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Old 07-28-2007, 07:40 PM   #1 (permalink)
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do you spank your child?

if yes, explain why............

When I was little, I got spanked a few times because of wrong attitude.

Feel free to discuss.
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Old 07-29-2007, 02:02 AM   #2 (permalink)
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We discussed in my thread.

http://www.alldeaf.com/parenting/203...ind-abuse.html
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Old 07-29-2007, 07:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Not now. She's almost 34 years old!

When she was little, yes, I did spank her when she was disobedient.

She's fine now.
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Old 07-29-2007, 07:56 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Sorry, I believe every kid needs it when they misbehave. I also believe not to over due it too. no more then 3 spanks, plus 2 warnings before spanking too. Some kids won't listen unless the parents show them they are incharge, not the kids.
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Old 07-29-2007, 10:06 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Handsome_Smiley View Post
Sorry, I believe every kid needs it when they misbehave. I also believe not to over due it too. no more then 3 spanks, plus 2 warnings before spanking too. Some kids won't listen unless the parents show them they are incharge, not the kids.
Yes i argree with you. Look at many teenager people are very rebelling. I had to spank my son after 2 warning. Time out are not working sometime because kids can be very stubborn. I dont understand why people say spank is part of abuse but why kids are so stubborn. I got spank from my dad. I didn't against him for that because He taught me to respect. I see many kids think Time out are so easy than spanking because They can report police that if parent try spank them. Sad. They can get in trouble what they want. Ugly
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Old 07-30-2007, 06:22 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Spank doesn't solve anything but worst and rebel...
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Old 07-30-2007, 06:35 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Liebling:-))) View Post
Spank doesn't solve anything but worst and rebel...
Yup I agree with you. It does not solve anything at all in my sight, but more drama and rebel.

Also I see spanking on a child is a children abuse.
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Old 07-30-2007, 07:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Hubby and I were spanked as kids, and we don't have any emotional scars from that experience.

Spanking didn't hurt my daughter. She didn't grow into a rebel or drama queen. She's a very mature, calm person with a beautiful family. She spanked her kids when they were little, and they don't have any rebellion or emotional problems.

Calm, controlled spanking is not abuse. Disciplinary spanking is not the same as beating a child.

Not all children need spanking, but it's an option for those who do. Some kids are very sensitive, and require only mom's scowling eyebrow to stop their behavior. Other kids are more stubborn and require physical discipline to get the point across. Some kids would prefer physical pain to a lecture from disappointed parents. Parents have to figure out what works out best for each child.
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Old 07-30-2007, 08:14 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by PuyoPiyo View Post
Also I see spanking on a child is a children abuse.
I respectfully disagree, question of child discipline spanking is not a form of child abuse, but I believe beating a child repeatably is a form of child abuse.

I believe spanking is a good form of discipline when a child did something very wrongful, even if you tried other disciplines and they aren't working, spanking is the answer, but I don't believe parents should often repeats the spanking whenever the child misbehaves, there are many other disciplines options that works for each child, but beating a child is not one of them.
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Old 07-30-2007, 10:46 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reba View Post
Hubby and I were spanked as kids, and we don't have any emotional scars from that experience.

Spanking didn't hurt my daughter. She didn't grow into a rebel or drama queen. She's a very mature, calm person with a beautiful family. She spanked her kids when they were little, and they don't have any rebellion or emotional problems.

Calm, controlled spanking is not abuse. Disciplinary spanking is not the same as beating a child.

Not all children need spanking, but it's an option for those who do. Some kids are very sensitive, and require only mom's scowling eyebrow to stop their behavior. Other kids are more stubborn and require physical discipline to get the point across. Some kids would prefer physical pain to a lecture from disappointed parents. Parents have to figure out what works out best for each child.
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I respectfully disagree, question of child discipline spanking is not a form of child abuse, but I believe beating a child repeatably is a form of child abuse.

I believe spanking is a good form of discipline when a child did something very wrongful, even if you tried other disciplines and they aren't working, spanking is the answer, but I don't believe parents should often repeats the spanking whenever the child misbehaves, there are many other disciplines options that works for each child, but beating a child is not one of them.
If you rather disagree with me, that's fine.

