Children need be spank??? - Page 2

deafironchef · 10-28-2009, 01:09 AM

well in my belive kid should get spanking but in love-kindness way make sure kid is well decpline belive me i have see 9 kid are well obey all the family is ( homeschool) ( most time around with thier father) ( less embress and less scar for life)

belive me i see it must more handle than other non christan family thier behave was much worse far off

souggy · 10-28-2009, 02:09 AM

Quote:

belive me i see it must more handle than other non christan family thier behave was much worse far off

What does one's religion have to do with it?

CJB · 10-28-2009, 04:33 AM

I've come across so many families that see using corporal punishment as some sort of way of following the Bible. Doesn't make sense to me either. Anyway, we should probably cut off the religious discussion here.

inmate23 · 10-28-2009, 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafironchef

well in my belive kid should get spanking but in love-kindness way make sure kid is well decpline belive me i have see 9 kid are well obey all the family is ( homeschool) ( most time around with thier father) ( less embress and less scar for life)

what does homschooling have to do with it. I am homeschooling myself at moment because I have aged out of state foster care. I was homeschooled in my foster placements.

i dont what the laws of your state are but the augement that homeschooling means that its ok to asalt your is ok is

and doesnt work in new zealand

shel90 · 10-28-2009, 10:40 AM

I was spanked by the hand, whipped with a belt and wooden spoon by my parents for serious behaviors like coloring all of the walls in my mom's house, telling my brother to give my mom the bird when he was only 4 years old, stealing a magazine from a store, and going into my uncle's personal stuff. I dont feel traumatized and looking back, what I did warranted the spankings. Just my opinion. Everyone has their own opinion about spanking and I respect all the different views. I think I may have spanked my daughter maybe 3 times. I try to avoid it at all costs but in my opinion, there are some situations that a spanking is appropriate.

souggy · 10-28-2009, 12:53 PM

The underlying key is don't discipline your child too often... or you get one that is shy or intimidated by simple things.

I may not have a hand laid on me, but I got an "earful" of "sit-down discussions." Too bad I don't really like one-on-one conversations as a result of that. :\

deafskeptic · 10-28-2009, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by souggy

I can see both side of the issues:

My mom always made me sit down and talk things out whenever I get in trouble, but whenever people talk to me, i keep thinking I am in trouble or something like that to this day. :\ The only time people ever talked to me personally (outside of classes and such) verbally before I went to post-secondary... wass whenever I got into trouble. I actually feel threatened when people talk to me for some reason-- yet I don't get that with typing or texting.

My stepdad only hit me with a belt buckle once, and I don't even remember it.

Every time people tell me that they need to talk to me, I wonder what did I do or am I in trouble? I don't remember either of my parents ever talking to me when I was in trouble so I dunno where I got this.

My dad used to spank me with a belt.

shel90 · 10-28-2009, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by souggy

The underlying key is don't discipline your child too often... or you get one that is shy or intimidated by simple things.

I may not have a hand laid on me, but I got an "earful" of "sit-down discussions." Too bad I don't really like one-on-one conversations as a result of that. :\

My ex hubby does that with our daughter and I never see any results in improving her behavior. I think she enjoys the attention from him and misbehaves so she can have those "sit-down" talks. I tried to tell him that he is reinforcing her bad behavior but he wont listen to me so it is out of my hands.

HanaKhan · 10-29-2009, 06:22 AM

I voted for no, because hitting them might make them stubborn and give them a fear about parents. I think there are many other ways to correct their mistakes or teach them good discipline.

Elliotts Dad · 10-29-2009, 08:14 AM

I don't spank (my kids anyways

) but I do give a swat on the butt to get their attention sometimes then send them to time-out.

Cheri · 10-29-2009, 11:13 AM

There's no one way or right way to discipline your child, There are so many different ways of disciplining your child. A swat in the butt (spanks) is nothing compares to hitting, but yea it is a physical punishment. But, I don't use spanking as a method of disciplining nowadays because my sons are a bit older now. (14 and 9).

