November Gypsy

My little girl is 7 months old. She is my precious, my darling, my dear. She is so very sweet, affectionate, funny and just plain wonderful. Except when it's time to lay down. It doesn't matter how tired she is. It doesn't matter if it's for a nap or if she's laying down for the night. It doesn't matter if I lay down with her, if I rock her, walk her or sing to her. She fights. When I say 'fight' I mean that she employs every method in her capabilites to stay awake. These methods may or may not include crying. Sometimes she'll be very quiet about in fact. She may play with her chubby little hands, she may try to play 'peek-a-boo', she may shake her head to keep herself awake (all this while her eyes would close if she would hold still for a moment) Or, she may employ more engergetic means of staying awake, This means that she'll throw her 'lovey' (without whom she won't go to sleep), she'll cry, she'll arch her back, she'll yank her (or my) hair, she'll 'screech' (not a sad sound but a hysterically funny one if you know what I mean), she'll blow raspberries, she'll kick anything and everything.

What I want to know is if this is a phase? Have your children fought so hard every single time they need to lay down? Do you have any ideas on how I can get her to calm down and not be so stressed about bedtime? I don't want her to be anxious about going to bed. I don't even 'make' her lay down until I know for sure that she is exausted. It's true that I don't lay her down in the crib and let her cry it out. But I really don't have the heart for that. She's all alone in that room, and I don't blame her for not wanting to go to sleep by herself. But when I try to cuddle her to sleep....she fights with all her soul! Help!!!!!!!

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Deafness

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JamieLynn

The list could be endless... things I am thinking about:
- does the baby have a certain sleeping ritual... eat, play and then sleep?
- is the room quiet/dark enough for her to fall asleep?
- how much stimuli does she get on a daily basis?
- how about taking her for a walk outside in order to get to sleep? (now that spring is upon us)

Just some first thoughts...

November Gypsy

Thanks for the answer! Well, yes, the room can be dark. I've tried both lighter and dark to see if she was afraid of the dark or something. No luck. I can make it pitch black or softly lit and it won't make a difference. She is a very active baby, consently on the go, so I don't think it can be that she hasn't had time to use up her engery. My usual system (for night-time sleeping) is play, dinner, quiet play/book/bath, lullabies, and then try to get her to bed. I've tried making the bedtime later even...no luck. The walk idea is a new one. I do take her now and again since it is warming up...but, by gosh, I'll try taking her next time it's warm out in the evening and see if that helps. Anything and everything is welcome. She has bad allergeries to pollen though so I have to be careful. Thanks for the thoughts Jamie!

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Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

November Gypsy

I mean, I'm a little desperate here. It's miserable to struggle with your baby for what can sometimes be two hours just to get her to lay down for an hour nap. Even when she does lay down at night she wakes up some 2-5 times a night, not to eat, but just because, apparently, she wants to be cuddled back to sleep...which I'm willing to do...but she isn't getting much in the way of restful sleep as far as I can see!

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Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

JamieLynn

You're welcome... Even though she isn't a teenager she's starting to rebel. If you haven't tried a walk, try it out... I used to do that while babysitting. Dany SO never wanted to go to sleep until the day I figured out to get him sleepy! It worked! Now don't get your hopes up too high because it still might not work...

Does she have a toy, blanket in bed? Have you tried a dark room with night light but still door closed and door opened... those things can be very tricky. I know that because my father told me I needed a black room, door closed and night light. It took my dad ages to figure that one out!

Hmm... that's all I can up with... I'll think about it some more...

And you're more than welcome

Jamie

Babyblue

As harsh it may sound. Sometimes you just have to put her to bed and let her fight it out. As hard it is for any mother to hear/see their child cry. Sometimes it is best to let the child get their frustration out. If the baby bed fed, changed and cared for. Sometimes it is best to leave them in their crib and close the door. The child has to learn to sooth him/herself, eventually they will learn to do so. check on her from time to time.

Overstimulated child will fight sleep, Sometimes by just being there cuddling will cause more stimulation.

shel90

I agree with u.

