deafdyke

EVERYONE........this girl has PROFOUND MR.

PROFOUND MR. She's essentially a BABY! This is a FAR cry from sterializing dhh folks, or mild mr folks or other disabled folks.
One thing that nobody's brought up as of yet, is that MR folks are at HUGE risk for being sexually abused. especially those with profound and severe MR (b/c they can't tell anyone about it) What's better? Her being sterilzed or her being sexually abused in a home so she gets pregnant?

Deafness

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Liebling:-)))

I noticed some of you support mother's decision. Did you read the link, I provided on my post #7?

Mother seeks girl's hysterectomy

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Liebling:-)))

Yes, that's right.

We can tell that they have CP but they have their good intelligence and moviation.

Like what I said in my previous post that CP person I used work at same building in London at years ago before I moved and live in Germany. She is a pride person and won't let anyone affect her disablity. She work well like anyone.

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Liebling:-)))

Yes, that's what I thought so.

The problem is the some parents have lack of their exposure, education and awareness how to develop their children in positive way.

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Liebling:-)))

A deaf lady, I frequent met at deaf festivals in the past. I met her again last Friday. Of course I brought this subject up to her because I know she has a 16 years old brain damaged daughter thru lack of oxygen at birth. The reason I asked her because she herself is mother of severe disablitly teenager. She do not support mother's decision and said that CP is not bad and CAN develop successful only if the parents focus deeper how to develop their CP child in positive way. She decided to put her daughter to nursing care because she beleive that the nursing care have expert hands how to care of her daughter. She visit to see her there every weekends and brought her home with her during holidays. I respect her decision when she know she can't take care of her. What she did is great because she did not abuse her or whatever. She said that her daughter's development is good.

I would advise the mother to put her daughter to nursing care if she feel it's too much for her. I see no excuse for remove part of her human to save her stress...

The situation over Terri Schavio got me second thought after watch on true movie with subtitles about the Furniture company owner and his 17 years old daughter who have similar situation as Terri Shavio after motor bike accident last summer. I can see thru their movie how hard they work to develop their daughter with the help from therapies and plus in Switerzland as well. It took them 7 years to work hard to improve their daughter's development. It belongs good patience... She is able to walk at last but with the help from crutches... and can speak word to word now and can speak on the phone... I am sure that she will not need crutches anymore few years later... Some doctors are speechless and said that the love for daughter work best than any medicine... Those movie make me (I will search the German movie and know German actor and will try to find English link...) Those movie wake me up and got me second thought about Terri's situation. I guess it could improve her development due their patience and work hard... but Michael gave up because the doctors said so that there're no hope for her which is an exact same what the doctors said to company owner of daughter but the company owner ignored the doctor and refused to accept the fact and fought and fought. He & his family DID it successful...

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Audiofuzzy

Not every cerebral palsy is mentally retarded- but unfortunately Katie is, and severly.


Fuzzy

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A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
Mohandas Gandhi
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Audiofuzzy

And who will be taking care of Katie and Katie's children if Katie's mother suddenly dies?

Fuzzy

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A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
Mohandas Gandhi
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Liebling:-)))

Simple answer - the CPS/government will take her over as their guardian automatic if she has no relatives to take care of her... If she have relatives then up to their decision either they can take care of her or put her nursing home.

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Liebling:-)))

I don't like it

Ashley - the disability perspective
BBC NEWS | Health | Ashley - the disability perspective

The parents should put Ashley nursing care home if they are unable to take care of her.

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Maria

Patience always paid off through unconditional love. Without love, there's no hope to success. Michael has no patience. Now, this CP girl's mother is next. She has no patience, either. I don't understand why some people have no patience when I knew there's a " bright " side ahead. It takes time and work through, no matter how long it takes. Patience is a virtue and will win at the end with happiness.
I know the story of Terri Schavio and it made me tears, too. I am glad she is in peace now. She's with her Maker in heaven.

horselover61

I dont support this but the mother can give PONSTEL to her daughter. It is help to less the pain and all the side effect of the period. I had them in the past and love those medication. It help me and now I dont need it anymore cuz it have change after I had my son.

