Shut up and sign!!!!

deafbajagal · 12-31-2007, 09:30 PM

Someone please tell me what you think I should do. I have two wonderful hearing daughters - ages 6 and 1. The 6 year old sometimes will talk without signing to me. She is fluent in both languages, and she clearly knows I'm Deaf and uses signing to communicate.

How should I handle this?

(I will never tell her to "shut up" - that's just plain rude, haha).

Angel · 12-31-2007, 10:28 PM

That's normal coming from a hearing child, I have 3 hearing sons, and they often talk to me without signing, I'm not able to understand my 8 years old sometimes so we're working on getting them to do both, sign and talk at the same time, let them get used to it, then they will start doing it more often.

***VamPyroX*** · 01-01-2008, 03:01 AM

They're young. They will sometimes forget that they need to sign to you. Simply remind them to repeat in sign language.

farmerjoe · 01-01-2008, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VamPyroX

They're young. They will sometimes forget that they need to sign to you. Simply remind them to repeat in sign language.

I agree with this, their young minds cannot grasp a complex concept as deafness.

shel90 · 01-01-2008, 09:57 AM

My daughter is 10 and still doesnt sign back to me even though I sign to her without my voice. I keep reminding her to sign but she keeps forgetting.

jillio · 01-01-2008, 10:18 AM

Agree with the others. It is just the nature of a child. They forget. Infact, that used to be one of my son's favorite phrases when I would ask him if he had done something he was supposed to do yet. "Forgot."

restless_heart · 01-01-2008, 12:56 PM

I have two hearing children. I never push them to learn to sign. We don't use sign, unless if they want to. When they ask me to learn some signs, I was happy to teach them. My daughter is learning to sign to talk with my hubby because maybe times he doesn't understand her. She would sign if she needs to speak with me private about personal matters. I never sign back.

GalaxyAngel · 01-01-2008, 01:20 PM

That normal for children...

I do use voice and sign.. Mostly I don't use my voice while use SIGN all the time.. My children can understand me 100% I lurv my son (Riker) can sign without his voice.. LOL
Even his friends begged him what he saying? He laughed.. and also front of MIL and FIL.. They wanted him use voice all the time.. and think not very nice.. But They have to learn respect us.. because we are Deaf.. so then really not necessary use voice sign.. So!

I still enjoy my son (Riker) (chuckles)
My daughter still using her voice sort of Loud of mouth! *sigh*
My older son is still both voice and sign too.. Not even bother at all.. When Parent are here.. he'll use sign front of me while talk his sister or bro..

Pretty good respect us.. sometime not respect us.. LOL
That normal for children can may be forgot..

deafbajagal · 01-01-2008, 01:36 PM

I wonder if hearing children from hearing parents who are not native English speakers face the same issue? Do they forget and speak in English to their parents?

Cheri · 01-01-2008, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by restless_heart

I have two hearing children. I never push them to learn to sign. We don't use sign, unless if they want to. When they ask me to learn some signs, I was happy to teach them. My daughter is learning to sign to talk with my hubby because maybe times he doesn't understand her. She would sign if she needs to speak with me private about personal matters. I never sign back.

I'm with you 100 percent, I too have two hearing children, I never once force them to learn my language just because I'm deaf simply because it isn't all about me, it's about my children and their language. It's like forcing a deaf child to speak because a child has hearing parents who doesn't use signs. It's not right in my opinion. You just got to see in their world from your own.

If you want your children to sign, then you got to go half way with them and speak for them. It's a two way street.

jillio · 01-01-2008, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafbajagal

I wonder if hearing children from hearing parents who are not native English speakers face the same issue? Do they forget and speak in English to their parents?

I'm sure they do. My grandmother was a native German speaker, and my dad often forgot to address her in German.

horselover61 · 01-01-2008, 09:59 PM

I do have hearing son and I dont force him to sign but sometimes I have hard time understand him. I just wish he would be able to sign to me so that way I can understand him. Time will tell.

Handsome_Smiley · 01-01-2008, 10:17 PM

we tell ethan he has to sign and we yell at him. He will sign to mom with out a problem if I am not home

Peachy Lady · 01-02-2008, 09:56 AM

All our five children have signed since they were about five months old and all of them are hearing. Sign language is their first language. The only time we ask them to sign 100% is during meal times. When they want to talk during meal times, they must sign. The reason for this is to keep improving their signing skills. At other times, not during the meal time they can talk with each other without using sign language and whenever they talk with me or my husband they always use sign language. I sometime use just my voice when talking with our children, other time I do not use my voice and just sign with them. Keeping in balance and they're used to different methods of communication. It turned out very well.