Time-outs don't even work for one of my sons, He loves time-outs matter of fact he would sit there and sing songs. So I avoid giving him time-outs and would just revoke his privileges, that kind of disciplining works wonder on both of my sons.

sallylou · 10-29-2009, 11:29 AM

You've got to know a kid's currency. For my eldest, it's his computer. That's how he talks to his friends. Revoke the computer privilege and he falls in line. Soon, it'll be the car.

Elliotts Dad · 10-29-2009, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheri

Time-outs don't even work for one of my sons, He loves time-outs matter of fact he would sit there and sing songs. So I avoid giving him time-outs and would just revoke his privileges, that kind of disciplining works wonder on both of my sons.

lol, my 1.5yo daughter will go sit with her 3yo brother in time out because she HAS to do everything he does. Sometimes she will just go sit there all on her own or she will act up to get sent there!

On a serious note, I am open to any advice on discipline for a deaf 3yo.

sallylou · 10-29-2009, 12:55 PM

I recommend positive reinforcement for her, just like any other 3 years old. Charts, stickers and rewards work wonderfully.

lilylover72 · 10-29-2009, 04:27 PM

I learned about therapist. spank or timeout are not good. I have to warn my son 1 warning if he still stuborn then I warn him 2 warning then if he still, I warn 3 warning, if not, then I send him to his room and take his games in 5 min. If he still stubborn again, I will say 4th, No laptop and games for one week. He hate 4th so It work so well. Trust me. He cannot live without his games or laptop. You have to find something that your kids cannot live without anything.

Pinky · 10-29-2009, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sallylou

I recommend positive reinforcement for her, just like any other 3 years old. Charts, stickers and rewards work wonderfully.

That's good sign! I learned it from school and Supernanny on tv. LoL I will do it to my kids.

Pinky · 10-29-2009, 05:41 PM

Have you even watch Supernanny on tv?? What do you think about Jo Frost?? Just curious.

Pinky · 10-29-2009, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheri

There's no one way or right way to discipline your child, There are so many different ways of disciplining your child. A swat in the butt (spanks) is nothing compares to hitting, but yea it is a physical punishment. But, I don't use spanking as a method of disciplining nowadays because my sons are a bit older now. (14 and 9).

Time-outs don't even work for one of my sons, He loves time-outs matter of fact he would sit there and sing songs. So I avoid giving him time-outs and would just revoke his privileges, that kind of disciplining works wonder on both of my sons.

How about time-out for age minutes sit on naughty stool instead stand by the corner and wall? I learned it from Supernanny.

sallylou · 10-29-2009, 05:46 PM

Sometimes giving negative attention actually reinforces the behavior. Some kids think that negative attention is better than no attention. Depends on the kid.

I haven't seen Super Nanny. I don't watch much tv.

Pinky · 10-29-2009, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilylover72

I learned about therapist. spank or timeout are not good. I have to warn my son 1 warning if he still stuborn then I warn him 2 warning then if he still, I warn 3 warning, if not, then I send him to his room and take his games in 5 min. If he still stubborn again, I will say 4th, No laptop and games for one week. He hate 4th so It work so well. Trust me. He cannot live without his games or laptop. You have to find something that your kids cannot live without anything.

The room is not good idea. Because in room is for enjoy and toys. When is my baby's growing big. I refuse put kid in room for punish because the kid would play the toys and games. I prefer put my kid on timeout age minutes with naughty stool. It's my opinion.

In my experience with my parent put me in room with door hooked to lock it. I was not able get out of room. I banged on the door so hard and scream. And I wanted to play with my toys while I was punish in room. Is that make sense? I don't want be same as my parent's way. They were old fashion.

PowerON · 10-29-2009, 05:59 PM

I have been spank and never had problem with myself. Now, I need hottie sexy who will spank me.

jazzy · 11-03-2009, 11:00 PM

I voted no cuz I still feel guilty all those years from spank my boys when they were little. I wish I never spank them ever. My parents never spanked me but counselors at deaf school spanked me when I was 10 years old and I still carry that scar.

jazzy · 11-03-2009, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elliotts Dad

lol, my 1.5yo daughter will go sit with her 3yo brother in time out because she HAS to do everything he does. Sometimes she will just go sit there all on her own or she will act up to get sent there!

