurt in the past by an extreme form and want to ban everything that even resembles the form.
Or they were oppressed once and now even though they are the majority they still play the oppressed card because it gets them what they want. A reaction.

They will twist words by saying what they interpret in their own point of view just to make themselves right

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KarissaMann05

It's not matter what you say or not. I found this is ridiculous that anti-spanking people scold parents for their different ways.

DeafCaroline

Oh brother. So this is how you react to someone telling you that hitting a small child is wrong. By equating them as those who were oppressed and now want to start wars due to extremism. you've gotta be kidding me.

DeafCaroline

I am against abuse. Yes. Sorry if you don't like if someone is not going to support your belief that it's ok to hit small children who cannot defend themselves.

KarissaMann05

No. You clearly don't respect parents who believe in spanking. Even it is just light spanking, you still consider it is abuse.

If they feel spanking is work, great. If they don't want to spank kids, great. Each way is different. To make spanking illegal is not going to solve anything at all.

JabberJay

Hey KarissaMann
Just to compare notes and shed light on the situation. What do you consider a spanking offense? a time out offense? a grounding? removal of toys or other things? extra chores? a stern talking to?

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kokonut

Spanking does not necessarily mean it's abuse. Nor does it mean it'll lead to psychological scarring. It depends on the context of the situation and the kind of spanking involved that may be needed. I wouldn't rule it out completely. I can see in certain circumstances when it would be necessary.

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After AD.

"Restriction on free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us."
-Thurgood Marshall, former Supreme Court Justice


"... turns out they are telling the truth."

JabberJay

yeah spanking a child is for a severe offence that can't happen again. It's not a punishment used for dealing with rude behavior or undone school work. More for attempting to burn the house down or biting your siblings finger off.
you know the big things

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frankiesmom

KristinaB

Not - Gonna - Go - There.

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Taking life one day at a time.

Steinhauer

Spanking isn't abuse. Not spanking is abuse and neglectful.

Jiro

correct.

incorrect.

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rockin'robin

Wow....most of you know that I have 3 boys, am a female and a single parent.

As for spanking my boys when they were, say ages 6-8...yes I did whenever it was warrantied. I always talked to them "first" about any infraction...such as not looking whenever they crossed the street, etc. The youngest was very hyper....could not sit still and always "ran" and not walked....I never, ever beat the crap out of them, tho', and left no marks. Just a swat on the hinney....maybe 2 or 3 if that's what needed to be done.

As they got older, ages 8 and beyond, it was grounding, no more spankings. And it's worked for me. I've also noticed that many African Black mothers, their kids are very well-behaved in grocery stores, etc.!...moreso than white kids.

I would not tolerate any disrespect from my boys and I made that evident to them.

kokonut

Just as I said, there are certain circumstances that would warrant a spanking.

__________________
Before AD.

After AD.

"Restriction on free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us."
-Thurgood Marshall, former Supreme Court Justice


"... turns out they are telling the truth."