Explicit 'Banned Book' Infuriates Virginia Father... - Page 2

rockin'robin · 10-10-2009, 08:22 PM

I strongly believe that teenagers should refrain from having sex! Teaching them (my boys) to "respect" all girls, keep their hands off of them also.

Don't we already have so much "unwanted pregnancies" in this world?

I was deeply disappointed about my son, at 17, having unprotected sex. If the girl would have gotten pregnant, it would affect his whole life, and his dreams of whatever he aspires to do with his future.

At age 16 and on, there will be a lot of temptations for them. All I can do is to make sure they have a condom in their wallets. And a lot of "talking" to them, keeping everything in the open.

I still chauffer my 15 yr. old whenever he wants to take a girl to the movies, and pick them up also. But also, keeping him busy with his sports and outside activities. Right now, he isn't really "into" girls, just sports.

My 13 yr. old is into his schoolwork, and books, reads all the time. And skateboards. No girls at the moment. But I know within a year or so, things will change with him.

Maybe I'm "old fashioned" or even behind the times. But I do want their futures to be bright and not having babies when they are still babies themselves. Even at age 18, their whole life is ahead of them. Too young to have a baby!

sallylou · 10-10-2009, 08:37 PM

Way too young to be a parent! My grandmother married at 16 and my mother married at 17. Both of them told me from an early age not to get married so soon. My mother especially insisted that I had to go to college. She would have hog tied me and hauled me to the campus if she had to. I have no idea what she would have resorted to if I had wanted to get married. LOL!

It's important for a person to get an education and have some time to be free before becoming a parent.

rockin'robin · 10-10-2009, 09:24 PM

I agree with that, SallyLou....most all parents want the very best for their child. Raising children is very hard work. And children trying to raise children is even worse!

So many cases where the teenagers have a baby, and abuse it, or just give it up and it goes to a foster home and perhaps even more abuse.

I've told my boys....get married at 30 or after. That way, you should be settled down somewhat, have a job, car, etc., and something to offer the marriage to a "nice" girl. And hopefully, mature enuf to raise a family and raise them right.

My 18 yr. olds girlfriend has brought up the subject of "marriage" to him, (he told me) and he said..."Whoa!...I'm not ready for that yet." He's not ready to move in with her either. He has a male roommate. Seems he's getting more mature everyday. Right now, it's "party time" for him.

CJB · 10-10-2009, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockin'robin

I live in Florida. And yes, I do know about that law. A friend of mine, she allowed her 17 yr. old to move in his 16 yr. old girlfriend. IMO, that would never happen in my home. They have since "broken up" and my friend said she was "so glad".!....I asked her if she was gonna allow him to do this again, and she said "No way!"

So then this part of your previous post doesn't hold any real threat:

Quote:

I've made it plain and simple....they can go to jail for having sex with an underage girl, and the fact that it's wrong at their age.

Unless one person is significantly younger than the other, they can't go to jail for it in the state of Florida.

CJB · 10-10-2009, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockin'robin

I was deeply disappointed about my son, at 17, having unprotected sex. If the girl would have gotten pregnant, it would affect his whole life, and his dreams of whatever he aspires to do with his future.

I can understand about the unprotected part. That's unsafe. But having sex in general? People are sexual beings. Even my parents both had had sex by 14 and 15 respectively.

sallylou · 10-10-2009, 09:54 PM

Studies have shown that rates of premarital sex have remained steady over time. The wholesome 50's weren't really so tame. The only difference it that now we have birth control to prevent pregnancies now.

CJB · 10-10-2009, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sallylou

Studies have shown that rates of premarital sex have remained steady over time. The wholesome 50's weren't really so tame. The only difference it that now we have birth control to prevent pregnancies now.

And people aren't as pressured into hiding their sexual relations in strictly adhering to the sex-within-marriage model as they were in the 1950's.

jillio · 10-10-2009, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockin'robin

I was cleaning the boys bathroom the other day and found a "Hooters" magazine hidden in back of the closet. Just very prety girls, with skimpy outfits on. At first, I thought to trash it!....But gave it some more thought, and just stuck it right back in there.

It's my 15 yr. olds book. Now I know why he spends "more time" in the bathroom (he still doesn't know that I know it's in there).

Right now, football is his passion. And girls do call him often, but he's too busy, and once in a while, he will ask me to take him and a date to the movies, and I pick them up also.