Cheri

I did not say all cerebral palsy people are so much alike, she does have lack of motor skills because she cannot walk or talk, but that can be helped if her mother have given her the right proper care, what has the mother done beside changing, feeding her daughter? Have her mother had given her daughter the proper care that she needs? While there is no cure for CP, but there is treatment, and therapy.

I think the mother doesn't want to deal with her daughter's menstruation, she'll be the one changing her. People don't realized that parents sometimes want an easy way out by going overboard with surgeries which is not even a medical requirement, thinking that it will improve the quality of life of her daughter.

It's even more depressing that parents don't have enough confidence in believing in their children that their children can have a quality of life when a proper care is there for the parents to grab that opportunity, instead of grabbing that opportunity, they seek to remove organs from their children's body, and I for one think it is wrong.

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Angel

Well, the truth is when a parent first learns that their child has a disability, they will go through a process of grieving such as feeling shock, anger or don't know what to do etc.. and each child will develop different abilities and talents..When a parent have a child with cerebral palsy, they would need to research and find an expert physician that knows more about rasing children with cerebral palsy and the kind of treatment and therapy that would be best use to improve the life of the child with cerebral palsy....Since Katie is unable to speak or walk, makes me wonder if her mother ever seek treatment for physical and speech therapist for her daughter ?...A parent is suppose to be one of the most important people in the child's life and yet I don't see her mother is doing all she can for her daugther's disability....Of course we all know that once a parent who has a child with disability is more concerned about their child's future etc but If the parents accept the child, the child will then accept himself/herself and get all the help they need for their children...

I've read a story in a magazine about a child with cerebral palsy before and yes raising children with cerebral palsy can be difficult, but with the right treatment and therapy, these children can go on living a happy life...

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Reba

I would add that, even if the surgery prevents impregnation, I hope her mom and the staff still watch out for signs of sexual abuse. Treating someone like an inflatible sex toy, or infecting her with an STD is still an awful possibility.

One more point. Children with multiple physical and mental handicaps grow into big adults with those same or worse problems. Maybe mom can take care of cute little 40-lb daughter for several years at home. But what about taking care of a 40-year-old daughter who can't do for herself, 24/7/365? What about elderly mom who can't lift 120-lb., 5'-8" daughter?

Who has walked a mile in her shoes?

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Angel

Reba, are you saying that this is all the mother did was pamper her daughter all those years without any proper treatment or therapy?...


What about parents who takes care of their mother/father or their grandparents at home who is unable to take care of themselves?...I remember my grandmother took care of her mother who was ill for a long time, she had to carry her to the bathroom, bath her, feed her, dress her, and doing many other things too..and what about children or adult like Christopher Reeve, who is paralyzed ?...

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Liebling:-)))

Yes, that´s right.

I remember from watch true movie from TV (see my response post toward Maria). The parents are terrible upset. A mother don´t want to do anything with daughter and don´t want to see her... A father (furniture company owner) are the one who is fighter... At first he took it very badly after learn terrible new from the doctor after motor bike accident. He desired to end her life with pillow to press her face but he gave up and cried.... Spend his time on his daughter and search... search.... search how to help his daughter.... Few months mother miss her daughter and want to have her back with them... It begin to work on her... (see my response to Maria)... They love her death and work hard on her... that´s why those situation got me second thought about Terri Schavio´s situation because her case is an exactly similar as Terri...

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Liebling:-)))

I know what it alike because we took care of my hubby´s 90 years old Aunt for 4 years. It´s work hard to neglect our time on our family life... We decided to put her to Nursing home after stair accdient and rushed to hospitail... One day after that she died. I would say that there´re no comparison between severe metal handciapped and elders.

For elders, you need to take care of is like a big baby, sure it does the same with some severe handicapped children/adult but I would say to take care of severe handicapped children/adult is more work harder than elders.

For severe handicapped children/adult, you need to take care of is develop them positive with good treatments with the help from many therapies. You need someone´s help/support... That´s why I would compare severe handicapped children/adult with Terri Schavio´s case, not elders. I learn from TV (see my response to Maria and Angel) and realized that it´s work harder on severe handicapped children/adult than elders. I respect my friend´s decision for put her teenage daughter to Nursing home that she is able to visit to see her every weekends and have her home for holidays.