PowerON · 01-02-2008, 01:22 PM

give her lot of peanut butter and she wouldn't able to speak

I got that idea from FoxTrot.

deafbajagal · 01-02-2008, 06:18 PM

I feel much better now...thanks

. Peanut butter idea, LOL!!!

shel90 · 01-02-2008, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheri

I'm with you 100 percent, I too have two hearing children, I never once force them to learn my language just because I'm deaf simply because it isn't all about me, it's about my children and their language. It's like forcing a deaf child to speak because a child has hearing parents who doesn't use signs. It's not right in my opinion. You just got to see in their world from your own.

If you want your children to sign, then you got to go half way with them and speak for them. It's a two way street.

If the deaf person has lipreading and speech skills, then that would be fine. If the deaf person doesnt, then communication would cosntantly break down between the deaf person and the child. Some deaf people just are unable to develop any lipreading or speech skills so these are situations when the child has to sign in order for communication to be effective. MY brother has a hard time understanding my daughter so she has to start signing when he visits. My daughter is really good about signing with my deaf friends who have no speech or lipreading skills but she knows that I have them so she reverts to the language she is more comfortable with. It is so interesting to see that.

Silentwolfdog · 01-02-2008, 08:21 PM

That remind me never to get children. ^^; I don't like the idea that children forgot to sign despite knowing I will not understand them at all.

Cheri · 01-02-2008, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

If the deaf person has lipreading and speech skills, then that would be fine. If the deaf person doesnt, then communication would cosntantly break down between the deaf person and the child. Some deaf people just are unable to develop any lipreading or speech skills so these are situations when the child has to sign in order for communication to be effective. MY brother has a hard time understanding my daughter so she has to start signing when he visits. My daughter is really good about signing with my deaf friends who have no speech or lipreading skills but she knows that I have them so she reverts to the language she is more comfortable with. It is so interesting to see that.

Then if a deaf person has no spoken language, or cannot lip-reading others, then I would understand why children should be able to use signs with their parents. That would be the same goes for hearing parents to learn a new language if their deaf child doesn't have any speech skills.

Liebling:-))) · 01-10-2008, 07:44 AM

We sign with voice with our boys since they were babies. The reason we are doing because we want them know what we are as the same as we want to know what they are.

Until they were little, they understood prefect when my hubby & I sign without voice (we thought we do it private without them know but they understood us...

- we do it private without them around). Sometimes I sign without voice to my boys.

We use German sign language and speak German, not English and British sign language. They know sign language automatic thru look at us signing like hearing children know how to speak thru look at their hearing parents.

Sometimes my boys sign to me private without their friends know... like private... My boys's friends were like

and

Let it be natural and stay what you are, not change everything for them because they are hearing...

deafbajagal · 01-10-2008, 10:04 PM

Thanks everyone for responding. I feel much better now

.

deafmama78 · 01-11-2008, 04:24 AM

I have two hearing children, and they both know some signs, but they prefer talking to me because they know I can hear and understand them so well without having to sign, but they do know signs & are learning new signs everyday for emergencies like when I lost my voice, when I can't wear my HA/CI, sore throat, or whatever. They are very interested in learning new signs & remembering what they've known but for now they just forget to use signs, so I let them talk because I know that as they get older, they will get more interested in signing again & will sign more with me. So, I'm not that worried right now.

Just do what you feel comfortable doing with your children & ignore others if they get upset. I've had friends who were upset with me for not forcing my kids to sign! :/

Aleser · 01-11-2008, 04:46 AM

The 6 year old may have no "concept" of deafness- try and get her to cover her ears (like with hands or earmuffs) and then speak to her, and then sign to her- that might create the connection that speech = not understood and sign = understood.

kmjbmama · 01-31-2008, 01:43 PM

Hi... It's been a LONG time since I've visited this website so I am sorry if this is a little late. LOL

I am the mother of 4 precious children and all of them KNOW sign as well as my husband who is hearing. FYI, my kids are 9, 6, 4. and 3 and I used to struggle with them sometimes when they talk without signing. As a general rule of the house, if I'm in the room, they must start signing or leave the room. LOL

Anyway, my husband and I decided to make it a game. We would set a certain time where they are not permitted to use their voice. At first, we would set it for 30 minutes daily and then gradually add more time... we still play that game almost daily and the kids seem to enjoy it.

Just play with it and see when the best time is and how much they can handle and remember, just have fun! Just throwing an idea out there...

Tousi · 01-31-2008, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Silentwolfdog

That remind me never to get children. ^^; I don't like the idea that children forgot to sign despite knowing I will not understand them at all.

You sure that's a good reason not to have children of your own? It doesn't take that long and your child will remember to sign to you a lot quicker, especially if you're a lousy lip-reader, lol.....

