RachelRene

When my son was born, I was pretty isolated. Tiny town in Montana, no deaf connections, and a family who has always not only been unsupportive of my hearing loss but actually denies that it exists. I had planned on him being bilingual--I'd sign with him, he'd get his English from my family... but that didn't happen, mostly because my family was SO against me even doing basic signing with him, and partly because I've fallen out of practice and am no longer fluent.

So my son (who's turning three next week!) signs a little, and has from the time he was 8 months. But it's very basic... more, milk, play, please, thank you, ni-night... he's got most of his animals down, and several food signs. But that's it. And I've noticed if other kids are around, he doesn't sign. And if it's more than just me around, he doesn't sign. (Probably because I don't, either.)

I am told more and more by the hearing people around me that J isn't talking. He chatters. He has maybe 50 english words, which are really hard to understand if you don't know him (except "Mommy" he's got that *down*). I took him to a free speech screening yesterday, and I expected to be told that he's a boy, he's fine. Instead, he scored very very low on language development (mostly expressive, although he's a little behind in the receptive tests as well). Good news is otherwise, he's great developmentally.

The next step is to get his hearing tested, and then they want to do a full assessment. The waiting list even for the hearing test is 7-10 months, though--eek! I'm hoping to find somewhere else that will test him before then... but in the meantime..

It's clear there's a problem, and he needs full access to language. He needs to learn ASL anyway, for me... but I speak to him, mostly, and sign a little as support ("Do you want more milk?" as I sign more milk). I don't know how to transition from that to full ASL. He doesn't understand me if I don't use voice too. I'm trying to get together with other signing kids in the area, but it's been almost impossible w/o having a car, and working so much.

I was hoping you'd have some advice, some support, and maybe some feedback. I can't help but feel guilty because I haven't been signing fully from day one, and because I feel like he's maybe behind on his speech because of my hearing issues. (Oh, parenting guilt, isn't it grand?) Also... if anyone knows of a place that will test a 3 year old in Ottawa, that would be awesome.

Deafness

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Bottesini

My younger daughter had major problems with speech as I was her model . We were far away from relatives when our kids were growing up.

She needed speech therapy, but she is fine as an adult. This is really pretty common.

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DeafCaroline

Well, I am thinking about hearing kids of deaf parents. CODAs...I subscribe to the CODA brothers on youtube - they said they didn't learn to speak until they started school, that it was pretty much ASL only from birth till kindergarten. They turned out fine

One thing for sure, he does need to learn a language fluently, whether it's in ASL or English.

Get in touch with Robillard - they were my audiologist when I lived in Ottawa - excellent professionals. It's very unsual to wait 7 months for a test unless you got an appointment with a hospital instead of a private audiologist (and p.s. yes, it's free, it's covered by healthcare). The one I went to was on McArthur avenue, in Vanier. PM me to get my full name so you can tell Robillard who recommended you

Jazzberry

I don't have any suggestions for how to speed up getting an audiogram. 7 - 10 month wait, that sounds so frustrating.

Hmm, actually I just thought of something. When I was in grade school my parents could not afford private speech therapy for me. However, we lived near a college and we had an arrangement where I got my hearing tested by an audiology student who needed the practice in exhchange for speech lessons by another student who also needed the practice. I think I did this once or twice a week.

In theory that sounds good, in execution it was awful but I believe that was because it was managed very poorly by all of the adults involved. Also, expecting me to be repeatedly tested every week (or twice a week?) was not realistic. Kids sense of time is very different than adults.

Still maybe one of the colleges or univerisites have a similar program that is more realistic and better managed and that might be a way for you to get your son tested sooner. However, I would make sure that the audiogram was supervised closely by a professional with credentials and also observe the testing yourself if possible. I would not rely solely on a student's evaluation.

ETA: I just saw DeafCaroline's post -- I like her suggestion a lot better!

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As for the "speech modeling" that Bottesini mentioned -- how much time does your son spend with other people who are hearing?

RachelRene

Thank you! And I *adore* the CODA brothers!

I went to a hearing aid event today, and I may have met Robillard. Or maybe the guy I talked to mentioned him. I'll PM you.

I'm not covered on healthcare yet because I'm still on temporary visa... which stinks.

I think because I'm just beginning to accept my deafness, I'm just beginning to accept that J is CODA. I also thought that since my speech is great, undistinguishable to most (little bit of an accent), and he has so many hearing people talking to him and giving him feedback, that he'd be different.

Do you worry about your kids being CODA's?

DeafCaroline

I used to worry about them coping with me when they were young for I'm a single mother who didn't have much of an income for a long time and very very little support which naturally meant there were some very stressful times for us all but I never worried about them having a deaf mother. Only about them growing up with an impoverished stressed out single mother.

shel90

I know so many CODAs (adults now)...most of them are fine. No languge or speech problems. My 5 year old son is fluent both in ASL and English. He had speech delays but now, he can talk endlessly using English no problem.

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rockin'robin

Some deaf parents enroll their hearing kids in pre-K and child care where they pick up the English language a lot faster (?)....

I can see it both ways. A Deaf child born to hearing parents not allowing that child ASL or being around others who sign and they fall behind....and the Deaf parent having a hearing child and not letting them interact with other hearing people....hence they become slow at speaking or don't speak at all...

Is that abuse? Not thinking what is in the best interest of ur child, hearing or deaf.

RachelRene

Agreed with you, Robin!

DeafCaroline, I share a lot of the same worries as you did... since I'm right smack in the middle of the single mother struggling trying to make things work for us... And thank you for reminding me that I *am* working on making sure we have a better life in the future, and he is happy and healthy and he seems to be right on track developmentally, except where speech is concerned.

shel90

That would be very very hard for Deaf parents to do that because in every family, there are usually hearing members somewhere.

Also, that would mean the Deaf parents wouldnt allow them to go to public schools.

Do you know of any Deaf parents who do that? Just curious. I have never met any who were able to completely isolate their hearing children from interacting with other hearing people even if they wanted to.

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