On a serious note, I am open to any advice on discipline for a deaf 3yo.

3 years old deaf boy, wow tough one. Time out is only thing I can think and it worked on my boys but I do not know about you and do not know you well enough if you communicate with your son in sign language or what? Talk, talk, talk and let him know that is wrong. As for me being a deaf parent to hearing child was not easy for me either. I tried to remember how my parents disciplined me, I remember they send me to bedroom when I refused to obey them and stay there till bedtime. It was only way it worked for them espeically they could not communicate with me at all.

violet · 11-04-2009, 12:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PowerON

I have been spank and never had problem with myself. Now, I need hottie sexy who will spank me.

hahahahahahahaha! not even appropriate

Passionate4ASL · 11-04-2009, 08:28 AM

When my daughter was little I tried spanking her and I don't feel it was affective as a discipline method. I have not spanked my daughter in years. Now I know and practice other alternative methods, so I vote "no" for spanking. As long as you are consistant with your method of choice it should work out fine. I feel spanking is more for the parents need to vent frustrations and that is not good for the child.

SCBassist · 11-04-2009, 09:07 AM

Spanking is a gray area, it depends but I'd use it in severe cases to stop hehavior that endangers themselves or others. Primarily, I would be firm with him/her, AND discuss with them why what they did is wrong. Not many parents talk to their kids, I think with a lack of communication, it only adds to the child's inability to reason what is inappropriate behavior or not.

KristinaB · 11-04-2009, 11:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by posts from hell

I prefer using a 2 by 4

I always say the 2 by 4 with rusty nails!!

Seriously, I voted yes, but only with hand and not very often. Usually a grounding worked. Now (they are 14 & 15) grounding doesn't work, but taking away Playstation, Nintendo Ds's and computer time does work. Also, son goes to Yu-Gi-Oh tournaments every weekend. He knows he will lose that if he screws up.

Pinky · 11-05-2009, 02:28 PM

I second Kristina. I can use my open hand spank for rare. In case it's serious misbehave. The spank will not help for teenager. I told my dad stop spank me when I was 11. He said, "You better be good girl". He can give me the money for allowance to do chores. Whenever I got into at dorm. He was ground me like no phone, no tv, no hang out with friends, and no play video games.

Eileenutah · 11-05-2009, 02:38 PM

I'm raising 6 kids and don't believe in spanking. The best thing that works here is taking away privelages. No car for the teenager, no cell phone for the other whatever they are hooked to the most take it away.......I would just love to smash up the X-Box

webexplorer · 11-06-2009, 12:03 AM

My sister spanked her two daughters softly when they were 10 to 13 years olds. After that, she stopped using the spank method, and then she yelled at her children.

She complained that she is tired from all the work by herself in the house. Now, the kids are 16 and 18, and they are very spoiled. When her daughter was 13 years old, she professionally manipulated her parents for her own excuses.

I believe now that her daughter still manipulates people sometimes. One time, the daughter was in the TV room at 1 a.m., and my mother told her to go to bed. But, she said very nasty to my mother that made her mad, and she slapped her face. (The kid said, "I want you to die...") Then, the kid cried and called her parents at a restaurant. ...Her parents believed her... Wow! My mother refused to apology her because she had to do it as she is the grandmother. I realized that my mother is right about that.

I also realized that my sister is a lousy mother for not enough responsibility to spank them.

Obviously, my sister and her husband gave them expensive toys and expensive clothes. I bet that the parents must have felt guilty for not enough provide them what the kids needed when they were little kids. Who knows. I think that it was stupid.

I believe that some medium spankings and most talks are better than yelling and no spankings. Taking their favorite things out that also work. Hope that helps.