GarnetTigerMom · 01-31-2008, 03:22 PM

I use both sign asl with my voice to my daughter, so when she get a little older she will understand mommy signs because she deaf. So when She get to be at a certain age to ask me question what is deaf and why I'm deaf I will be able to explain that to her when she older.

12-31-2007, 09:30 PM	#1 (permalink)
deafbajagal Jasmine's Tiger "Lilly" Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,801	Shut up and sign!!!! Someone please tell me what you think I should do. I have two wonderful hearing daughters - ages 6 and 1. The 6 year old sometimes will talk without signing to me. She is fluent in both languages, and she clearly knows I'm Deaf and uses signing to communicate. How should I handle this? (I will never tell her to "shut up" - that's just plain rude, haha).

01-01-2008, 03:01 AM	#3 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 26,478	They're young. They will sometimes forget that they need to sign to you. Simply remind them to repeat in sign language. __________________ Check out my city... CLICK HERE! (If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

01-01-2008, 09:57 AM	#5 (permalink)
shel90 Sun Whorshipper Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: A Desert Rat that has found herself in Maryland Posts: 13,538 Blog Entries: 1	My daughter is 10 and still doesnt sign back to me even though I sign to her without my voice. I keep reminding her to sign but she keeps forgetting. __________________ ~Shel~

01-01-2008, 12:56 PM	#7 (permalink)
restless_heart ...Forever undefeated... Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: somewhere in the mountain, Pennsylvania Posts: 908	I have two hearing children. I never push them to learn to sign. We don't use sign, unless if they want to. When they ask me to learn some signs, I was happy to teach them. My daughter is learning to sign to talk with my hubby because maybe times he doesn't understand her. She would sign if she needs to speak with me private about personal matters. I never sign back. __________________ Path to Perfection 18-0

01-01-2008, 01:20 PM	#8 (permalink)
GalaxyAngel That's me! Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Ontario,Canada Posts: 13,455	That normal for children... I do use voice and sign.. Mostly I don't use my voice while use SIGN all the time.. My children can understand me 100% I lurv my son (Riker) can sign without his voice.. LOL Even his friends begged him what he saying? He laughed.. and also front of MIL and FIL.. They wanted him use voice all the time.. and think not very nice.. But They have to learn respect us.. because we are Deaf.. so then really not necessary use voice sign.. So! I still enjoy my son (Riker) (chuckles) My daughter still using her voice sort of Loud of mouth! sigh My older son is still both voice and sign too.. Not even bother at all.. When Parent are here.. he'll use sign front of me while talk his sister or bro.. Pretty good respect us.. sometime not respect us.. LOL That normal for children can may be forgot.. __________________ Parents' proud of Logan.

Today
Deafness	Sponsored Links __________________ This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

12-31-2007, 10:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
Angel Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 18,695	That's normal coming from a hearing child, I have 3 hearing sons, and they often talk to me without signing, I'm not able to understand my 8 years old sometimes so we're working on getting them to do both, sign and talk at the same time, let them get used to it, then they will start doing it more often.

01-01-2008, 10:18 AM	#6 (permalink)
jillio Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 16,424	Agree with the others. It is just the nature of a child. They forget. Infact, that used to be one of my son's favorite phrases when I would ask him if he had done something he was supposed to do yet. "Forgot."

01-01-2008, 01:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
deafbajagal Jasmine's Tiger "Lilly" Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,801	I wonder if hearing children from hearing parents who are not native English speakers face the same issue? Do they forget and speak in English to their parents?

01-01-2008, 09:59 PM	#12 (permalink)
horselover61 Neigh!!! Neigh!!! Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 5,183 Blog Entries: 2	I do have hearing son and I dont force him to sign but sometimes I have hard time understand him. I just wish he would be able to sign to me so that way I can understand him. Time will tell. __________________ Check out my city!! http://furbyland.myminicity.com/

01-01-2008, 10:17 PM	#13 (permalink)
Handsome_Smiley Deaf by marriage Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Stationed in Grafenwoehr, Germany Posts: 946	we tell ethan he has to sign and we yell at him. He will sign to mom with out a problem if I am not home __________________ My Mini City \|Move into the city \| Open up a business \| Help with the roads \|My Mini City

01-02-2008, 09:56 AM	#14 (permalink)
Peachy Lady Not from Georgia. Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 2,068	All our five children have signed since they were about five months old and all of them are hearing. Sign language is their first language. The only time we ask them to sign 100% is during meal times. When they want to talk during meal times, they must sign. The reason for this is to keep improving their signing skills. At other times, not during the meal time they can talk with each other without using sign language and whenever they talk with me or my husband they always use sign language. I sometime use just my voice when talking with our children, other time I do not use my voice and just sign with them. Keeping in balance and they're used to different methods of communication. It turned out very well. __________________

01-02-2008, 01:22 PM	#15 (permalink)
PowerON Please don't click me! D: Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Would like to live at Fort Davis, TX Posts: 3,948 Blog Entries: 1	give her lot of peanut butter and she wouldn't able to speak I got that idea from FoxTrot. __________________ "If you trust every Web site but not a government ... There are so many Web sites, so much hearsay. These are not official. It is possible that all news on the Internet is accurate?" - Coach Lu

01-02-2008, 06:18 PM	#16 (permalink)
deafbajagal Jasmine's Tiger "Lilly" Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,801	I feel much better now...thanks . Peanut butter idea, LOL!!!