But, if I found a "banned" book with explicit sexual pictures in it, I would confront him right then. I don't feel he needs "an education" in homosexuality or sexual intercourse at his age!

I can understand the father's rage about this book. Each parent is different. My 17 yr. old (now he is 18) admitted to the doctor he had unprotected sex with his girlfriend. They are now broke up. When this happened, all 3 of my boys and I sat down and had a big conversation about it. I've made it plain and simple....they can go to jail for having sex with an underage girl, and the fact that it's wrong at their age.

Keeping teenagers busy with sports and activities is the best thing to do. Plus, they have a right and a left hand, use it.

I have a good friend who was one of my clinical profs when I was in grad school. She told a story in Lifespan Development that has always stuck with me. She raised 5 boys. When the 1st one became a teen-ager, she found a girly magazine under his mattress and freaked out. By the time she got to the 3rd one, she was checking to make sure the girly magazines were there!

Lesson: don't freak out over those little things that are a part of the normal developmental process.

Buffalo · 10-10-2009, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sallylou

Studies have shown that rates of premarital sex have remained steady over time. The wholesome 50's weren't really so tame. The only difference it that now we have birth control to prevent pregnancies now.

The Victorian times weren't that straightlaced either. I have seen many illegitimate babies in Austria in that time frame when I do my genealogy research.

jillio · 10-10-2009, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buffalo

The Victorian times weren't that straightlaced either. I have seen many illegitimate babies in Austria in that time frame when I do my genealogy research.

Agreed. It is not a matter of premarital sex being more prevalent. It is matter of the discussion of premarital sex being more acceptable.

Dixie · 10-10-2009, 11:28 PM

I think these types of books should be out there, it shows a perspective different from the All-American view. With this book being banned, the school is essentially stiffling out the homosexual student population, the sexually active student population, as well as the drug-addicted student population. He's basically saying by pulling this book from the shelves is that any student that falls into this category isn't worthwhile. And to be honest I think most students around 11th grade are quietly questioning their options but are waiting until they are off to college before they begin experimenting. but as far as being sexually active goes, it doesnt shock me a bit to hear that 12 year olds are becoming sexually active. Most if not all students have had sex by age 14 or 15 at least. I'm willing to bet that 90% of high school students are not virgins when they graduate high school.

Reba · 10-11-2009, 12:34 AM

It is a very sad commentary on our society that children are "sexually active"--that is, fornicating, and we aren't even shocked by that. It's heartbreaking.

CJB · 10-11-2009, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

It is a very sad commentary on our society that children are "sexually active"--that is, fornicating, and we aren't even shocked by that. It's heartbreaking.

Why is it heart-breaking? Humans have been fornicating since the institution of marriage was ever created. It's just more talked about nowadays.

Reba · 10-11-2009, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJB

Why is it heart-breaking? Humans have been fornicating since the institution of marriage was ever created. It's just more talked about nowadays.

That's what is heart-breaking. That adults believe it's OK for children to be sexually involved with each other.

jillio · 10-11-2009, 01:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJB

Why is it heart-breaking? Humans have been fornicating since the institution of marriage was ever created. It's just more talked about nowadays.

People have been fornicating before the insitution of marraige was ever created. People have been fornicating since the beginning of male and female. It isn't a matter at all of whether it is "okay" or not. It is simply a matter of being realistic. It happens, whether one gives their approval or not.

CJB · 10-11-2009, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

People have been fornicating before the insitution of marraige was ever created. People have been fornicating since the beginning of male and female. It isn't a matter at all of whether it is "okay" or not. It is simply a matter of being realistic. It happens, whether one gives their approval or not.

Oh, I was going by the "sex before marriage" definition of fornicating, in which it would only be possible once "marriage" was defined. But in the sense of having sex at a young age, you're absolutely right.

jillio · 10-11-2009, 02:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJB

Oh, I was going by the "sex before marriage" definition of fornicating, in which it would only be possible once "marriage" was defined. But in the sense of having sex at a young age, you're absolutely right.

Ahhh...gotcha. I thought, after I posted, that was probably your perspective. I was just pointing out that sex never has been, nor is it now, something that is dependent upon wedding vows. To think that, at any time in human history, sex has not occured outside of marraige is terribly naive.