It sounds like your baby depends on you to fall asleep and is unable to fall asleep on her own hence all the wakings and wanting to be cuddled.

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Adamsmomma

I agree... sometimes Adam is a BEAR especially if he's TOO tired- or over stimulated. Our time at home in the evenings is short b/c of my hours at work-- so it's come home- eat, play in the play yard (baby corral) a while- then 'Teddy Bear and Blankie Time'... it's a stupid song I made up for him but he knows what it means... I turn the tv off about 30 min- an hour before bath/bed time and play soft music in the whole house... (just incase he does 'see the tv' even while he's playing. and gets to visually stimulated from that) Then it's clean diaper, jammies and BED... he has a blanket my mom crocheted and a couple small stuffies he loves to cuddle... sometimes I do let him take ba-ba (his bottle) with him I KNOW the experts say not to- but it's what works for him... Some nights he fights it-- and I let him fight it. (granted these nights he will usually wake up later in the night in a night terror) and sometimes he lays in his bed and talks to himself and his stuffies until he falls asleep-- and on nights the terrors are really bad I will take him to my room where it's cool and dark and we'll lay together-- usually takes about 10 minutes and he's OUT again and goes back to sleep in his bed.

Sometimes it's HARD to hear him crying but he has to learn to sleep on his own for the majority of the time.

Is it possible she's TOO tired?? He fights more if hes been up longer than usual and played hard, ya know??

Oh something else I do on occasion is baby massage w/a lavendar baby massage oil I bought... it seems to calm him some and helps him relax~ worth a shot, right??

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Proud Momma to a toddler who apparently has a unilateral profound hearing loss?!?! He's quickly learning to sign and talk more each day-- we're starting on a new journey of learning ASL together-- this is going to be a fun ride!!!

-- cheesing for the camera-- as always

Babyblue

I agree. with both Shel and Adams mom. I had to use this tactic before. It was hard, but my mom kept me out of her room, to let my daughter cry. About 15 minutes she was out like a light. If I would have stayed with her at that time. She would have fussed and fought with me for a few hours. She quickly learned, that Mommy is not going to keep fussing with her, to get her to sleep...

Best to just leave them alone when they are like that.

Took about a week or so, for my daughter to realize she can sleep on her own.

What a blessing that was!! It saved me and my daughter from going through a lot of grief!

Adamsmomma

Yeah Adam was doing SO good about just talking to himself and unwinding on his own until he started a new meds for seizures... OMG he's WIRED now- and it's making bedtime not so fun... but he still has to do it on his own--

after about 20 minutes or so of screaming I'll check and make sure he's ok... but he hollers UTOH... I know I need to check him-- he's thrown his 'baby' out of the bed usually and won't sleep w/out it!

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Proud Momma to a toddler who apparently has a unilateral profound hearing loss?!?! He's quickly learning to sign and talk more each day-- we're starting on a new journey of learning ASL together-- this is going to be a fun ride!!!

-- cheesing for the camera-- as always

Babyblue

Hate to say this!! Your little Adam is a smart one! He has found another tactic to get you back in the room, to get his 'baby' for him!

Adamsmomma

Yeah he's too smart for his own good right now LOL I usually wait a while to see if UTOH happens again... but I don't do anything other than hand him the baby and walk out-- don't even speak to him he looks at me like "WTF mom?? TALK TO ME!!!!" LOL

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Proud Momma to a toddler who apparently has a unilateral profound hearing loss?!?! He's quickly learning to sign and talk more each day-- we're starting on a new journey of learning ASL together-- this is going to be a fun ride!!!

-- cheesing for the camera-- as always

Babyblue

Awww, but Moommy!!!


Never underestimate the intelligence of toddlers! Or older infants!!


That just cracks me up Knowing the determinations of small children.

Babyblue

To add to my post! The thing is! It is a perfectly normal behavior, of small children!

Adamsmomma

That fact alone makes me happy... its 'normal' behavior... just like him throwing the carrots off his tray right now... he's exploring his environment... and mommys tolerance level lol

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Proud Momma to a toddler who apparently has a unilateral profound hearing loss?!?! He's quickly learning to sign and talk more each day-- we're starting on a new journey of learning ASL together-- this is going to be a fun ride!!!