01-02-2008, 08:21 PM	#18 (permalink)
Silentwolfdog a toku fangirl Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Earth Posts: 689	That remind me never to get children. ^^; I don't like the idea that children forgot to sign despite knowing I will not understand them at all. __________________ If you are using red or blue font, there's a good chance that I am not reading your posts due to it being blended into background! I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. ~Sarah William Check my art at http://silentwolfdog.deviantart.com

01-10-2008, 07:44 AM	#20 (permalink)
Liebling:-))) Hiiiiiii it's meeeeee Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Germany Posts: 24,839	We sign with voice with our boys since they were babies. The reason we are doing because we want them know what we are as the same as we want to know what they are. Until they were little, they understood prefect when my hubby & I sign without voice (we thought we do it private without them know but they understood us... - we do it private without them around). Sometimes I sign without voice to my boys. We use German sign language and speak German, not English and British sign language. They know sign language automatic thru look at us signing like hearing children know how to speak thru look at their hearing parents. Sometimes my boys sign to me private without their friends know... like private... My boys's friends were like and Let it be natural and stay what you are, not change everything for them because they are hearing... __________________ sniffing you

01-10-2008, 10:04 PM	#21 (permalink)
deafbajagal Jasmine's Tiger "Lilly" Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 1,801	Thanks everyone for responding. I feel much better now .

01-11-2008, 04:24 AM	#22 (permalink)
deafmama78 Deaf Mama! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Somewhere in the US. Posts: 398	I have two hearing children, and they both know some signs, but they prefer talking to me because they know I can hear and understand them so well without having to sign, but they do know signs & are learning new signs everyday for emergencies like when I lost my voice, when I can't wear my HA/CI, sore throat, or whatever. They are very interested in learning new signs & remembering what they've known but for now they just forget to use signs, so I let them talk because I know that as they get older, they will get more interested in signing again & will sign more with me. So, I'm not that worried right now. Just do what you feel comfortable doing with your children & ignore others if they get upset. I've had friends who were upset with me for not forcing my kids to sign! :/ __________________ -DeafMama78 Implanted [right ear]: May 17, 2007 w/ Freedom! Activated: June 21, 2007 & lovin' it! Implanted [left ear]: May 8th, 2008 w/ Freedom! Activation: May 28th, 2008 Offically a bilateral CI'er!

01-11-2008, 04:46 AM	#23 (permalink)
Aleser Woosh. Yes, Woosh. Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 451	The 6 year old may have no "concept" of deafness- try and get her to cover her ears (like with hands or earmuffs) and then speak to her, and then sign to her- that might create the connection that speech = not understood and sign = understood. __________________ "I swear by my life, and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."

01-31-2008, 01:43 PM	#24 (permalink)
kmjbmama It's PB & J time! Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 47	Hi... It's been a LONG time since I've visited this website so I am sorry if this is a little late. LOL I am the mother of 4 precious children and all of them KNOW sign as well as my husband who is hearing. FYI, my kids are 9, 6, 4. and 3 and I used to struggle with them sometimes when they talk without signing. As a general rule of the house, if I'm in the room, they must start signing or leave the room. LOL Anyway, my husband and I decided to make it a game. We would set a certain time where they are not permitted to use their voice. At first, we would set it for 30 minutes daily and then gradually add more time... we still play that game almost daily and the kids seem to enjoy it. Just play with it and see when the best time is and how much they can handle and remember, just have fun! Just throwing an idea out there... __________________ kmjbmama

01-31-2008, 03:22 PM	#26 (permalink)
GarnetTigerMom Registered User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Virginia Posts: 4,590	I use both sign asl with my voice to my daughter, so when she get a little older she will understand mommy signs because she deaf. So when She get to be at a certain age to ask me question what is deaf and why I'm deaf I will be able to explain that to her when she older. __________________ GarnetTigerMom "The rain may be falling hard outside, But your smile makes it all alright. I'm so glad that you're my friend. I know our friendship will never end." -- Robert Alan

01-31-2008, 04:08 PM	#27 (permalink)
ScubaladyTx Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: USA Posts: 1,200