View Poll Results: Children need be spank for misbehave?
Yes: Explain why?	18	45.00%
No: Explain why?	19	47.50%
Not sure	3	7.50%
Voters: 40. You may not vote on this poll

10-28-2009, 10:40 AM	#35 (permalink)
shel90 In a pink and black world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: In the land of the free Posts: 24,067 Blog Entries: 3	I was spanked by the hand, whipped with a belt and wooden spoon by my parents for serious behaviors like coloring all of the walls in my mom's house, telling my brother to give my mom the bird when he was only 4 years old, stealing a magazine from a store, and going into my uncle's personal stuff. I dont feel traumatized and looking back, what I did warranted the spankings. Just my opinion. Everyone has their own opinion about spanking and I respect all the different views. I think I may have spanked my daughter maybe 3 times. I try to avoid it at all costs but in my opinion, there are some situations that a spanking is appropriate. __________________ Shel~ "A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

10-28-2009, 12:53 PM	#36 (permalink)
souggy Ace Attorney Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Victoria, BC Posts: 2,389	The underlying key is don't discipline your child too often... or you get one that is shy or intimidated by simple things. I may not have a hand laid on me, but I got an "earful" of "sit-down discussions." Too bad I don't really like one-on-one conversations as a result of that. :\ __________________ Souggy's Blog Warning! Contains skewed comments & inane ramblings. May cause spontaneous human combustion

10-29-2009, 06:22 AM	#39 (permalink)
HanaKhan Registered User Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 1	I voted for no, because hitting them might make them stubborn and give them a fear about parents. I think there are many other ways to correct their mistakes or teach them good discipline. __________________ Using Kettlebell and treadmills helps to loose fat.

10-29-2009, 08:14 AM	#40 (permalink)
Elliotts Dad Registered User Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Slater, Iowa Posts: 16	I don't spank (my kids anyways ) but I do give a swat on the butt to get their attention sometimes then send them to time-out. __________________

10-28-2009, 01:09 AM	#31 (permalink)
deafironchef deaf alaskan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: alaska fairbank Posts: 368	well in my belive kid should get spanking but in love-kindness way make sure kid is well decpline belive me i have see 9 kid are well obey all the family is ( homeschool) ( most time around with thier father) ( less embress and less scar for life) belive me i see it must more handle than other non christan family thier behave was much worse far off

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10-28-2009, 04:33 AM	#33 (permalink)
CJB deafblind writer Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: U.S. Posts: 1,425	I've come across so many families that see using corporal punishment as some sort of way of following the Bible. Doesn't make sense to me either. Anyway, we should probably cut off the religious discussion here.

10-29-2009, 11:13 AM	#41 (permalink)
Cheri Prayers for my dad. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 22,616	There's no one way or right way to discipline your child, There are so many different ways of disciplining your child. A swat in the butt (spanks) is nothing compares to hitting, but yea it is a physical punishment. But, I don't use spanking as a method of disciplining nowadays because my sons are a bit older now. (14 and 9). Time-outs don't even work for one of my sons, He loves time-outs matter of fact he would sit there and sing songs. So I avoid giving him time-outs and would just revoke his privileges, that kind of disciplining works wonder on both of my sons. __________________ God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow and sun without rain, But God did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears and light for the way.

10-29-2009, 11:29 AM	#42 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,097	You've got to know a kid's currency. For my eldest, it's his computer. That's how he talks to his friends. Revoke the computer privilege and he falls in line. Soon, it'll be the car. __________________ Happy holidays!

10-29-2009, 12:55 PM	#44 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,097	I recommend positive reinforcement for her, just like any other 3 years old. Charts, stickers and rewards work wonderfully. __________________ Happy holidays!

10-29-2009, 04:27 PM	#45 (permalink)
lilylover72 I love purple! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: USA Posts: 2,939	I learned about therapist. spank or timeout are not good. I have to warn my son 1 warning if he still stuborn then I warn him 2 warning then if he still, I warn 3 warning, if not, then I send him to his room and take his games in 5 min. If he still stubborn again, I will say 4th, No laptop and games for one week. He hate 4th so It work so well. Trust me. He cannot live without his games or laptop. You have to find something that your kids cannot live without anything.

