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Unread 02-06-2010, 12:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Men....help a poor mother with a problem!

This is for Men, as they have better experience in this. It might be embarassing but I need your advice, and who knows Mothers of boys might be grateful for the advice.


I have two boys, oldest is going to be 10 in March.

Now, this is difficult for me to explain so bear with me here....

My oldest is going to start 'exploring' or is already.

How do I deal with this? How do I talk to him about sex without making him uncomfortable? How do I talk to him about Masterbation?

His dad should be doing this but both my boys say their dad wont talk to them about anything.
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Unread 02-06-2010, 12:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I've gone through this working at a group home.

The best advice I can give you is to explain to your sons that it is natural to explore their own bodies in the privacy of their own bedroom and/or bathroom.

Explain to them that their body is their own body and only they can touch themselves in a way they feel good. It is okay to feel good touching themselves.

A child that is curious about masturbation and their own body could just be only curious for their satisfaction. Sex could be the very last thing on their mind.
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Unread 02-06-2010, 12:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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The Ultimate Male Masturbation Resource | JackinWorld

The name may not inspire much confidence but, this is an excellent resource for any questions you might have. I know if some parents wouldn't point their children towards this site (at least not at first) because they fear it may be too graphic and they would prefer to be the in-between person. I used the site myself as I lived only with my mother as my sex ed. convo with my father consisted of, "Make sure you're using condoms."

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The best advice I can give you is to explain to your sons that it is natural to explore their own bodies in the privacy of their own bedroom and/or bathroom.

Explain to them that their body is their own body and only they can touch themselves in a way they feel good. It is okay to feel good touching themselves.
That's spot on! Dispelling the myth that masturbation is wrong or immoral should be one of the first things discussed.
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Unread 02-06-2010, 12:44 PM   #4 (permalink)
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That is the one thing that I am keeping in mind.

That it is natural....

Hence the reason I am asking about this whole thing. lol
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Unread 02-06-2010, 04:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I remember those days. I remember feeling sad when I caught them at certain age. I left the job to my husband cuz I had no idea how to deal with boys' explore. Man to man talk is something no mother should be part of it.
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Unread 02-07-2010, 10:21 PM   #6 (permalink)
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As far as the sex talk I would look at their health text books and assignments and when they get to that chapter offer to help study and then use that as your "in " for conversation. I had the exact opposite problem raising a daughter on my own and that is what I did.

As for masturbation....I would just leave that one alone.....it's more important for you to understand it is natural more than it is for them so that you don't over react. I don't think they will care to have mom's stamp of approval on the activity.....
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Unread 02-08-2010, 02:45 AM   #7 (permalink)
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You don't need to talk to him about masturbation, unless you think he may think its something evil.

The bigger issue will be his treatment of women, and when (and if ) he finds a willing female. Then its up to you if you want to give him condoms or not.
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