CJB · 10-11-2009, 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

Ahhh...gotcha. I thought, after I posted, that was probably your perspective. I was just pointing out that sex never has been, nor is it now, something that is dependent upon wedding vows. To think that, at any time in human history, sex has not occured outside of marraige is terribly naive.

Tell me about it.

Reba · 10-11-2009, 02:25 AM

Since marriage has been around since the first couple was created, any people having sex with persons other than their spouses were either fornicating or commiting adultery.

Regardless, it is the innocent children I'm concerned about. I stand by my statement that it's a sad commentary on a society that is no longer shocked when their children are "sexually active."

CJB · 10-11-2009, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

Since marriage has been around since the first couple was created, any people having sex with persons other than their spouses were either fornicating or commiting adultery.

Can we get a source on this?

jillio · 10-11-2009, 02:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

Since marriage has been around since the first couple was created, any people having sex with persons other than their spouses were either fornicating or commiting adultery.

Regardless, it is the innocent children I'm concerned about. I stand by my statement that it's a sad commentary on a society that is no longer shocked when their children are "sexually active."

Hmmm....not exactly. In order for a marraige to be marraige, it has to be civilly recognized. That is why the sects that practice polygamy have only one recognized marraige, despite their claims of many spiritual unions.

Children who are having sex are not nearly so innocent as you might think. Nor do they need instruction from books in order to figure it out.

Reba · 10-11-2009, 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJB

Can we get a source on this?

It's religious, so I'm not allowed.

CJB · 10-11-2009, 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

It's religious, so I'm not allowed.

Thought so.

Reba · 10-11-2009, 02:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJB

Thought so.

Feel free to pm me later if you want the answer.

CJB · 10-11-2009, 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

Feel free to pm me later if you want the answer.

I think I have a pretty good idea of the answer. Thanks for the offer though.

Reba · 10-11-2009, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJB

I think I have a pretty good idea of the answer. Thanks for the offer though.

You're welcome. Anytime.

jillio · 10-11-2009, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CJB

I think I have a pretty good idea of the answer. Thanks for the offer though.

Exactly. And because this country doesn't endorse any specific religion, and the citizens are members of various religions, we cannot adopt the views of one religion in deciding what is acceptable reading material for all.

Kai Onca · 10-19-2009, 11:12 PM

eh in few years time, things considered taboo right now in schools probably would be the norm later on.

looking at our history.... it'll change and people are always going to have an opinion what is right and wrong.

I really don't see a difference between explaining the war stories in graphic detail than a sexual adventure, drug experiences and whatnot. War kills, drugs kill, even sex kills, same goes for the positive aspects of the war, the drugs, the sex.

they're all the same in the end its all about human experiences and living history every second of our lives

I really feel bad for the son of that complaining father. Poor guy probably gotta go thru some flak for what his father is upset about. I understand parents got the rights and if they dont like how the school is run then they can might as well homeschool their children and shelter the kid from the reality of the world.

Kai Onca · 10-19-2009, 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

It is a very sad commentary on our society that children are "sexually active"--that is, fornicating, and we aren't even shocked by that. It's heartbreaking.

I agree completely Reba that comment just exact how I felt but then I had to step back and think about our real world history.

Do you realize how many kids are "interested" in showing their parts to the opposite gender? it's all about "learning" why they're different than the boys or the girls whatever it is.

Kids were having kids a couple hundred years ago, it was widely accepted

look at our brides ages and our grooms ages in some situations. History isn't dainty and pretty- they just make it nice and pretty in our schools so we're not

our innocent children.

Kids mimic and learn what their parents do its a given. What do you think kids saw at night when their parents thought they were sleeping in the tents, in the one bedroom cabin, hut, wagon, outdoors and whatnot all over the world's history?

10-10-2009, 08:37 PM	#32 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,090	Way too young to be a parent! My grandmother married at 16 and my mother married at 17. Both of them told me from an early age not to get married so soon. My mother especially insisted that I had to go to college. She would have hog tied me and hauled me to the campus if she had to. I have no idea what she would have resorted to if I had wanted to get married. LOL! It's important for a person to get an education and have some time to be free before becoming a parent. __________________ Happy holidays!

10-10-2009, 09:54 PM	#36 (permalink)
sallylou Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 2,090	Studies have shown that rates of premarital sex have remained steady over time. The wholesome 50's weren't really so tame. The only difference it that now we have birth control to prevent pregnancies now. __________________ Happy holidays!