I just prefer to have a violence-free family. If my child hit me, I wouldn't hit back, I would call the police to teach the child to learn how to be in the real world that hitting someone does not solve anything.

I know alot of my friends that got spanked, they usually laugh at their parents and do the bad thing again even though it hurt so much to them. One of my friend always got spanked by his father, and my friend continuing rebel against his father, later during his teenage, his father end up use the belt whipping on him and throwing him with the shoes, hit his head wtih the pipe, always slap his head when get his attention, but luckily his mom reported to the police and I am so glad, after all those, he no longer live with his father.

Spanking cause more violence, it teach kids how to assault and fight back.
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Hey everyone, I know some of you guys tried to pm me or leaving a message on my profile. I am very sorry that I haven't been around here lately because I went up to Puyallup State Fair working with my parents, and then I decided to go to Yakima Fair with my parents to work more, somehow when I came back and discovered that my computer had collasped. So I won't be using the computer as often as I was used to.

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Old 07-30-2007, 01:09 PM   #11 (permalink)
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PuyoPiyo;
You're confused between hitting with the flat of the hand on their buns, vs hitting the child with a close fist, those two are totally different point on.

I've been paddled spanked when I was young and turned out just fine, but I refused to use it on my children, Also had Corporal Punishment back in junior high where I attended school at, I even got spanked with a paddle too.

I supposed it depends on each individual how they reacted to being spanked.
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Old 07-30-2007, 01:18 PM   #12 (permalink)
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When I was kid yeah I get spanked by my mom and step dad when I'm home on weekend and summer. But now she doesnt spank anymore.
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Old 07-30-2007, 02:27 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PuyoPiyo View Post
If you rather disagree with me, that's fine.

I just prefer to have a violence-free family. If my child hit me, I wouldn't hit back, I would call the police to teach the child to learn how to be in the real world that hitting someone does not solve anything.
The police don't want to be bothered with your parenting issues. That's not the job of the police. Besides, do you really want to make a police report that will probably be forwarded to DSS or CPS, and have them forever snooping into your family life?

Quote:
I know alot of my friends that got spanked, they usually laugh at their parents and do the bad thing again even though it hurt so much to them. One of my friend always got spanked by his father, and my friend continuing rebel against his father, later during his teenage, his father end up use the belt whipping on him and throwing him with the shoes, hit his head wtih the pipe, always slap his head when get his attention, but luckily his mom reported to the police and I am so glad, after all those, he no longer live with his father.
There's something wrong with that situation. If corporal discipline is done properly while the child is young, there's usually no reason to need to continue it on teenagers. The goal is to confront the rebellious attitude while the child is young.

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Spanking cause more violence, it teach kids how to assault and fight back.
I personally don't know any people who are violent just because they were spanked as children. I suppose there are statistics for that assumption somewhere.
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Old 07-30-2007, 02:57 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Liebling:-))) View Post
Spank doesn't solve anything but worst and rebel...
true but spank can be good for kids to learn. I spanked my son few times when he was so young. He dont need spank anymore because he know how be good kid. If he become bad boy, I will send him to his room and no viedo game. it don't happen often.
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Old 07-30-2007, 03:21 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I love to have spank by hottie maid.
oh yeah! I'm bad boy!

frankly... have spank on child is limit on certain age and what situationis and it's necessary to do. I would do if I have child. And yes, I have been spank by my parents. Am I bad person now? No.
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Old 07-30-2007, 07:31 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheri View Post
PuyoPiyo;
You're confused between hitting with the flat of the hand on their buns, vs hitting the child with a close fist, those two are totally different point on.

I've been paddled spanked when I was young and turned out just fine, but I refused to use it on my children, Also had Corporal Punishment back in junior high where I attended school at, I even got spanked with a paddle too.

I supposed it depends on each individual how they reacted to being spanked.
Yeah you see a serious violence by parents against the children as different than spanking them, that's your opinion, I'd rather to just leave it alone because those are your children, I have no right to tell you what to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Reba View Post
The police don't want to be bothered with your parenting issues. That's not the job of the police. Besides, do you really want to make a police report that will probably be forwarded to DSS or CPS, and have them forever snooping into your family life?
Depends on the situation. What if my child pick up the bat and hit on my head, I would go straight to police, period. But if that children was just playing hit me as "revenge", I wouldn't and would talk with the children about the violence and assault, talk how can they solve the problem and about the consquences. I'd prefer to talk with children as between child and parents than lecture on them what to do and spank on them at the end because the children doesn't learn anything if I do that.

