Parents snooping.. Invasion of privacy?

Babyblue

Babyblue

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Is snooping in your children or teens rooms considered as a parential right or an invasion of privacy?

My opinion it is a little bit of both. Leaning more to the parential right to make sure children are not doing something they are not suppose to since it is the parents responsibilty to make sure of the childrens safety and welfare.
 
Absolutely not. Parents need to make sure that the child isn't into something that can be dangerous. Drugs come to mind, but there are other things that could also be dangerous for kids. Kids are rarely totally honest. Therefore, the parent has a right to snoop to find out what the kid is into.
 
I think as a parent it is your responsibility to know what your kids are up to.

Sad that that may sometimes involve invading their privacy, but they will thank you later for being a good parent.
 
I think snooping just to be nosy is an invasion of privacy. But if you have cause to believe that something is being hidden from you, or that the child is engaged in some sort of illegal or negative activity, then, I think it is your duty to snoop. Like you said, parents are responsible for not just protecting their kids from others, but from themselves, as well.

I have often wondered, such as in the case of many of the school shootings, if parents had snooped a bit, could those shootings have been prevented. After the fact, it always comes out that there was much evidence of the kid's activities and plans right there in their own home.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Absolutely not. Parents need to make sure that the child isn't into something that can be dangerous. Drugs come to mind, but there are other things that could also be dangerous for kids. Kids are rarely totally honest. Therefore, the parent has a right to snoop to find out what the kid is into.
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I agree. I pretty much trust my kids but, I know that peer pressure is a bitch. So I do snoop every now and then to make sure.
 
America has too much freedom.. to be honest. It's getting to our kids. They're "pleading on the fifth." Other cultures are pretty strict with their children, especially if you observe those of asian or eastern orient influence.

You're only snooping too much if you know you are physically controlling each and every aspect of your child'(s) life. As in, what clothes they wear everyday, what food they eat at home, at school, who they can make friends with, what time they must do homework, where they must sit in class, which cartoons they can watch, and this list can go on.. for ALL at once, if they are mentally and physically capable of doing these on their own. And the thing is, some Asian parents like to do that.

Its really the anarchic teenagers making a big deal of the "invasion of privacy" of the first amendment even an issue..

But this is my opinion completely.
 
Nope, if it means keeping tabs on my kids and making sure they arent in trouble. I have this worse fear that my daughter would hook up with an older man and he would hurt her.
 
As long as the parent discusses the problem to make kids aware that something isn't right. To just play an FBI/ATF character on your kids - be prepared for their resentment. I'm not surprised kids will initiate some sort of harm against their parent due to their privacy being breached.
 
You know...

As I was reminiscing my teen years, I hated it when my mother would be snooping through my stuffs, reading my diary and journals. I felt that she was invading my privacy.

So, Is it right for a parent to be reading their child/children's diary/journals to see what is going on with their personal lives? Maybe it isn't a fine idea to do that but on the other hand, we all know that kids sometime can't be really upfront and honest about anything.

Does the parents claim that they are only doing it for their child's well being? Or are they just snooping in to only to satisfy their curiosity?

Now, If a child were to be upfront and honest about it, then the snooping issue wouldn't have to be in the picture but then again, I think it should be well balanced by letting the child have their own privacy because otherwise, if the child knew that the parents were snooping in - That will result in not building a trust foundation between the child and the parent. It also will diminish the child's confidence one way or another.

If there was something suspicious going on - Perhaps, snooping in could be reasonable but only if it is acted promptly. As for other than being suspicious, I think it should be left alone as it is.

Just my 2 cents.
 
Discussing it with them is the key. To just say NO and adding a guilt trip on top of their issues will just make things worst.
 
See, the thing some aren't catching is the fact that why are you even snooping on them in the first place:

For that, there's only two real explanations:
(1) - You genuinely care about your child and want to make sure they are OK, over what they are doing
(2) - You really have an OCD type of problem, whether psychological or stemming from something neurological. So in response, you exert these type of behaviors.

Most kids completely ignore 1 or do not see it, and assume 2 is the answer to all forms of parental snooping. What they aren't understanding is that some parents do it for the sake of goodwill of making sure they are okay.
 
I do not do it to satisfy my curiousity.

I do it to find out what my children are doing.

Children that actually resent are the ones that are hiding something.
 
S.O.B. said:
Discussing it with them is the key. To just say NO and adding a guilt trip on top of their issues will just make things worst.
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Agreed and of course, by laying everything out on the table will make things easier.

Like I said, Trust is also an important foundation.

Now that I've became a parent - I can see where my parents were coming from by ensuring their child's well being. We do it for a reason but the question is, how much snooping should be allowed or how much should it be controlled?

I just think it should be well balanced by letting the child have their own personal space but also, keep in mind, it should be enforced/maintained.
 