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Angel

What do you mean second thoughts about Terri Schavio? Are you saying you wish you did not agree with her husband?...

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Liebling:-)))

Yes, that´s right. I thought I support Michael´s decision to save Terri´s suffer but I am wrong after learn from the true movie on TV. I do realize that professional opinion/view are not alway correct.

I wish to disagree with his decision and support Terri´s parents in first place. I do wish that Michael search deep more instead of listen doctor´s side after learn from the true movie about daughter... Father is stubborn and refuse to accept the fact what the doctor/professor said to him about his daughter... He fought and fought until he did it sucessful with his daughter´s development. I wish Michael should do the same. Michael was in my thought during watch that movie and tried to picture him to fight to improve Terri´s development with the help from Terri´s parents but he gave up because he listen doctor/professor.

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Angel

Wow, I'm just speechless...That's another reason why Cheri and I were so against the idea of her husband removing the feeding tube from Terri...and if she had a living will, then that would be a entire different story...but she didn't , it was his word against hers....

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Cheri

And who has walked a mile in the daughter's shoes? It easy for people to say well I applause the mother for doing what she thinks is best, every parents thinks they do what they think is best, but it's not always true, None of us is going to make the right decision every time.

Let's not forget she's a human being, she is just different from you and I, but it still does not give anyone a right to make decision to give her a hysterectomy, it's her body. How can one decide for her when nothing is written in stone.

How do we know this is the best interest for her daughter, and not for her mother's own ease?

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Maria

There's always relatives who will be there for her.

Liza

This whole idea of enforced sterilization looks like a slippery slope here because of the ethics. It has nothing to do with a person's mental development for me.. I'm not just the type to take a cold, clinical approach when it comes to people (probably known for having my walls up, though!).

If I was Katie's mother, I would look for resources - like maybe a counselor or an expert who know how to handle the traumas of becoming an adult, and to teach Katie in ways her mother couldn't conceive of. There are bound to be peeps who have been there before, and could give Katie's mother some relief in taking care of Katie.

GarnetTigerMom

Ahh let say it a person was or suppose she was mentally retarded or austism. I have seem some parents have their daughters fix so they couldn't have children. Beacuse how can they care for baby if she was raped or worst? So it a risk for them. Can they handle it? maybe few and some can't. I saw a show on birthing show about a woman who was in a wheel chair from the neck down she can't use her body and she also have
cerebral palsy as well. She is married to her husband and they decied to have a baby. But the husband is the one taking care of her needs and her health. So when I saw her on the show birthing show,, she pregnant and had to go through C-section cuz of her health. I don't know how she could have handle that. Because It must be hard on the husband taking care of them both and then she tells the show she which she could do all that instead of her husband but she can't. I am sure it was hard on her for not being able to do do those things for her baby that a normal mother would do. Some say it was cruel,, other says it was brave of her. So I can't judge her but it sadded me to see that situation.

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

Audiofuzzy

Oh, so it's OK to dump Kate and her hypothetical children on her relatives just because they are relatives? what if they do not wish to be handed over such a burden?

Fuzzy

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A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
Mohandas Gandhi
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Audiofuzzy

Deafdyke, Reba - very good posts, too bad your excellent points will be ignored.

Fuzzy

__________________
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A 'No' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'Yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble.
Mohandas Gandhi
.

Tousi

No, they won't. Reba, especially, has the knowledge, compassion, and maturity evident in all her posts and many of us have no problem changing our stance/mind on many topics because she does it with respect, unlike certain others here I can think of. Sound about right to you, Fuzz?

Angel

:ahem: *I* think everyone in this thread had made some good points in their posts, it's just too bad that you didn't have time to read over them carefully....


Hope you will have a good evening Fuzzy....

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Maria

Well, it obviously to me that you would dump your CP child, if it were in your shoes ? I don't think you would want to care of your CP child in your hands, if you give birth a CP child. You would probably want to remove your CP child's womb so you don't have to worry about takin' responsibility of her welfare. I wouldn't be surprised if you were just like CP girl's mother in the article.

Cheri

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Avoid being a victim of a stroke, a stroke can happen to anyone at anytime. You will never know how devastating this could be until you had live through it. It affects everybody. So Support Stroke Awareness to find a cure and hope.