10-10-2009, 11:28 PM	#41 (permalink)
Dixie Biggest Wimp of AllDeaf Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 5,942	I think these types of books should be out there, it shows a perspective different from the All-American view. With this book being banned, the school is essentially stiffling out the homosexual student population, the sexually active student population, as well as the drug-addicted student population. He's basically saying by pulling this book from the shelves is that any student that falls into this category isn't worthwhile. And to be honest I think most students around 11th grade are quietly questioning their options but are waiting until they are off to college before they begin experimenting. but as far as being sexually active goes, it doesnt shock me a bit to hear that 12 year olds are becoming sexually active. Most if not all students have had sex by age 14 or 15 at least. I'm willing to bet that 90% of high school students are not virgins when they graduate high school. __________________ Visit my Deaf Blog Signature banner created by me, please do not steal!

10-19-2009, 11:12 PM	#58 (permalink)
Kai Onca Save the RAINFOREST Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Wandering through the Mist of Time Posts: 971	eh in few years time, things considered taboo right now in schools probably would be the norm later on. looking at our history.... it'll change and people are always going to have an opinion what is right and wrong. I really don't see a difference between explaining the war stories in graphic detail than a sexual adventure, drug experiences and whatnot. War kills, drugs kill, even sex kills, same goes for the positive aspects of the war, the drugs, the sex. they're all the same in the end its all about human experiences and living history every second of our lives I really feel bad for the son of that complaining father. Poor guy probably gotta go thru some flak for what his father is upset about. I understand parents got the rights and if they dont like how the school is run then they can might as well homeschool their children and shelter the kid from the reality of the world. Last edited by Kai Onca; 10-19-2009 at 11:13 PM. Reason: grammar!

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10-10-2009, 08:22 PM	#31 (permalink)
rockin'robin Registered User Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Florida Posts: 2,782	I strongly believe that teenagers should refrain from having sex! Teaching them (my boys) to "respect" all girls, keep their hands off of them also. Don't we already have so much "unwanted pregnancies" in this world? I was deeply disappointed about my son, at 17, having unprotected sex. If the girl would have gotten pregnant, it would affect his whole life, and his dreams of whatever he aspires to do with his future. At age 16 and on, there will be a lot of temptations for them. All I can do is to make sure they have a condom in their wallets. And a lot of "talking" to them, keeping everything in the open. I still chauffer my 15 yr. old whenever he wants to take a girl to the movies, and pick them up also. But also, keeping him busy with his sports and outside activities. Right now, he isn't really "into" girls, just sports. My 13 yr. old is into his schoolwork, and books, reads all the time. And skateboards. No girls at the moment. But I know within a year or so, things will change with him. Maybe I'm "old fashioned" or even behind the times. But I do want their futures to be bright and not having babies when they are still babies themselves. Even at age 18, their whole life is ahead of them. Too young to have a baby!

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10-10-2009, 09:24 PM	#33 (permalink)
rockin'robin Registered User Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Florida Posts: 2,782	I agree with that, SallyLou....most all parents want the very best for their child. Raising children is very hard work. And children trying to raise children is even worse! So many cases where the teenagers have a baby, and abuse it, or just give it up and it goes to a foster home and perhaps even more abuse. I've told my boys....get married at 30 or after. That way, you should be settled down somewhat, have a job, car, etc., and something to offer the marriage to a "nice" girl. And hopefully, mature enuf to raise a family and raise them right. My 18 yr. olds girlfriend has brought up the subject of "marriage" to him, (he told me) and he said..."Whoa!...I'm not ready for that yet." He's not ready to move in with her either. He has a male roommate. Seems he's getting more mature everyday. Right now, it's "party time" for him.

10-11-2009, 12:34 AM	#42 (permalink)
Reba Premium Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 20,799	It is a very sad commentary on our society that children are "sexually active"--that is, fornicating, and we aren't even shocked by that. It's heartbreaking.

10-11-2009, 02:25 AM	#49 (permalink)
Reba Premium Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 20,799	Since marriage has been around since the first couple was created, any people having sex with persons other than their spouses were either fornicating or commiting adultery. Regardless, it is the innocent children I'm concerned about. I stand by my statement that it's a sad commentary on a society that is no longer shocked when their children are "sexually active."