-- cheesing for the camera-- as always

Babyblue

He sure does sounds like he is a cutie! And a handful.

Little ones are good at testing, and trying. Just to see if you will pick it up. Not sure if it is a game to them, or not.

but boundaries needs to be set after a few attempts.

Your post of your Little Adam, has brought back so many memories of when mine was about.. Adams age.

Jolie77

Everyone has posted so many excellent advices!

It sounds like your daughter is wanting to be cuddled more than anything else.

I have another thought - Is it possible that your daughter is at the age where she is teething? Some of the time when a baby at that age starts to teeth, they will try to fight against the sleepiness.

Perhaps, You could try reducing her nap time during the day time and by the time when bed time falls around, she might be too tired to stay awake?

I remember very well with both of my sons - they were quite the fighters and would not even go to sleep at all. I was at the point becoming so desperate and wanting them to go to sleep. So, one day - I came across an advice to reduce their nap time during the day and they were out like a light for their bed time.

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Isaiah 33:6 - "He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure."

Bottesini

The Victorian's swore by gin!! jk

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Adamsmomma

For baby or momma??

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Proud Momma to a toddler who apparently has a unilateral profound hearing loss?!?! He's quickly learning to sign and talk more each day-- we're starting on a new journey of learning ASL together-- this is going to be a fun ride!!!

-- cheesing for the camera-- as always

Babyblue

Perhaps both! JK!! I'm sure momma could use a stiff drink!



Orajel, anbesol, or a cold teething ring would be more appropriate for a baby!!
Some Baby Motrin also. To relieve the teething pain.

rockin'robin

My son did this...fought it for hours!...But I never let him cry himself out or to sleep! He had colic.....I was at my wits end!

I did buy a rocking chair! And also, I would rock him in my arms, in a "swinging motion"....sometimes that helped!...If all I tried failed, I did one last desperate thing!...And that was to put him in the car seat and take him for a ride!...In a few minutes, he was asleep! I also bought a waterfall for his room! He loved it....it's calming! There are times when you do have to get "firm"! But letting him cry himself to sleep, I would not do that!

Back in the "old days" a lot of mothers would put Bendryl into the baby's bottle....or give the baby sugar and water (warm).....I don't recommend that!

Could be ur baby has gas pains! Or the diaper on too tight?...Pajamas too tight??...Loose fitting pajamas is best!....Maybe a baby asprin before bedtime??...Maybe "separation anxiety from you? A night light is good too!

If nothing else works, maybe a talk with ur baby's doctor! "Motherhood" isn't easy, huh??

Babyblue

Fighting sleep, and separation anxiety is the most likely thing.

but you are right. If all else fails. Best to call the pediatrician.

jillio

Brandy works, too...and it tastes better in formula! j/k

Bottesini

:rofl2:

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jillio

Agree with the other moms. I had a sleep fighter, too. He still does it to this day, lol, and he's 23 now!

Once you have ruled out that the crying is caused by anything else, sometimes it is necessary for them to cry it out. Actually, it teaches them to learn to soothe themselves, and is a good thing developmentally. All children need to learn to soothe themselves. It is one of the first steps on that long road to independence.

Babyblue

Probably works wonders if mom is breast feeding, as well!

jillio

Heck, yeah! Mom and baby both get a good night's sleep!

shortmuse92

my little brother used to fight my mom when it came to sleep but she'd always hand him to me cause i had(and i'm not bragging or being gross) a bigger softer chest. and what i did was lay him in my arms and pace slowly and while pacing, swing him gently but always kept him close to my chest. sometimes i had to hold him a little tighter than others though cause he'd fight it. i swear that kid could kick the face off mike tyson (took 2 nurses to hold him down for a shot that boy is so STRONG)

Babyblue

Dang! He liked 'em pillows, you had!

Know what ya mean!!!

rockin'robin

HAHA! And it would knock both of them out for sure!