Quote:
There's something wrong with that situation. If corporal discipline is done properly while the child is young, there's usually no reason to need to continue it on teenagers. The goal is to confront the rebellious attitude while the child is young.
Yeah that situation was very wrong, I was there and saw everything what his dad did to him, but even though he was released from his dad, he is still a violence person as learning through his dad. Pretty sad, ne...

Quote:
I personally don't know any people who are violent just because they were spanked as children. I suppose there are statistics for that assumption somewhere.
Well anything hurts, except the heart, is a violence. It's just my opinion, but I respect your way, I won't tell what you should do and should not because it is not my rights to do. The only way I have right is to have my own children.
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Hey everyone, I know some of you guys tried to pm me or leaving a message on my profile. I am very sorry that I haven't been around here lately because I went up to Puyallup State Fair working with my parents, and then I decided to go to Yakima Fair with my parents to work more, somehow when I came back and discovered that my computer had collasped. So I won't be using the computer as often as I was used to.

Thanks everyone
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Old 07-31-2007, 12:07 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Reba View Post
Hubby and I were spanked as kids, and we don't have any emotional scars from that experience.

Spanking didn't hurt my daughter. She didn't grow into a rebel or drama queen. She's a very mature, calm person with a beautiful family. She spanked her kids when they were little, and they don't have any rebellion or emotional problems.

Calm, controlled spanking is not abuse. Disciplinary spanking is not the same as beating a child.

Not all children need spanking, but it's an option for those who do. Some kids are very sensitive, and require only mom's scowling eyebrow to stop their behavior. Other kids are more stubborn and require physical discipline to get the point across. Some kids would prefer physical pain to a lecture from disappointed parents. Parents have to figure out what works out best for each child.
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Old 07-31-2007, 12:42 PM   #18 (permalink)
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It all depends on how you use it and how often the parents spank the kids. If it is the 1st way to punish the kids, then that is abuse. If the parents are trying to correct the child and the child don't listen, then what should the parent do? Take something away? No TV? Stay in their room? Time out? Sit in the corner and think about it? What if those don't work and they do it again? What if you yell at the child multi times and don't work with everything else?

What are the other ways to punish your kids that not abuse and works?

I have been spanked and had the corporal punishment and I turned out fine. I also plan on doing the same with my kids. But also the punishment needs to fit the crime. Like, you don't do GI party for a week if the child breaks crew few. If the child ruins stuff at the park or something, then that punishment fits the crime. Also, you don't and shouldn't have to spank an older child.

It all depends on how you use the punishment. I also see no way that a time out or sending a child to their room is a punishment.
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Old 07-31-2007, 12:48 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I have spanked my kids. Must have a appropriate way. Violently spanking isn't good and lead kid"s mental and emotional baggage. While I spanked my kid, then sent her to her room. Then when time is right. Then I explained to her and she's growing to understand, bec of showing how much I love and care for my child. If I don't do any of this, then that is why many are rebellion and destroying the lives. It's base on the enviroments and who they are around with.
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Old 08-25-2007, 12:44 AM   #20 (permalink)
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spanking children

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Originally Posted by rjr2006 View Post
if yes, explain why............

When I was little, I got spanked a few times because of wrong attitude.