Jolie77 said:
You know...

As I was reminiscing my teen years, I hated it when my mother would be snooping through my stuffs, reading my diary and journals. I felt that she was invading my privacy.

So, Is it right for a parent to be reading their child/children's diary/journals to see what is going on with their personal lives? Maybe it isn't a fine idea to do that but on the other hand, we all know that kids sometime can't be really upfront and honest about anything.

Does the parents claim that they are only doing it for their child's well being? Or are they just snooping in to only to satisfy their curiosity?

Now, If a child were to be upfront and honest about it, then the snooping issue wouldn't have to be in the picture but then again, I think it should be well balanced by letting the child have their own privacy because otherwise, if the child knew that the parents were snooping in - That will result in not building a trust foundation between the child and the parent. It also will diminish the child's confidence one way or another.

If there was something suspicious going on - Perhaps, snooping in could be reasonable but only if it is acted promptly. As for other than being suspicious, I think it should be left alone as it is.

Just my 2 cents.
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I agree. A parent that snoops just to satisfy their own curiosity and to keep too much control over their children has their own issues they need to deal with. However, if they have suspicions, and don't want to accuse their child without more evidence, and are looking for something to support their suspicions that their child is engaged in something dangerous, then I don't see that there is a problem at all. One reason is controlling and intrusive and disrespectful. The other is responsible.
 
Babyblue said:
I do not do it to satisfy my curiousity.

I do it to find out what my children are doing.

Children that actually resent are the ones that are hiding something.
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And they will just make more effort to hide it better.
 
jillio said:
And they will just make more effort to hide it better.
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and you know what? I have thought of that. Sadly.

I do not control every aspect of my children.

I know I can not control everything they do. Children will learn from their mistakes. It is just so scary out there nowadays that I see and know what kids do..

The most lovable trusting children are committing crimes it is so sad.

Overprotective parent? NO.. I do allow my children to go with friends and hang out. I do give them freedom. That is why I snoop. To make sure they are not stepping out of their boundaries.

Is that considered as being controlling? or a good parent?

with society parents are blamed all the time for their childrens action. Parents that do not know what their children are doing because of the fact they are allowed so much privacy.
 
Babyblue said:
It is just so scary out there nowadays that I see and know what kids do..
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Just nowadays? Why do people always seem to think now is always worse than before? When was a time when everywhere was safer and people didn't do such terrible things?

I think that snooping around my child's stuff is an invasion of privacy. Plus I think that by giving a child more trust, s/he learns that it is fragile and not to be broken. That's what my parents did with me and I plan to do the same thing with my children. They always gave me trust when my peers' parents were assuming the worst about their own children, and I'm the one that ended up not pushing any boundaries because I felt no need or desire to.
 
Babyblue said:
and you know what? I have thought of that. Sadly.

I do not control every aspect of my children.

I know I can not control everything they do. Children will learn from their mistakes. It is just so scary out there nowadays that I see and know what kids do..

The most lovable trusting children are committing crimes it is so sad.

Overprotective parent? NO.. I do allow my children to go with friends and hang out. I do give them freedom. That is why I snoop. To make sure they are not stepping out of their boundaries.

Is that considered as being controlling? or a good parent?

with society parents are blamed all the time for their childrens action. Parents that do not know what their children are doing because of the fact they are allowed so much privacy.
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I would not consider you to be a controlling parent. I would consider you to be an aware, realistic, informed parent, and that is very good indeed.
 
jillio said:
I agree. A parent that snoops just to satisfy their own curiosity and to keep too much control over their children has their own issues they need to deal with. However, if they have suspicions, and don't want to accuse their child without more evidence, and are looking for something to support their suspicions that their child is engaged in something dangerous, then I don't see that there is a problem at all. One reason is controlling and intrusive and disrespectful. The other is responsible.
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Precisely. I'm not saying that all parents are like that. I was raising a point to this because in some cases, I've seen how parents would be putting down their child's self esteem or confidence because of the lack of trust that comes in play.

I don't see it as a problem if one is being responsible about it and being well informed of this. It is always dicey because being skeptical about the invasion of one's privacy can really go out of proportion if one were to allow it blow front of your face.
 
Nika said:
Just nowadays? Why do people always seem to think now is always worse than before? When was a time when everywhere was safer and people didn't do such terrible things?

I think that snooping around my child's stuff is an invasion of privacy. Plus I think that by giving a child more trust, s/he learns that it is fragile and not to be broken. That's what my parents did with me and I plan to do the same thing with my children. They always gave me trust when my peers' parents were assuming the worst about their own children, and I'm the one that ended up not pushing any boundaries because I felt no need or desire to.
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Easier said than done. When you have children of your own. You will truly understand the aspect of it.

How do you know if your parents snooped on you or not? :)
 
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