10-29-2009, 05:41 PM	#47 (permalink)
Pinky I'm proud to have CI!!!! Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 5,441	Have you even watch Supernanny on tv?? What do you think about Jo Frost?? Just curious. __________________ I'm expecting! It's a BOY!!!!! LEFT: Implanted: 6/12/09 Activated: 7/7/09 Freedom

10-29-2009, 05:46 PM	#49 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,097	Sometimes giving negative attention actually reinforces the behavior. Some kids think that negative attention is better than no attention. Depends on the kid. I haven't seen Super Nanny. I don't watch much tv. __________________ Happy holidays!

10-29-2009, 05:59 PM	#51 (permalink)
PowerON Click me 12 time Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Suddenly, I'm cowboy. Posts: 6,863 Blog Entries: 4	I have been spank and never had problem with myself. Now, I need hottie sexy who will spank me. __________________ • [Illustrator.Blog-alloon.com] • Don't shoot me! I'm only blogger!

11-03-2009, 11:00 PM	#52 (permalink)
jazzy Registered User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: High desert in Calif Posts: 3,600	I voted no cuz I still feel guilty all those years from spank my boys when they were little. I wish I never spank them ever. My parents never spanked me but counselors at deaf school spanked me when I was 10 years old and I still carry that scar. __________________

11-04-2009, 08:28 AM	#55 (permalink)
Passionate4ASL StormyStarySkies Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: South Florida Posts: 277	When my daughter was little I tried spanking her and I don't feel it was affective as a discipline method. I have not spanked my daughter in years. Now I know and practice other alternative methods, so I vote "no" for spanking. As long as you are consistant with your method of choice it should work out fine. I feel spanking is more for the parents need to vent frustrations and that is not good for the child. __________________ JennieLynn

11-04-2009, 09:07 AM	#56 (permalink)
SCBassist ...And your point is? Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Spartanburg, SC Posts: 1,043	Spanking is a gray area, it depends but I'd use it in severe cases to stop hehavior that endangers themselves or others. Primarily, I would be firm with him/her, AND discuss with them why what they did is wrong. Not many parents talk to their kids, I think with a lack of communication, it only adds to the child's inability to reason what is inappropriate behavior or not. __________________ Complaints Division Here

11-05-2009, 02:28 PM	#58 (permalink)
Pinky I'm proud to have CI!!!! Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 5,441	I second Kristina. I can use my open hand spank for rare. In case it's serious misbehave. The spank will not help for teenager. I told my dad stop spank me when I was 11. He said, "You better be good girl". He can give me the money for allowance to do chores. Whenever I got into at dorm. He was ground me like no phone, no tv, no hang out with friends, and no play video games. __________________ I'm expecting! It's a BOY!!!!! LEFT: Implanted: 6/12/09 Activated: 7/7/09 Freedom

11-05-2009, 02:38 PM	#59 (permalink)
Eileenutah Registered User Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Utah Posts: 94	I'm raising 6 kids and don't believe in spanking. The best thing that works here is taking away privelages. No car for the teenager, no cell phone for the other whatever they are hooked to the most take it away.......I would just love to smash up the X-Box

11-06-2009, 12:03 AM	#60 (permalink)
webexplorer I'm listening to everyone Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: New England Posts: 4,505	My sister spanked her two daughters softly when they were 10 to 13 years olds. After that, she stopped using the spank method, and then she yelled at her children. She complained that she is tired from all the work by herself in the house. Now, the kids are 16 and 18, and they are very spoiled. When her daughter was 13 years old, she professionally manipulated her parents for her own excuses. I believe now that her daughter still manipulates people sometimes. One time, the daughter was in the TV room at 1 a.m., and my mother told her to go to bed. But, she said very nasty to my mother that made her mad, and she slapped her face. (The kid said, "I want you to die...") Then, the kid cried and called her parents at a restaurant. ...Her parents believed her... Wow! My mother refused to apology her because she had to do it as she is the grandmother. I realized that my mother is right about that. I also realized that my sister is a lousy mother for not enough responsibility to spank them. Obviously, my sister and her husband gave them expensive toys and expensive clothes. I bet that the parents must have felt guilty for not enough provide them what the kids needed when they were little kids. Who knows. I think that it was stupid. I believe that some medium spankings and most talks are better than yelling and no spankings. Taking their favorite things out that also work. Hope that helps.

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