Feel free to discuss.
Growing up my dad was very strong into spanking all 9 of us. i thought he over did it, but when i became an adult, i read on the subject in the Bible about discipline. Now that i have my kids, 1-16, 1-12. yes i spanked both of them when they were small.i'm not talking about abuse, i'm talking about in control and on the but; it's important to know, that it's a behavior that will not be tolerated,and then give the child understanding after so that when they are older they will know right from wrong, and there are consequences to doing the wrong thing. as a parent you have a responsibility to train them up, and teach them right from wrong, and when they are old they will not depart from that.don't be afraid to correct a behavior, and do not let them manipulate you into believing or thinking that you shouldn't. it will benefit them in the long run, and they will respect you. if you do not correct a behavior while they are young, they will grow up disrespecting you and dishonoring you as a parent. you need to remember also you are not thier friend. you are the adult and children go through different stages in life. as babies they need to be taught how to do this or that. so you are not their friend. you are their teacher for a time. as they grow into different stages they need to learn how to be obedient. your ultimate goal as they become a young adult is in the long run you will be their friend. that has to be earned. so remember you are correcting a behavior and turning that rebellion into a wonderful young child that intern will love you , respect you, honor you, and be grateful that you made that decision for them while they were young .of course they will not appreciate it until they become adults and maybe not until they have their own children. so after you spank them, and they calm down, give them understanding about what they did was wrong. if you drive out the rebellious behavior, you will develop a wonderful obedient person. so look at down the road the benefit you will provide for them.
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Old 08-28-2007, 12:19 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Yes I spank my DD - but it is only one swat to the rump. Just enough to get her attention to say hey - your behavior is unacceptable - this usually happens when:
1st - I have told her to stop and gave her a warning.
2nd - gave her a second warning and a 3 minute timeout
3rd - when I have given a third and final warning and she refuses to behave is when I spank.

I was spanked when growing up and I have turned out to be a fine well adjusted individual.
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Old 08-28-2007, 01:18 PM   #22 (permalink)
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It depends on how it is done. In my view spanking should be done out love. To discipline, adjust, correct and refine behaviour. Surely there are other ways to do it but i think as reba pointed out it depends on the kind of kid you are dealing with.
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Old 08-28-2007, 04:01 PM   #23 (permalink)
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My mum used to hit me sometimes. It didn't make me respect her. I don't think it was what caused me to disrespect her either though. I think that was more to do with when my parents were arguing with each other and could get quite violent too. My dad said 'you are always doing it in front of the children' so I blamed my mum for the arguments and we didn't really get on very well when I was growing up. Mainly she just lost control.

My dad never hit me. He just gave me lengthy lectures and sometimes just completely Ignored me. Believe me I would rather get hit rather then being ignored the way he did. He did hit my brother a few times though and he isn't actually against corprol punishment. I think he figured that it wouldn't work on me because I didn't react to pain normally.

When I was growing up some teachers used corprol punishment as it was before the rules saying that it was not permitted. I found some teachers, like my dad, didn't have to hit the kids. The kids were naturally afraid of them. On the other hand there was some teachers that did hit but the kids still disrespected them. Like my science teacher. The kids actually threw snow balls at him. They had no respect for him at all and he was a really bad teacher. My Biolgy teacher didn't hit me but for some reason I was really afraid of her. She would just have to enter a room and everyone would be quiet. I got hit by my PE teacher but we didnt get on and I could be really rude and provokative but then she used to make fun of me because I was deaf and I really hated her. In the end I was banned from her lessons which made me really happy.

I don't see being hit as neccessarily abusive. I don't consider it neccesary either though. Sometimes I think you can be damaged just as much by non physical forms of disapline. One teacher when I was really small used to punish me all the time for things I couldn't help doing. Nearly every day I had to stand in the corner while the other kids were given nice things to eat. That sure didn't help with my self estime and it didn't help that my dad thought she was a good teacher. He probably didn't know but at that age I still asumed my parents were all knowing. Once when I was to be punished that way I just lost it and started shouting at her and ran off. I think I just snapped as her unfair punishments were just too much. Funily enough I didn't get punished that day.
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Old 11-29-2007, 11:00 AM   #24 (permalink)
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There is nothing wrong with spanking. I use to have to do it all the time. I have two boys and one girl and they are grown now. The reason I reply to this post a new thread is up right now about a ban on spanking.
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Old 11-29-2007, 11:13 AM   #25 (permalink)
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I was spanked and abused by Adopt father! Totally I hate him rest of my life.

I do not want spank my children and solution another way discipline my children likely eg:
Time out, Send their room, No TV, lose their privallage, No going out friends, so many different ways their weakness (use that one) and simple things talk sort work it out..

Fight or arguing isn't solution sometimes heat debate til Child can be out smart and seek for win the debate... I'm not allow let my child win the debate.. Unless talk importance work it out and solve the problem.

Teenager: Phew, Nightmare for me.. Yes mostly I've seen *ahem* rebelled! Oh boyee..
(sigh) I'm working on this progressing...
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